The Widower
by harrypotterfangirl2010
Summary: Tonks is in a long-term coma, Lupin is neither single, married or widowed. A Lupin/Ginny fic. Warning: infidelity, though I wanted to approach it in a 'what if you're married but not married' kind of way.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_Hey, guys! Well, this one is primarily set 4-5 years after the books end, though the first chapter is set immediately after. It meant to start with Ginny comforting Lupin when he's at Tonks's bedside, but I got a lot of PMs about how good Tess/Charlie was that their relationship got a bigger section. Those of you who want me to start on the Tess/Charlie fic I'm thinking of, starting PMing!_

_XXOO HPFG_

"Charlie! I wasn't expecting you," Tess Green said. She always felt a little nervous around Charlie Weasley. He'd made no secret of his feelings for her, and while she was flattered, she couldn't make him understand that it was never going to happen. He was a sweet guy, but rather naive, especially in light of the fact he worked with Dangerous Creatures for a living. Maybe _because_ he worked with Dangerous Creatures for a living; he was so absorbed in his work that he had no idea of how bigoted and discriminatory people could be. But _she_ knew. She had seen her brother's anguish over the torment his wife had gone through. She wouldn't do that to Charlie, no matter how much he insisted that he didn't care.

And the trouble was, she found him damn attractive. And it hadn't helped that the first time they had met – before he'd developed feelings for her – they'd developed an excellent camaraderie. He was intelligent, charming and utterly open-minded about Dark and Dangerous Creatures.

And, alright, she'd thought about kissing him. And might have done more than just thought about it had her reflexes not been as good as they had the times he had attempted to kiss her. It had been all she could do to evade him. Which she hadn't really wanted to do.

"I came to see if you'd heard anything about Tonks," Charlie said. "I'd go myself, but I know Remus doesn't like being reminded that he wasn't the first man in her life."

Tess blushed a little. She was all too familiar with a werewolf's territorial nature; they were prone to jealousy. She didn't like hearing about Charlie and Tonks's relationship, either. "Nothing's changed," Tess said. "She's the same." She sighed sadly. "I wish there was something I could do. He was there for me when I needed him, and I can't do anything in return."

"He knows you care, Tess," Charlie said. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm glad mum killed her."

He was shaking, and Tess swallowed her irrational feelings of jealousy. "I know she meant a lot to you," she said. She touched his arm comfortingly. "Remus isn't a bad guy. If you talk to him, he'll let you see her."

Charlie smiled sadly. "Thanks, but he _is_ her husband. And I don't feel _that way_ about her anymore," he added pointedly. "I can't barge in on his grief when I just want to see a mate."

"Oh, Charlie. I know things haven't been easy for you. Here, let me get you a drink." Tess led Charlie through the flat to the small living room. She fixed them both glasses of firewhisky.

"Thankyou," he said. "Things aren't too good at home," he admitted. "Mum's taken Fred's death really badly. I can't do anything to help. I feel like I'm better off going back to Romania."

"That's not true. Your mum needs you. They all need you. And – I kinda like having you around," she admitted shyly. _Where did that come from? _she asked herself. She shouldn't be encouraging him.

Charlie's eyes went wide when she said that. He swooped in to kiss her. Weather it was the firewhisky slowing her reactions or weather she just didn't want to, Tess didn't dodge it. Despite the firewhisky on his own breath, he tasted sweet and masculine at the same time. There had been other guys in the past, but none as old as Charlie, and no-one since she had been bitten. There was no denying that Charlie knew what he was doing.

After a few seconds, she gathered her senses. "No," she said weakly. "Your mum – "

"Mum will come around once Bill and Fleur have a few kids." He had no interest in children – his line of work was too dangerous for him to feel it was morally right – but no matter how much he insisted, Molly was determined to change his mind – and see him settle down with the right woman. Of which Tess, who couldn't have children, was emphatically not. Charlie was counting on his older brother Bill, who married a year previously, to have children soon and get his mother off his case. Tess was who he wanted.

"I'm too young for you. Too dangerous – "

"You're the same amount younger that Fleur is. And I don't care about you being a werewolf. You're sweet and intelligent and I love being around you." He went in to kiss her again, his persistence paying off. She didn't _really_ want him to stop. "Please, Tess. I'm crazy about you and I don't want to be alone."

"You'll be alone again when you go back to Romania," she said, even more weakly. "We both will be."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Charlie said resolutely. He flicked his tongue into her mouth. "I won't hurt you. You know I won't."

"I know," she admitted. She shuddered when he slid his hands down her bare arms and under her shirt.

"Tess," he moaned softly. "Tell me if you want me to stop." He pushed her onto her back so he was on top of her and pushed her shirt up. She flinched when he ran his hand across her bite mark. "Sorry," he murmured. He knew she was sensitive about it. "I think you're beautiful," he whispered. "I don't care about any of that." He took her hands and ran them down his arms, which were peppered with burn marks. "See? I can't really complain about your appearance." He started to undo the buttons on her shirt, kissing her flawless skin as he went. She shivered at his touch and brought her hands up under his shirt, sliding them over his back. Groaning, Charlie bucked against her. "You really have no idea how sexy you are," he said.

Tess tangled her legs up in Charlie's and pushed up against him. "Don't do that if you don't mean it," he said huskily. For someone who had been holding him at arm's length for months, she sure was eager enough. But then, werewolves had notoriously high sex drives. She certainly didn't seem bothered by the massive tent in his pants. Emboldened by this acceptance, he slipped one of his hands under her skirt and up the inside of her leg. He wriggled his fingers inside her panties and between her legs.

She gasped when she felt his fingers slip inside her. "Charlie!" she cried. Given that his stocky appearance made him look graceless, he sure as hell knew what he was doing.

"You like that, huh?" he asked. She nodded and, burying her face in his neck, dug her fingers into his back. "I want to make you feel so special," he crooned. _I want to make you forget all about _him_._ Her sire was a notorious paedophile and although she didn't talk about it, he must have put her through unimaginable horror when he turned her. He wondered if that was part of the reason she had held him at arm's length. He was filled with the desire to make her feel special – and send her wild with desire. "Baby, baby," he crooned as he stroked her clitoris. Their kisses got deeper, more frantic, and she rubbed her hands up and down his back faster and faster. She pushed herself against his fingers, willing him to go deeper.

"Charlie!" she cried out as she climaxed. "Charlie-Charlie-_CHARLIE!_"

He grinned at her. "If I'd known you were that into it, I would have tried much harder to get you to be with me," he said. He took her hand from under his shirt and brought it around to his swollen crotch. "I want you," he said simply. "Your body, your heart, your mind. All of you. But only if you want me."

"I want you," she said. She rubbed against his crotch, marvelling at his size and the way he shook with pleasure. She had no doubt that he wanted her for herself, for all of her, and not for whatever perverse desires Greyback had had. Thinking about her sire said a shudder of revulsion through her, despite her recent orgasm. "I've never been with anyone else," she admitted. "Apart from – "

"Tess, I understand. I figured as much." Although sometimes it was hard to believe she was only nineteen, her experiences in the last year had made her seem so much older. But then, he supposed _he_ hardly acted twenty-six himself. "I'm sorry for what he did to you. I want to make you feel special. I want to make you feel loved." And he went back to kissing her, easing her out of her panties. "Help me," he said. She undid his jeans and pulled them down, revealing the fact he wasn't wearing anything underneath. "I like things to flow freely," he said gruffly. He wedged his hand between her legs in a silent request for her to spread them. "I'll stop anytime you want," he said huskily.

She was warm and wet and he had trouble staying inside her, especially given they were balanced precariously on a couch that wasn't suited to his stocky frame. But he persevered and started pumping her. It got easier when she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Jesus, Tess," he groaned. He couldn't remember being so turned on in his life. He slid his hand between her legs and started caressing her again. "Oh – sweet – _Merlin_!" he cried. She rubbed her legs up and down his back, and he was forced to abandon all restraint. Yanking her head to one side, and sank his mouth into her neck, fuelled by the sudden desire to mark her for his own. He felt her tearing at his shirt and struggled out of it. She raked her nails down his back. Moaning, he pumped her harder and faster before thrusting hard into her and spilling himself inside her. "Sorry," he mumbled apologetically. "I didn't mean to be that rough with you."

She clung to him. "It's OK," she said shyly. "I liked it." She ran her palms down his back and felt the stickiness from where she'd drawn blood. "Sorry, I'm getting used to my own strength."

"How about you rub it better?" he asked cheekily. "Or even better, take a shower with me and do my back."

She frowned. "I'm really sorry, Charlie. I just got lost in the moment, and – "

"Tess, Tess, stop," Charlie said, laughing. "I like it a little rough. I wouldn't be in my line of work if I couldn't take a bit of pain. I loved Tonks, but she used to be so frustrating, how she didn't like it very rough. Sometimes I wonder how she was ever happy with Remus."

Tess frowned. "Don't talk about her," she said, more snappishly than she'd intended.

Charlie grinned at her. "Don't tell me you're _jealous_," he said, a trifle smugly.

"Of course not!"

"You _are_!" he insisted, pleased as punch at this development. "You don't like the idea of me having been with other women."

"It's immaterial to me how many women you've been with," Tess said icily, wriggling underneath him to get out.

He kept her pinned under him and kissed her possessively. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's natural. I know you guys are kind of territorial. Honestly, I'm flattered. I didn't realise you liked me so much."

"How am I supposed to _not_ like you?" she asked crossly. "You look at me like I'm like you."

"Like me?"

"Whole. Pure-blooded."

He kissed her forehead chastely. "You know I don't care about that. But I am crazy about _you_. I've never met someone like you. _You_ look at _me_ like I don't have all these burns. Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're gorgeous. Now come on. I want my back done."

And so Tess found herself swept up, at least for the moment, in Charlie's enthusiasm.

* * *

><p>"Charlie finally grind you down? You're glowing," Remus Lupin teased his pack-sister.<p>

Tess blushed. "He came over to ask about Dora and well, one thing led to another. I know it has to end when he goes back to Romania. But he makes me feel so special. Remus, and... I miss that. I want to enjoy it while I can."

"You don't need to be so defensive, Tess. You know I like Charlie. He's the most open-minded pureblood that I know. And he's crazy about you. Enough to defy that mother of his."

"Molly won't be happy."

"Molly won't be happy because she's got her heart set on dozens of grandkids. Once Bill and Fleur have a few kids, she'll get off his case."

"That's what he said."

"Besides," Lupin said cheekily. "If you and he get married, that will make his Teddy's uncle."

"Remus! I can't believe you'd think of such a thing! How's Teddy doing, anyway?"

"He's still not eating. I'm really worried about him. And I miss Dora like crazy." Lupin raked his fingers through his hair. "And Andy's on my case all the time. She blames me for what happened."

"How could she _possibly_ blame you, Remus? It was Bellatrix who did it."

"If I hadn't married her, I wouldn't have gotten her pregnant and she would have had her full strength."

"You can't think like that. Teddy needs you," Tess said supportively. "Remus, I wish there was something I could do."

He squeezed her hand. "I appreciate your concern. It's nice just having someone who cares. But there's nothing you can do and I'd rather be alone with him."

* * *

><p>"Tess, come to the funeral, please," Bill Weasley pleaded. Tess was his sort-of pack-sister by dint of the fact that he wasn't a 'real' werewolf, but he knew that if Charlie had his way, he would be his sister-in-law. <em>If<em> Charlie had his way. Tess was reluctant to let their relationship become anything more than just sexual.

"Your mum never liked me, she wouldn't want me there," Tess said flatly. She wasn't that surprised that Bill had come to plead the case. Charlie had already begged her, and when that had failed, he had gone to the next rung up the ladder of authority in the Weasley family – who was now the head of the family.

"She only didn't like you because she's mad about grandkids," Bill repeated Charlie's claim. "Charlie's been telling her for years that he doesn't want children and it was about as effective as talking to a brick wall. It didn't become a reality until you came along. And that's just it, Tess. It became a reality because Charlie's crazy about you. I've never seen him like this about anyone. You make his relationship with Tonks look like a schoolboy crush – sorry," he added when he saw Tess scowl, although he wasn't particularly sorry. Her reaction to hearing Charlie's ex mentioned was a sign that she cared deeply about him – enough to be jealous of any other woman that had been in his life. "Please, Tess. He's been so happy for being with you. Mum would have seen that eventually. Are you really going to hold onto whatever misplaced feelings she held against you when he needs you there?"

Well, how could she _possibly_ say no to Bill when he put it like that? Besides, he was her sort-of pack-brother, and had looked over her during her first few full moons when Lupin had been unable to. She owed him a lot – his mother's funeral was peanuts compared. "OK," she said, albeit _very_ grudgingly.

* * *

><p>Tess was sitting in Charlie's lap, his head bent into her shoulder. Bill couldn't tell from his vantage point if he was crying or not, but it was easy enough to tell from her body language that, despite her willowy frame against Charlie's stocky one, she was the strong one at the moment – and physical strength had nothing to do with it. (Although Bill had no doubt that she could flip her twice-her-weight boyfriend like a ragdoll if the inclination hit her.) It had been obvious at the funeral, when he had been holding her hand tightly.<p>

She was good for him, Bill reflected. They had something there had Charlie hadn't had with anyone else. And he cared about as much about her lycanthropy and her age as much as he would if those factors didn't exist. Even though right now she was clearly the strong one in the relationship, it was just as clear that they were in sync with one another. They had something that he hadn't had with Tonks – in fact, come to think of it, that he hadn't seen between Tonks and Lupin, either.

Bill hoped that Tess could get over these insecurities she had about her age and, far greater, her lycanthropy. She seemed to feel the bigotry towards half-breeds even more than Lupin, if that was possible, perhaps because for eighteen years, Tess had basked in the glory of being a beautiful, talented _human_ witch – albeit a muggle-born. Having experienced that glory, she was all the more aware of the discrepancy between that and being a half-breed. Which maybe made it all the more difficult for her to accept that Charlie was crazy about her.

Or maybe, Bill thought dryly, Charlie just needed to doggedly pursue her and wear her down the same way Tonks had done with Lupin.

"Ron," Bill said quietly enough that Tess couldn't hear him, "sleep in the living room tonight."

"What?" Ron squawked indignantly, understanding immediately that the request was coming from Bill's intention to have Tess stay the night. "Make _her_ sleep in the living room."

"Lower your voice," Bill said quietly; it was only the fact that Tess was so focused on Charlie's grief (which, Bill thought, was a good thing, if for a tragic reason) that she hadn't heard Ron. "Tess won't sleep in an open room. She'll go home and Charlie needs her. And don't start up about Hermione. Tess needs to feel welcome here – and wanted – far more than Hermione does."

Grumbling, Ron had to concede that. Their parents had accepted Hermione as one of the family – as they had Harry – back in first year. Whereas Tess clearly had some deep-rooted issues about her sense of belonging. It was the bane of their relationship; Charlie was always complaining about how Tess couldn't – or wouldn't – understand why someone would be crazy about her. And Ron figured that if that was what _he_ heard, then Bill heard it a lot more. Ron had never understood that mentality – Lupin was the same. They were both terrific people, and for someone who had been raised by such open-minded parents, he was truly baffled by both Tess and Lupin's steadfast conviction that no-one could want them, let alone love them.

* * *

><p>Lupin tensed to feel a small hand on his shoulder. He had been so lost in the presence of his wife – if you could even say she <em>had<em> a presence – that he had been completely oblivious to anyone entering the room. And given that he had a werewolf's sense of hearing and smell, that was saying something. "It's just me, Ginny," a gentle, feminine voice said. "Ginny Weasley."

It took a few seconds for her words to penetrate through his grief-stricken mind. "Oh, God, Ginny, your mum's funeral," he said. "I completely forgot. I'm so sorry."

"It's OK." She didn't take her hand off his shoulder. "She'd understand."

"No, it's not OK," he said. He had been there after her father had died two years ago, more so than any other Order of the Phoenix member – except her mother, Molly, of course. It had seemed natural, since he had taught her and three of her brothers (four, actually, but the Weasley family hadn't been on speaking terms with the middle child Percy at that point) and had a good, mentor-esque relationship with them. And he'd had every intention of going to Molly's funeral following her death in the weeks shortly after the war – killed by Narcissa Malfoy in retribution for Molly's defeat of Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix. (What Narcissa had been thinking, Lupin wasn't sure; she and her husband had been spared the wizard prison Azkaban because of Narcissa's eleventh-hour betrayal of Lord Voldemort, which she had promptly nullified by killing Molly.) But he forgot so many things these days; it all came back to his wife. Nymphodora Tonks, whose mind appeared to be blasted out of existence by her aunt, Bellatrix LeStrange. She was lying in a bed at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, looking as if she were asleep – deeply asleep – when in fact no amount of stimulation had been able to rouse her for weeks. He had sought her mind using Legilimency and found nothing. It was as if her body was alive but everything that made her – her mind, her soul, her essence – was switched off.

And it was all his fault. If he had insisted that she not fight at Hogwarts, she would still be here in every sense of the word. She had been too weak from giving birth to their son Teddy, her instincts off-balance. If she hadn't been there, Bellatrix wouldn't have had her in her sights. And now – now he was married but not married to a woman who might wake up tomorrow as if nothing had happened... or spend the rest of her natural life half-alive like Alice and Frank Longbottom were spending the rest of their natural lives half-aware.

So Ginny understood why Lupin had forgotten about her mother's funeral. "I understand," she said. Since she had become good friends with Neville Longbottom and understood the condition his parents were in – and would be for as long as they lived – she had some degree of understanding as to what Lupin was going through. The centre of his universe wasn't gone, but not quite there either.

"I promised your mum I'd look after you," he mumbled.

"If you're as good a mentor in seventh year as you were in second, I'm sure you'll do an excellent job."

"Of course," he said. He had half-forgotten his offer to return to Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft the following school year. He had taught there four years ago, but been forced to resign after it had been discovered that he was a werewolf. The new Headmistress Professor Minerva McGonagall had made it clear she didn't give two hoots about his condition – with one exception, he had kept his lycanthropy in check the last two years with Wolfsbane – and that any parent who _did_ could send their children elsewhere. Now was _not_ the time to start banging on about blood- and human-status. And Ginny, as the youngest of the Weasleys, would be returning for her last year. "But I thought Bill wanted you to go to Beauxbatons." Bill was her oldest brother, and the head of the Weasley family now, through both age and practicality – second brother Charlie loved his work with dragons too much to ever leave Romania for long enough to see his youngest siblings through adulthood, third brother Percy still mending his fences, and fourth brother George too deep in his grief over his twin brother Fred's death.

"No, _Fleur_ wanted me to go to Beauxbatons," Ginny corrected him, naming her sister-in-law, married to Bill. "I threatened to drop out altogether if I went anywhere but Hogwarts."

He laughed in spite of himself. "Good. Hogwarts needs people like you."

"Hogwarts needs people like _you,_" Ginny informed him.

He laughed hollowly. "If you're thinking I'm going to try killing myself, don't worry. I'd never leave my son to be raised by a Slytherin-educated Black, even if he _is_ his grandmother. And even then, I'd be too scared of Pomona and Minerva hauling me from the dead for allowing such a thing to happen." Ginny repressed a grin at that. Professor Pomona Sprout of Hufflepuff House and Professor Minerva McGonagall of Gryffindor, who had been House Mothers to Tonks and Lupin respectively, would shudder at the thought of one of 'theirs' being raised by a Slytherin. Andromeda Tonks might be the most open-minded and tolerant Slytherin in living memory, but she was still a Slytherin, and no-one but Andromeda wanted Teddy to be raised by Andromeda.

"But you must feel so lonely... be so lost," Ginny said. Her own grief at her mother and brother's recent deaths, but she was still sensitive enough to know that his was deeper still. Not to mention deepened by the guilt he felt over how much of his one-year marriage he had spent running away.

And now he couldn't take it back.

"I wish it had been me," he said flatly. "I wish she had _listened_ to be when I told her she was too weak to fight. I wish she was still here and I could tell her how sorry I am and how much I love her and that I'll make it up to her. But I can't – she'll never know – she'll never know how much I love her – how much I need her..."

He was crying now, great, heaving sobs. Despite the fact he was old enough to be her father and had once been her Professor – and would be again – she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind. He seemed to welcome the embrace like an anchor tethering him to land in the face of a cruel sea of loneliness, and gripped her wrists tightly, as if she would withdraw if he didn't. "She must have known," Ginny said soothingly. "She was crazy about you and she was too intelligent to delude herself that you returned her feelings if you didn't. She knew you loved her... she did."

Lupin seemed to take comfort out of her words. She slowly felt his body still and his tears quieten. Then she sensed another presence in the room behind her – and knew instinctively who had that kind of presence. That regal, commanding presence that could be no less intimidating than her older sister's despite having a firm grip on her sanity.

Andromeda Tonks.

And she was looking at Ginny and her son-in-law in such a way that made Ginny feel as if they'd been caught in bed together – and by his wife's bedside, no less – and not just someone giving comfort to someone that she cared about.

Ginny jumped away as if Lupin's skin burned her. Lupin snapped his head around, his senses kicking in after Ginny's – ironically, since he usually had superhuman senses and would have sensed Andromeda before Ginny had he not been so lost in his grief. "Andromeda," he said, suddenly feeling very guilty, even though he hadn't been doing anything wrong – hadn't even instigated his embrace with Ginny. Although Andromeda wasn't to know that... and she wouldn't have thought any better of him even if she had. Lupin had felt intimidated enough by her when she had been Andromeda Black, the older cousin of his best friend Sirius. As Andromeda Tonks, his mother-in-law, she had been icily, steely cold in her disapproval of him.

And now she had caught him in the arms of another woman. And she would never believe that it was perfectly innocent and that he hadn't even instigated it... because she didn't _want_ to believe so highly in him. "Ginny, I want you to go," he said with a forcefulness that belied his quiet tone. Ginny nodded and left, clearly pleased to be as far away from Andromeda as she could get. Andromeda didn't make it easy for her, forcing Ginny to squeeze past her to get through the door. It always amazed Lupin as to how such a physically slight woman as Andromeda managed to take up most of a doorframe and force another fairly slight person to squeeze past.

"You didn't need to make the poor girl feel like a whore," Lupin said coolly. "We weren't doing anything."

"I didn't say you were," Andromeda said with a haughty sneer that could have rivalled Bellatrix's. "_You_ brought it up. What was she doing here, anyway? She and Dora aren't exactly close."

"She came to see me. I forgot her mother's funeral."

A guilty look flashed Andromeda's face. She, too, had forgotten about Molly's funeral. She and Molly had been reasonably good friends, with children of close age. She had meant to go, but like so many things, it had slipped her mind. She had thrown herself into her old job of Healer and her new position as Head of St. Mungos, paradoxically to fill her time and distract herself from her grief and to be constantly close to her daughter. "You should go," she said.

"I'll drop by The Burrow later. I need to be here right now." And he turned back to his wife, lost deep in thought for a while. Then he said, "I'd trade places if I could."

Lupin had a way of getting so lost in his thoughts that when he spoke, it was like a door slamming. "Pardon?" Andromeda asked.

"I'd trade places with her if I could. And not just because of cowardice, although that's part of that. It's always easier to leave than be the one who's left behind – I'm sure you know that," Lupin said. Andromeda had given up her high standing within the magical community to marry a muggle-born, loved Ted enough to give that up, and been very happy for nearly thirty years. "She'd be a better parent than me. He needs her more than he needs me."

For the first time since they had announced their marriage, Andromeda was actually a little sympathetic towards her son-in-law. She had never doubted her choice in marriage and refused to let Ted have cause, either. They had been strong in their love, and that strength had enabled them to face the world. Perhaps her daughter and son-in-law would have had that strength, too, but now they were divided... perhaps forever. "You're a good dad, Remus," she said, albeit a touch grudgingly.

"I can't even goddamn feed him properly!" Lupin yelled.

"There's more to being a parent than just feeding him, and there's more to feeding him than nursing him," Andromeda said. "For the love of Merlin, man up and be a father before I take him away from you."

That seemed to jolt Lupin out of his pity-party; he may have doubted his ability, but he still preferred himself over Andromeda; Andromeda could have him on the full moon. "I'm sorry, you're right," he said. "He deserves more than my pity." He reached out and took his wife's hand in his. "I'm going to make it up to you. If I can't be a better husband to you then I'm going to be the best dam father Teddy could ask for."

* * *

><p>"Remus, come in. I thought you'd be by."<p>

Lupin smiled guiltily at Bill Weasley. "Ginny told you?" he asked. Bill nodded sagely. "Nothing happened," Lupin said, defensive as a guilty schoolboy. "I was just upset and she was trying to comfort me and – "

Bill held out his hand in a _stop _motion. "Please, Remus, I ought to be insulted that you think I'd think so little of you. As if you'd conduct an affair – with someone young enough to be your daughter – who's you pack-brother's sister – at your wife's bed-side – c'mon, mate, give me a _little_ more credit."

Lupin smiled ruefully. It had been a long time since someone had thought so highly of him that they'd be insulted if he gave them so little credit. "How is she?" Lupin asked.

"A bit rattled. Andromeda can be... formidable. You can go and see her if you want. Her room's just through the hall."

"You managed to give her her own room?" Lupin asked. The Burrow had hardly been a mansion, but it had been a sprawling estate compared to the cosy-but-small five-bedroom Shell cottage.

"Percy stays at his own flat," Bill said. Although he had made amends with his family in the final battle, the hurts were still to raw for Percy to live with them, and he had the tact to know it. Better for him to ease his way back in. "Ron's in with Charlie, although he's with Tess so much he's hardly here. And George has the other room. He doesn't gel well with others. I think eventually he'll go back to the joke-shop."

Lupin nodded. It made sense. George was lost without his twin, but he would eventually find his way again and continue on with the joke shop he had started with his twin, both for himself and Fred's legacy. "I'm sorry I forgot the funeral," he said.

"It's fine. I can't imagine what you're going through. No-one blames you for it. And if you want to make it up to us, keep an eye out on Ginny next year."

Lupin smile wryly. "That's what Ginny said."

He made his way to Ginny's bedroom and knocked tentatively. When he heard a _come in_, he pushed the door open. "It's only me," he said. "I just wanted to apologise for what happened today." With a sense of balance that only a half-breed could have, he balanced Teddy's bassinet in the crook of one arm and placed a large slab of chocolate and an exquisite bunch of flowers on her dresser.

Ginny's eyes went wide when she saw the extravagant gift – something her parents had barely been able to afford at birthdays and Christmas, let alone as an apology of something they hadn't even done. "Remus, I can't accept these. It's too much and I – er – " she fumbled with her words. Everyone knew the dire financial straits Lupin was normally into thanks to his unemployability – at least until now.

"You know I'm dirt poor?" Lupin offered. He found himself chuckling when Ginny turned away, blushing. She looked so genuine and sweet, despite the tragedy that had befallen the family. "I have more money than I know what to do with. I have access to all of Dora's savings – about fifty thousand Galleons – plus the rent on her flat, plus the rent on mine 'cos I'll be living at Hogwarts or staying with Andy, _plus_ my income. I've lived too frugally for too long to have a clue how to use the money so I may as well spend it on others. And I wanted to apologise for the way Andy treated you."

"It wasn't your fault. And I can kind of understand why she was angry. I wouldn't like it if it were my daughter and son-in-law."

"That's what I like about you, Gin. You're always understanding where the other person is coming from. I hope I have more students like you next you. We could deal with your kind these days."

"Glad I could be of assistance," Ginny quipped. Impulsively – and because her brother wasn't about to come barging in – she took his hand. "You are cherished more than you know, Remus," she said softly.

He squeezed her hand back. "That means more to me than I can say," he said gratefully.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Oooh, _yes_, Remus, I love what you do to me. _Harder, _baby, _harder._"

Lupin grunted. He hated when Sarah Callahan called him 'baby'. It was a stupid term of endearment to begin with, implying a degree of infantilism, made all the more idiotic that she was young enough to be _his_ child. He had asked her not to use it, but she had a tendency to forget in the throes of passion.

He grunted again. It was a small complaint. She was eager to please and open-minded in bed, and possessed more than a few talents – talents that he knew ought to be beyond her seventeen years. And she was discreet and appeared not to mind when he graded her papers according to her (somewhat average) ability as a DADA student and not her status as his lover.

He pumped her hard, stroking between her legs as he barrelled towards a climax. With both of them satisfied, he withdrew, ever aware of the condom. He actually used a very effective contraceptive potion but he was very aware of how careful he had to be. He wasn't in a position to marry Sarah if he got her pregnant... and she wasn't the kind of girl he would marry even if he could... whatever Sarah might think otherwise.

He settled on his stomach and kissed her shoulder idly. He wondered how he could get Sarah to leave early. They usually spent most of the evening together when she came to him, but he had visited his wife yesterday and being with Sarah made him feel guilty. And feeling guilty didn't do much for his libido. He wished she hadn't come now. He wanted to get rid of her and spend the rest of his night with Teddy.

Sarah tensed up. She knew when he was thinking about his wife. She _hated_ being reminded that he was married, although of course everyone knew about it. It was such a great tragedy, the war hero whose wife had been cut down, alive but not alive. She'd been in a coma for nine months; there weren't many who had more sympathy. Possibly even more than if Tonks had just died.

And that was Sarah's plan. She had had a crush on Lupin way back in second year, and had felt childish jealousy when he had gotten married, and felt a vindictive pleasure when she'd heard about what had happened to his wife. It was her plan to be his companion during his wife's deterioration until he realised what he had in her.

Except now he was thinking of his wife. And he did that when he had been to see Tonks. Sarah had no idea what he got out of it. What _could_ he get out of a comatose wife? "You've been to see her," Sarah came sullenly. "And then you went to bed with me."

"_You_ came to _me_," Lupin reminded her. He never sought Sarah out, it would too easily draw attention to their relationship, which so far had remained a secret to everyone but McGonagall. She came to him when she was free.

"I wouldn't have if I'd known you gone to see her," Sarah said, still sullen, and Lupin remembered something else he didn't like about Sarah; she was easily jealous.

Inwardly, Sarah was seething. She was jealous by nature and furious that Lupin didn't seem to give a toss that she didn't exactly have a snow white past. She _wanted_ him to be jealous – it would be a sign that he was crazy about her. "I deserve more respect," she complained. "I'm not just a warm body for you to use and discard."

"What do you want me to do?" Lupin asked testily. "You knew when you get involved with me I was married."

"Yeah, and she's done you the world of good," Sarah said sarcastically. "_I'm_ here and I demand some goddamn respect."

"If you want respect, then I suggest you don't go around sleeping with married professors,"

Sarah flared at that. "You _bastard_," she spat. She went to strike him. Lupin deflected the blow easily. At that point, Teddy began to cry in the next room. "You walk away from me and it's over," Sarah threatened as Lupin slid out of bed.

"I'll never put you before my son," Lupin said. He performed a basic cleaning spell on himself so he wouldn't smell of Sarah in front of his son – something he was always paranoid about.

"I mean it, Remus." Sarah couldn't believe how quickly things had turned sour. She had planned to be indispensible to him, but he had shrugged her off as if she were of no consequence.

"I've no doubt that you do. You should find someone your own age, Sarah, who is free to be with you. I can't give you what you need."

"You mean you _won't_," Sarah corrected.

"OK, fine, I _won't_. I love my wife. I wouldn't be free of her even if I could. Do you understand?"

"I understand that you used me," Sarah spat. "How do you think people will feel when they found out what you did?"

"And are you going to tell them?" Lupin asked coolly. "I might come across as a jerk for playing around on my wife, but people will understand, if not approve. _You, _however,will be the tramp who's sleeping with a married professor."

Sarah scowled. "Fuck you," she spat. "You'll be sorry," she promised. They both knew it was an empty threat.

She stomped out of his rooms and Lupin picked up his son. "It's OK," he said to the wailing child. "I didn't like her much anyway. Daddy's just _really_ lonely," he admitted. There was a knock on the door. "Oh, for fuck's sake," he growled. Putting Teddy down, he went to the door. "Sarah, I thought you never wanted to see me again...er, hello, Ginny," he said, deeply embarrassed to have been caught out. "I – er – didn't mean – " he started lamely.

"I had my suspicions for a while," Ginny said. "She's never liked me and couldn't resist gloating a little. Don't worry," she said when she saw Lupin frown with concern. "I don't think anyone else has a clue. You play a very good grieving widower," she couldn't help tease.

He frowned again. "I'm not playing," he said. "I'm just lonely."

"Of course you are. I didn't mean to insult you."

"You may as well come in. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Following you sister's instructions to see how you were doing under the guise of asking for help with my studies."

Lupin laughed at that. "Tess clearly doesn't know you too well, although Charlie ought to," he said. "No-one who knows you would buy that you need help with DADA."

And he was very fond of her, fonder than he had dares show in case he was accused of favouritism. He welcomed her company even with such a transparent excuse. "I was really lonely," he repeated when they sat down.

"You don't have to justify yourself to me, Professor."

"I thought I told you to call me Remus in these rooms. And yes, I do. I value the esteem you hold me in. I don't want to lose it."

"You're not going to lose it... Remus. Though I might question your _taste..._"

"Sarah – Sarah's trash," Lupin said, feeling oddly guilty for saying such a thing about his very recent lover – even if it was true. "I can't ruin her reputation any more. She's not someone I could fall in love with, and I don't want to forget how I feel about Dora. I don't love Sarah and whatever plans she had, she didn't love me. It was... convenient."

"And you don't think she'll go blabbing?" Ginny asked.

"Not particularly. And even if she does, her reputation will suffer more than mine. I'm a popular war figure, and everyone knows that werewolves have abnormally high libidos. People will understand, even if they disapprove of me playing around on a Black. But she'll be the one who's sleeping with a married professor. Its hypocrisy, but with any luck it will encourage her to keep her mouth shut."

"But – you're not seeing her anymore?"

Lupin shook her head. "It was a mistake. I overestimated her grasp of the situation. She wanted more from me than I can give her... and even if I _could_, I wouldn't. I know they say I married above me, and maybe I did – "

"Remus, that's not true – " Ginny started to say, but Lupin gave her a pointed look and she shut up.

"Maybe I did marry above me, but I would never be happy with someone like Sarah. She's not – she's not – " he struggled to find the words.

"Not good enough for you?" Ginny offered. "You're worth more than you think, Remus. And you _didn't_ marry beneath you. Tonks loved you, and you deserved that love. You're not going to get it from someone like Sarah Callahan."

"And who else am I going to get it from, Ginny? I don't have anything to offer a woman. I'm married but my wife has been in a coma for the last nine months. I can't commit to a public relationship 'cos that makes the woman my mistress – and a whore. And I can't be with my wife. That only leaves me with women like Sarah, who were tramps to begin with." And light years from what Lupin wanted out of a relationship.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry. I wish you were with me and I didn't have to resort to this stuff. I wish I could take it all back. When I think about the time I wasted running from you – I'm so, so sorry, Dora. <em>Please, <em>if you just wake up, I'll never look at another woman. I swear. _Please..._" He gripped his wife's hand tightly. He ought to have known by now that pleading with her to wake it wouldn't work, but he still attempted it every time he saw her – especially now that he felt so guilty about his affair.

"You have some nerve, acting like the grieving widow after your actions," came the voice of his mother-in-law.

Lupin cringed. Andromeda was the last person he felt like talking to. "What actions?" he asked coolly, although he knew what Andromeda was referring to. She had a sixth sense about indiscretions and had always believed the worst in him.

"Your dalliance with one of your students," Andromeda said. "Who, from what I hear, has been with half the boys in her year. Guess that makes her almost a match for you in the promiscuity department," she jeered.

"I never cheated on her, which you damn well know," Lupin retorted. Andromeda gave him a pointed look, which he writhed under. "I mean – not before this happened. And not until recently."

"Because _that_ makes me feel better, knowing you didn't seduce a student until _after_ your _wife_ slipped into a coma."

"I didn't seduce her! _She_ came onto _me_! God, why do I even_ care_ that you don't believe me? You never wanted to believe anything good about me anyway. I loved her – I _still_ love her – and if I could have her with me that would make me the happiest person on the planet. But I _can't_ and I'm lonely. I'm not _you_, Andromeda, I can't just go on embracing my widowhood like it's some cloak of pride."

"You're not widowed!" Andromeda screamed at him. She went to strike him, and he caught her wrist easily, taking a perverse pleasure out of seeing her flinch at his touch.

"There was a time you were my friend," he pointed out. "Are you so shallow that your friendship disintegrated when I started seeing your daughter? Don't tell me you're one of those bullshit liberals who preach open-mindedness but only so long as it doesn't have to do with them personally?"

"No, I'm a mother whose daughter is barely alive because she was too weak to fight – because of what you did to her. Besides, I have no problem with Teddy being whatever he is."

"And if you don't get off my case, you won't see him again," Lupin said.

"You wouldn't dare. I'll have you declared an unfit parent. You think anyone will have any sympathy for you after they find out about you and that trollop?"

"You don't want to get in a fight with me over Teddy, Andromeda. You know I'll win. And then you won't see Teddy again. Cut me some slack and you'll see him at least once a month." As a matter of practicality, Andromeda needed to have Teddy at the full moon anyway; but no point in making it sound like she was doing him a favour.

"Twice a month," Andromeda countered. "Every second weekend."

It was only what he'd been willing to give her in the first place. "Deal," he said. "Hell, you can even have him every second summer. Minerva wants me to spend my summers doing research for Hogwarts." It was a Hogwarts-funded trip to parts of the world that contained the biggest concentrates of Dark Magic and Dark and Dangerous Creatures. Lupin figured that he couldn't exactly turn down expenses-paid trips to Eastern Europe, Asia and Africa, although he had negotiated her down to every second summer; no way was he spending every summer without Teddy, and he didn't want to take Teddy with him, either.

Andromeda eyed him suspiciously, torn between her natural distrust of him and her longing to get an even better deal out of him, before deciding it was the best that she was going to get – and it was better then she had hoped for. "Deal," she said. "But Remus? If you're ever so indiscreet again, I'll kill you myself. Then I won't have to worry about a custody battle."

Which was her way of telling him that in future, she expected him to be discreet enough about his dalliances that she wouldn't hear about it.

* * *

><p>"Healer Tonks? It's important that you come down to the lobby. It's someone claiming to be your grandson's uncle."<p>

Andromeda frowned. Her daughter had been an only child, as was her son-in-law – at least in the biological sense. Although she was extremely fond of Charlie Weasley – if she couldn't have had him as a son-in-law, than uncle by marriage to Lupin's pack-sister was the next best thing. But marriage was hardly on the cards, which only left one possible answer – that this 'uncle' was one of Lupin's mob. And while she had to concede that Lupin and Tess were remarkably civilised for werewolves – hell, she had no issue with him beyond the fact he'd gotten her daughter pregnant which had left her in a weakened state that had made her easy pickings for her sister – the same couldn't be said for many others of their kind. And Fenrir Greyback, their sire, was a particularly vicious werewolf. Andromeda didn't want anyone he'd sired anywhere near her grandson.

Despite herself, she shivered when she saw the claimant. He had that feral look that Greyback had acquired in the last years of his life, the result of feeding all month long which had left him in a partially transformed state year round. She was suddenly glad that Lupin had Teddy; no way would this _creature_ dare to breech the security at Hogwarts. "Who are you?" she asked coolly.

"Fenrir Greyback," he announced promptly.

"Ah... Junior," she said contemptuously. His most notorious sired werewolf, he had taken on his sire's name – and feeding habits.

"I want to see my nephew," Junior said, clearly stung by the reference.

Andromeda shivered. Lupin hadn't been popular among werewolves since the end of the war, having killed one of Voldemort's most vicious foot soldiers. No doubt Junior wanted revenge through Teddy. She calmly recited a wordless, wandless curse that sent deep gashes across Junior's chest. He howled in agony. "If I see you again, I will kill you," she promised.

She was shaking badly when Lupin arrived soon after. "Where's Teddy?" she demanded.

"I left him with Minerva. Given the circumstances, I figured you wouldn't want him leaving Hogwarts." Andromeda nodded tersely. "What happened?"

Andromeda explained briefly. "I think he wants revenge on you," she said. "You did kill his sire."

"He'd have gone after Dora. I did kind of steal Tess from him." Lupin started pacing. "I wish you'd have killed him. OK, Hogwarts and this place are well-protected enough that he won't get through. You might want to up the security on your place, though."

Andromeda nodded. "If I were you, I'd be concerned about Tess," she said. "If he wants revenge on you and can't get to Teddy, he'll go after her."

Lupin shivered. "I hadn't thought of that. And if he's anything like Greyback, the fact she's his sister won't discourage him. Maybe it will even encourage him. God, why won't these creatures just leave me the hell alone?" he asked. "Greyback deserved everything he got."

* * *

><p>"By all accounts, I think Andy scared him off," Lupin said. "But I want you to up your security. If he's anything like Greyback – "<p>

Tess shivered, remembering what Greyback had done to her. "I'll never forget what he did to me," she said in a small voice.

"Charlie says you have nightmares," Lupin said, concerned.

She turned her head away, embarrassed that Charlie had witnessed such a thing – and gone blabbing to Lupin, who had plenty of other things to worry about right now. "Remind me not to let him stay over again," she said, scowling.

"He cares about you a great deal, Tess. More than most of our kind _get_ to have people care about us."

"He's a pureblood, Remus. I would never have gotten his parents approval."

"Molly accepted Fleur eventually, she would have accepted you."

Tess shrugged. "He has to go back to Romania eventually. We both knew it wouldn't last." Besides, after all he had done for her, she couldn't exactly leave her brother when he needed her.

* * *

><p>Tess gripped the headboard, the reinforced steel frame that had been Charlie's idea after she had broken it in a fit of passion. Completely naked, Charlie was eating her out with a vigour. He genuinely loved giving her pleasure, and didn't push her to return the favour. She reached down to grab his hair – she loved how he kept it a little long, giving her something to get a grip on. "Charlie!" she cried out, writhing on the bed as her boyfriend went down on her.<p>

_Boyfriend?_ she wondered. _Slip of the tongue, so to speak_. "Oh – _God_ – Charlie, _let me come_. _Please..._"

"I love it when you beg me," Charlie said with a cheeky grin when he obliged her with an orgasm. He kneeled between her legs and started kissing her as he eased himself inside her. "I can't believe how hot you make me," he murmured. He bit his lip to stop from blurting out his real feelings. Tess discouraged him from speaking about his deep feelings for her.

The fact was, he was crazy about her. He looked forward to seeing her when he wasn't with her, and it broke his heart when she had her nightmares. He knew she got a lot of unwanted male attention – it turned out Junior was the least of her problems – by men who saw her as less than an animal, someone whose alleged promiscuity was something to take full advantage of, without treating her with one iota of respect. It broke his heart to know that she could be so badly mistreated and they couldn't do anything about it. He wanted to take care of her, but she didn't seem likely to let him. "Tess," he cried out. "Ahhh – my love – _Tess_..."

He curled up next to her after they were finished. He loved holding her, feeling her higher body temperature and faster heart rate and – "Tess?" he asked.

"Mmm?"

"I was thinking... we should get married."

"Pardon?"

"We should get married," Charlie repeated.

"Er... _why_?"

"I want to take care of you," Charlie said. "I've looked into it. I'd have certain rights as your husband that you don't have on your own."

"Excuse me?" Tess asked coolly, and Charlie knew he'd blundered.

"Well – I just mean – I have a right to redress if something of mine is violated," he explained. "It's an Azkaban offense to rape another man's wife. There's no crime in raping Tess Green – at least, none that you can prosecute for. There's plenty a crime in raping Tess Weasley."

"So what, now you're my keeper?" she asked, stung by Charlie's sense of obligation. She supposed she should be flattered that he cared about her so much, but _really_? _That_ was his proposal?

"I didn't say that."

"I can take care of myself, Charlie."

"No, you can't. I know you're strong, but not even you can fight a group attack. It keeps me up at night, Tess. I want to take care of you."

"I don't need you to take care of me, and I can't believe this is your idea of taking care of me."

She got out of bed. "What are you doing?" Charlie asked.

"Getting dressed and going out. I expect you to be gone by the time I get back."

"Tess, don't be like this. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way it came out. I – "

He started to tell her that he loved her, but Tess cut him off. "_Don't,_" she said. "I don't want to hear it. This is _exactly_ why I didn't want to get involved with you. I'm just a half-breed that needs looking after to you."

"That's not – "

"_Stop it!_" she screamed at him. She was more upset than she cared to admit that Charlie's concern for her only extended to keeping her safe. She had discouraged him from revealing his feelings for her, only to discover that he _didn't_ have any feelings for her. OK, so he was attracted to her and felt a sense of obligation to her, but he didn't love her the way she'd secretly hoped he did. "_Just – stop it!_"

Charlie was genuinely puzzled at to why Tess was reacting the way she had. Sure, it hadn't been the most romantic of proposals – he should have been upfront about his feelings for her – but it didn't warrant her reacting like this. "Tess, c'mon baby." He went to embrace her and she pushed him away violently.

"Go back to Romania," she said bitterly. "I don't want to see you again."

And she charged off into the night.

* * *

><p>"Your kind aren't welcome here," a snarling voice startled Tess from behind – so snarling that she couldn't have done such as good voice.<p>

"I have just as much right to be here as anyone else," Tess said coolly. She was drunk and a little intimidated by this guy. She hadn't yet gotten used to the open hostility that some people demonstrated towards her... especially when it was coupled with obvious appreciation for her stunning fair looks. She had gone to a pub in Knockturn Alley to drown her sorrows. Except she wasn't having much luck. She was deeply heartsore over Charlie's sense of obligation. Though she'd rather die than admit it, she had developed feelings for him and had deep down nursed a hope that those feelings were returned.

It was just about closing time. She got up to leave; the man followed her. She realised too late that he was part of a group of men – none of whom looking friendly. Sick to her stomach with dread, she went for her wand but her reflexes were off because of how much she'd had to drink. And worse, Charlie had been right; she had superhuman strength, but not enough to defend herself against a group attack.

She found herself shoved against a wall, her wand snatched out of her hand, at least two men holding her down. "I told you, your kind aren't welcome here," the first man snarled again. He shoved his hand under her shirt, fondling her breast roughly. "I hear your kind like it rough... and plentiful," he jeered.

"No..." she moaned. She closed her eyes, trying to clear her head, and almost fell down from the dizziness. No, this couldn't be happening, she thought as she felt fingers forcing themselves down her pants...

* * *

><p>"I came as soon as I heard," Charlie said. "I'm so, so sorry. If I hadn't picked a fight with her, she never would have left," he blathered.<p>

Lupin stared blankly at Charlie. "I've got no idea what you're talking about," he said.

Charlie felt another stab of guilt. Lupin was already dealing with the loss of his wife, now he had to go through watching someone else he cared about barely cling onto life. "I asked her to marry me and made a complete hash of it. She walked out on me. She should have been with me and not out there drowning her sorrows. It's all my fault."

"No, it's all _their_ fault," Lupin growled. "She doesn't deserve this – contrary to what some people think. I know you care about her."

"I made it sound like I was doing her a favour. I couldn't just tell her I loved her, I had to make it sound like I had an obligation to her."

Lupin looked at him in surprised. "I knew you liked her," he said. "I didn't realise you loved her. But then, sometimes it's hard to believe that we _can_ be loved."

"I love her to absolute distraction," Charlie said sadly. "I can't believe anyone could be so callous. She's in so much pain. Why didn't they just kill her?" Her injuries were substantial enough that her healing ability couldn't wholly take care of it – she was now in a kind of trance.

"Maybe they didn't realise you need silver to do any permanent damage... or maybe they did and _wanted_ her to be in this much pain." Lupin watched as Charlie threaded his fingers through Tess's. "You're good for her," he said approvingly.

"She's good for me. You know, when I first heard about you and Tonks, I didn't understand what she saw in you. I mean, you were so much older than her and her parents were so disapproving... but then I met Tess and it didn't matter that she was younger than me or a werewolf. I just wanted to be with her. I made up any excuse I could to see her. Even when she held me at arm's length, I wasn't discouraged. I had to be with her. I was driven. When you fall for someone, you fall for them, and there's nothing you can do about it."

Lupin looked intently at Charlie. He had been possessive of Tonks and disliked the man visiting her. But hearing Charlie speak about Tess made him realise the man had never had those kinds of feelings for his wife. "You can visit her, if you want," he said.

Charlie smiled sadly. "Thanks, but Tess is just as jealous as you. I don't want to incur her wrath over someone who's just a friend."

* * *

><p>"Oh, thankgod. We were so worried about you."<p>

"We?" Tess asked. She struggled to sit up and winced from the pain in her side.

"Charlie and I. Take it easy. They really did a number on you. If you were human, they would have killed you."

The memory hit her like a flash. Being grabbed, being disarmed, having their vicious manhood forced inside her, tearing her apart. She ached everywhere, but particularly inside her when they had violated her. "They raped me," she said pitifully. "I don't remember how many of them – Charlie warned me..."

"Your man is crazy about you," Lupin said. "He's been here every day. He's so remorseful, he blames himself."

"Blame – himself – _why_?" Lupin explained. "He didn't have to offer to marry me," she said bitterly. "I'm not some charity case."

"He doesn't think of you as a charity case, love," Lupin said. "He really loves you. I saw the way he looks at you and I was completely over my territorial feelings. He doesn't have room in his heart for anyone else. You're _it_. Look, he even brought his bear over," he said, gesturing to the ratty-looking stuffed bear next to her that had clearly received a lot of love. "And gave you his robes." He had wrapped her up in one of his old Gryffindor robes; it was miles too big for her, but it only looked charming, the patient in her boyfriend's cloak. "Marry him, Tess. He doesn't care about your being a werewolf or nineteen. He _does_ care about you. Marry him and go to Romania and be _happy_. Please don't make the same mistake I did with Dora. None of us knows how much time we have left with the people we love."

* * *

><p>"Thankyou so much for this," Charlie gushed a few weeks later. After Tess had accepted his proposal, Charlie had insisted they get married as soon as she was well enough to eave St. Mungo's. He was a little scared that she had accepted his proposal out of fear and would try to get out of it once she was in a calmer frame of mind. As it was, she had refused to wear his mother's ring, saying it was pointless for her to have a family heirloom when they wouldn't be having a family. Better to give it to Percy, George or Ron when the time came.<p>

His fears were ill-founded. Tess was glowing with newlywed happiness. Watching her, he couldn't believe he had gotten this gorgeous, intelligent young woman to marry him. _Him!_

"Anything to make my sister happy," Lupin said. And Tess _did_ look happy. There was no denying that she and Charlie were good together.

"I'm going to miss you. And Teddy," Tess said regretfully.

"You'd better come back to visit," Lupin said. No way would Andromeda allow him to take Teddy to Romania. He shifted Teddy on his hip. "Say goodbye to your aunt and new uncle," he said. "Bye-bye."

"Buh," Teddy said. Lupin wasn't sure if he knew what he was saying or was merely repeating his father.

"I always wanted Charlie for a son-in-law," Andromeda said later. "But failing that, an uncle for Teddy is the next best thing."

"Careful, Andy. I might start to think you approve."

Andromeda chuckled. "You're a good dad," she said grudgingly. "I only wish Dora was around to enjoy this."

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I miss her every day," he said. "I dream about her at night. Sometimes so vividly that when I wake up I have to remember all over again. There's this massive ache in my chest that nothing can take away."

Andromeda nodded. It was how she felt about Ted. "You do love her," she noted.

"I wouldn't have married her if I didn't," he said. "And God, what I'd give to have her back."


	3. Chapter 3

Lupin looked up from his firewhisky when he heard a series of wolf-whistles from the entrance of The Edge of the World, a French bar so named because it was balanced on the edge of a cliff the overlooked an often stormy Atlantic Ocean. It was a popular hangout for Dark Creatures and Magical Beings who, through choice or necessity, felt more at home than in the more 'civilised' taverns of Europe.

So for a woman attractive and stylishly dressed enough to invoke the whistling meant she had probably stumbled in here by accident. Or taken it upon herself to embrace an edgier life without a clue of what she was getting herself into. The Dark Creatures of the world had seen too many of their own attacked – and worse – by so-called 'civilised' witches and wizards to resist returning the favour when it came walking through their doors.

Lupin was tempted to leave the girl to her fate – his own pack sister had been gang-raped for being both gorgeous and deemed to have less rights than a pet dog – before deciding he couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try. These were his people, and his understood their resentment towards non-full humans, but he saw nothing accomplished by an 'eye for an eye' attitude. He got up to see if he could intercede for this misguided girl.

When he saw who it was, he was glad he had made the effort. "Good Lord, Ginny," he said, astounded at her lack of good sense... and dressed in such fine clothes that no-one could doubt she came from a quality family. Her vibrant red hair was brushed to a state of flowing fire, and she was dressed in a luxurious red robe with gold threads woven through it. No doubt what she was wearing underneath was just as fine. As the youngest, she had inherited the lion's share of her parents estate, which had included much of the forfeited Malfoy fortune. (Or, rather, Bill, Charlie, Percy and George had all been doing well enough for themselves that they saw no reason to claim any of it.) And she had grown into a stunning twenty-one-year-old. Between her affluence, youth and beauty, she was asking for trouble.

She smiled when she saw him. "Remus!" she called pleasedly. "What a surprise!"

"I spent every second summer travelling," he said. Then, "You. Are. An. Idiot. Looking like you do in a Dark Creatures bar? What, you woke up this morning and decided it was a fine day to be gang-raped?"

"Of course not." She shivered. "Really? But I haven't done anything."

"You're a beautiful young woman who reeks of fullblood. Here," he said, waving his wand over her robe so it turned dark red, almost black in this dim light.

"Remus! What are you doing?"

"Making you look not so ostentatious. Do you know how dangerous it is for you to be here, without male companionship? Everyone can tell that you're not one of us." He turned to the crowd and said something in French. "You may as well stay here now, I'm too drunk and too tired to send you home."

"You make me feel so wanted," Ginny said sarcastically. Lupin gave her a pointed look. "OK, OK, I'll stay." Although she would rather die than admit it, she was glad her former professor was here. She could tell by the way they all backed off that he was someone they all respected. "What did you say to them?" she asked.

"I told them you were my companion," he said. She blushed when she realised what he meant. "Believe me, it's much better than them thinking you're a free agent. Werewolves' women aren't people you want to mess with. We're among the most territorial creatures in the world. But don't worry, I'm not asking you to actually _be_ my companion. Though I assure you, you'd rather spend the night with me than with _them_."

"Er – thanks."

"Thanks for my quick-thinking or the fact I'm not asking you to pay up for it?"

"Both."

"You're welcome."

They sat down with a decanter of firewhisky. "What possessed you to come to a place like this?" he asked. "I don't mean to chide you, Gin, but you could have gotten into a lot of trouble if I hadn't been here."

"I'm so goddamn sick of being treated like a child," she complained. "Hermione's only a year older than me and she insists that we only go to boring, _safe_ places. She can't exactly talk – she did all that stuff in seventh year."

Lupin laughed. "I hardly think a year spent chasing Horcruxes and fighting Death Eaters was her idea of _fun_. But... you do sort of have a point," he conceded. "People tend to underestimate how strong you can be. You went through a lot. Everyone did. I'm seeing a toughness in my students that wasn't there when I last taught. And in my first-years who were six at the time of the war. At the very least, I think it will take until the school is entirely made up of students born _after_ ninety-eight to see that innocence fully return."

"And you plan on seeing that?"

"Why not? I'm only forty-two and that's only twelve years away. I've no idea what my lifespan is, but it has to be at least that of a human. And I get less and less hate mail each year, so it's not like I'm going to be ousted at this point. But don't distract me. Ginny, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't take risks like this, expose yourself to people like this."

"People like _you_," she pointed out.

"These are my people, yes. I might not agree with some of their ideas but I do understand them. And they've seen too many of their own abused by so-called 'civilised' humans not to do the same when one walks into their midst... especially one who looks as wealthy and gorgeous as you. You'd've been lucky to survive the night."

Ginny shivered at that, more from the look in his eyes and the tone in his voice than his words. "But why – what have I ever done to them?"

"You, personally? Nothing. Full humans on half-breeds and Dark Creatures in general? Unspoken atrocities. You know Tess has been gang-raped," Lupin said flatly.

Ginny's eyes went wide at that; she wasn't aware of the full reasons for Charlie and Tess's marriage. "But – she's so strong – I've seen her flip Charlie like he's a doll!"

"That's true, she's got a werewolf's strength. There isn't a human who can take her on. But there's only so much she can fight before she's overpowered. And because she's both beautiful and Dark Creature, she's considered by many to be owed less consideration than a family pet. Certainly less than a house-elf – you have to deal with the consequences of no help if you hurt your house-elf too badly. I'm sorry, I wish I didn't have to tell you things like this. But maybe it will help you understand. We aren't all bad people... but we've had bad things to us and that makes us inclined to take vengeance on someone who walks into our midst looking like you. I don't agree to it, but I understand it."

"Then... I'm grateful for your interference," Ginny said.

"Well, you're here now, so you may as well stay. I could do with the company. And you look terrific. Money and single life suits you."

She blushed at that. She had dated intermittently since breaking up with Harry, but no-one she was crazy about. "It wasn't meant to be," she said. "We tried for a year but we just couldn't connect with one another. It was like we were on different wavelengths. We make for better friends."

"You know, I always saw you with someone older... like, Bill's age. Maybe it was being the youngest and being around men older than you that made you more mature, but I never saw you with someone your own age... or close enough."

She smiled. "I always thought that too. I've mostly been – er – _involved_ with older men and... I _like_ being around them. I only wish I had a connection with any of them – a real connection. But maybe I'm asking for something that only exists in fairy tales."

He resisted the urge to take her hand. "It doesn't, I promise. I fought Dora for so long _because_ we had that kind of connection. If I'd thought we didn't, I would have fucked her a few times until she got bored with the idea. Sorry, that sound _really_ crass, I forgot I was in more polite company."

"It's fine," Ginny said. "It's... actually romantic. That you stayed away because you knew you had that kind of connection. To be honest, it was – er – fucking Harry a few times that made me realise we _didn't_. I used to lie next to him waiting for something to happen."

He laughed at that. "I used to lie next to her wishing it would go away. Now I wish I could have it back. I'm an indecisive creature if ever there was one."

"So there's been no improvement?" she asked.

He shook his head sadly. "She's the same – and there's not much hope of that changing now. It's been four-and-a-half-years. Most people come out of something like this within a few months... or not at all."

"I'm so sorry."

"I appreciate that, Ginny, I really do. But I don't want to talk about that tonight. I was enjoying myself before and I plan on enjoying myself even more now that I have an attractive young woman to share my drinks with." He smiled weakly and it was obvious that he was trying to be friendly... even flirtatious.

The night wore on and the firewhisky flowed. Lupin found himself enjoying himself more than he had in a long time. These were his people, and he understood them – and more importantly, _they_ understood _him_ – in a way that full-humans never would, but that didn't mean he didn't miss the company of civilised, educated people. Especially when they were as open-minded as Ginny.

In the early hours of the morning, he thought it was best if he put her to bed. "You can have my bed," he offered her. It was way too dangerous to try Appirating in their state, and besides, he didn't particularly care to have Hermione's wrath brought down on him for retuning Ginny in this condition.

She giggled. "It's been a while since anyone said that to me, Remus," she said.

"I didn't mean _share_ my bed," he amended, not sure if she was making a joke or had misunderstood him. He felt an odd pang over the fact that if she _had_ misunderstood him, she didn't seem all that revolted by the idea. He could hear Tess's voice in his head: _and why should she be? Charlie's crazy about me. Should it really be _that_ much of a surprise that another Weasley is crazy about _you_?_

_Charlie's only seven years older than you_, he argued back, before he realised what he was doing. _Good Lord, I'm having an imaginary conversation with my sister about an issue that doesn't even exist._

He loaned her a shirt and pants – badly resized – for her to sleep in. "Sorry, I've never been good at alteration charms."

"It's fine. I appreciate you doing this for me." She sat on the edge of the bed, thinking about what Lupin had said about Tess. "Would they really have raped me?" she asked.

"If I hadn't been there, probably," he admitted. "What they did to Tess was horrendous. I'm not saying it excuses them but it really is giving as good as they get... maybe worse, because we're stronger. But don't worry about that now. I'll keep you safe."

She grinned ruefully at him. "My knight in shining armour."

"Don't look at me like that, Ginny, or I may just reneg on the non-payment thing. And I assure you, I know how to fuck."

Ginny nearly poked her tongue out at Lupin, then decided that that might be a little too flirtatious. "Goodnight, Remus."

"Night, Ginny."

He watched her sleeping for a little bit before he felt himself nodding off. He was frightened to think what might have happened had he not been there. It could be a cruel world and Ginny was a vulnerable target. He had never been able to forget what had been done to Tess; he didn't want to see that happen to someone else he cared about.

"Ginny, I've been thinking," Lupin said the next day. "How would you like to travel with me?"

"Pardon?"

"I don't want to see you get hurt, exposing yourself to people and places like this. If you travel with me, you'll have the protection of the best DADA Professor from the finest magical school in the world. If you want to see the darker side of the magical community, then please at least let me protect you. I once promised I'd look after you. Don't make a liar of me now."

Ginny didn't have to think about it for long. Her safe, boring holiday with Hermione, or an exciting tour of Europe with a phenomenally gifted bodyguard and tutor. It was a no-brainer. "Oooh, Remus, I'd _love_ to!" she squealed with excitement.

"There's just one condition."

"What?"

"I tell people you're my companion. People will respect that out of fear, no-one will touch you. Obviously, I don't intend on going through with it but we will have to keep up appearances from time to time. I'll understand if you can't abide by that."

"I don't mind," she said. Then, "wait – am I _that_ repulsive?"

Lupin laughed. "Hardly. But you're young enough to be my daughter and Andy would kill me if she caught me with anyone other than a prostitute. Sorry, I shouldn't tell you stuff like that."

"It's fine. I mean, this is your world, I'll have to get used to it. So – you don't see Sarah Callahan anymore?"

"Hardly. She was furious with me. And she's not the kind of girl I'd settle down with, even if I _was_ free to do so. It's easier for me to use prostitutes. They know the score and don't ask for anything from me other than money. And Andy gets that I have needs – if I'm going to cheat on Dora, she prefers that I keep it on a professional level. My relationship with Sarah was a mistake. And believe it or not, there are far classier and well-educated prostitutes than Sarah."

Ginny grinned. "I could believe that. She was with, like, half the boys in our year."

"I could believe that. It actually used to drive her nuts that I didn't care. Werewolves are prone to jealousy. But when I was with her – well, she _could_ have fucked half the boys in her year and it wouldn't have bothered me. Whereas with Dora it took me a long time to give Charlie permission to visit her because I kept thinking of them in bed together and it made me want to kill him, I'd get so jealous."

"Sounds... romantic," Ginny said wistfully, half-wishing that _she_ had someone who was so crazy about her. "You must miss her so much."

"Every day. So how about it, Gin? Do you want to come with me? I'm warning you, it's not all pub stays. I camp a lot. It'll be rougher than what you're used to."

"I can handle rough, Remus. I'm tougher than I look."

"That you are. And I want you to let Hermione know that you're going. Don't tell her you're with me, just let her know you're alright."

* * *

><p>Ginny was exhilarated. She had never had so much fun in her life. Lupin was an even better tour guide than he was a professor, which was really saying something. He took her exploring through enchanted forests, introduced her to creatures she'd only read about in books, had her mingling with vampires and banshees. And she never felt afraid for her safety; since Lupin had pointed it out, she had become more aware of how much his reputation preceded him. He was a first-class bodyguard and tutor.<p>

And she didn't even mind the occasional keeping up of appearances to maintain the story that she was his companion. Like right now, in a bar in a forest in Slovakia, he had his hand on her thigh, casually resting in a display of ownership, telling everyone there that she was his girl and not to be touched. She could feel the heat from his hand through her tight leather pants – pants Lupin had suggested she buy in keeping up with her cover of being a werewolf's girl. She was loving this liberated imagine she was projecting – even if it _was_ just a projection.

He was aware of the envious looks he was getting from other patrons, and was secretly pleased. The more risqué clothes – combined with her own liberated attitude – generated a certain heat that she certainly hadn't possessed at Hogwarts – or even on the evening she had walked into Edge of the World. "No man in the place could keep his eyes off you," Lupin informed her when they retired for the evening.

Ginny blushed at that. "It's just the clothes," she insisted.

"It's not just the clothes, Gin, it's _you_. You have something pretty unique going on. If I wasn't married..."

She giggled. "Yeah?" she asked.

"Let's just say I'm sure I know plenty more than Harry did when he was seventeen." Ginny gasped at that; there was something in the way Lupin had said it that made her wonder just how worldly he was. He had made no secret on having been an eager student of prostitutes; how much did he know about pleasuring women? "Enough that I made Dora very happy... and she didn't even like it rough," Lupin said, sensing her thoughts.

"Really? How – er – rough is rough?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Come here," he said softly, firmly, in a tone that she couldn't disobey. He wrestled her onto the bed, her body pinned between his and the mattress, his hands over hers, holding her down. He kissed her hard, applying pressure to her head, his tongue snaking into her mouth, demanding she kiss him back. She resisted his hold only to find him pressing down harder – and she didn't exactly dislike it.

She had never been kissed like this before – hard, demanding, giving. "Remus," she groaned in the split second she freed her mouth from his before he reclaimed it.

Lupin wasn't sure what had possessed him to kiss Ginny, let alone _continue_ kissing her, but he did. It had been so long since he had kissed a woman he wasn't paying – since Sarah Callahan – and somehow that wasn't the same. Ginny, some part of his mind distantly realised, was someone he could fall in love with. He shifted on top of her so he was putting his weight on his knees. "Remus," she said again.

"_Remus," Tonks said, pleading with him to stay. "I _love_ you. Think about our child_._" She took his hands and placed it on her stomach. He was momentarily reminded of what he had committed to, then he recoiled in disgust with himself._

"_I love you too," he admitted. "That's why I'm leaving. I made a mistake in marry you. Get an abortion and get an annulment. You'll be happier in the long run, you'll see."_

Lupin jerked back at the memory of his wife, begging him to stay. It had been over four years since he had last seen her conscious, but he still loved her. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I don't know what came over me." He scrambled off the bed in a very undignified fashion. "I'm – er – going for a walk. Keep the security spells up while I'm gone, OK?" And before she knew it, he was gone.

She watched the closed door behind him, baffled by his behaviour. First, he was kissing her like there was no-one else in the world for him, and then he was beating a hasty retreat. He must have remembered Tonks, she realised, and felt oddly deflated by the knowledge. You didn't just kiss someone like that who you weren't attracted to, and yet... she remembered him talking about his affair with Sarah Callahan. He had nothing to offer a decent woman of good upbringing so his only options were prostitutes or women like Sarah.

And yet, if that's what he was like as a kisser, if he was similarly talented as a lover, then she could understand why Sarah had been so upset when he had called it off.

She sucked on her bottom lip, tasting where he'd kissed her. She was sorry now that she had goaded him into kissing her; she knew it wasn't something she was about to forget.

"Sorry about what happened before," Lupin said. "Sometimes when I'm around you I forget that I'm married." He twisted his wedding ring around his finger nervously. "I shouldn't drink so much when I'm with you."

"Remus, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm flattered."

"You shouldn't be. Look, can we just forget this ever happened?" he pleaded.

"If that would make you feel better," she said.

"It would," he said resolutely, and she wanted to reach out to him, tell him that it was OK to like her company, even be attracted to her... but she sensed it would only make things worse.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?" Ginny asked, startling Lupin out of his reverie and making him drop the syringe. A fortnight had passed. They had both been determined to put their kiss behind them – Lupin, because he felt ashamed for letting it happen, and Ginny to ease his sense of shame. If nothing else, she didn't want to be sent back to London because he didn't want to be around him. She was having the time of her life with him as bodyguard and protector.<p>

"Ah, shit, Gin, warn me next time you're going to sneak up on me," Lupin said, retrieving the syringe. At least he didn't have to worry about any germs the syringe may have picked up by being on the filthy floor; his healing ability would take care of that.

"What's the point of sneaking up on you if I warn you?" she pointed out logically. "What are you doing?" she asked again.

"Wolfsbane. I thought you were a smart girl and could follow a calendar," he grunted.

"And _I_ thought it was a potion you drank."

"It was. There've been breakthroughs in Wolfsbane. This way it goes straight into my bloodstream, which makes it more concentrated, which means I don't actually transform. _Surely_ Charlie mentioned something over the last four years he's been married to a werewolf?"

"Er... maybe. Sorry, I don't pay these things the attention I should," she said, recoiling at the snappishness in his voice.

"No, I'm sorry. It's better this way, but the effects hit me worse. I always get crabby for a couple of hours after I take it."

"Really?" she asked, and he couldn't help but smile. She was genuinely interested in the mechanisms of Wolfsbane without passing the least bit of judgement on his need for it.

"It's about as nutritious to the human side of me as a litre of vinegar... and the wolf in me is howling at being repressed. I prefer it this way but it's not without its consequences. Besides, surely you didn't think I was going to take you with me when I was out of action for three nights of the month?"

"I... no," she admitted. She watched, fascinated as he pushed down on the syringe and a putrid-looking off-green substance found its way into his arm. "I don't think about things like that," she admitted. But even as she said it, she was suddenly aware of how pale he looked. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Like the human part of me wants to throw my guts up and the wolf part of me wants out."

"Poor man. Here, come and lie down." She led Lupin, almost child-like, to the bed and eased him onto his back, sliding his head onto her lap.

"Ginny, you don't have to do this," Lupin mumbled.

"Let me take care of you like you've been taking care of me," she said, beginning to stroke his hair. His higher-than-average body temperature made his scalp warm to touch.

"That feels nice," he admitted.

"I used to comfort my first-years when I was Head Girl," she said. "Some of them were so traumatised."

"I heard you were good with them. Mmmm," he purred contentedly, nuzzling his head against her thigh. "Oh, yes, like that," he said when she scraped her nails across his scalp.

"Better than toughing it out on your own?" she teased.

"Much. Thankyou."

"Anytime." She felt Lupin's breath become deeper and more regular as he drifted off to sleep, and she was flattered that she could calm him like this. She felt a certain kinship with him that she hadn't felt with anyone, not even Harry.

* * *

><p>"Remus, I don't know why we have to walk," Ginny complained. "Just because <em>you<em> can't fly for shit."

"Just because _you_ were too lazy to walk anywhere and now you're paying for it," Lupin returned good-naturedly. "And I can too fly, thankyouverymuch." The fact was, werewolves had a superhuman sense of balance on two feet – and a less-than-stellar one on a broom. "The woods are too dense to try Appirating, and really, not even your brother could fly through this for the same reason. It's easier to walk. Besides, you'll be grateful when we get there."

Now they were hiking through woods in Hungary and Ginny's feet were aching. "This had better be worth it," she complained.

Eventually they arrived at a spring. "Oh, good, I wasn't sure it was here," he said, relieved.

"What – you dragged me all the way out here not even knowing it was here?" Ginny asked indignantly. "What would you have done if it _hadn't_ been?"

Lupin shrugged. "Dealt with that if it happened. Besides, naiad springs are notoriously difficult to find."

"Naiad?"

"Water nymphs. They're very secretive. You need serious knowledge of magical creatures to find a naiad spring. I thought it would be a nice change from dragging you around the place looking for dark creatures and poisonous plants."

"You haven't dragged me anywhere, Remus. I've enjoyed it."

"Nonetheless, I think you'll enjoy this. Look, can you see?"

Ginny gasped in delight when she saw one of the magical creatures shoot out of the water and dive back in gracefully. "It's beautiful," she breathed. There was something so serene and beautiful about this place.

"They like to show off. Glad you came now?" She nodded vigorously, too enthralled by the beauty in front of her to be capable of speech. "I brought lunch," he said. "And dinner, if we stay too late to make it worth going back until the morning. I'm warning you, I'm not too good at reheating food, so it's better off cold, but there's plenty of it."

"How come I never see you eating red meat?" she asked as she tore into a cold roast chicken leg. "Mmmm, this is delicious."

"Because I like it raw – like, _actual_ raw, not rare or anything like that – and it's pretty gross if you aren't a werewolf. I don't eat around you. And thankyou – I'm not a bad cook, especially given I don't have the best of facilities to work with. How's your feet?" he asked solicitously, feeling a little bad for making fun of her now. Just because she had the Weasley knack for flying that he never would...

"A little sore," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to whinge before. You're right, I'm lazy. I'd rather fly than walk."

He chuckled. "I'm just jealous because I wish I could fly like you," he admitted. "Here, do you mind?" he asked, reaching for her hiking-booted foot. He undid the laces with speed and grace; she was always enthralled to watch him work with his hands. He pushed his fingers into the sole of her bare foot. "Wow, you really _are_ sore," he marvelled. "Sorry, I forget that not everyone does as much walking as I do."

"It's OK. It's worth it. There's a spell for that," she said, a little weakly, because what Lupin was doing to her foot was wonderful, much nicer than any healing spell.

"I know. But I've done a little research into the therapeutic powers of touch. There's so much we can learn from muggle medicine. Even Andy's started getting into it. When Teddy first started teething, there was no spell or potion I dared try in him with enough power that wouldn't endanger someone that small. The only thing that would soothe him was holding him." He tickled the sole of her foot experimentally.

With a shriek, she pulled her foot back out of his reach. "Remus, no!" she squealed.

Laughing, he reached for her foot again. "Come back, I promise to stop tickling you," he said seriously. Reluctantly, because she didn't quite trust him but liked what he had been doing before he'd started tickling her, she inched her foot forward to him, and as promised, he only continued with her massage. She closed her eyes and murmured her appreciation. "Lie back, if you want," he offered her, which she did.

He felt the tense muscles in her feet ease up under his ministrations, but it was clear that she was enjoying herself, so he didn't stop. He also knew that he was walking a very fine line, but he couldn't help himself. There was something enthralling about being with Ginny. Not only was she intelligent with a thirst for knowledge that rivalled his own, but she truly didn't care that he was a werewolf.

They ended up camping out. Lupin lit a fire and they sat by it, talking easy over steaming cups of tea. "I'm really glad you're here," Lupin said. "It gets a little lonely, travelling on my own."

She found herself blushing at the compliment. "I haven't exactly done badly out of this myself," she said, smiling flirtatiously. "I think you've spoilt me for dating again. Who wants boys after being with you?"

"I could say the same about you," he said. "I doubt I'm going to be happy with the company of prostitutes after I've been with you. Er – I didn't mean that how it came out," he amended. "I wasn't comparing you."

"I doubt I could compare to someone with that kind of experience," she said flippantly, torn between her feelings. On the one hand, she was highly complimented that he enjoyed her company so much that, like her, others paled in comparison, but on the other, well, no girl liked being compared to a prostitute.

"It's not hard to learn if you want to," Lupin said huskily, knowing that this wasn't something they should be discussing but not being able to help himself. "A talent at something is maybe twenty percent ability, forty percent desire to learn and forty percent a decent tutor. If Neville can find the motivation to become enough of a student and mentor to become a teacher himself, then you can certainly learn – er – if you wanted to. Most of it's here," he said, impulsively placing his hand over her heart.

She felt her breath become very shallow at such an intimate touch – and such intimate words. And all her repressed attraction to him came to the fore. He was so much older than her, but his very age gave him a maturity and sophistication that she had never known in a man before – at least, not well. At least, not when they weren't Bill or Charlie. He was intelligent and had a deep sense of honour and she felt safe around him. Safe... but stimulated.

She kissed him. It was as good as their impromptu kiss a few weeks ago – better, even, because she knew what was coming and even so, it was better than the anticipation. The feel of his mouth on hers, the smell of him... she shifted into his lap, and he instinctively assisted her so she was effortlessly in his arms.

He breathed in heavily, taking in the smell of her. She was heavenly – and earthly at the same time, sensuously earthly in a way that no other woman he had been with was. She had an eagerness to learn coupled with an enchanting integrity. He had never doubted that she liked him for himself – not because he was something exotic and a bit dangerous, not because he had the galleons to pay for her services. He had loved being around her longer than he cared to remember, given her age. And now she was in his lap and they were kissing and it was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced.

She felt the cold metal of his wedding ring on the back of her neck and she squirmed a little. She had never quite forgotten that he was married, but she still didn't like being confronted with the physical proof. She tugged at the offending jewellery, certain that he hardly bedded prostitutes or tramps wearing it...

... Lupin felt Ginny's small fingers pulling at his wedding ring...

_He spooned his wife, the most comfortable position for her given her pregnancy. He buried his face in her shoulder – it was one of the places on her body that her unique scent was the strongest, and coupled with the sweaty, musky smell of sex could almost make him forget that there was a war going on._

_She laced her fingers through his, splayed across her swollen belly. She murmured contentedly, beyond grateful to have her husband back and in her bed – he hadn't touched her since he had found out about the pregnancy – and whispering words of love to her as he _made_ love to her. She was so happy she could cry._

_She stopped when the tips of her fingers trailed across his ring finger. She suddenly felt very deflated._

_He received her message loud and clear, although she would _never_ berate him for not wearing his ring. He knew how grateful she was that he had come back, and it was one more thing to feel guilty about. "Give me a sec, love," he said huskily. He wriggled into a sitting position and reached for his pants, pulling the plain gold band out of his pocket. "I always had it on me, if it's worth anything," he told her. He placed his hand flat on the bed, fingers splayed, and handed her the ring with his right hand._

_She slid it onto his finger and he could feel her relax to see his wedding ring where it belonged – on his finger. "I'll never take it off again," he whispered in her ear. "I promise." And he could feel her tremble as she started to cry with relief..._

The feel of Ginny's small fingers pulling at his wedding ring jolted him rudely back to reality. _Reality_? They were camping out at a beautiful, remote river populated by water nymphs. _Reality?_ It was a romantic fantasy. What in Merlin's name had he been thinking to bring her here – especially after their kiss a few weeks ago?

He pushed her away. "What are you doing?" he asked, breathing heavily because despite himself – and his supernatural physiology that allowed things like healing, let alone catching his breath, to happen in a much speedier fashion than a human – he couldn't help but be distracting by how damn distracting she was.

"Kissing you," she stated matter-of-factly.

He could taste her, and wanted to kiss her. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand – and obvious and insulting gesture that was out of character for him. Ginny felt her heart fall. "I gathered that. _Why_?"

There was something so penetrating in that look, so interrogating in his tone. "Because I wanted to," she said, almost pleadingly, because it was clear that he was already regretting it. The second she had touched his wedding ring – her heart plummeted. So _that_ was it. He had kissed her like there was no-one else in the world for her, but the second he had been reminded of his wife...

"I'm married," he reminded her flatly.

"That hasn't stopped you before," she reminded him.

"That was different."

"How?" she challenged. "You were quite happy to have an affair with someone I shared classes with."

"That was different," he repeated.

"_How_?"

"Because Sarah was – _is_ – a tramp and you're a lady from a good family."

"I love you," she blurted out. She had never thought of it like that before, but... she did. In fact, she had for a long time. First as a mentor, both as a Professor and filling some of the void left by her father's death, then as a friend as her adulthood made her more of an equal than a charge, and lately as the kind of friend and protector that every girl dreamt of having in love.

"I'm married," he repeated, too shocked by her declaration of love to say anything else.

"I don't care!" she cried.

"Well you should! I'm twenty-one years older than you, Ginny. I'm too old for you, too dangerous – "

"_Charlie_ doesn't care!"

"Tess is only seven years younger than Charlie... _and_ she wasn't married. Merlin, Ginny, what's gotten into you? You _always_ knew I can't offer a woman anything more than an illicit affair."

"_I DON'T CARE!_" Ginny screamed at him. "I don't care if all you have to offer me is – is – all you had to offer Sarah Callahan," she said, spitting out the name even as she resigned herself to the fact that any relationship with Lupin would put her on the same footing as the woman she had so detested in school. _But he would care about me more than he did her,_ Ginny took solace in reminding herself.

"Well, _I do_."

"You don't want me, then," she said flatly, despite the fact he had been kissing her passionately moments before.

He had never been good at lying. "Don't be ridiculous, Gin. You know perfectly well that I want you. And I care about you. More than I should. If I didn't, I'd rip your clothes off and take you in the dirt."

"Then if you feel that way – and you don't – then you don't really care."

He sighed heavily and sadly. "You just don't get it," he told her. "I can't offer you anything, Ginny. If you didn't mean anything to you then I could treat you like a whore. But I can't because I do. I won't do that to you."

She suddenly saw how much it was costing him to restrain himself and she threw herself into his arms, kissing him before he had the chance to dodge her. Groaning, he found himself kissing her back for a second. _Little minx_, he thought, and it took supreme effort to push her away – much more effort than it did to keep her at arm's length in the first place.

He shoved her back violently and she landed on her ass in the dirt. "You come onto me again and I'll tie you to your bed," he snapped. "I'm going to bed. I'll take you back to Paris tomorrow." And he headed towards the deceptively small tent.

He had promised her the summer. "But – "

He spun around, his green eyes flashing. "I won't keep you with me and I won't have you this far from civilised folks." It occurring to him that Ginny was just the type to go charging off in a huff, he did a re-enforcing spell around the campsite's security perimeter. Ginny was a talented witch, but she wasn't as talented as he was. "And don't think about charging off. It hurts to run into a security spell. Like a brick wall that you can't see."

Ginny seethed at the way he had blown her off. She sort of understood why he had rejected her, but that didn't take the sting out of it. And beyond that – beyond the usual sting of rejection – was something deeper. She cared about him more than she had any other man, she realised – at least in a romantic sense. It had sort of crept up on her until she had realised that she loved him and was attracted to him in a way that she had never been before.

And what made it worse was knowing that _he_ cared deeply about her, that _he_ was attracted to her. That it was because of that that he had pushed her away. It was because of that that tomorrow, he would take her back to Paris and after that, go out of his way to avoid her. If he was particularly smart about it – and he wasn't someone whose intelligence you questioned – she could very well never see him again after tomorrow.

She made her way into the tent, to her bed. Lupin had erected an opaque shield around him so she couldn't even see him, let alone go to him. She sank into bed, feeling a deeper loss than she could remember feeling – maybe because this was her first great loss as an adult, which someone made it all the more harder to bear.

She wasn't to know that in his shielded-off area of the tent, Lupin was shaking violently in an attempt to repress his emotions. It took every bit of restraint not to go to her. He could no longer deny that he was crazy about her, and if he loved her any less, he wouldn't care about the consequences of being involved with her.


	4. Chapter 4

"Tighter, Charlie, please, hold me tighter. You won't hurt me."

Charlie grunted. He was well aware that werewolves bruised and broke under the same pressure as humans – in fact, Tess being much fairer than him, her marks showed up much more obviously – she just healed faster than he did. He tightened his hold around her waist as much as he dared. He always strived to make her happy, especially around the full moon. But when she dug her fingers, even with her nails cut short, deep into his back he grunted with pain. She was acting so clingy lately, and it unsettled him deeply. He hated being distanced from his wife.

Nonetheless, he felt himself close to orgasm and buried his face in her shoulder. She swore there was something intense about the smell of his neck, the feel of his shoulder muscles working, and she was starting to convert him. But she fisted his hair and yanked up his head, kissing him hungrily. He went along with it, too far gone to care...

"Is everything OK, babe?" he asked when he lay next to her after it was over.

"Fine," she said shortly.

"Tess, if you're going to lie to me, be a bit more convincing. If this a werewolf thing or just a you-and-Remus thing? Because he can't lie for shit either. What's wrong?"

"What makes you think anything's wrong?"

"You're _never_ this clingy, not even this time of the month," Charlie said. "And you _never_ want to kiss when you're coming."

Tess scowled at him deeply, determined to change the subject. "I thought you liked kissing me," she said coolly. She slid out of bed with the grace that only a werewolf can manage and had her dressing gown wrapped around her before he could stop her.

"Tess, you know I like kissing you, don't try and make me out to be the bad guy," Charlie said resolutely. By now, he was used to Tess and her sudden swings into insecurity. Although this was different to even that. He scrambled out of bed with far less dignity than his wife, wrapping his own dressing gown around him and joining her by the large window which offered a spectacular view of the small woods that bordered their house – and the dragon-training compound in the valley below. But it wasn't the view that had won Tess over. It was the massive window meters from her bed. She had a love-hate relationship with the moon, and often found it soothing to look at when she was agitated.

Charlie wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder. He could feel the heat of her body through the thin silk. "I love you," he said quietly. He had long since discovered that quiet, soothing words of love were far more effective then talking in circles with her. "And I'm worried about you. I can feel you tossing and turning all night. I know there's something on your mind. And I hate it – because something's bothering you, and because you can't talk to me about it."

"You won't understand," she said in that _it's-a-werewolf-thing_ voice.

"Try me."

"I feel like something bad's going to happen. I feel like someone's out to get me."

Charlie tightened his arms around her protectively. It had taken Tess a long time after the attack to get over the feeling that the world was out to get her, thanks in no part to the fact that Romania was a leading country in tolerance for Dark and Dangerous Creatures. Even now, a thoughtless comment from a closed-minded person could send her spiralling down to those dark early days of her lycanthropy. "No-one's out to get you, babe," he said soothingly. "Well, apart from the usual." Even in Romania there were people who believed strongly in pureblood status. "It's been four years. The only person who's hurt you has been me... and you're usually encouraging me," he added dryly. He turned her around so she was facing him, tilting her chin so he could meet her eyes. "You've been happy here, haven't you?" he asked.

"Of course. Don't be silly, Charlie. Even before – I loved France, still do, but I didn't feel happy there like I am here... with you."

He kissed her softly. "Good," he said. "Remember that. You have nothing to worry about.

* * *

><p>Tess pottered around the house, softly singing a Romanian folk song as she baked. Lupin had a theory that his sweet tooth, which developed as he got older, was a result of his 'vegetarian' diet, his body seeking energy in another form. She had no idea how true it was, but she was finding herself craving sweets more and more as the months – and years – went by. Charlie had said, in perfect seriousness, that she was the number-one maker of Fresh pastries outside of France.<p>

"If I had known you were such a good cook, I would come sooner," a raspy voice came from the front door.

Tess spun around and dropped the baking dish she was holding when she saw her pack-brother, a werewolf that Andromeda Tonks had condescendingly named _Junior_... and the name, she had gleefully reported, had stuck. "Get the fuck out," she spat.

Junior scowled momentarily. He knew exactly what his pack-sister was thinking. He hated that uppity Black bitch for bestowing the name on him. He wished he could tear her precious grandson to pieces. If there was any way to get his hands on the brat – but security at St. Mungo's and Hogwarts was super-tight, forcing Junior to think of another way to get to Lupin for killing their sire.

And then it had hit him. Tess Green. Now Tess Weasley. Happily married and living a picket fence life – albeit one with a view of a dragon compound – like she was some kind of _human_. The pair of them, they were revolting, thinking they could marry and have children like they were human. It was an embarrassment to the werewolf race.

But Lupin was devoted to Tess, and Junior decided that was the way he would hurt his pack-brother.

Junior smiled viciously. "Is that any way to talk to your brother?" he asked.

"The only brother I've got is Remus," Tess snarled.

He delighted to see the fear in her eyes. The Black bitch might call him Junior, but it was apparent that everyone knew how vicious he was capable of being... and that he had a settle to score with Lupin. He eyed Tess appreciatively. That civilised look of hers wasn't exactly to his taste, but there was no denying that she was a gorgeous woman with a terrific sense of style. Like his sire, he had no sense of boundaries when it came to his pack. He licked his lips. It had been a long time since he had been with such a beautiful woman.

Tess immediately sensed his desire. Like it or not, Junior was her pack-brother and they shared a certain bond that went beyond even the connection that werewolves shared in general. And their sire – she shuddered, thinking about the things he had done to her... the things he had planned to do to her had Lupin not interceded. "Get out," she said, hating herself for how obviously her voice was shaking with fear.

She reached for the silver blade she always carried with her – a symbol she had copied from her brother as an indication of the hatred she felt for werewolves like her sire and their pack-brother – but despite her own phenomenal reflexes, a werewolf who had been on Wolfsbane the entire of their existence was no match for a werewolf who fed all month long. The blade was wrenched out of her hand and went skittering on the floor in a fraction of a second.

"You _bitch_!" Junior snarled. "You think you're too good to be a werewolf, huh? You think you're too good for _me_?"

Despite herself, Tess spat in his face. "Yeah," she taunted. "I do."

Howling with rage, Junior kissed her roughly and Tess felt the vomit rise in her throat at the smell and taste of rotting meat. He pushed her against the table and she felt his erection against her thigh. She pushed against him, for all the good it did her.

Junior grabbed her wrists, his fingers closing in around the metal tracking bracelet she wore. He knew exactly what it was; one of those demeaning tracking devices that the Romanian Ministry of Magic placed on all registered Dark and Dangerous Creatures. Junior had scoffed about it in the seedier pubs of Europe's magical communities – like _he_ would ever wear such a thing – and it infuriated him to know that it was something one of his own pack had lowered herself to. All for the love of that pureblood she had married, no doubt.

He closed his fingers tighter around the bracelet, determined to break it with his superhuman strength. It was an abomination, demeaning to creatures who were way beyond humans. Tess screamed as the bones in her wrist broke under the grip of Junior's hand, although the bracelet didn't give so much as a fraction. As pain coursed through her arm, both from the broken bones and the nerve-shattering pulsing emitted from the bracelet, designed to emit pain that even a werewolf couldn't bear if the device was tampered with, she supposed she could at least be grateful that in moments, members from the Ministry would be here to arrest her for attempting to remove her bracelet...

* * *

><p>It was a silent Lupin and Ginny that returned to the bar the next day. "That's Laya," Lupin said. The Eurasian Eagle-Owl was flying in circles outside the window. Lupin opened it and the owl flew in. He caught the letter. For a second, he thought that Charlie – who was, after all, only one country over – had found out that he had been behaving inappropriately towards his kid sister.<p>

_Remus,_

_Junior attacked Tess. Tried to disable her bracelet and broke her wrist. Taken her to St. Bretranions. No idea where Junior is. Come quickly._

_Charlie_

"Tess has been attacked," Lupin said flatly. "I'm going to Romania."

"I'll come with you," Ginny offered.

"No, you stay here," Lupin said. "Don't argue with me, Ginny. I don't want to have to worry about you as well as her, and I don't care to explain to your brother what you're doing with me. Just stay here until I get back, OK? I mean it – no exploring. Be bored if you must but _don't leave these rooms_."

* * *

><p>"How is she?" Lupin demanded, storming the Romanian Ministry. Far less obsessed with its own self-importance than its English equivalent, it had quickly become obvious that Tess was the victim in the sorry story, despite the fact that it had been her bracelet to go off after an attempted tampering. She had been checked out at St. Bretranions and then transferred to the Ministry, which she was more familiar with.<p>

Augustin Koslov, the Minister for Dark and Dangerous Creatures Integration, directed a brief but pointed glance at Lupin's wrist. "Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it," he said. The Romanian Ministry had a policy to track Dark and Dangerous Creatures so, in the event of an attack, they could quickly have their whereabouts confirmed and be exonerated. It worked remarkably well, helping to create a sense of trust between those Creatures willing to be tracked and the greater magical community, although being voluntary – and even if it _wasn't_, there was a matter of catching Creatures like Junior to begin with – there were always those who saw no point in being part of the greater community. As a matter of good faith, Lupin fronted up to the Romanian Ministry for a bracelet when he arrived in the country and had it taken off again when he left. But it wasn't exactly his primary concern right now. "How is she?" he repeated.

"He shattered the bones in her wrist," Koslov said frankly. "My colleague at St. Bretranions says it's a bad injury, even for a werewolf. Her healing abilities can't deal with them straight away, and of course she can't be given anything for it without affecting the Wolfsbane. And then of course when the pulse went off – " Lupin shuddered to think about it. He'd experienced the pulse for a brief second to be shown how it worked – the bracelet could only be removed with a complicated spell performed by a full human – he couldn't imagine the agony said pulse must have been on shattered bones for several seconds, even minutes. "From what I was told, she isn't in any pain now, but her mind isn't recognising that. He really hurt her."

"Because of me," Lupin said flatly.

_And the English think _we're_ backwards_, Koslov thought. Tess Weasley had a fan in him – her intelligence, her devotion to her husband, her work with World Werewolf Alliance – but she still carried around an element of shame for being a Dark Creature that only the English seemed to cultivate – or at least, that no-one cultivated like the English. "Because of – what do you call him?"

"I don't know his name," Lupin admitted. "My mother-in-law dubbed him Junior. Because he takes after our sire. He calls _himself_ Greyback." He thought deeply for a second. "How did he get away from – what was it – half-a-dozen Ministry officials? Including yourself?"

Koslov looked ashamed at that. "Tess was our primary concern," he admitted. "And he was _very_ swift on his feet."

"Tess and I don't operate at full capacity," Lupin explained flatly. "The more you feed, the stronger – and faster – you are." He shoved his hands into his pants pockets, seething with guilt and frustration that he couldn't do anything for her. "Can I see her?"

"Of course."

Tess had been put in a small room. She jumped up when she saw her brother. "Remus!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms, her good arm flying around his neck, her cast arm hanging limply by her side. She promptly burst into tears.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered huskily.

"Wasn't your fault," she sniffled.

"You can tell me that a million times and I won't believe you," he admitted sadly. He knew intellectually that no-one but Junior was to blame for the terror he wreaked. But his heart, his conscience – all the things that made him what Junior wasn't, despite their physiological sameness – they told him that if it wasn't for him, Junior wouldn't be targeting those he loved.

"Teddy," Tess said in alarm, her thoughts echoing Lupin's.

"I don't know who is itching more to strike a blow, Minerva or Andromeda," Lupin said as jokingly as he could manage, trying to lighten the mood. "Junior knows perfectly well the security around Teddy is too powerful for him to try and breach. Though I wish for once she'd taken after Bellatrix and killed him off the spot," Lupin asked bitterly. Andromeda loathed killing unless it was in self-defence, and then only if a warning spell couldn't scare them off. _Bet she's sorry now_, Lupin thought grimly. Not that it brought him any consolation.

He and Charlie took Tess home – well, back to the compound and its super-security that could rival St. Mungos. It would be a while, if ever, before Tess would want to return to their house on the hill.

"Thanks for coming so quickly," Charlie said when Tess went to have a bath.

"She's my sister, how could I not?" Lupin sighed. "I feel so guilty. I thought Andy had scared him off but instead he's been stewing for all these years – "

"Don't, Remus. He had a choice to become what he has. Look at you and Tess. And I'm not sure it's entirely about you... he hates what you represent... and Tess, too. And Greyback had some pretty warped morals, even for a werewolf. Didn't he target Tess for his wife?" Charlie asked. Lupin nodded slightly; loathe to admit the revolting plans Greyback had for Tess. "It wouldn't surprise me if Junior thought he could just... pick up where daddy left off," Charlie said, the disgust in his voice apparent. He looked pensive for a few seconds. "She _knew_ something was up," he admitted. "She sensed something... she felt someone was out to get her. I laughed it off, I thought she was just being insecure. I wish I'd listened."

"And you tell _me_ not to blame myself," Lupin said.

"We have to find him, Remus."

"_You_ will do nothing other than take care of my sister," Lupin said resolutely.

"I'm serious, Remus. He has it in for civilised Dark Creatures and he has it in for you in particular. He will target the people you care about until one of you is dead."

_The people you care about_. Suddenly, Lupin thought of Ginny. Surely, Junior wouldn't work out that there was a connection between them. And yet – and yet – he hadn't exactly been discreet in parading his gorgeous redheaded companion around Europe, his only concern that civilised magical folk wouldn't stumble across them. It had never occurred to him that he had to worried about _un_civilised creatures. He had been banking on the fact that even the most base of dark creatures would respect a werewolf's wrath.

But that would work precisely the opposite with Junior.

"Remus? You alright?" Charlie asked.

"Er – yes. Sorry – I was in the middle of something when Laya arrived. I hadn't thought about it, worrying about Tess, but – "

Charlie waved him away good-naturedly. "Go, go. She'll be fine with me – she'll be fine _here_. There's no place safer in this part on Europe." That was exactly Lupin's concern; the tavern rooms he had were hardly secure.

He departed swiftly.

* * *

><p>"Back already, Remus? I'd have thought you'd be at least a day," Ginny said. Her stomach churned when she saw a werewolf who was feral-looking even by his species' standards. It was during the full moon, but it was the middle of the day, and his face was still covered with thick hair.<p>

This must be Junior. Somehow, the name wasn't nearly as funny as when Andromeda had derided his attempts to take after his sire.

Junior had moped around after his aborted attack of Tess Weasley – how was he to know that not only was that bracelet unbreakable by force, but that trying would call half the Ministry to the house? – barely getting out of there with his hide in tact. No she was no doubt firmly ensconced behind security to rival that which surrounded Teddy Lupin – probably the dragon compound that her pureblood (_pureblood! A werewolf denying their species and marrying a _pureblood!) husband on hers worked at. All he'd managed to do was break a few bones in her wrist. He smiled grimly at that. Uppity bitch couldn't take anything for it, so hopefully he was in pain.

Which didn't change the fact that he had been unable to do anything but break a few bones and scare the girl. He had wanted to savage her, he had wanted to make her bite, make her feed, turn her over to his side.

It had been easy enough to find out Lupin's location in Bulgaria... and more. It had been just as easy to find out that the man was travelling Europe with a much-younger companion... just as easy as it had been to work out that _companion_ was meant in the sexual sense. The creatures he spoke to spoke of his companion longingly, making it obvious that it was only the threat of his wrath that restrained any of them.

A gorgeous redhead in her early twenties. What _was_ it with those two and redheads?

And didn't the Weasleys have a younger sister? Junior had put the pieces together quickly. Charlie was thirty or so and the oldest, second-oldest, something like that. His kid sister could easily be in her early twenties. And since they had all gone to Hogwarts, Lupin would have taught this kid sister at some point.

Junior had been beside himself with glee when he had put the pieces together. So Lupin was traipsing around Europe, keeping company with a gorgeous pureblood young enough to be his daughter. Despite his disgust for his pack-brother's lifestyle, he knew him better than Lupin thought he did. Such as, he was still deeply hung up on that wife of his. Such as, he frequently used prostitutes, both because the Black bitch would castrate him if he made his infidelities personal and because he didn't _want_ an emotional connection if he couldn't be with his wife. So for him to have a companion for the three-month summer break... Junior's mouth had curved into a wicked smile. He must really care about this girl to take such a risk, to display her so openly, even if it _was_ as far from the civilised English magical community as you could get (at least without crossing an ocean).

An attack on the Weasley girl would be even better than an attack of Tess. To snatch her, to have his way with her, to turn her, to make him like _him_... Junior had cackled with glee.

And now here he was. She was more striking that bar-room gossip said. Long red hair that was like flowing fire, sharp, intelligent green eyes, an exquisite figure even underneath jeans and a baggy t-shirt... he would soon change _that_.

"Go away," Ginny said, her voice shaking. She was frightened. She had never realised just how dangerous and threatening Lupin could be – even when fired up with anger, he was restrained.

Junior grinned leeringly. A gorgeous piece, and he could smell the fear on her too boot – a heady combination. "Don't think I will," he said mockingly, and lunged at him.

Ginny started to scream but before she could, his arms were around her, pinning her arms to her sides, and her mouth was on her, kissing her forcefully, the smell of rotting meat soaking in her every pore. The fear and revulsion she felt made her last encounter with Bellatrix LeStrange seem like two friends having a casual chat. Her stomach churned, her body rebelled, but the vicious, vengeful werewolf held her in place, and she knew that there was no way around his superior strength and blood lust, knew that he wanted more than her than simply a tasty snack, knew that she had become the latest piece of collateral damage in his vendetta with Lupin...

... Lupin let himself into the room as stealthily as he could manage, giving his instinct was to burst through the door and scream for Ginny until she was in his arms with a powerful shield spell around them. But if Junior had her, then he didn't dare call attention to himself – knowing he had his pack-brother's full attention would only incline Junior to be more vicious towards Ginny.

His worst feels came true when he entered the room with a stealth that was impressive even for a werewolf and saw the creature mauling Ginny. You didn't need to know Junior – or even what he was – to know that he was forcing himself onto the young woman. Rage filled Lupin – rage and a surging sense of something that he hadn't felt... that he hadn't felt since he had seen his wife fall and had wanted to go after the woman who had attacked the most important person in his life, the woman he loved more than he had thought it was possible for him to love...

He was behind Junior, his silver-bladed knife – the same one which had killed his sire – in his hand in a moment; Junior was too preoccupied with this luscious piece that he was about to snatch to sense anything but his own lust. The first thing he felt was the silver, lethal to werewolves, slide into his flesh, turning skin, bone and lung to ash. He let go of Ginny to turn and face his attacker. "Remus," he gasped.

Lupin responded by lunging the blade into Junior's heart. Junior's yellowy-green eyes blazed with fury at being thwarted yet again – and for the last time – his dying thoughts being that once again the older man had taken something that he was entitled to...

The vicious werewolf dropped to the floor, two large, ashy holes in his scarred, furry body. With disgust, Lupin gave the body a vicious kick and it slid a meter or two across the floor.

That taken care of, Lupin focused his attention of Ginny. She was crying and shaking – perfectly understandable. "You OK?" he asked stupidly. "Sorry. I meant, did he bite you?" Even though Junior wasn't capable of turning her during the day, her oldest brother was testimony to the fact that a werewolf could still do some damage even when not under full control of the moon.

Ginny shook her head and threw herself into his arms. "I was so scared," she sobbed. "I thought he was going to kill me." Of course, she couldn't bring herself to say what she thought he had _actually _planned to do.

He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head, running his lips through her hair. "It's alright, love," he whispered hoarsely, thinking that if he'd been any later... he shuddered at the thought. "It's alright, I'm here. I'm here, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I won't lose you. I won't lose you." And despite the fact that she reeked of Junior's foulness, despite the fact that she must be traumatised by his assault, he tilted her head and pushed his mouth onto hers in a bruising, demanding kiss that she was only too happy to return

* * *

><p>Charlie slid out of bed and padded into the spare room when Tess had insisted on staying. He had taken it graciously when she had pushed him away, although it was never easy to accept that your wife didn't want you to touch her. But he would have respected her wishes – if not for the fact that she had been crying all night, thinking he couldn't hear, and he couldn't stand it anymore.<p>

She was lying on her stomach – she always slept on her stomach or side, never on her back, and informed her that Lupin did the same thing, which he took her word for – her good arm wrapped around the pillow, the cast arm flung across the bed, crying into her pillow. He eased himself onto his back, drawing her into his arms so her good arm was across his chest. She didn't fight him, which he figured was a good thing. "It's OK," he said, feeling helpless against his wife's fear and pain. "He can't hurt you here. This is one of the most secure sites in the world. Rumour has it even Voldermort ran afoul of the security spells."

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying that that's what I was _told_, though I have no idea how true it was," Charlie admitted. He rubbed her back tentatively, and when she didn't object to that, he edged his fingers under the hem of the singlet she was wearing to sleep in. She tensed up sharply and he withdrew her hand. "Sorry," he said quickly. He had been warned that this might happened. He had first met Tess soon after she had been turned, and she had been so skittish around men in general after what Greyback had done to her. He had pursued her doggedly for a date, for sure, but he hadn't made a pass at her until he'd been sure she was ready for it, and slowly he'd been rewarded as she became comfortable around him, trusted him. And now – "I'll kill him," he vowed. If nothing else, he hated Junior for making his wife so frightened and unhappy. "I'll hunt him down and kill him."

"Don't be ridiculous, Charlie," she snapped through her tears. "The only person who's ever beaten a werewolf in hand-to-hand combat is Remus. I have enough on my place without having to worry about you going out and doing something stupid."

_You sure it was Remus-the-werewolf and not Remus-the-devoted-brother?_ Charlie wondered. He was sure he was capable of the blind, killing rage that came from wanting to kill anyone who threatened Tess that had driven Remus to kill their sire in order to keep her safe. "I suppose I should be glad that you still care enough," he said mildly.

"Of course I care."

"Really?" He moved his hand to her hair, twisting it lightly through his fingers. She didn't seem to mind that, and given her current state of mind, he took that as her enjoying it. He remembered when he'd tried to kiss her earlier that night and she'd pushed him away. _Don't, _she had cried. _I don't care if you see someone else, but don't... please don't._ He understood that it was something she had just blurted out and that she wasn't actually telling him to have an affair, but it had still cut him deeply to hear it.

She squirmed a little. "I didn't mean what I said," she said in a small voice.

"I know you didn't, babe." He didn't add that it had still hurt to hear it.

Nonetheless, she realised that she _had_ hurt him. Guiltily, she remembered how patient he had been with her, even when doggedly pursuing her. "I can't stop thinking about him," she admitted, the most she had opened up to Charlie so far.

"I don't expect you to just forget about it."

"I keep thinking – he's out there – Charlie, I don't think I'll feel safe until I know he's dead." She propped herself up on her good elbow and met his eyes; hers were tear-stained. "I don't think – " she stumbled on the words, and he knew that what she was trying to say was _I don't think I can be the wife I should be_.

"Tess, it doesn't matter to me. Honestly, it doesn't. Well – OK – it does – " he would be insulting her if he tried to lie that he _didn't_ care that she didn't want him to touch her sexually or romantically – "but you mean the world to me. I don't mind waiting until you're ready. C'mon, settle down," he directed her. She lay her head down on his chest, and he could feel her faster heartbeat through their clothes.

Surprisingly, she fell asleep faster than he did, and he lay awake in the darkness, listening to her breathe and feeling her heart beat. He loved her to distraction, and he'd do anything for her. He only wished he could make her understand that her lycanthropy meant nothing to him.

* * *

><p>Ginny was perched on the edge of the bed, dressed primly in blue-and-white striped pyjamas that made her looked younger than her twenty-one years, waiting for Lupin to emerge from the shower. He did after a few more minutes, dressing in his bathrobe, it clinging to her thin frame in a way that made it clear that he was only wearing underwear under it.<p>

He sat down next to her and there was a long, deep silence before he said, "Is this what you want?" he asked. "To be my mistress? Because once we go down this path, once you sleep with me, you can't take it back." He couldn't deny how hot he was for her, how much he cared about her, and he knew he couldn't walk away anymore, but part of him still wanted _her_ to walk away.

Ginny nodded. "I told you that yesterday." _Yesterday_? She found herself asking herself. It had only been a day since they had been at the stream. Only a day since she had thrown herself at him and he had turned her down flat, less than a day since she had found out that her sister-in-law had been viciously attacked, only a few hours since she had been attacked by the same creature. So much had changed in that day, and yet she _knew_ that she wanted him, knew that she was in love with him deeply enough to become his mistress if that was the only way she could have him.

He nodded slightly; he had known that she would say that. She was a woman of high passion and determination; once she had decided she wanted to be with him and was prepared to be his mistress if that's what it took, there was no dissuading her. "It has to stop when we get back to Paris," he informed her quietly. "It can't continue in London." Too many people knew them in England, and it wouldn't take long of people seeing him with Ginny in even the most innocent-looking capacity for the gossip mill to start up.

"I understand."

"OK then." Lupin wasn't exactly sure how to go about this, and he figured that honesty was the best policy. "I'm used to being with prostitutes," he admitted. "I'm used to asking for what I want and getting it. Prostitutes are... pretty open-minded so long as you don't surprise them with anything. I don't want to fuck this up and offend you with a request that, er, a little... unusual for what you're used to, but... it's been a long time since I was with a nice girl," he said, floundering.

It took a few seconds for Ginny to realise what Lupin was talking about, and when she did, she blushed. She was hardly ignorant of sexual relations, but she knew, even before Lupin had rather badly tried to explain things to her, that he knew many, many things about such relations than a girl like her did. She found herself suddenly nervous but anticipating at the same time. "I don't mind," she said shyly. "You won't offend me. I – I want to learn. You said to me yesterday that a talent is twenty percent raw talent, forty percent desire to learn and forty percent a decent tutor. I _want_ to learn... and I know you won't make me do anything you don't want me to." And saying this, she reached for his hand, taking note that he had already taken off his wedding ring.

He threaded his fingers in her, taking note of her firm, fair young skin contrasting with his scarred forty-two-year-old skin. His brain was screaming that he shouldn't do this, that by sleeping with her he was making her his mistress, a title that was far, far beneath someone of her breeding and that she would only be hurt in the long run. But his heart – his heart –

He leaned in to kiss her. She tasted like the vanilla shampoo and soap she used, as well as her own distinct scent that had become more and more noticeable as it had become harder and harder to fight his attraction for her. "Ginny," he murmured huskily.

"Remus," she replied, flicking her tongue into his mouth, and when she did that, he knew that there was no going back if she wasn't going to walk away. He scooped her into his lap and she wriggled around. The effect was instantaneous; he could feel the strain in his pants immediately. He pushed her onto her back on the bed and slid his hands under her pyjama top. He wanted to take it slow, feel ever inch of her body before consummating their relationship, but he knew he wasn't going to have such restraint. He started to apologise, but then he realised that she wanted this just as much as he did, wanted gratification just as badly as he did. Slow and sensual could come later.

He withdrew his hands from under her top and quickly unbuttoned it, pulling it away and tossing it onto the floor so she was completely naked from the waist up. He trailed a few kisses from her mouth down her neck and shoulders before fixating on her breasts, his mouth sucking and his tongue licking over her nipple while his massaged her other breast with his hand. She ran her fingers through his hair, gripping it tightly, and, arching her back involuntarily, cried out his name. She pulled frantically at the robe he was wearing, and between the two of them, they got the material off, sending it to join her top, so all he was wearing was his briefs. They did little to hide his massive erection, which she could feel against her thigh.

Lupin snaked his free hand down Ginny's body, under her pyjama bottom and the under her panties. He stroked teasingly around her womanhood until she was scratching at his neck and shoulders in frustration. "_Please_, Remus," she begged. "_Pleeeeaseee..._"

He abandoned her breast to smile at her, a smile that was loving and lewd at the same time – only he could have managed it. "I could never refuse a beautiful woman begging for my attention," he said, before mashing his mouth down on hers for a bruising, demanding kiss. She flung her arms around her neck, kissing him back with just as much hunger. In one swift movement, he yanked her pyjama bottoms and panties down off her and onto the floor so she was completely naked. "Help me," he grunted, not because he couldn't get his underwear off but because he wanted her assistance in this last action before they consummated their relationship and there was no turning back.

She hooked her thumbs inside his briefs at his hips and dragged them down his legs until he could kick them off and they were both completely naked. She ran her fingers lightly over his skin, cupping his bare ass and then moving around to his crotch, fingering his manhood. She let out a breath when she felt how hard he was – and how big. She hadn't been with someone so endowed as he was, and it made her a little nervous, thinking about her first time with Harry and how uncomfortable it had been and how much bigger Lupin was...

He kissed her deeply, knowing what she was thinking. "It'll fit," he assured her. He stroked her clitoris, very softly and slowly at first, then with more speed and pressure as she began to writhe and moan under his touch, her womanhood becoming slick with desire. She spread her legs wider for him and dug her fingers into his shoulders.

She was close to sobbing with desire after a few minutes, scratching frantically at his back. If she had screamed at the top of her lungs, begging for it, she couldn't have made her desires clearer. He shifted slightly so he was firmly between her legs and teased her for a few seconds, rubbing his manhood against her until she screamed his name and he pushed himself inside her, his member sliding into her slick, tight womanhood. He pushed his way all the way in until his abdomen was completely pushed up against hers.

Ginny went tense underneath him for a few seconds, her body getting used to a much bigger man than she was used to. Lupin gave her a few seconds before he started thrusting as slow as he could manage, but it was what neither of them wanted, discomfort be damned. She wrapped her legs tight around his waist and her arms around his back. She pushed her hips against his in a command to continue. He kept thrusting, faster and harder with every time, his fingers working between her legs in time to his thrusts. He grunted and she moaned in rhythm, their guttural sounds getting more and more frantic as they barrelled towards an orgasm...

Ginny arched her back, tightened her grip of her legs around his waist and dug her nails deep into his flesh and she climaxed, screaming. Burying his face in her shoulder, Lupin thrust hard one final time and spilt himself inside her, his seed flowing in a steady stream of warmth.

He stayed on top of her for over a minute, panting slightly while he gathered his wits before withdrawing and rolling off her, settling on his side, propped up on his elbow. "You OK?" he asked, for a second looking like a concerned teacher and not a – what exactly was he to her now? Her lover? What was the man in a mistress scenario? _Master_? She giggled at that. No-one was going to be _her_ master, no matter _how_ crazy she was about them. Lupin frowned. "What's so funny?" he asked. She explained. "I don't think it's something you're going to have to bandy about much," he said dryly. "Did I hurt you?" he asked. "Was it uncomfortable? Tell the truth, Gin."

"A little," she admitted. "I mean – a little uncomfortable... at first. I've never been with someone that... _big_," she said. She curled up into his arms. "I'll get used to it. I'm sure you'll give me lots of practice."

He chuckled and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her and running his hands down her back, cupping her buttocks, so smooth and firm. "I think you're going to be a handful," he murmured between kisses. He took one hand and slid it between their bodies to his manhood to teach her how to touch him to reignite his lust the soonest.

"Remus!" she said, shocked when she felt his start to harden again under her touch, directed by his own. She had experience with men who could recover quickly, but not like this. But she didn't sound shocked in a _bad_ way.

"You want this, you can get used to a Dark Creature's libido," he grunted, his own fingers already between her legs. She shuddered with delight, the pleasure and rising desire overwhelming the discomfort.

"With my pleasure," she said, spreading her legs to give him easier access.

* * *

><p>Charlie let himself into the house, disarming several powerful security spells that were way beyond the ability of someone like Junior in order to get in. Usually he was hit with the smell of whatever Tess was cooking for dinner – she always got home before him and was a far superior cook, so there had been no contest about the designation of chores there – but this evening, it just smelled like... <em>house<em>. Unhomey house, too. He never would have guessed that four years of living in one place would give it a certain sense of home that this new place didn't have.

"Tess?" he called. "Babe, you home?" He told herself not to panic; even if Junior _had_ someone gotten in – which was incredibly unlikely – there would be serious signs of a struggle that he would have had neither the ability or time to correct if he had any chance of getting out without being caught.

He found Tess in the living room, curled up on the couch, looking somewhat stunned. He sat next to her and put his arm around her; she leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. "You alright?" he asked casually.

"Junior's dead," she said, handing her husband the note that her brother had sent by owl a few hours earlier. Charlie opened it and quickly scanned it.

_Tess,_

_Junior's dead. I killed him myself. I hope this helps you to sleep easy. I'll see you soon._

_Love, _

_Remus_.

"Oh, thankgod," Charlie breathed. Without bothering to wait for her permission – instinctively knowing it was OK, the way he knew Tess better than anyone except maybe Lupin – he wrapped his arms around her and moved her into his lap. Junior must have gone after Lupin after taking down Tess had proven to be a disaster. _Idiot_, Charlie thought – he'd have had better luck trying to attack Teddy at St. Mungo's again. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Glad," she admitted. Then, more viciously, "I wish it had been more painful. I wish he had hurt him." Of course, it wasn't practical to give a Dark Creature time to gain the upper hand by torturing them, especially since Junior was much stronger and faster than his 'vegetarian' pack-siblings, but still... Tess shuddered to remember what Junior had done to her, what he had planned to do to her...

Charlie drew Tess in closer and kissed the top of her head. "It's OK, he's gone," he whispered reassuringly. "And everyone knows that you're not like him."

She rubbed her cheek against his rough work-shirt, always, always seeking the familiarity of her husband. She was such a tactile creature, and he had always been curious if that was her or a werewolf thing. If it was a werewolf thing, then it had to be an incredibly difficult life for his brother-in-law. He made a mental note to have Lupin over while he was in the vicinity; the man had to be so lonely.

* * *

><p>Ginny bunched the bottom sheet in her hands as Lupin thrust hard from behind. She gasped at the force and simultaneously pushed back against him. She craved the feeling of him all the way inside her and gasped in ecstasy every time he plunged the length of his manhood inside her. She felt his nails digging into her buttocks and loved his possessiveness, his sexual hunger for her that she knew went beyond his high libido or his recent dry spell.<p>

Momentarily spent a few minutes later after they both came to orgasm, he lay on his side next to her. "How was that?" he asked, and Ginny giggle, because she knew he was attempting to sound casual.

"You are such a fisher for compliments," she said. "You know perfectly well that it was amazing." She touched her throat briefly; she could feel it start to ache from screaming. And it was the only part of her body that ached, in that good way that you got from overdoing it on something _so_ pleasurable... Lupin shrugged, as if to say that he didn't get a lot of feedback from women who it _wasn't_ in their interest to give favourable feedback – the prostitutes who relied on praise for return patronage. So Ginny decided that, just this once, Lupin was entitled to high praise. "You're amazing," she said huskily. "You – I thought I was doing pretty well, but you... how do you manage it?" she asked, referring to both his skill and stamina.

"Werewolf's physiology and an eagerness to learn," he said. "I always wanted to excel at everything I could... because I had to have _something_ that I was great at to offset... everything else."

She cupped his face and stared into those green eyes. She loved it when he opened up to her like this. She kissed him, and it wasn't long before they were making out in earnest. She ran her hands down his chest – so thin and wiry, with such hidden strength – and then started kissing her way down his chest that made Lupin arch his back and murmur his appreciation. He brought his hands to her hair and before she realised that he was pushing her down, her head was at his crotch and she could feel his hardening erection at her fingertips. Anticipation and apprehension coursed through her simultaneously; she wanted to do this and she wasn't a _complete_ novice to blow jobs, but she already had experience with how big he was and wasn't sure she could fit him in her mouth.

"It's easier than you think," he murmured, sensing her apprehension – and her anticipation. "Just take it in all the way down your throat." _And resist the urge to gag or bite_, he added silently.

Obediently, Ginny took Lupin in her mouth, slowly working her way up his shaft, resisting the urge to gag. It had been one thing to have him inside her, but sliding down her throat – and yet, it kind of excited her. It turned her on to hear Lupin gasp and whimper in pleasure as his hot, hard manhood slid into her open mouth. She persevered and took him entirely into her mouth and started licking his manhood, even scraping his teeth lightly when it became clear that he could take it rough just like she could. She started massaging his balls as she tended to his manhood, and Lupin responded by arching his back and growling like an animal in the throes of lust. "Ginny!" he cried out.

It didn't take long for her to become comfortable enough with him down her throat to start sliding her lips up and down his erection, withdrawing and taking him in with greater and greater length and speed until Lupin was moaning and writhing uncontrollably. She grinned to herself. She loved knowing she could do this to him.

Lupin reached the point of no return and he gripped her hair roughly for a solid hold on her head, and started thrusting hard and deep into her mouth – unexpected, but not something Ginny couldn't handle. She recognised the drive in him when he was close to an orgasm and the fact that she didn't need to do anything; she simply stayed in a kneeling position while Lupin thrust into her mouth like half an hour ago he had been thrusting between her legs. "GINNY!" he screamed, and spilt himself into her mouth.

There was one thing that could be said for his manhood being buried so deep in her throat; his seed slid easily down her throat, easy for her to swallow.

"I did good?" she asked him coyly when she climbed back up the bed to join him.

"You did good," he said mildly, the glow in his eyes and the smile on his lips telling her that she did more than just 'good'. "I think I should return the favour," he said, and flipped her onto her back, where he started kissing her, working his way down her body the same way she had done to him just before. Her nipples hardened under his mouth and she was shaking with anticipation before he had even gotten to her pelvis. He had gone down on her before, but it wasn't something she was yet tired of – and something she doubted she ever _would_ get tired of it.

He flicked his tongue between her legs, and Ginny sighed in pleasure. A few seconds later, his fingers joined his tongue, caressing, sucking, licking, even biting gently as he ate her out. He might have admitted, with some bitterness, that his ability to please women had stemmed from a determination to be good at all he could be as a means of overcompensating, but there was no denying that he _was_ damn good in bed. And it was more than that – he seemed to genuinely enjoy pleasing women. While he got it academically that there were plenty of women out there who saw a woman's pleasure as not their problem, his truly didn't understand the selfishness behind the logic.

His tongue and fingers working their magic on her, Ginny sighed and wriggled in pleasure. But Lupin had more tricks up his sleeve. Procuring a bottle of lubricant, he made sure his fingers were ready for her – slick and warm – before sliding one hand under her bottom and, caressing sensuously between her buttocks for a few moments, he eased a digit up her backside.

Ginny gasped at the new, unexpected sensation – but one that was not exactly _unwanted_. Her upbringing told her that it was wrong, wanton, but when her lover began fingering her there, she couldn't deny that it was a pleasant feeling. More than pleasant – the simultaneous attention was exquisite. "Remus..." she gasped, torn between wanting to tell him to stop because it wasn't something girls of her breeding were supposed to do and not caring what he did to her when it felt _so good_.

"I'll stop when you want," he murmured, his face buried between her legs, making it clear by his wording that simply telling him _no_ wouldn't be enough; she had to make it clear by her tone, her actions, that she truly didn't want this.

And they both knew she couldn't do that.

Lupin slid in a second, then a third finger, all the time ministering to her in a more traditional way. Ginny bucked wildly at the simultaneous sensation going on down there, and she first gripped fistfuls of Lupin's hair in her hands, tugging wildly, then scratched at his shoulders and back in a way that only seemed to egg him on – and egg _her_ on as well. "Remus!" she cried out as she bucked and only Lupin's superior strength kept her on the bed. "Oh, God, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming!" she cried out...

It was the most explosive orgasm she'd ever experienced, and after it was over, she lay shaking on the bed. She felt like she was made of rubber, she felt exquisite. She was simultaneously distantly and acutely aware of him turning her onto her stomach and pushing her a little up the bed. "This will be a little uncomfortable," he admitted. _You'll get used to it, enjoy it_. "I'll stop when you want."

Though she had known that his erection would be somewhat more significant than his fingers, though it had been very recent since he had demonstrated that he was much bigger than anything she was used to, she hadn't expected it to be _quite_ such a tight fit. Even well-lubricated, his manhood was uncomfortable as he deflowered her in a way that girls of her breeding weren't meant to know about, let alone allow. And yet – and yet – she wasn't exactly adverse to the idea, despite the discomfort, especially when he brought his fingers down to her clitoris and began stroking her. She moaned lustily and when she inadvertently pushed back against him, pushing him deeper inside her, she wasn't exactly sorry. She found herself gripping the sheets again as Lupin continued with his claim on her virginity and she knew she would never be the same girl again... and she kind of liked the idea...

* * *

><p>Ginny stirred in her sleep. Lupin was dead to the world, asleep on his stomach the way he liked, one bare arm flung casually over her. She wriggled out from under him and, wrapping herself up in the robe, went to sit by the window.<p>

_Four days. _Four days of solid bedroom activities. Her body ached from the demands Lupin had made of her – demands that she had been more than willing to concede to. What had it been, twenty, two dozen times? He had a voracious appetite and had had her until he was sated... and she hadn't exactly minded. She blushed to remember how often he had taken her, and how many ways... the way he had directed her to open her mouth to him, the way she had taken him all the way down her throat and enjoyed it... the way she had been jolted from slumber in the middle of the night to find him on top of her and inside her, and the way she had loved it... the way she hadn't protested when he had taken her anally, the way she had enjoyed it the second time... and the third... despite the ache now that it was over. The way she had responded to his voracious appetite with one of her own, one she hadn't thought she had possessed.

She had permitted things she shouldn't even know about, and she had loved every moment of it. She knew it wasn't something she ought to be able to brag about, that she had sated a werewolf's voracious sexual appetite... but she had, and she had enjoyed it. Every sordid moment. At least, sordid by the standards she had been brought up in.

She wondered how her brothers would take it to know what she had been up to these last four days. She wondered if it was nothing new to Charlie.

She curled up on the window sill, staring out at the moon. She felt so conflicted. She had loved every moment of the last four days, loved the sex, the new and scandalous things Lupin had introduced her to, loved the moments in between when he was momentarily sated and looked at her like she was the greatest woman in the world – sexually, emotionally, intellectually. She remembered what she had said six weeks ago, about Harry. _I used to lie there and want something to happen._ That connection she had talked about – that drawing together of two people – she understood that now, because she had it with him.

She was head-over-heels in love with a man old enough to be her father, a _married_ man, for all the technicality that the marriage was. She knew she shouldn't, but she loved him, and loved being with him, and she felt torn between what she wanted and what she knew she ought to find repugnant.

She didn't realise how much time had passed as she stood there, staring into the darkness, before Lupin wrapped his arms around her. She jumped, startled. "Sorry," he murmured into her ear. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You could never frighten me," she said softly.

He kissed the top of her head chastely, completely at odds with the bedroom antics that had finally wound up only hours before. "You alright?" he asked softly, the worry – and fear of rejection – in his voice clear. "I'd have thought you'd be exhausted."

She leaned against him, basking in the warmth of his body. "Just thinking," she said.

"About us?" he asked. She nodded slightly. "Are you sorry?" he asked pointedly.

"No," she said resolutely. "I just... feel like I ought to be ashamed," she admitted. "Girls like me aren't supposed to know about the things we did – let alone enjoy them. And certainly not with – um – "

"Married half-breeds old enough to be your father?" Lupin offered. He sighed. "I should never have agreed to this," he said.

Worried that he was trying to break it up with her, she reached for his hands. They were beautiful, despite the scars that peppered them – perhaps _because_ of that, because she knew that they were a result of his isolation as a child, his parents desire – and then his own – not to bite others. "I'm glad you did, Remus," she said softly. "I'm not sorry that I'm with you – I'm only sorry that it has to be this hard... and that it has to end. But what I feel when I'm with you – I've never had that with anyone, not even Harry. _You_ were the one that told me you needed to have that something special or you would always be haunted with the feeling that something was missing."

He settled behind her and kissed her head again. "I said a lot of things that I'm beginning to wish I didn't," he said.

"Well, don't. You didn't succeed in – in making _her_ stay away and you won't succeed in making _me_ go away, either." She was unable to bring herself to say Tonks's name; she felt a sudden stab of jealousy towards his wife., as if _Tonks_ was the other woman, when in reality it was she who was. "We only have six weeks, Remus. I want to enjoy them."


	5. Chapter 5

Ginny clung to Lupin desperately, knowing that tomorrow, they would go their separate ways and she would never know him again in an intimate way. He would return to being a mentor, a father-figure – at least, the best he could, given what had gone on between them. Deep down, she knew they wouldn't be able to return to their former relationship, and because of that, he would keep his distance from her.

So all they had was tonight. They were back at the Edge of the World, where it had all begun, and tomorrow they would return to London... separately.

Lupin stroked her hair lovingly, the silky red strands flowing through his fingers. "Don't cry," he pleaded. "Please, don't cry. I don't want to remember you crying."

Ginny nodded. "I'm sorry. I just wish this could last."

"Me, too." It had been a wonderful six weeks, the happiest he could remember in years, even with his ongoing feeling of guilt about getting further and further involved in an emotional affair. Happier, he knew deep down, then he had been since the early weeks of his marriage, since before he had found out about the pregnancy and his fears had gotten the better of him.

And now, five years later, he had found happiness again, and he knew he had to give it up. There was no way they could carry on their affair back in England. He couldn't have her with him at Hogwarts – Neville had already tried, and if McGonagall wasn't going to let an unmarried man have his girlfriend of several years and more-or-less the same age stay over, then Lupin wasn't about to dare asking for the same privileges for his mistress young enough to be his daughter, and that was even _if_ he was willing to bring that kind of publicity to their relationship, which he categorically was not. Which brought them to another issues – they were too well known for them to be seen together in England. In the darker magical communities of Eastern Europe, they had enough anonymity – even with his reputation as a possessive werewolf and brilliant DADA instructor – and could go out together, living openly as a couple, but they had no hope of doing that in England. Too many people were aware of his affair with Sarah Callahan for them not to start asking questions if he was seen with an attractive young woman, who had been a former student of his to boot.

No, it had to end. But knowing that didn't make it any easier.

So he was grateful that Ginny repressed any clinginess and did her best to act like it was just another night for them – it made it easier for _him_ to do the same. They exhausted each other with their lovemaking until the early hours of the morning – or, rather, _he_ exhausted _her_ until she fell into a deep sleep.

He didn't want to wake up next to her. He had a feeling that if he did, he would never leave.

* * *

><p>Ginny woke up a few hours later, stretched as her consciousness sharpened into wakefulness, and turned to greet her lover.<p>

He was gone. He had left a note on the pillow.

_Ginny, my love,_

_Please forgive me, but I thought I would be lost if i woke up next to you again. You won't have any trouble leaving – I've made it clear that you are under my protection. I'd appreciate it if you sent me an owl to let me know that you got home safe, but please, for the love of God, please be discreet._

_These last six weeks have been some of the happiest of my life and I will always cherish them, but we both need to get on with our lives. Please try and forget me._

_Remus_.

She crumpled the note and fought back the tears. He had left her. It was over.

* * *

><p>"Daddy!" Teddy cried, running up to his father as fast as his four-and-a-half-year-old legs would carry him.<p>

Lupin hoisted Teddy up onto his hip with ease. "How's my boy?" he asked jovially. He'd enjoyed himself over the summer, he always had, and he'd had a blissful few weeks with Ginny, but there was nothing on this earth that could make him stop missing his son when Teddy wasn't with him.

Teddy squirmed delightedly against his father's side. "Good," he trilled. He wrapped his little arms around Lupin's neck and buried his head in his father's shoulder. The one word spoke volumes between father and son.

Andromeda gave them a few moments alone before she entered the front room. "Remus," she said, something akin to genuine warmth in her cordial tone. "You look good. Teddy, can you please go to your room for a few minutes? I need to speak to your father alone."

Teddy obediently wriggled out of his father's hold and tottered off to his room. "Am I in trouble?" Lupin asked, thinking that his affair with Ginny was written all over his face. "Are you suing for custody again?"

Andromeda laughed. "Oh, I gave up on that ages ago," she said, although they both knew that should the opportunity arise, she wouldn't hesitate to try again. But the passing years had made Lupin more and more popular, and no-one but the most narrow-minded bigots could deny his ability as a father and his love for his son – not even Andromeda. And even Andromeda had had to concede that he'd been gracious in maintaining their custody arrangement even after the Wolfsbane breakthrough kept him human all month. So she had let it go and consoled herself with the fact that she saw her grandchild more often than most grandparents did. "It's not about you, Remus. Let's go into the dining room and have a drink."

Lupin followed his mother-in-law into the tastefully decorated living room where two glasses of firewhisky were already on the time. _This must be bad_, Lupin thought. He down his glass quickly. "OK, what is it?" he asked, thinking that whatever it was, there was no point in dragging it out.

"Frank and Alice are dead," Andromeda said flatly.

Lupin was glad that the firewhisky had started to do his work. For a second he sat in stunned silence. _Frank and Alice_. They had been his age, in his year, although because of his self-imposed isolation growing up he hadn't know either very well before the Order had first been formed. But they had been amazing, strong people with fierce senses of loyalty and integrity. Then, "When?" he asked.

"A few weeks ago. They just... _went_," she said as a way of answering his next question – _how?_ "I guess I need to backtrack a little. You know how unsure Neville was about commitment?" she asked. Lupin nodded; he knew better than most, being a colleague and quasi-father-figure of Neville Longbottom, how scared he was of committing to marriage and children, regardless of how much he loved Luna. He knew from bitter, lonely personal experience that the war simply being over didn't mean the end of the casualties and he didn't want to put a wife or children through what he had gone through – what Lupin was going through. "Well, at some point I guess he realised that he could fret about it forever and let the opportunity slip through his fingers or he could take the chance."

"Wait – so Neville finally proposed?" Lupin asked, already knowing the answer. "Oh, thankgod. I didn't know how else I could blather on about the joys of fatherhood without being obvious."

Andromeda gave a small laugh. "Augusta never let up about how jealous she was of me, having a grandchild that I saw so often," she said. "I think between your blathering and her guilting, the two of you really made him think about what he was missing. Anyway, so he proposed, and she accepted, and he told his parents about it. We don't know exactly when they went but I checked on them myself about half an hour after he had left and... they were gone. It was spooky," she said softly, rubbing her hands lightly over her arms. "It was like they knew he had someone who loved him and who he'd create a new family with and they could go."

Lupin suddenly felt very guilty. Andromeda didn't know about his affair with Ginny – if she did, she would be screaming at him already, if she hadn't moved altogether and taken Teddy with her – so it wasn't aimed at him, but he still felt very guilty. The timing of Frank and Alice's deaths _was_ spooky; had they indeed held on for all those years just to know that their son had found someone to love and start a new family with? Was the subconsciousness and understanding of vegetative patients greater than they had understood? Would Tonks know that he had fallen for someone else the next time he went to see her? "Andy – I – "

She waved his words away, and he could see the tears threatening in her eyes. "I know it's not the same with Dora," she said. "Or if it is, it will be twenty years before Teddy's old enough. It just makes me think – "

"I want her to understand what I'm saying to her, too," Lupin said. "Well, maybe not when I was confessing about Sarah," he added ruefully. Realising they were heading into dangerous territory, he steered onto a safer topic. "When's the wedding?" he asked.

"A month. I think Tess and Charlie have already been accepted. Good work on Junior, by the way. I'm sorry I didn't do it myself."

"You had your chance, you told him to get out," Lupin couldn't resist gloating.

Andromeda actually looked embarrassed by that. "I should have killed him when I had the chance," she admitted. "I'm glad he's dead. I only wish you'd gotten to hurt him the way he hurt Tess."

Lupin grinned at that, reading between the lines and realising what Andromeda was loathe to admit. "You actually _like_ Tess, don't you?" he asked.

Andromeda gave him a pointed look, and Lupin knew better than to push the gloating too far when it came to his mother-in-law. "They're good for each other," she conceded, by implication meaning in a way that Charlie and Tonks had never been. "And if I couldn't have Charlie for a son-in-law, then uncle for Teddy will do. God knows, that boy needs someone with a sense of balance on a broom to look up to," she couldn't resist jabbing. Lupin poked his tongue out at her good-naturedly. Werewolves had an uncommonly good sense of balance on two feet and an uncommonly _bad_ sense of balance in the air, and Tonks, well, Tonks had been clumsy with two feel on the floor as it was.

He ended up having dinner with Andromeda and staying the night before he took Teddy and left for Hogwarts in the morning. He was greeted warmly by his colleagues and left a message with Neville to stop by for a drink after dinner if he wanted to. It was still the last days of summer holidays, and there was nothing wrong with the two of them getting happily drunk if they wanted to.

Neville came by with impeccable timing, just as he had put Teddy to sleep. "I hear congratulations are in order," Lupin greeted the younger man with. "And I heard about you loss. I'm so sorry."

Neville gave a small smile of gratitude. "Coming from you, that means a lot," he said. "People either think that it's a sudden loss or that it was so long ago that I must hardly care anymore." Lupin nodded understandingly. When the centre of your universe was in a coma, or barely able to feed themselves, and it went on for years – in Neville's case, decades – there came a point when you could only grieve so intensely for so long. There came a point where your grieving dulled a little and while you still cared deeply about them, you had to get on with your life. But that didn't mean you didn't care when you _did_ lose them. Lupin knew that if his wife were to die tomorrow, despite her being in a vegetative state for over four years, despite him falling for another woman, it would still devastate him.

So he could understand what Neville was talking about – a loss like that was neither the immediate loss as if a loved one had been fully alive one minute and dead the next, but nor was it as if they had died all those years ago when first struck down.

He invited Neville to sit down and listened patiently as Neville alternated between talking about his upcoming wedding and talking about growing up and what little he had known of his parents. "You know, when I first met you – Harry called it a hero-crush," Neville admitted as the hours went by. "I wanted you to be my dad so bad, and then of course I felt _so_ guilty about it."

Lupin smiled wanly. He knew that feeling only too well; it was how he felt about Tonks when he was with Ginny. He hadn't been to see his wife yet; he had no idea what he was supposed to say. "I saw a lot of me in you," he admitted. "Very talented, but... crippled by feelings of inadequacy. Harry never had that. He was so like James and Sirius it was ridiculous."

Neville looked flustered but clearly pleased. "I was wondering if you would be my best man," he blurted out.

"Er – thanks – but what about Harry or Ron?" Lupin asked, flattered but a little overwhelmed by the request. He was very fond of Neville, often thought of him as a quasi-son, but best man honours were something you tended to give to a close friend, not a colleague who had been in the same year as your parents.

"Ummm... because it involves a lot of work with the maid of honour – I love Luna, I wouldn't be marrying her if I didn't, but there's no way she can organise a wedding without Ginny to keep her on track – and things haven't quite been the same between Ginny and Harry since they broke up. After all that crushing she did on him for most of school, she realised it wasn't meant to be fast quicker than he did – and things would run a lot more smoothly if she were working with you, not Harry. Or even Ron," he added ruefully, because oddly, Ron was the most protective, even judgemental of Ginny's actions, and therefor the quickest to quarrel with her.

"Ginny's maid of honour?" Lupin asked dumbly. But of course; despite their different personalities, Ginny and Luna had been close friends since first year.

Lupin cocked his head. "Who else? She's far closer to Ginny then Hermione... and I don't think Hermione could tolerate Luna for an entire wedding's preparation. And it's not just for practical reasons, Remus. I'm closer to you then I am Ron and Harry, you know me better than them. I know it's not exactly conventional, but, well, I think convention went out the window when I started _seeing_ her, let alone tried to organise a wedding with her."

"I – uh – I – " Lupin fumbled for an excuse to turn down Neville's offer, made even the harder for the fact that it had been made in sincerity, even adoration. But there was no way he could undertake such a task with Ginny. If he was alone with her, and doing something so sentimental and romantic as helping to organise a wedding, they were likely to end up in the nearest bed... or on the floor... or in a storage closet, like he had with Tonks had finally ground him down and he'd agreed to get involved with her. "I – I'm not good with weddings," he admitted. "I can handle being a guest, but more than that... I didn't have a proper wedding – I mean, I was properly married but it was a quick Ministry thing – and getting involved with stuff like that makes me feel guilty. It's one more thing that I should have given her, and I didn't."

Neville looked chastened and apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't think," he said. "Of course, I understand. You don't even have to come if you don't want to."

"Neville, of course I want to come," Lupin said, feeling guilty because he was only turning down the honour because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep it in his pants if he was alone with Ginny. "I just think even Ron squabbling with Ginny or Harry mooning over her will make a better best man then me feeling guilty."

"I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to say to you," Lupin admitted to Tonks. "Especially now that I don't know how much of it you're actually processing. I would never have told you about Sarah – not that she meant anything to me, even at the time. I wish – I wish it was like things used to be. No, that's wrong. I wish I knew then what I know now... I wish I had known then how much you meant to me, how much you deserved from me, how much I should have given you." He took his wife's hand and clenched it in his own. It was remarkable, how she looked so like she had been since she had been struck down. She was closer to thirty than twenty-five now, and that showed a little in her face, but you wouldn't believe that over four years had gone by.

Four years of loneliness not really penetrated by the use of prostitutes, until Ginny had come along, and now he felt insanely guilty... even more so because he couldn't forget about Ginny.

But he vowed that if Tonks would wake up, he would do his best to try. And that meant returning to a celibate life in honour of his marriage vows.

* * *

><p>Almost-five-year-old Teddy Lupin expertly disarmed the basic spell that was cast around the children's area and, two-and-a-half-year-old Victorie Weasley in hand, they trotted out into the wider area. "Aren't you going to do anything?" Percy, by-the-book as always, asked incredulously to his brother.<p>

Bill waved dismissively. "Nah. He only tries harder then, and besides, he's very protective of her. I trust them together. Besides, they can't go anywhere. And he'll get bored once he's explored everywhere and bring Victorie back."

"You don't worry they might fall over something?" Percy asked.

Charlie laughed at that. "You clearly don't know Teddy. He's got a phenomenal sense of danger – and of balance. I've never seen him trip. Ever. If I didn't know that it couldn't possibly be a genetic thing, I would have sworn that he gets it from Remus." But everyone knew that a werewolf's sense of balance was part of their cursed physiology, and not something that they could pass onto their offspring.

Augusta Longbottom laughed at that. "I guess you don't remember this, Remus, but you were a phenomenal flyer for your age – maybe even better than James Potter. At least, John thought so. I often thought that was what he was most sore over."

"Because _that_ just made my opinion of him skyrocket," Lupin said dryly. While he had to concede that his father had done more than most parents would have done to find their child had become a werewolf, Lupin had learnt early on that the reason his parents had chosen to raise him as human had been entirely at his mother's insistence. So it didn't surprise him that his father had been disappointed that his son wasn't going to be a world-class Quidditch player when his lycanthropy screwed with his sense of balance on a broomstick. "But at least it explains where Teddy gets it from." He watched his son across the room, who was engrossed with Victorie, despite the fact that she was over two years younger than him – a veritable Grand Canyon for their young ages.

"I don't think you could be a prouder father," Charlie commented.

"Jealous, much?" Lupin teased.

"Why would I be?" Charlie asked. "I get this crazy-talented kid who I can be uncle to and hand back when he starts to be trouble." He ran his fingers lightly up and down Tess arm and shared a look with her that told everyone they were of the same opinion when it came to Teddy. Tess gave her husband a look that made Lupin's heart lurch. Ginny used to look at him like that.

Bill groaned. "Oh, for Merlin's sake, the two of you, go dance or something," he directed his brother and sister-in-law. Charlie and Tess went as the band struck up a jazzy number. "I blame you for this, Remus," Bill said. "They've been more disgustingly in love than ever since that episode with Junior."

"That's not funny," Lupin nearly snarled, thinking more about how Junior had attacked Ginny than the fact that he had attacked Tess.

"Sorry," Bill said contritely. He had momentarily forgotten how protective Lupin was of Tess.

Lupin had tuned out, and Bill let it go, knowing from experience that it was best to leave Lupin be when his temper was provoked like that – especially when it came to Tess. But he was actually watching Tess and Charlie, the way he had one arm wrapped around her waist and the other playing with her hair. They looked so in love, even after five years, and it was so easy to think of Ginny and how she didn't care any more about his lycanthropy then Charlie did of Tess's...

There was a flash of red and blue, and without realising, Lupin had focused his attention on Ginny and her cobalt-blue bridesmaid dress. She didn't look very comfortable, dancing with best man Harry; Lupin remembered how she would mould her body into his and just couldn't imagine her doing that with Harry.

An image of Harry holding Ginny the way he once had made him want to launch himself across the dance floor and physically separate the exes.

"Ginny? You OK? You seemed to tune out for a second there," Harry commented as casually as he could, because Ginny seemed _mighty_ distracted, and he didn't like Ginny being distracted when she was in his arms, even if it _was_ just on a dance floor for a wedding where they were both part of the bridal party.

"Fine," Ginny said, forcing herself to snap back to the here and now. It wasn't that she _minded_ dancing with Harry exactly, except she was aware that he had failed to see their imminent break-up in the way that she had. She had been apprehensive about being maid of honour to Harry's best man – but given that Neville had wanted Lupin as his best man, perhaps that was for the best.

_Remus_. Her heart had lurched to see him. And with Andromeda, too – she had known that they accompanied each other to these sorts of thing – 'dates' was too intimate a term for it – but seeing him with his mother-in-law brought home that he was married more than anything else had.

And yet, she couldn't stop looking at him, trying to steal glances that no-one else would notice. She kept thinking about how it felt in his arms, when he kissed her, the way he could make her laugh and think and feel safe in his arms even after she had been attacked by a werewolf...

"Gin? Hullooo?" Harry said softly, trying to sound casual but starting to get a little irritated that she kept spacing out on him.

Ginny snapped back. "Sorry, Harry," she said, smiling as brightly as she could manage when her thoughts were so full of her former lover. "I've just... never been this involved with a wedding before."

"You ever thought about getting married yourself?" Harry asked.

_Every day for six weeks_, Ginny thought – and since then, she had to admit. Even though she had known he was married, even though she had known that he would never get an annulment even if he could. "Not really," she said non-commitally. "I'm only twenty-one and I haven't met the right person yet."

"You and I had something pretty special, didn't we?" Harry said.

"We were children," Ginny deflected. "What we wanted then and what we need now are two different things." She had just been a girl, Harry had just been a boy... she stole another glance at Lupin and she wished it was him that she was dancing with. _Needed_ him, she amended according to what she had told Harry. She couldn't imagine being with anyone but him, she couldn't get over him, she couldn't forget him, no matter what he had asked of her.

Harry chuckled good-naturedly to mask the fact that he was a little hurt by her casual deflection. For someone who had had a crush on him for most of school, she had gotten over him pretty quickly. "You make it sound like we were Teddy and Victorie," he joked. "We were both adults. It wasn't _that_ bad, was it?"

She smiled at him, more genuinely this time, because it was a smile of nostalgia. "It was good, Harry," she told him, and it _had_ been, if only because they had been good friends, and still were, when Harry wasn't in one of his own moods.

Harry smiled at her, and went in to kiss her. Ginny pushed him away. "I didn't mean it like _that_!" she said.

"Why? Are you seeing someone?" Harry asked.

"No, but that doesn't mean I'm _looking_," Ginny said, taking a step away.

"Oh, come on, Gin, I didn't mean to offend you," Harry said, realising he had gone too far and misread the situation. He took a step towards her, hoping to have her back in his arms.

"Something wrong here?" Lupin asked, stealthily at Ginny's side, wedging himself seamlessly between the couple. He had seen the tension between the couple with his superhuman ability to read body language and hadn't been able to help himself; he'd mumbled an explanation about stretching his legs and gone to intervene in case Harry was getting a bit aggressive after a few drinks.

"Harry just... stepped on my foot," Ginny said lamely.

Lupin knew she was lying. Nonetheless, he laughed good-naturedly rather than make a scene. "Harry, you're the exact opposite of me, you know that. Dead clumsy on your feet and brilliant in the air. Why don't I show you how it's done?" he suggested pleasantly, holding out his hand to Ginny. "Miss Weasley?" he asked politely. Harry could do nothing without making a scene while Ginny accepted Lupin's hand – and he was forced to concede that the man _was_ far more graceful than him. _At least on his feet_, Harry added silently.

"What was that about?" he asked in a low voice so only Ginny could hear. He was grateful that the dresses Luna had chosen – blue for Ginny, bronze for Hermione – were strapless but high-backed, unlike the strappy, backless dresses that were fashionable at the moment. Such a dress would have made it very difficult for Lupin to put his arms around her waist and back without touching either bare skin or moving his hands low enough to be on her ass.

"He was nostalgic. He tried to kiss me," Ginny said.

"I could see that."

There was a tone in his voice that commanded her immediate attention. "Don't tell me you're jealous," she half-teased, half said in earnestness.

"Of _him_? I doubt it. You just pushed him away, remember?" he couldn't resist reminding Ginny, even though it was treading on dangerous territory.

Ginny couldn't help but glow at this. It felt so right to be in Lupin's arms, even though he was holding her very properly and not at all like her brothers held their wives – especially Charlie with Tess. Blind Freddy could see that those two were deeply in love even after five years of marriage and had eyes only for each other. "Tess looks happy," Ginny murmured after a few minutes, a touch enviously.

"You should have seen her after Junior attacked her," Lupin said dryly. "But for all he hurt her, I think it finally made her realise that Charlie was crazy about her and wasn't going anywhere."

"Guess Junior forced a _lot_ of feelings to the surface," Ginny couldn't resist digging.

Lupin's arms went tense around her, and she knew she had hit close to him – _too_ close. "Don't, Ginny," he pleaded. "Please, don't."

"Don't what?" she asked with false innocence.

"Don't... remind me... of us," he whispered painfully. "I didn't end it because I wanted to."

The tone of his voice said far more than his words – which were powerful enough as they were. "Remus," she said softly, alluringly. She tilted her head so she was staring directly into his eyes. And she saw in them that he had intervened between her and Harry because he had been jealous, and her heart soared at knowing that.

The song came to an end and he pushed her away as politely as he could. "Thankyou for the dance," he said stiffly, politely. "I enjoyed it." And with that, he made his swift exit, leaving a dumbfounded Ginny staring after him.

He still had feelings for her – she knew it. He wouldn't have admonished her for bringing up their affair, he wouldn't have looked at her the way he had, he wouldn't even have approached her if he didn't.

She could still feel the heat of his skin through her dress. She could so easily imagine him kissing her, holding her in a way that only a lover – and not just a dance partner – would. And she knew that he was thinking the same about her. She knew he was looking at her, despite the fact he tried not to.

"Remus, are you OK?" Tess asked him shortly after, sensing his distractedness.

He smiled as genuinely as he could manage. "I'm fine," he said. "Weddings just make me feel a bit flat. Reminds me of everything I should have given Dora."

"Remus, I'm so sorry." She threaded her fingers through his in a comforting fashion. "I wish I could do something for you. I feel guilty that Charlie and I are so happy," she admitted.

This time he _did_ smile genuinely. "Don't feel guilty, Tess. It makes me feel good to see you so happy with him. It makes me feel good to know that at least _one_ of managed to get it right."

Tess hugged him, and didn't realise that he subtly shifted her to get a clearer view of Ginny.

Ginny watched Lupin throughout the evening, determined to catch him alone. She eventually got her opportunity and cornered him in a corridor that was momentarily empty and quickly cast a concealing spell around them so to anyone who might pass by, there would only be an empty corner, utterly uninteresting. "You've been watching me all night," she informed him.

"I have not."

"Don't lie to me, Remus. I shared your life for three months and your bed for six weeks. I know you better than that." _I know the way your eyes dart around nervously when you're lying. I know the way you shift your weight onto the balls of your feet. I know the way you try to look defensive – like that_, she thought. "You've been looking at me all night – because you want me," she said triumphantly.

Lupin realised that there was no point in denying it. He never would have intervened between her and Harry – would never have _noticed_ a situation that maybe-didn't-even need intervening with in the first place – if he hadn't been watching her all night... if he didn't still care very much about her. "So what if I have?" he challenged.

"_So what if you have_?" Ginny asked. "You're kidding me. You don't think it doesn't mean anything that you're still hot for me. You still care about me," she prompted him.

He didn't bother denying that, either. "You were my world for six weeks," he admitted, and her heart soared at that, despite the sadness and bitterness in his voice at the admission. "I couldn't feel the way I did about you... and just switch those feelings off. But Ginny – Miss Weasley – I stopped it for a reason. We can't carry on here. It won't – "

He was cut off by Ginny throwing herself into his arms, kissing him passionately, and despite himself, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. Oh, sweet Merlin, she felt so good – as good as she had a month ago – maybe even better after a month without her. He had never been so attracted to a woman – not even his own wife. Despite himself, he picked her up and pushed her against the wall, thrusting his pelvis against hers as she wrapped her legs around his waist and she could feel himself hardening against her thigh...

He pulled away and looked wildly at her. "No," he protested weakly. "We can't."

"We can. We can be discreet. You can't tell me you don't want me."

"No," he said flatly. "I can't." And so Ginny launched himself at him again, and once more, he found himself unable to resist and they were making out against a dark corridor wall and she was pulling at his hair and scratching at his neck the way he liked so much. "Ginny," he groaned, burying his face in her shoulder. "Ginny, we can't," he protested, and he knew how weak his words sounded even to him and he knew that if he didn't compromise with her then he would screw her up against the wall, to hell with the consequences. And it was only a matter of minutes before people started wondering where they were and Ginny's concealing spell wouldn't hold up against the talents of much more powerful witches and wizards on an active search for them. "Ginny, slow down," he grunted. "I'll do you a deal. You stop now and I'll come by your flat after I'm done." If they were going to give into their feelings for one another – and deep down, he had always known that it was only a matter of time – then better it be in the privacy of her flat and dignity of her bed than against a wall at a highly-populated wedding.

She looked at him, torn between hope and suspicion. "You promise?" she asked suspiciously. "You're not just trying to get rid of me?"

_As if_. Ginny was perfectly capable of taking her anger out on him at Hogwarts if he tried to fob her off with such a transparent attempt to get rid of her. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just want to go about this in a more tasteful manner. OK?" She nodded. "Now, listen to me. It's Andy's weekend for Teddy so I can't leave until she does, or she'll get suspicious about why I don't want to spend all the time I can with him. But I promise, I'll come over after that, OK?" she nodded, and he leaned in to kiss her chastely.

When she lowered the concealing spell he walked away from her to rejoin the wedding celebration and _not_ raise suspicions about his absence. He knew as he walked away that there was no turning back now, and that he didn't want to.

* * *

><p>It was two in the morning. The wedding reception had closed at midnight, and Harry had insisted on the four of them – him, Ginny, Ron and Hermione – touring the all-night taverns of Knockturn Alley. Ginny just wanted to go home – not only because the seedier side of the magical community that was all-nightlife (which she had seen plenty of as Lupin's companion, and felt much safer in much riskier situations) but because she knew that if Lupin came by her flat and she wasn't there, he would leave and not come back... and she couldn't exactly go charging off to Hogwarts to give him a piece of her mind when <em>she<em> was the one who hadn't help up her end of the bargain.

That, and she didn't like being in this cosy foursome nearly as much as she had in the past. She still adored Ron and Hermione, and liked Harry when he wasn't in one of his nostalgic moods, but those days when they were two couples double-dating were long gone.

Harry seemed oblivious to Ginny's reluctance to traipse around Knockturn Alley, enjoying every moment of the seedier side of England's magical community. Ginny kept wanting to tell Harry that she had seen far more when travelling around Eastern Europe with Lupin, but held her tongue.

Eventually, it was Ron who intervened. "Give it up, mate," he told his best friend.

Harry tried to look innocent. "Give what up?" he asked.

"This double-date thing you're trying to do. It's not working. Ginny's obviously not interested. Look, you know that I liked you guys together – well, more than anyone else," he amended, because he had easily been the loudest opponent of the six of them to Ginny being with _anyone_. "And I'd love it if you guys got together. But right now – she's not interested. And dragging her around the place trying to rekindle the romance is doing the exact opposite."

Harry was forced to see Ron's point-of-view and didn't protest when Ron suggested calling it a night – although it was hardly _night_ anymore, it was past two in the morning. Ginny was sure Lupin had come and gone by now, but she still didn't want to be traipsing around Knockturn Alley in the early hours of the morning. She wanted to be in her warm, comfortable bed and feel sorry for herself that this opportunity had slipped through her fingers because of stupid Harry and his misplaced determination to get back together with her.

She got the Floo back to her flat and felt momentarily calmed. It had been Bill's idea that she get a place of her own, away for all her protective older brothers who couldn't see her as the adult she had become. She smiled at the memory. Bill – and then Charlie – had always been the most understanding and farsighted when it came to their kid sister; certainly more than Ron or even the twins (now, sadly, just George) were. It was small, but suited her needs – clean, airy, with all the magical conveniences. Coming home to her own place always made her feel calmer.

And then she remembered that Lupin had meant to come over and had no doubt come and left and her heart deflated. _Nothing I can do about it now_, she thought sadly. It wasn't like she could go and confront him at Hogwarts when _she_ had been the one to break their agreement; hell, it wasn't like she would have gone and confronted him at Hogwarts anyway.

Yawning, she headed towards her bedroom, and stopped dead in the doorway. Even in the darkness, she could see Lupin asleep in her bed, curled up on his side, his face buried in her pillow. Her heart leapt and she smiled at the image of her lover – _her lover_ – curled asleep, taking comfort from the pillow that smelled of her. She knew that was why he had done it because _she_ would have done the same thing were the situation reversed. _He hadn't left. He had stayed for her. _For all his apprehensions about getting involved with her,_ he had stayed. _Ginny wondered if this meant he really loved her, or merely cared deeply about her... with an red-hot attraction between them, to boot.

It didn't matter. She quickly changed into her pyjamas and crawled into bed beside him, positioning herself so he was spooning her.

Asleep but still sensing Ginny's presence, Lupin snaked his arm around her waist and nuzzled her neck. "Gin," he murmured sleepily. He wriggled against her to savour the feeling of her. Ginny smiled radiantly at that, although of course Lupin couldn't see that. But it meant more than she could possibly express that he had not only stayed, falling asleep waiting for her, but that he sensed her even in his sleep and cuddled up to her. She had always known that they had a connection that was more than purely sexual, she had never had such touching proof.

* * *

><p>Ginny woke up late Saturday morning to the smell of breakfast cooking. Wrapping herself up in her robe, she padded into the kitchen. She was greeted by the sight of Lupin cooking up a storm. "Thought you could do with something greasy," he offered. "You smelt like Knockturn Alley."<p>

Ginny made a face. "Don't remind me. Ha – er, a few of us went out after and I couldn't think of a good reason to say no."

Lupin smiled sardonically. "You don't have to refrain by speaking about Harry in front of me, love," he said. "I know it's over between you two." He flashed her a conspiring smile. "I saw last night, remember?"

She frowned sourly. "I wish _he_ would work that out," she complained.

"You're a difficult woman to get over, Gin," Lupin said softly. "I can't just him _too _harshly for that."

She walked over him and tentatively put her hand on his arm, half-afraid that she had imagined his presence. "I'm glad you stayed," she said shyly.

"I didn't intend to," he admitted. "I thought I'd just wait a few minutes and ended up falling asleep. Your pillow smelled of you," he said. He leaned in to kiss her forehead chastely, awkwardly. "We need to talk," he said. "But eat, first. I may be a Dark Creature, but I still provide for my girl."

Ginny sat down to a mountain of delicious food and guiltily remembered her own assumptions that werewolves couldn't cook to save their lives. It was true that Lupin would eat his steak raw if he could get away with it – he ate it extremely rare at public mealtimes – but at everything else he could surpass one of Hogwart's kitchen elves. "Sorry, it's not much," he apologised. "I'm spoilt for working at Hogwarts, I have access to any ingredient I want. Hell, I think Kreacher _wants_ me to come up with something exotic so he can demonstrate his loyalty to Hogwarts and go ferret out ingredients from the ends of the earth."

Ginny laughed at that; it was a spot-on assessment of the formerly surly, ungrateful house-elf that had been indentured to Sirius and then Harry. "It's not that it's not enough," she said, "it is – it's plenty – in fact, I don't know how I'm going to keep up with you, since your metabolism is so much faster than mine so you can afford to pack away more. I just... thought it was nice to have you make me breakfast."

"You're going to get sick of me making you food," Lupin predicted, and she knew that by ommitance he meant that eating in would be all they would be doing. But she didn't care.

They finished breakfast and Lupin set a self-cleaning charm on the dishes before he and Ginny settled down on the couch to talk. "We can't go out together – ever," he informed her. "We had six weeks together where we could go out in public and no-one cared – because no-one knew who we were. We won't have that luxury here. I can't even have you at Hogwarts. Minerva wouldn't even let Neville have Luna, do you really think having you stay with me is going to go down at all?"

"Of course not," Ginny said, although she hadn't actually thought about it _at all_. But Lupin had a point; they could only be together in her flat. But she didn't care.

"And I can only see you every second weekend – when Andy has Teddy," Lupin added, and Ginny's heart sank a little, because it was something else that she hadn't thought about, but of course made perfect sense. He could hardly bring his five-year-old son to their liaisons. Nor could he give Teddy to Andromeda every weekend – even if he _wanted_ to, which Ginny knew he never would – because his mother-in-law would immediately become suspicions that he was suddenly giving up something they both coveted beyond anything else. Their relationship would be strictly limited to every second weekend in her flat – and _only_ her flat.

She decided she didn't care.

"I can handle that," she said. "I had some idea that that was what it would be like. I don't care, Remus."

"You will," he warned her. "You're going to care when you want a boyfriend who'll accompany you to parties and you can have a drink with in Hogsmead. You're going to care when you see Luna and Neville together, and Ron and Hermione, and want the same thing. You're going to care about a lot of things eventually."

She couldn't imagine caring enough that she preferred to life without him than life with him in such a limited capacity. "Why did you come here if you're only going to try and talk me out to it?" she asked, stressing the _try_, because she had no intention of letting him succeed.

"Because I'm too in love with you to walk away and I'm hoping that you're stronger than me," Lupin said frankly.

Her heart skipped a beat when he said that. _Because I'm too in love with you_... It wasn't quite saying _I love you_, but it was more than he had ever said. "I won't walk away," she said. "You're stuck with me." And she slid into his lap and kissed him.

It was electric. It was intoxicated. Every fibre of his being screamed how wrong it was to be doing this – that he should go back to emotionless physical connections with prostitutes that wouldn't lead to complications down the track – but when he was kissing Ginny, _nothing mattered by kissing Ginny_. Nothing mattered more than wrapping his arms around her and kissing her and sliding his hands up her pyjama top. "Ginny," moaned as he kissed her. He pushed her down onto her back, not even bothering to get them to her bedroom. The couch would do; hell, a dirt floor would have sufficed.

They quickly stripped each other of their clothes so they were naked and he was inside her without thinking of it. It was an instinctive thing, an animal thing; the attraction they shared was difficult to fight, and neither of them wanted to. He pumped her furiously and she clung to him desperately as they barrelled towards a mutual and simultaneous orgasm...

Afterwards, he picked her up and carried her to her bedroom – and her bed, the bed they had shared, almost platonically, last night. They while away the better part of the day making love and making small talk, lover's talk, in between.

Suddenly something occurred to Ginny and she bolted upright in bed. Lupin smiled at the sight of her, completely naked, her natural state of undress somewhat at odds with the panicked look on her face. "Remus – what if I get pregnant?" she asked. She had used protection before, and was aware of the risks of being sexually active, but those consequences had never seemed quite so real as when her lover was married and in no position to marry her should that state happen.

He laughed. "Relax, Gin. My Wolfsbane is bound with a contraceptive. How careless do you think I am?" he asked.

"You sound like you wouldn't have had Teddy if you could have avoided it," she said, not sure if she should make it as a joke or a serious statement.

"I wouldn't have," he admitted. "I was terrified that he would turn out like me. Now that I know I can only have human children..." he trailed off, realising that this line of thought was leading into potentially hurtful territory. If he could, he would have more children with Tonks, now that he knew those children would be human, now that he knew how much joy he got out of being a father. But he could never have children with Ginny. The social laws of the magical community were too entrenched for them to go down that path. If he was free to marry her, well, they wouldn't have been the first couple to have a child born less than nine months after the wedding, but there was still the expectation that mother and father _would_ be married... especially when the mother was a pureblood. So being lax about contraception wasn't something that Lupin could afford.

Ginny understood exactly what Lupin meant, and her heart gave a painful little twist which she was careful not to show. She understood the necessity of children being off the table, but somehow, as soon as it had been said out loud – even by implication – she felt deeply deprived... for both of them.

She swallowed back her feelings. They were the things you had to accept if you were going to be involved with someone like Lupin... and she wanted that more than anything. Certainly more than the complication-free relationship she would get from a relationship with someone her own age, who was free to be with her.

Lupin sensed Ginny's disappointment as the realisation of the limitations of their relationship started to set in, and he was loathe to disappoint her even more, but he knew this was something that needed to be said from the beginning. "Look, Gin, I know I said every second weekend, but... if something comes up with Teddy, well, he's always going to be the number-one priority in my life. If he's sick or something, I won't just hand him over to someone else to take care if him – I'll give up my time with you to take care of him if that's what it takes. He means everything to me. He's all I have. I mean," he floundered, realising what a mis-step he'd made in such an admission, "I have you, too, of course, I didn't mean that the way it came out, but he's just a boy, he needs to come first in my life."

"I understand," Ginny said, choking back the added disappointment, because really, what did she expect? That when forced to choose, Lupin would take his adult mistress who was perfectly capable of looking after himself over his five-year-old-son who wasn't? "I wouldn't feel the way about you that I do if you weren't the kind of man who was devoted to his child."

He kissed her head softly. "Thankyou for understanding," he said quietly. Momentarily, he thought about Sarah – the first he had in years. The woman – girl, really – had never understood that he had several conflicting claims to his heart... not that Sarah had ever had a claim on his heart to begin with. He was grateful that Ginny understood that his five-year-old son – the only child he was likely to have – had to come first. But then, he wouldn't feel the way he did about her if she _didn't_ understand.


	6. Chapter 6

"You look relaxed," Neville noted when he returned from his honeymoon, Lupin returning at almost the same time from his non-custodial weekend. _Non-custodial weekend_ had been a euphemism – although it was true enough since he _didn't_ have custody of Teddy for those weekends – because the whole staff, and maybe some of the older students, knew that Lupin used these weekends to go to Knockturn Alley and patron prostitutes. No-one thought any less of him for it; since he'd discovered the pleasures that came with a relationship, he knew _he_ would go crazy under the kind of restrictions that the Lupin marriage was under.

"Er... I guess," Lupin said vaguely, because he knew that if he looked relaxed, it was because he had spent the weekend with Ginny, mostly in her bed – but occasionally in the living-room floor, against the kitchen counter... he blushed to think of it.

"That good, huh?" Neville asked. "Sorry, none of my business," he added when he immediately sensed that he had stepped into a personal boundary – and wasn't welcome there. What Lupin did in his own time was his business; certainly, he was discreet enough about it that not even Andromeda complained. (And Neville always knew when Andromeda complained, because she invariably complained to his grandmother. If Lupin and Andromeda were unlikely Gryffindor-Slytherin allies, then Augusta and Andromeda were even more unlikely ones.)

"How are things?" Lupin asked politely, eager to get the conversations away from him and his extracurricular activities. "Married life suiting you?"

"I like having her with me all the time," Neville admitted. "I hope she's not bored." Lupin smiled at that; Luna's child-like outlook on the world meant that the younger students had loved her the few times she was allowed to keep Neville company at Hogwarts. No doubt she would be popular with the students, especially when Sprout left and the girls needed a female to confide in.

"I take it you know Pomona's leaving at the end of the year?" Neville asked, meaning the school year at the beginning of summer.

Lupin nodded. "She's too nurturing a teacher to make a good disciplinarian for a place like this, but she'll be wonderful somewhere like Lady of the Lake. I've only heard good things about it."

"I wanted to go there," Neville said wistfully. Luna and Ron – and his brothers and sister – had gone there and loved it. "I hated Morganna's. Twelve years of Draco Malfoy and I'll be quite happy to never see him again."

That attitude didn't surprise Lupin in the slightest. Morganna's was considered to be the best elementary school for magical-born children – that was, the school that all the purebloods sent their children to. With a talent that had only started blossoming under the tutelage of Sprout and Lupin in his third year at Hogwarts, Neville would have been miserable when surrounded by the likes of Draco Malfoy. "Teddy's going to Lady of the Lake," Lupin said. "I'm going to miss him something chronic, but it's a weight off my shoulders knowing Pomona will be Headmistress."

"Really? Teddy's going to Lady of the Lake? Didn't Andromeda and Tonks both go to Morganna's?" Neville asked, surprised, because Andromeda Tonks was liberal and open-minded in some regards, but very tradition in others, such as education. "Did he – er – " Neville asked, stumbling on the awkward question: _had Teddy been rejected because his breed status was in question?_ Teddy had shown no sign of his father's lycanthropy, and there was very strong evidence to support the fact that Lupin _couldn't_ have anything but human children, but that didn't stop the more bigoted purebloods from holding his breed status in question.

"No, nothing like that," Lupin said. "At least, not that I know of – I wouldn't put it past Andy to have made inquiries behind my back. No, I don't _want_ him to go to Morganna's. It's full of pure-blood snobs. I wouldn't want him to be in that kind of place even if he _wouldn't_ cop abuse for being my son. Dora was miserable there because of her half-blood status and Andy, for all her good points, has a blind spot when it comes to things like Morganna's. The Weasleys and Luna went to Lady of the Lake and that's more than good enough for me."

"But – Andromeda wants him to go to Morganna's?" Neville asked.

"Andromeda doesn't get a say in it. Besides," Lupin said with a smile. "I let her talk for an hours, espousing the virtues of Morganna's. Had him half-won over too, I think. Then all I had to say was that Uncle Charlie had gone to Lady of the Lake and that was the end of it. Sometimes I'm glad he lives in Romania, else I might have a rival," he finished, laughing, because he knew that as much as his son adored his uncle, Charlie was never going to be a replacement for him as a father.

"I like Teddy," Neville admitted shyly. "I want one like him."

"No, you don't. He's got both our intelligence and his mum's ability to get into trouble."

"_Riiight_. Because you and Bill did _so_ much to stop him disarming the shield and going off on his own with Victorie. You _love_ having a bright, mischievous kid. I want one just like him... just without the family history of Slytherin."

"You've certainly changed your tune," Lupin noted.

"I always wanted to get married and have kids," Neville admitted. "And I knew it was hurting Luna's feelings that I couldn't commit the way she wanted... the way we both wanted. It was like... I was being torn in two directions. There was this part of me that wanted it _so much_ that it hurt and another part that was terrified of something happened like with my parents. It's not that I don't love Gran – I do – but I missed out on so much for not having them around and I didn't want to put my own kids through that. And seeing what you go through with Tonks..."

'What changed?"

"Lots of little things, incrementally. I love teaching and I love Teddy and wanted my own kids. And as the years went by and there were no reprisals I started to feel a bit more secure in the future."

Lupin grinned. "You do realise that I was executing a two-pronged attack with your grandmother? I made sure Teddy was always around when you dropped by and she kept guilting you about how much she envied Andromeda for seeing her grandson all the time. Though I guess in her case she wanted a great-grandson."

Neville had to laugh at that; it made perfect sense. "One day I realised that I could wait my whole life and I was never going to get over the feeling of abandonment or fear that I would do that to my own kids and that I should go for it before Luna got fed up of waiting for me and found someone who realised what a great girl she was."

"And how do you feel about your parents?" Lupin asked, and they both knew he meant how did he feel three months after their deaths.

"I miss them," Neville said frankly. "I always will. I didn't think it was _possible_ to miss them the way I do, I never knew them. And for a while, I felt guilty – if I hadn't told them about Luna and I, maybe they'd still be alive. And then I realised how stupid that was. I truly believe that they went because they knew I was happy and that they'd been holding on for that. To go knowing that your kid is happy and loved – there are far worse things a parent could want," Neville said, and Lupin was reminded why the young man was the youngest Professor since at least Snape – he had a wisdom that belied his twenty-two years. Lupin was suddenly reminded of Ginny, who possessed that same wisdom, and he hoped his thoughts weren't written all over his face. "I think they knew they weren't coming back," Neville said. "There must have been some degree of consciousness, some understanding in there. I like to think that they were happy for me. Sorry," he said when he saw the look of deep thought on his colleague and friend's place. "I didn't mean to dredge up the memories."

"You didn't, Neville. You just gave me something to think about. I always hoped that Dora had some comprehension of what I was telling her. It comforts me to know that there's something of her still in there." And as he said the words, he knew that he had to be honest with his wife, and hope that she understood why he was doing what he was, because conscious or not, he owed her that honesty.

* * *

><p>"I love you," Lupin said to his wife late in the evening a few days later. "I should have known it sooner, I should have <em>told<em> you sooner. I should have appreciated it. I was so lonely without you, but I never meant for this to happen – I swear." Lupin took Tonks's hands in his and held them tightly, feeling the _cling_ of their wedding rings against each other. "She makes me feel good," he admitted. "The way you used to – do you remember the way you used to rub my shoulders after a transformation? I missed that more than I missed the sex, that was just a ...physical release. And then I had this amazing woman who made me feel loved and wanted and not an animal. I never understood that difference until I was with you and I wish I'd known that sooner – told you sooner. I wish I still had you with me. But – when I'm with her... I feel _happy_ again. She makes me feel the way _you_ made me feel. And I feel awful for betraying you like this – I wish you were still here with me –" he blathered. "What I'm trying to say is – I hope you understand. I never wanted to hurt you and I never planned to cheat on you."

Lupin felt tears coming to his eyes and felt ripped apart by guilt, and yet still felt a driving urge to be with Ginny. "I miss you _so_ much, and Teddy misses you, too." If Neville could miss his parents, than Lupin figured that so could Teddy – like all good parents, he considered his own son to have vastly superior intelligence to everyone else's, even that of a man who was colleague and friend. "If you came back to me, I'd try so hard to get over this – I _would _get over it," he said resolutely, because although it killed him to think of not being with Ginny, he knew that he owed it to his wife to make their marriage work... should she come back to him. "But I hope you understand," he said. He knew that, should the situation be reversed, he wouldn't be so understanding – even now, the thought of Tonks and Charlie together made his heart writhe with jealousy, and that had been years before he had known her. (At least as an equal, he thought wryly, because he had known her as 'Andromeda's daughter' for a good twenty years.)

"I don't know why I'm telling you this," he admitted. "I need to be honest with you and I like to think that there's a part of you that understands me... even though you must hate me for hearing this." _I know I'd hate you if I the situations were reversed_, he thought, of course not daring to say such a thing out loud. But then, wasn't hate sometimes an indication of how much you loved someone? He remembered his affair with Sarah – he hadn't cared about her promiscuous history because he hadn't cared enough about her to consider her 'his' to be jealous over. Whereas with Tonks... or Ginny... "I just wanted you to know," he finished helplessly.

* * *

><p>Ginny greeted him at the fireplace with excited kisses. It had been three weekends now – four weeks – and the fortnight in between was hard. Lupin was wracking his brains for a way to see more of Ginny, but he knew that there was no way he could arrange something regular without raising at least the suspicion of his colleagues. For the foreseeable future, it was alternate weekends only, and he already wanted more. They both did.<p>

It would be so easy to not tell Ginny about his last visit to his wife – she knew he visited Tonks regularly, and while she didn't like it, she knew it wouldn't be fair to ask him to stop it, but she didn't know _what_ he had said to her – but his sense of decency forced him to be upfront with her. "Ginny, Gin, please," he said, reluctantly pushing her away when he wanted to scoop her up in his arms and take her to bed. "Gin, stop it. We need to talk."

Ginny pulled away from him abruptly, his words putting an immediate dampener on her excitement. When he spoke like that he was trying to put a me-professor-you-student barrier between them. Was he trying to call it off? "What is it?" she asked in a small, tight voice.

"I saw Dora last week," he said. "I told her about us."

"_WHAT?_" Ginny asked incredulously. "What would posses you to do such an idiotic thing? You don't know _how_ much she can hear, how much she can understand. Look at Neville's parents." What she had once thought was spooky and romantic in a tragic way – his parents dying after over twenty years in a drooling state upon hearing of their son's happiness, somehow understanding what they were being told – seemed tawdry when it came to her lover telling his wife about him.

"I felt I had to," Lupin said quietly, and she saw that resolute honour in his eyes that was part of the reason she had fallen for him – but now she deeply resented in him. "I felt she had a right to know."

He didn't add _if she wakes up, it's something we would have to work through_, because deep down Ginny had known that, as unlikely as that was to happen, if Tonks was to come back to the world of the fully living, Lupin would go back to her. He had to. There was no divorce, no annulment when there were children... and he wouldn't put Teddy through a broken home, anyway. But still, it infuriated Ginny – and worse, made her feel cheap, made her status as the other woman, the mistress, more concrete. "And you think she took it well?" she asked sarcastically. "How would _you_ feel if the situation were reversed? How would you feel if it was here and Charlie?" her pride couldn't resist flinging in his face, because she knew how touchy he was about Charlie and Tonks's enduring friendship that had once been a relationship.

"I'd hate her," Lupin said frankly. "And I'd probably kill him. But I'd still try to get over it. I owe it to Teddy."

Ginny hated when he talked about his son and marriage with that quiet conviction. His feelings for Tonks hadn't died like they would have in an acrimonious split – or even a harmonious one – but merely gotten to the point where he couldn't continue grieving deeply for her and had to negotiate the best situation he could between being married and being widowed Even comatose for close to five years, she was still there, and Ginny knew that if a miracle should happen and she came back fully to the land of the living, Lupin would leave her. Tonks would always win if he had to choose between the two of them, no matter how he felt about Ginny – because Tonks was his wife and the mother of his son. Ginny had known all this when they had first started their relationship, but times like this brought it uncomfortably close to him.

"I'm sorry I upset you," Lupin said, and Ginny caught what he wasn't saying; he was sorry that his actions had upset her, but he wasn't sorry that he had committed them. "Do you want me to go?"

"I think that would be for the best," Ginny said tersely. "I don't feel like having sex with you right now."

"Ginny," Lupin said softly, his affection for her creeping into his voice and halting the feelings of disappointment, anger and jealousy that were churning away in her heart. "I'll understand if you want me to go. I know I've upset you and I hate doing that to you. But I don't come here just to have sex with you. If that's all I wanted – " he stopped there, because he knew there was no way he could refer to his visits to Knockturn Alley without making the situation worse. "When you were with me during the summer, before we – er – got involved, I was so happy. I had this intelligent, gorgeous woman who loved my company and cared about as much about my lycanthropy as if it wasn't there. It was like – it was a little like being with Lily again."

She knew how much Lily Evans-Potter had meant to him, and she couldn't help but be flattered by the comparison. "Really?" she asked.

"We were Head Boy and Girl together," Lupin recalled. "We used to spend hours together. She didn't like Quidditch anymore than I did – although I admit, my reasons were largely to do with jealousy whereas she just found it boring – devouring whatever knowledge we could lay our hands on. You actually reminded me a little of her the first time I meant you, when you were in second year." Privately, Lupin had had a theory that Harry's interest in Ginny had stemmed from an odd variation on the idea that boys often fell for women who reminded them of their mothers, and vice versa. "She made me laugh and feel good about myself, I was always happier for being around her. You have those same qualities. I never enjoyed my summers travelling so much as when I was with you. I wouldn't have fallen for you if I hadn't."

Ginny's heart melted when he said this. To be compared favourably to Lily Potter was a huge compliment in itself, to be compared favourable to her by _Lupin_ was something far beyond that. "I didn't realise you felt that way," she said. "About me, I mean." It was common knowledge that he and Lily had been extremely close.

Lupin cocked his head. "I would have thought that was obvious," he said. "I wouldn't have gotten involved with something so... _complicated_ if I wasn't so damn crazy about you."

Upon hearing this, she threw herself into his arms. "I love you," she said, her voice muffled from her face being buried in his shoulders.

He held her closely to his chest and patted her back lovingly. He couldn't bring himself to say the words back – it would be yet another betrayal to Tonks – but he didn't doubt the sincerity of her words and deep down, knew that they were returned.

* * *

><p>"Remus! <em>Stop fidgeting!<em>" Andromeda hissed at her son-in-law.

Lupin stayed as still as he could. "Sorry," he said. "I'm not good at official functions." A new wing was being opened at St. Mungos, and since it was being named in honour of Tonks, he had to be there.

Thanks to Andromeda's open-minded policy of including muggle-borns and half-breeds on the staff of Healers and researchers at St. Mungo's, positions that had until a few years ago been restricted to purebloods – and the occasional half-blood who was particularly brilliant and dedicated to pureblood values – she had a much wider choice of applicants to choose from, and by extension, a much greater talent pool. Such as Hermione Granger – now Weasley – whose research and experimentation with healing spells had led to a potion that could reverse the spells that caused serious brain damage such as that to Frank and Alice Longbottom and Nymphodora Tonks, if treated within a few days. Of course, at this point in time it couldn't help Tonks – the damage seemed to be progressive – and it was too late for the Longbottoms, but it was, nonetheless, a major breakthrough.

And it was fitting that this new wing be named after Nymphodora Tonks, only child of the current administrator – not to mention first administrator in over a hundred years to play an active role in the hospital – and naturally, said woman's husband was expected to be there. And Lupin _hated_ official functions. True, things were a lot easier for a werewolf to live openly, but those were things that had only changed over the last few years, and the balance was far in favour of the years that he had spent feared and hated. He remained uncomfortable, even paranoid that behind those Ministry smiles was disgust.

At least Kingsley Shaklebolt was here. Kingsley and Andromeda had been two of his biggest advocates – Kinsley out of genuine friendship and a desire to see the magical communication driven my merit and not blood- or breed-status; Andromeda more out of self-preservation – it suited her to have her son-in-law accepted, if only for the sake of her grandson. And Hermione was here; the girl was bright with a third for knowledge that surpassed even Ginny (though she often reminded him of her brother-in-law Percy with her know-it-all nature) so at least there were a _few_ people here that Lupin felt comfortable around.

Still, he wished he was back at Hogwarts. McGonagall wouldn't _hear_ of him turning down the St. Mungo's event on the grounds he had classes to teach; she had taken over his Friday classes herself. So here he was, nervous and fidgety and way out of his comfort zone – he was far more at home traipsing around Eastern Europe, mingling with Dark and Dangerous Creatures – then he was being centre stage at official Ministry functions. "I'm not good at official functions," he said to Andromeda. "We could be doing far more productive things than smiling for _The Daily Prophet_." He scowled when he spotted Rita Skeeter, who would have happily torn him apart in print if it wasn't for the fact that he was under Andromeda's protection and that wasn't someone that the so-called 'journalist' wasn't prepared to take on.

"I don't like them either," Andromeda said with cool professionalism.

"Yeah, but you were _raised_ to do this kind of crap," Lupin countered, then decided from the withering look that she gave him that it was best if he shut his mouth on the subject. At least when it was over he could go to Ginny; he might even get out earlier than he usually did, if this thing finished before his classes usually did.

So he smiled for the cameras – managing to look appropriately sad at the same time – while Andromeda have a powerful speech about the need for unity and seeking talent based on merit, not blood- or breed-status, with an added regret that this breakthrough wasn't able to help her own daughter. She was a powerful orator – Lupin might make pot-shots about her being raised to do such things, but the truth was, she _had_ been raised to be a leader in the magical community – the fourth-in-line to the heir of the Black fortune growing up and now, with the deaths or Sirius, Regulus and Bellatrix, the outright heir. And perhaps better suited to the role than any of her predecessors, because Sirius had loathed everything the Black name stood for, Regulus had been an untested element and Bellatrix had been flat-out crazy. But Andromeda was highly educated and articulate, and had always been a strong advocate in unity and meritocracy.

Finally, the speeches were over, but Lupin wasn't about to get out early – there was still lunch and a _lot_ of socialising to do, and he didn't dare go until Andromeda said it was OK to do so. In some ways, he had the upper hand in their relationship because of Teddy, but there were some things he didn't dare cross her over, and this was one of them.

The day wore on and turned into evening, and the evening wore on so by the time it was finally over Lupin didn't think there was any point in going to Ginny's and wake her up. He figured it was best to return to Hogwarts for the night and head out again first thing in the morning.

* * *

><p>Mid-afternoon on Friday, when the early edition of the weekend <em>Daily Prophet<em> came out, Ginny was furious. Her fury stewed all afternoon and all night, growing all the more potent at Lupin didn't show up. She had known he had something on to do with St. Mungo's – he had been vague about it, only that Andromeda had commanded him and it was something he didn't care to fight her on, and that he didn't know when it would finish but hopefully early afternoon.

Well, now it was Saturday morning and he _still_ hadn't shown up.

With nothing else to do without Lupin to target her rage on, Ginny reread the article. Rita Skeeter had waxed lyrical, even going so far as to paint Lupin in a favourable light, the tragic sort-of widower whose wife had been struck down a mere year into her marriage, left to raise a young son on his own. Skeeter might hold half-breeds in contempt, but she held Andromeda Tonks-nee-Black in a strong mixture of fear and awe – therefor, anyone under Andromeda's protection was to be treated with the same awe.

Come to think of it, Hermione had mentioned the new wing opening at St. Mungo's – Ginny hadn't paid much attention because she had never been hugely interested in Healing and the goings-on of St. Mungo's, and quite frankly, Hermione could be a right bore when it came to something she was passionate about, like the research work she was doing for St. Mungo's. So she hadn't inquired any further into it, and her interest hadn't been piqued when Lupin had said he might be late on Friday because he had to do something with Andromeda. So she hadn't given it enough thought to realise that the 'something' to do with Andromeda was most likely about St. Mungo's.

And there it was, in black, white and sepia – the new wing opening at St. Mungo's dedicated to reversing the brain damage done to people like Alice and Frank Longbottom and Nymphodora Tonks. There was a whole half-page story dedicated to Tonks and her tragically motherless son and what a valiant job Lupin was doing raising on his own. Not to mention a bit about Lupin as the tragic-kind-of-widower and his devotion to his comatose wife. It was sickening, really, and if Ginny hadn't been so hurt and angry, she would have gotten a perverted sense of pleasure out of knowing how it must have pain Rita Skeeter to write such kind – if completely overblown – things about Lupin.

_Lupin. Her lover._ He would have known that the press would be out in full force – who could resist such a feel-good story? – and he hadn't bothered to tell her. Had he thought he could get away with it, or had he just not cared weather she found out or not?

She reread the bit about Tonks's young and tragic fall and Lupin's loss and devotion to his wife, and her heart burned and bled at the same time. It had been so long that Tonks was barely mentioned anymore, the same way that by the time she had come to know Neville, his parents weren't mentioned. There was only so much a person to be in the same half-living state before they had to slide onto the backburner of public awareness. So it wasn't like she was involved with one-half of a _high-profile_ marriage. And this new wing, this publicity, had bumped it back to high-profile, at least for a little while.

And Lupin hadn't even bothered to tell her in advance.

She felt betrayed. She felt cheap. She felt as valued as one of the prostitutes he visited, whose services he paid for and who he owed no loyalty, no consideration in return. Only she was the idiot who wasn't even being _paid_ for her services.

She had worked herself in a right fury by the time Lupin finally arrived early Saturday morning – fury tinged by hurt and humiliation. "Gin, sorry I didn't come yesterday," Lupin called through the small apartment the second he arrived. "We didn't finished until late at night and I didn't want to wake you up so I went back to Hogwarts."

She came at him like a banshee – and he should know. "You _bastard!_" she screamed at him. "You lying – cheating – callous – _bastard!_"

Deep down, he knew what this was about. _The Daily Prophet_ was the top paper in England's magical community, there was no way she would have missed it, even to just give it a cursory glance – and a cursory glance would have led to a word-for-word read once she saw the subject of the front-page headline. "Ginny, I – " he started, by Ginny was too full of fury and hurt to pay him any mind.

"I – _trusted_ you – with my _heart_ – and you – _blather on _– about your _wife_ – for _everyone_ to read!"

"Ginny, I didn't say that!" Lupin protested. Typical of Rita Skeeter, she had made up suitable quotes and attributed them to people who had never spoken them. Just because she had made up something _favourable_ about him this time (and it wasn't too favourable from where he was standing) didn't make it any less made-up.

"Like shit you didn't," she spat at him, although she knew full well how willing and able Rita Skeeter was at making stuff up. She waved the paper furiously in his face. "Do you have _any_ idea how I felt to read this?" she screamed at him. "_I miss her every day_," she quoted from memory. "_There was never anyone else for me and there'll never _be_ anyone else for me_. It's fucking _humiliating_, Remus. You told the whole fucking _world_ that _she_ is the love of your life and no-one else will ever mean anything – not even me." If there was no-one else for him, she thought, then what did that make her other that a whore who was too silly to collect payment for her services?

"Well, it's not like anyone knows about us," Lupin said lamely.

It was the worst possible thing to say; it reminded her that their affair had to be kept a secret. "_Bastard!_" she screamed at him, striking him, raking her nails down his cheek viciously. "Get out!" she screamed, pounding her fists ineffectually on his chest. "If I don't mean anything to you then – _get – out! I don't want to see you again!_"

_If she didn't mean anything to him? _She meant _everything_ to him. She meant more to him then – but he pushed that disloyal thought away hastily. As she was striking out at him and screaming at him, the threat of losing her snapped something in her and he grabbed her forcefully. Her words had awoken in him a wild sense of possession and he knew that there was no place he could be right now but with her.

Ginny resisted his embrace. "Get out!" she screamed at him again, although even as she struggled against him, she could feel the force in his hold – a force that she had never witnessed in him before, not even that first night they had gotten together, that first kiss when he had been terrified that he would lose her to Junior's sick obsession with revenge... She pounded on his back as he closed the gap between them, his chest hard against hers, and kissed her hard, bruising.

"_Mine_," he growled. "You're mine. I love you. I won't lose you."

She fought against him, her efforts fuelled by anger and hurt, but he was stronger and the more fiercely he kissed her, the more she felt her desire to fight draining her. She felt him tearing at her dress, gathering a fistful of material at the neckline and ripping it clean down the middle. She returned the favour, tearing his shirt down the back, raking her nails down his back, digging them into his skin, drawing back. He arched his back at the pain, a basic, animal thrill stirring inside him that she cared so much to scream and inflict violence in a jealous rage.

And then they were on the floor, literally tearing at each other's clothes, and she was fighting him, unleashing her fury on him, at the same time that she was welcoming his advances. He caught her wrists in one hand, pinning them against the floor above her head, using his free hand to yank down her panties so she was completely naked under him. A few seconds later, he was naked himself and, thrusting one knee in between her legs to spread them before pushing himself roughly inside her without bothering to make sure she was ready for him.

He needn't have worried. He grunted when he felt how wet she was, so warm and slippery, and for a few seconds he found it difficult to stay inside her until he found his rhythm. He let go of her hands and she brought them around to his back, cupping his ass, digging her fingers into his buttocks, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist, urging him deeper inside her, to ride her hard and fast. He kissed her hard, deeply, and she returned it.

She yanked at his hair so his head was forced back and buried her face in his neck, biting him, her teeth sinking into his flesh. He could feel the pain even through the white-hot passion but didn't care. He held her tighter as he felt himself start to orgasm and knew that they would climax together. "I love you," he repeated in the throes of passion...

With the immediate desire sated – and the immediate threat of her leaving passed – they lay together on the floor. "Calmer?" he asked laconically.

"Did you mean it?" she asked.

"Mean what?"

"That you love me."

"Yeah. I thought you knew that."

"How am I _supposed_ to know that, Remus? You made it clear that Teddy's your priority. You didn't even bother to tell me about this St. Mungo's thing," she said, waving her hand in the direction of the discarded paper.

"I couldn't get out of it, Gin. It's something that's so important to Andy because of Dora."

"I know you couldn't... but you could have told me. Did you think I wouldn't find out about it? Did you think I wouldn't read the _Daily Prophet_? That Hermione or Neville wouldn't say anything to me? I deserve a little more than finding out about stuff like this from someone other than you... _especially_ a hack like Rita Skeeter."

Lupin cringed to think about how much he had hurt Ginny. "I know," he said. "And I'm sorry. I'm not good at this," he admitted, meaning the subterfuge involved with an affair and the considerations he had to take with Ginny that weren't needed with prostitutes.

She smiled ruefully at that. "I supposed that's a good thing," she said. "Means you haven't had much practice... means there wasn't anyone special enough to practice _on_."

He kissed her. "You know you're pretty damn special. I love you," he said again. Then he flexed his shoulders and could feel the blood running down his back. "You've made a complete mess of me, you minx," he said.

"You want me to fix that?" she asked.

"It'll be fine. Werewolf healing, remember. I just need to have a shower and clean up. Care to join me?" he asked, and for the time being, the crisis was over.

* * *

><p>"Ouch, that looks nasty," Neville said when he invited himself into Lupin's rooms late Sunday evening after Teddy had gone to bed for drinks. It was something they had been doing for years, and Luna knew better than to object to a tradition between her husband and the closest he had had to a father-figure. Someone had bitten into his shoulder, and bitten hard. "Your mistress do that?" he asked with feigned casualness, because it was something he and many of the other Hogwarts staff had been suspecting for a while.<p>

Lupin did his best to look completely ignorant, when he knew that Neville wouldn't have brought it up if he didn't have a damn strong suspicion. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said.

"Oh, come off it, Remus. The whole staff knows, we've just been too polite to bring it up. You haven't been to Knockturn Alley in months, but you're still going away for your non-custodial weekends. And you've been happier than I can remember you being. I take it you haven't – er – been partaking in Sarah Callahan's services anymore?" he asked. It had been Ginny who had gleefully discovered that her rival worked Knockturn Alley (how Ginny had found this out, no-one wanted to know).

"I _never_ employed her services, thankyouverymuch," Lupin said. "Once was enough. She wanted too much from me."

Lupin's affair with Sarah Callahan had been a badly-kept secret, as was it ending because Sarah had wanted more from him – although what she thought a married man could give her was unknown. "And this woman doesn't?" Neville asked.

There was no point in denying it; Lupin supposed he _had_ been naive to think that no-one would realise he had stopped visiting Knockturn Alley and taken a mistress. "She knows the limitations," he said softly. "She wants more – _I_ want more – but it can't happen."

"And if Tonks wakes up?"

Lupin cringed; it had been at the back of his mind since he had started his relationship with Ginny. "I go back to her," he said. "And hope that we can get through it. I can't do anything else."

"And she knows this?" Lupin nodded. "She must be an incredible woman," Neville said.

"She is."

There was an odd silence between the two men, and Lupin knew Neville well enough to know what he was thinking. Despite his sheltered, conservative upbringing, he got the place that prostitution held in any society, and that it was naive to expect _any_ man, let alone one with a werewolf's sex drive, to remain faithful to a comatose wife for five years. But even prostitution could only give him so much, particularly for a man like Lupin who felt and cared so much. Men with far less cause to take a mistress had taken them far sooner into their marriages. Idly, Neville wondered just how special this woman was that Lupin would engage in an affair; he was painfully aware of how little he had to offer a woman. It wouldn't be an easy relationship for either of them.

And yet... despite his own repugnance at the thought of marital infidelity, he was happy for his colleague. The loneliness had taken its toll on Lupin, that had been obvious, as obvious as his happiness the last three months. When you were as close to Lupin as Neville was, who could begrudge the man for finding a little happiness amid the misery that had been his life?

Somehow, Lupin doubted that Neville would be so happy for him if he knew who his mistress was.


	7. Chapter 7

"We're packed?" Lupin asked when he saw the suitcases near the fireplace in the Tonks home.

"Yes. Bill invited us to Shell Cottage for Christmas. Said he's got enough people coming that we may as well join the party. That, and when Teddy finds out that Charlie was in England for Christmas and we _didn't_ go, we'll never hear the end of it – and he _will_ find out," she concluded, because she had always thought that her grandson got his intelligence from her.

Lupin was too stunned and concerned to bother getting into his usual squabble with Andromeda over where Teddy had gotten his intelligence from. _Shell Cottage? For Christmas? _"Who else is going to be there?" he asked with false casualness, because he knew perfectly well who was going to be there – everyone, and then some.

"The six of them, plus their spouses – Fleur, Tess, Audrey, Angelina, Hermione. Harry. Neville and Luna. Augusta was invited but she's doing something with her family. And Xenophilius, which should make things interesting," Andromeda finished. She liked Luna – and Neville had been a sobering influence on Luna, just as Luna had brought out his more whimsical side – but her father was something else entirely. "So eighteen, including the three of us."

_Eighteen_. So that included Ginny. Which naturally, it would, but the idea of being in such close quarters to her over such a sentimental holiday and having to pretend that they were nothing more than acquaintances? What _was_ their public relationship, anyway? She was the sister of his brother-in-law (and since he and Tess were pack-siblings, not blood-siblings, there was some contention within more traditional circles that that didn't even count, although not, of course, in the Weasleys). By rights he should see her a few times a year, whenever Bill organised something like this. When in actual fact he'd been screwing her brains out every second week.

"Remus, you OK?" Andromeda asked idly.

"Fine," he said, and he couldn't believe that Andromeda actually bought his weak smile. _Oh, shit, I am in so much trouble_.

* * *

><p>"I take it this place <em>is<em> actually bigger than the last time I was here and it's not just my imagination?" Lupin asked. Shell Cottage appeared to have been considerably enlarged.

Bill grinned in welcome. "I got by when they were all single," he said. "I couldn't when they all started marrying and there was so much left over after Ginny's flat that I started expanding this place." Natural, really, since Bill was now head of the Weasley family, which made Shell Cottage a natural hub for the family. "I'm up to a dozen bedrooms. At least that accounts for everyone, a nursery and five extra rooms." Which, if you did the math, currently made a full house. "We have to eventually stop expanding."

Andromeda was wandering through the downstairs, which was fitted with a large dining area and a large recreational area. "The house I grew up in wasn't this large," she mused. "If there was anyone left to gloat _to_, you could have a field day." She didn't sound the least bit sad about the death of her older sister or incarceration of her younger one. In fact, she had taken great pleasure in turning Black House into an oversized convalescence ward for patients who didn't need the round-the-clock care of St. Mungo's but still needed a degree of professional care in their recovery. "And it's nicer, too," she added, and Lupin could have sworn he heard the teeniest amount of wistfulness in her voice. Because if Black House had been anything like Number 12 Grimmauld Place, it had had a stifling atmosphere, whereas Shell Cottage was clearly a place where everyone was welcome and the house simply accommodated itself to everyone's comings and goings.

"Everyone's out the back," Bill said. "Come through."

They were the last to arrive, even after Luna and Neville, but then, he'd gone by Andromeda's place thinking that was where he was spending Christmas. Teddy immediately ran towards Victorie and hugged her. Andromeda shot Lupin a look: _How did I get so involved with this family? _she asked. _That's what they do_, Lupin shot back with his own look. The Weasleys had a way of incorporating every good-natured soul that they met along the way into their ranks.

Lupin's attention was caught by something zooming through the winter sky with the speed and skill that only a Quidditch champion – even just at Hogwarts level – could do. "What on earth is Charlie doing?" he asked, although he had a sinking feeling he knew _exactly_ what his brother-in-law was doing. Attached to the end of Charlie's broomstick was a seat, and strapped into _that_ was a Teddy-sized doll which Lupin had no doubt had been charmed to be Teddy-weight.

"That's for me!" Teddy squealed excitedly, and for once in their proud careers as father and grandmother, Lupin and Andromeda were sorry that the boy had such quick intelligence. Even for the advanced skill at his age, he lacked the ability to fly on anything more advanced than a toy broomstick that hovered a few meters from the ground – nothing which would result in more than a broken bone should he fall. They were good for teaching children the basics of flying, but with his natural talent for it and yearning to do the real thing – a talent and yearning that, if Augusta Longbottom were to be believed, he had inherited from his grandfather – he had soon grown tired of his toy broomstick. Especially when he had seen the awesome things that Uncle Charlie could do.

Which explained why Charlie was flying so low and slow for someone of _his_ ability – he was getting the hang of flying with the extra weight. "Over my dead body, Charlie Weasley!" Lupin yelled into the sky.

Charlie heard him, and brought his broomstick down and hopped onto the ground with enviable agility. "He'll only go and steal one from the school shed," Charlie pointed out. "Isn't it better that he get a feel for it flying with me before he tries it on his own?"

"You just want to show off by proving you can do all your tricks with a five-year-old strapped to the back of your broom," Lupin countered. Charlie grinned at that and didn't deny it. He glanced over at Andromeda; for all their differences and initial acrimony, they were very much in sync when it came to Teddy, and he knew from the look on her face that she shared his thoughts. Loathe though they were to admit it, Charlie was right – Teddy loved to fly, and would eventually find a way to get hold of a broom before he was old enough to fly if they kept limiting him to a toy one. Who better to fly with than Charlie? There was no-one either of them knew who did it better – well, apart from maybe Harry, and Harry didn't have the same bond with Teddy, and therefor the same investment in keeping him safe. "Fine," he said grudgingly. "But if _anything_ happens to him – "

Squealing, Teddy ran up to Charlie and held his arms above his head in an _up_ motion. Charlie picked him out, Teddy's five-year-old legs wrapping around his uncle's waist, his five-year-old arms clinging around Charlie's neck. "Wanna go up!" he proclaimed.

Charlie laughed. "Not just yet, kiddo," he said. "You're dad's quite right to be concerned. Let me get some practice in until I feel confident." Teddy scowled at that, but seemed to understand that it was the best he was going to get.

Lupin smiled indulgently at his intelligent, adventurous son who seemed to have inherited all his parents attributes – intelligence, insight, loyalty – and none of their flaws – her clumsiness, his lycanthropy. And then he saw her. Her red hair seemed even more vibrant against the backdrop of her fair skin and the pale winter sky. She was wearing beige pants and a white button-up shirt, both of which hugged her figure. She was wearing her signature style of jewellery – a rube pendant on a gold chain – he had often thought about getting her something similar, except of course there was no way he could be seen buying such a thing, it would immediately start tongues wagging.

She looked stunning. It had been a long time since he had seen her dressed so smartly – since that fateful night that he had rescued her from something awful in Paris. She had worn comfortable clothes suitable for a lot of walking when they had been travelling together – varied occasionally by something overtly sexy, suitable for a werewolf's companion – and since they had rekindled their relationship, he had only seen her in comfortable, around-the-house clothes. Fitted, stylish clothes suited her – and she knew what colours suited her, too.

He was filled with the urge to march up to her and take her in his arms, kiss her, tell the world – _especially_ her family – that she was his.

She looked up to see him and her heart skipped a beat. She had known that he was coming, had tried to get out of it, but really, how many excuses were there to get out of Christmas with your family? So there was no help for it.

She watched as he picked up his son and hoisted him onto his hip and she found herself wondering what it would be like for Teddy to be _her_ son. Of course, she was too young, she hadn't even been of age when he had been born, but the thought of having a child with him, actually _seeing_ him with his son to another woman, made her simultaneously long for the same and feel jealous of Tonks for having what she never would.

She fought back her feelings and smiled what she hoped was a generic welcoming smile – a proper greeting for a man she (supposedly) knew only vaguely, the brother of her sister-in-law. "Remus, hi," she said, before directing her attention to Teddy. "It's been so long since I've seen you," she cooed. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I was one of your dad's students when you first came to Hogwarts. You were the most well-behaved baby ever."

"Which he clearly got from his dad," Charlie said, to much laughter, because he knew better than anyone else other than Nymphodora Tonks's capacity for getting into trouble. It hadn't been that she was particularly destructive; she had always _meant_ to be a model pupil like her parents had been, but her kitten-like curiosity and ability to satiate it by morphing into pretty much anyone had always led her best intentions astray.

Teddy looked at Ginny curiously, of course not remembering that first year of his life, intelligent as he was. "You're Uncle Charlie's sister," he said.

Ginny smiled at that. "I can see that Andromeda had no chance," she said. Andromeda had been a little _too_ confident that she would get Teddy into Morganna's; the simple and immediate effectiveness of Lupin's counter-campaign had been found so amusing that most of the magical community had known about it within days – Ginny hadn't even heard it from Lupin himself.

"There's nothing wrong with Morganna's," Andromeda said stiffly, perhaps not the best thing to try and defend among the Weasleys. "Mr. Longbottom?" she asked.

"Hated it, wanted to go to Lady of the Lake," Neville said bluntly. "That place is crawling with Malfoys."

"What of them that are left," Lupin said smugly. Needless to say, the name had taken something of a battering since the end of the War.

But despite his teasing Andromeda, it was a relaxed, friendly atmosphere. Except for one niggly little thing. _If only Ginny weren't here,_ Lupin kept thinking, almost as frequently as his gaze drifted over towards her. They sat down for dinner and it was a lively, vibrant affair. Lupin was sparing with how much he drank, terrified that after too much he would become uninhibited in his actions and say or do something that he couldn't take back, but despite his caution, he enjoyed himself. It had been a while since he had spent time with people who weren't his colleagues. Not that he didn't _like_ his Hogwarts colleagues, but it was nice to be with others. _With family_, he thought, the word bringing a whimsical smile to his face, because via Tess's marriage, the Weasleys were the closest he had to family after Teddy and Andromeda.

_Andromeda_. Lupin's lips curved up in amusement to see his mother-in-law enjoying herself. That polite mask of interest in Xenophilius seemed like less of a mask than the one she usually wore for those she had zero interest in... even if whatever interest she had was amusement for ideas that made his daughter look straight-laced. Or maybe, it occurred to him, she was lonelier than she let on. The thought amused him somewhat. He had always been a little in awe of Andromeda, thought her incapable of such an emotion as loneliness...

... Harry was trying his best to engage Ginny. He looked so striking – he wasn't to know that she had unconsciously dressed to catch Lupin's eye. He had been so disappointed when their relationship had failed, although some part of him had known that there wasn't that _fire_ there – he had had more fire in his 'relationship' with Cho Change when they had been at Hogwarts. But he had been so fond of Ginny, had loved being part of the Weasley family in a way that had been deeper and richer than just being Ron's friend... and it was more than that, he was envious of the relationship that Ron and Hermione had. And Ginny was the only girl he had ever really thought about having that with.

Ginny was polite, but restless. It was so frustrating, to be so close to Lupin and not being able to do anything about it. And to see him with Teddy... if she hadn't already known that he was a devoted father, seeing them together would have clinched it. He loved that boy with every fibre of that huge, generous heart of his, and Teddy returned that love. Even the novelty of having his beloved Uncle Charlie nearby didn't entirely distract him from his father. Ginny wanted to share that with them so much, and she was so jealous of her brother for the part he had in their lives.

Harry brought her over some eggnog – Fleur's recipe, and not a bad stand-in for Molly's, but there was always something about a mother's recipe that could never be duplicated, even if you _were_ particularly skilled in the kitchen. "Thanks," she said distractedly, watching Lupin and Teddy.

"He's really something, isn't he?" Harry asked. "When I have kids, I want a son just like him," he said, assuming – like anyone else would have in the situation – that it was Teddy, and only Teddy, that had her attention. Harry took this to be a good thing, that she was looking to settle down and have a family of her own.

"Yeah," Ginny said. "He's so bright. And he handles the situation with his mum so well." She had never really thought about how Neville must have felt growing up in a similar – and arguably, _worse_, since he was effectively an orphan – situation until she had listened to Lupin fret about the affect it was having on Teddy. Not that the boy was lacking for female role models, but knowing what she knew made her feel deep sympathy for the boy... not to mention her own sense of longing to be a kind of mother-figure to him.

"He's got more than I did," Harry said stiffly. It didn't matter how much he was trying to instigate quality time with Ginny, he still hated it when people spoke about 'poor Teddy Lupin'. 'Poor Teddy Lupin' had a father and grandmother who adored him, was being raised surrounded by magic with some of the best witches and wizards of the age – Hogwarts was _very_ select with who it allowed to teach – doting on him... it was a sight better than what _he_, Harry had gotten growing up.

"Sorry," Ginny said distractedly, and Harry choked back a sigh of frustration. She had been like this – well, ever since she had disappeared over summer, with the occasional owl sent to Bill to tell her she was fine and having a blast. Where _had_ she gone, anyway, that had been so enthralling that ordinary life no longer interested her?

"Who's up for a game of Quidditch?" Harry asked, because when they all got together at Shell Cottage, Quidditch was split between him, Ginny and Ron on one side and Bill, Charlie and George on the other. His suggestion worked a treat – despite the cold weather, within minutes they had a game going and Ginny, who was as competitive as her brothers when it came to Quidditch, was co-ordinating with Harry and Ron to kick their asses.

Teddy, sitting in his father's lap, clapped joyfully to watch six excellent players go head-to-head, even in just a friendly match played with enchanted golf balls. "Keep dreaming," Lupin said, too quietly for Teddy to hear him. No way was he letting Charlie do that with Teddy riding dinky, even if he _did_ have a lot vested in him emotionally. Despite himself, he felt jealousy to watch Ginny and Harry – and Ron, too, but that barely registered – working so well together. He didn't care in the slightest that there was something she was so good at that he would never be more than clumsily competent in – even Augusta's recent announcement that he had once been a very good flier for his age had done nothing to tweak the resignation that had long since lapsed into disinterest when it came to the fact that he just didn't have the physiology to do certain things – but watching her do it so damn well with her ex made him jealous.

He didn't like seeing her with Harry, he admitted to a small recess in his mind. He didn't like Harry being here. Hell, _he_ didn't like being here, with all this awkwardness, but he _especially_ didn't like Harry being here. It was clear that the younger man still harboured hopes of getting back together... and Ginny was _his_.

_Merlin, _he thought. If this was how he felt just seeing her being pally with Harry, than it was no wonder she had been so furious at him over the St. Mungo's incident. She must love him a lot to be able to stand it.

* * *

><p>Teddy looked in utter confusion at the ice skates Tess had gotten him for Christmas. She had had the foresight to attach a plastic 'cap' over the blades so he didn't cut himself by accident as he pored over the devices. "Magical-borns don't ice skate," Tess said. "Charlie says it's boring. They just don't know how to show off their grace and athletic prowess without magic."<p>

"She just salvages her pride over being such a bad flyer by looking good on the ice," Charlie countered. "Besides, last I checked, lycanthropy still came under _magic_." And there was no denying that the innate grace that came with practiced skating was emphasised by the grace and balance that werewolves possessed – at least on the ground.

"Actually, lycanthropy counts as supernatural, not magical," Lupin offered, flashing Tess a grin, because she was right – the muggle sport _did_ tend to be overlooked by magical-borns as 'boring' on account that it didn't use magic. And Tess on skates could be just as captivates as Charlie on a broom. Hell, Lupin thought smugly, _him_ on skates could be just as captivating as Charlie on a broom... Tess's blond beauty made her a force you couldn't take your eyes off. "You'll enjoy it, Teddy," Lupin said, and he felt _much_ comfortable with Teddy skating than flying... especially after he'd reinforced the ice on the lake a short distance from Shell Cottage so it was at least two feet deep. "We'll take you out."

"Ginny, you can skate, can't you?" Tess asked. Ginny nodded; Hermione had been passionate about winter sports for years, and she had picked it up and found she rather enjoyed it. "Good, you can come with us."

"I don't want to barge in – " Ginny started helplessly, torn between wanting to join in on the little family outing and _not_ wanting to be around him... when Tess, Teddy and Andromeda were around as well.

Tess waved her away. "You're my sister and you can skate," she said dismissively, but still friendly. "Let's show Teddy how it's done."

Despite the magical-born tendancy to look down on skating, Ginny enjoyed it. There was something freeing about speeding along on the blades, feeling the muscles in her legs working in a way that flying just didn't require.

It didn't take long of watching for Teddy to want to be a part of it, and not much longer after that for him to have a solid grasp on it. The four spent the better part of the morning whizzing around on the ice before everyone was called in for lunch.

In spite of the great time he'd had, part of Lupin was glad it was over, because he'd barely been able to take his eyes off Ginny. He was as graceful and athletic on skates – perhaps even more so – than she was on a broomstick, without the feeling of vertigo that he got for watching her. When her long hair whipped around her, he had longed to feel it draped across his bare chest, or brushing against his shoulders when she rubbed them...

Resolutely, he took Teddy's hand and led him back into the house, sitting him down and waving his wand over his son to dry his clothes out before lifting him up and settling the boy onto his hip because he wasn't too old or too big to still enjoy the tactile warmth from a hug. "Have fun?" he asked Teddy, although the answer was obvious enough.

Teddy's green eyes sparkled. "Can we do that at Hogwarts?" he asked.

"I'll see what I can organise," Lupin said noncommittally, because he couldn't see McGonagall allowing him to freeze the Great Lake – or the creatures that lived in it allowing it, for that matter – but he might be able to whip up a pond somewhere on the grounds if he could spare the time away from his students and office. "Just be careful, mate, you get cold more easily than I do."

The rest of Christmas Day passed in a pleasantly of good food and good company and as it drew to an end, the all sat in the living room around the fire, Teddy curled up in Lupin's arms, fighting sleep, loving the sense of family and not wanting to fall asleep when surrounded by such good spirits.

"It's been a while since he's fallen asleep in your arms," Neville noted when Teddy finally dropped off in his father's arms. When Teddy had been younger – although 'younger' was a relative term for someone not yet five years old – he refused to go to bed when Neville was over and would fall asleep in Lupin's arms.

"He found it was a lot more comfortable falling asleep in his own bed, and he eventually got bored of our conversation," Lupin said. "But family's new to him. Even if it's borrowed."

"Mum always said that all the goodwill you give out, you get back with interest," Bill mused.

"You're mum was a wise woman." Lupin cuddled the small figure in his arms. "I think it's time for my own bedtime," he said; it was past midnight. Getting to his feet carefully so as not to wake Teddy, he carried the little boy into the nursery and put him to bed, watching him sleep for ten minutes. He doubted he would ever tire of watching Teddy sleep, and had no idea how he was going to cope when he went off to elementary school.

Eventually, he made his way towards his own room, knowing on Andromeda's door on the way. "Come in," she said.

Despite the late hour, she appeared to have been expecting him. She was sitting up in bed, reading but she hadn't changed into sleeping clothes, and was. "I think I forgot to say, but Merry Christmas," he said.

She smiled. "You, too."

"I hope we weren't too disrespectful," he said, because when you had almost twenty people and all but three of them were Gryffindors, it was easy to pick on Slytherin.

Andromeda smiled forgivingly; she no doubt would have done the same had the situation been reversed. "They're good people," she said. "I'm glad Teddy has them for family."

"What about Ted's family?" he asked.

She laughed dryly at that. "What's the name of Harry Potter's aunt and uncle? Dudley?"

"Dursely."

"They make the Durselys look open-minded. His mother, Audrey, never stopped hoping that he'd see the error of his ways and go back to her beliefs." She smiled sardonically. "I took great pleasure in informing her about you."

"Glad I could be of some assistance." Lupin couldn't imagine how it must have been for Andromeda, to have been raised in such an elite, pure-blood household, and be treated like a freak by her in-laws.

"I don't think she'd acknowledge Teddy, even if I let her," Andromeda said. "So I'm glad he has the Weasleys. I look at how he is with them – especially Charlie – and I don't worry about him lacking for people who care about him."

"The Weasleys are like that," Lupin said. "Molly took in everyone. Her only condition was them being a decent human being."

Andromeda laughed. "I know. Dora didn't know what to make of them at first. She was so used to being an only child and then she was surrounded by... organised chaos," she said tactfully, because she had never quite gotten used to the activity that went on in the Weasley home – _any_ Weasley home, it seemed, because Molly and Arthur's deaths hadn't seemed to have put a dent in the activity that went on.

Smiling, Lupin left Andromeda and returned to his own room, pleased that things had worked out so well. Despite having Ginny in such close proximity, he was glad he had come here for Christmas.

He let himself into his room to find Ginny sitting on his bed, flipping through one of his books as if she belonged there. His heart leapt to see her, and simultaneously twisted in dread. If anyone saw her – "Ginny, what are you doing here?" he asked. "You've got to leave."

"I had to see you," she said in a small voice. "It's hell, being around you and not being able to touch you."

"I know," he said, and despite his better judgement, drew her in to kiss her. "You taste like Christmas," he mumbled between frantic kisses, trying to savour the moment and ram his tongue down her throat, getting as much of her as he could at the same time.

She giggled. "Really? What does Christmas taste like?"

"Family. Friendship," he mumbled, not that keen on talking when he could kiss her. Reluctantly, he pulled away so he could cast on Imperturbable spell on the door. "You're going to be the death of me, you know that," he murmured huskily when he went back to kissing her.

He pushed her down onto her back, his hands sliding under her shirt. It hadn't been long since their last tryst, but given the agony of being in such close proximity to one another all day for several days – and during a period associated with friendship and companionship – it had felt like much longer. She wriggled her legs out from under him to wrap them around his waist and gyrated her pelvis against his, delighted with the results.

"Remus..." she groaned when he pushed the flimsy material of her shirt up under her armpits, exposing her breasts, kissing them, stroking them, licking first one nipple until it was hard against his tongue and then the other. She frantically grabbed at him under his shirt, relishing the texture of his skin, even the feel of the scars that ran across his back because they were such an integral part of them and therefor something she found unbelievable sexy. "Remus!" she cried again, this time louder.

They undressed each other quickly and boldly, she manoeuvred herself so she was on top of him. In a frenzied state herself, she nonetheless had the presence of mind to tease Lupin a little, holding herself slightly on top of him, teasing him with the nearness of her womanhood until he was growling – she _loved_ it when he growled in unabated, unattained lust.

He groaned deeply when she lowered herself onto him, driving him deep inside him. He grabbed her hips. "Oh – sweet – Merlin – _Gin_!" he gasped. He bucked up against her and dug his fingers into her hips. God, what was it about this woman that drove him so crazy? When he was inside her, he wondered how he had managed to get through the days being so close to her and not being able to touch her. Coupling with her felt like his natural state of being. "Gin – Gin – Gin!" he cried out as he rocked against her.

She lay in his arms after it was over, her long vibrant hair fanned out against his chest. He stroked her hair, loving the way it felt in his fingers, reluctant to let her go. But he knew he had to. "You need to leave, while it's a decent hour," he said reluctantly.

She stirred in his arms. "I don't want to," she complained.

"You have to. If you go now, you can tell anyone you run into that you just wanted to talk to someone – about Harry," Lupin suggested. "If you're caught leaving my room any later than this, that won't fly. Please, Ginny. You need to leave."

So reluctantly she left, and she was glad that Lupin had suggested it, because she had barely shut the door on his room when she ran into Neville. She gave a shriek of fright when she saw him. "Neville!" she cried. "You scared me."

"Sorry. Bill said the vegetation out here is amazing, and Luna wasn't feeling well, so I thought I'd go amuse myself."

"Oh. Sorry to hear that. Do you know what's wrong?"

Neville shrugged. "No idea. She's been off her food since she got here – and before you say talk to Andromeda, she thinks that's what it is." Ginny nodded sympathetically. Luna had been deeply traumatised by the months she had spent in Bellatrix LeStrange's basement, and Andromeda's physical similarity to her sister still spooked her. Neville cocked his head. "What were you doing in Remus's room?"

She was glad Lupin had offered her the out. "I wanted to talk to someone," she said. "About Harry."

"He still bothering you?"

"Not _bothering_, exactly..." Ginny started.

"I know what you mean. He's still got a thing for you. I saw the way he was with you at the wedding. And the way Remus intercepted. He can't stop being a teacher, can he?" Neville asked with a grin, and Ginny squirmed. She hardly had a teacher-student relationship with him. "Do you want me to talk to him?" Neville asked.

"Who, Remus?" Ginny asked automatically, because that was where her mind was.

Neville looked at her quizzically. "No, Harry. It might sound more believable coming from me." _Un_believable as it might sound, Harry actually had a lot of experience in women playing coy with him; pretending not to be interested in the hope that it would pique _his_ interest. Perhaps being told by a mutual friend of his and Ginny's might hit home that she actually _wasn't_ interested.

"Um... thanks, but I'll be right," Ginny said vaguely, and hurried back to her room.

Shrugging, Neville took off in the direction of his own room and slid into bed next to his wife. "You smell like the ocean," Luna said dreamily, in that tone that he knew to mean she approved.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine."

"Luna..."

"OK, I feel awful," she admitted. "But I don't want to spoil anyone's celebration."

He kissed her chastely. "I wish you'd talk to Andromeda. She's the nicest lady." _For a pureblood who thinks Morganna's in the greatest school ever_.

"She thinks Morganna's is the best school ever," Luna countered, and Neville couldn't help but grin at that. He settled in close to her, wishing he could make her feel better by pure force of love.

* * *

><p>"Harry, this Ginny thing has to stop. She's not interested. Surely you've worked that out by now," Neville said the next day before breakfast.<p>

"But, I – " Harry started to protest that his attentions had only been in the spirit of the festive season, but Neville cut him off.

"She's not interested," he repeated. "I know you want her to be, but pestering her – "

"I'm not pestering her!" Harry blustered.

Neville shrugged. "Call it what you want. She went to Remus to talk about it, that's how she feels about it."

Harry immediately felt guilty that Ginny felt she had no-one to talk to but a quasi-father-figure; that her brother and good friend Neville weren't enough because of their own close relationships with Harry. "I want what you and Ron have," he admitted.

"Try staying up with Luna when she can't eat or sleep because of Andromeda," Neville said dryly. Then he softened. "I know you do. But trying to push things with Ginny isn't going to get that. It's just going to push her further away. All you can do is be her friend – and _only_ her friend. Don't try to push for more. It will happen or it won't, and nothing you can do will change if it happens or not."

Harry suddenly felt guilty for pushing Ginny into this situation – that she felt she could only talk to Lupin, that Neville – and Lupin, if you counted the scene at Neville's wedding – had to intercede for her. Those weren't exactly the actions of a man who cared about her. "OK," he said reluctantly. "I'll leave her alone." Then, eager to change the subject, he asked, "How's Luna."

"Can't eat or sleep. She'll be better once we get back to Hogwarts, I'm sure. You were in that dungeon for, what, three minutes? She was there for _three months_. She can't forget, and seeing Andromeda just reminds her even more painfully. I don't exactly blame her, though it's not making for the most pleasant of Christmases. But, look, that's my problem. _You're_ problem is leaving Ginny alone. You want to be close to her, be her friend – and _only_ her friend. You won't get anything more by pushing for it."

They sat down to breakfast, and Luna picked at her food, more so than usual, because she normally tried to make an appearance of a healthy appetite. Neville rubbed her arm worriedly. "I'm fine," she snapped, very un-Luna-like, which only caused Neville to worry more.

She wasn't fine. She threw up what little she had eaten a few seconds later. Andromeda, who had been surreptitiously watching Luna all Christmas break, finally stood up. "Take her into your room, Neville," she directed the young man, who was only too happy to have such an authoritative figure telling him what to do after he had been increasingly worried about his wife's health. "Remus, do you have any of your restorative potion on you?"

Lupin knew where Andromeda was going with this. He used a herbal potion after full moons because it didn't interfere with his Wolfsbane the way other potions did; he had actually been introduced to it by his father-in-law, who had been concerned about the potions Andromeda took while pregnant. Ted had had a pet theory that Squibs were the result of indiscriminate use of potions in the same way excessive drinking caused foetal alcohol syndrome in muggles and had scoured the magical community until he'd found something he deemed suitable for Andromeda.

Lupin retrieved the potion from his room and went to Neville's room. He smiled when he saw it. Neville let Luna have her way when it came to decorating, so even the guest room was a myriad of whimsical images. "Here," he said to Andromeda.

Andromeda gave the potion to Luna. "It won't hurt the baby," she said softly, gently, going above and beyond even her own standards as a Healer, because she was aware of how much she frightened Luna. It was why she had let Luna be sick all this time when her professional instincts screamed out to do what she could to make the poor girl comfortable. "And it will make you feel a lot better."

"Baby?" Luna and Neville asked.

Lupin smirked. It was a rare opportunity to see Andromeda Tonks mis-step professionally, not having realised and Luna and Neville themselves didn't realise they were pregnant, and he was pleased to have witnessed it.

"I'm sorry, you didn't know?" Andromeda said. "She's been sick all break."

"We – um – well – we – " Neville stammered for an explanation that wouldn't hurt Andromeda's feelings.

"You thought your wife being in such close proximity to someone who looks so much like the crazy bitch who tortured her was what was making her sick?" Andromeda offered. Neville looked embarrassed, and Luna burst into tears. "It's OK, dear," Andromeda said understandingly. "I frighten a lot of people. Still," she added ruefully. "But you should have come to me from the beginning. I know the admin position's an inherited one, but the Head Healer one isn't. Forgive my arrogance, but I'm damn good at what I do. I can refer you to someone else, if you want, but don't avoid St. Mungo's because of me. And don't turn down my expertise at such close proximity because of my sister."

Luna nodded. Neville was suddenly breathless. "Pregnant?" he asked. "A baby?"

Lupin discreetly nudged Neville out of the way so Andromeda could deal with Luna with some degree of privacy. "How do you feel?" Lupin asked, aware of Neville's abandonment issues. That he'd finally scraped up the courage to have faith in the future and commit to Luna didn't mean he didn't still feel those issues; they would never entirely go away.

But they seemed to have recessed more than Lupin had given Neville credit for. "Wow," he said happily. "_Me_, a _dad_. I never thought it was possible."

"I did," Lupin muttered under his breath, because it was common knowledge that you didn't knock on their door after dinner, and like any good pure-blood, Neville knew jack about contraception. Lupin had actually been secretly hoping that he'd get Luna pregnant by accident, then he'd _have_ to marry the girl... but things had worked out the best way possible.

Neville heard the comment, but he was too happy to care. _Him_! A _dad_!

"You're taking it well," Andromeda commented a few minutes later to a beaming Neville. "Ted ran around like a disoriented Hippogriff when he found out about Dora."

"All he can say is _me, a dad_," Lupin said with a smile. "I think it's still sinking in."

"Can I see her?" Neville asked eagerly, as if Luna was somewhere else entirely a not a few meters away in the same room. Andromeda nodded, and Neville bolted over to his wife. "Sweetheart," he breathed. "I can't believe it. I'm so happy."

"Really?" she asked. "I thought you were worried about – "

He shook his head and leaned in to kiss her lovingly. "I wouldn't have married you if I was still worried about that. Oh, wow – we're having a baby!" His heart bubbled over with happiness, and he knew he had never been so in love with Luna as he was now.

It didn't take long for the news to spread through the house, with Neville holding Luna's hand tightly and looking every inch the proud and protective father. Lupin watched them, happy for them but at the same time he couldn't help but think about the fact that he was unlikely to have more children. It was ironic, really; after all the running he had done when he'd found out about Teddy, fatherhood had felt like the most natural thing in the world and he wanted more children.

He let his thoughts drift to Ginny, and he caught her gaze suddenly. She gave him a look of understanding, and he forced himself to look away before the look on his face gave them both away.

* * *

><p>"Neville, can you take care of Teddy for a few hours? I need to run some errands. Consider it practice," Lupin suggested to Neville when they had returned to Hogwarts – Neville and Luna inundated with congratulations and well-wishes.<p>

"Sure," Neville agreed. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," Lupin mumbled.

"You – er – going to see her?" Neville asked. "Sorry, that's none of my business."

"No, it's not... but yes, I am," Lupin said. It felt oddly nice to be upfront about the fact he was going to see his mistress – although once again, he doubted Neville would be so understanding, even in that awkward way that he was about things that hadn't been covered in his conservative upbringing, if he knew who his mistress was – rather than lie about where he was going.

He left Teddy with Neville and Luna and went to Ginny's. "Gin?" he called through the flat. "Are you home?"

Ginny emerged from the bedroom, looking lovely as usual, although she was plainly dressed in tracksuit pants and a t-shirt. "I wasn't expecting you," she said huskily, unsure of what to do now that they were alone – for the past week-and-a-bit they'd been in such close proximity but unable to be with one another. Did she throw herself into his arms? Did she wait for him to make the first move?

"I had to see you," he replied, just as huskily, and strode towards her, pulling her in his arms, crushing her against him, kissing her deeply. "Gin," he murmured. "Oh, sweet Merlin, I can't believe I got through that week."

"Ten days," she corrected.

"Whatever." He reached under her shirt, pulling it over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra underneath. He slid his hands over her body, cupping her breasts, running his thumbs across her nipples, feeling them grow hard under his touch. "Ginny," he said. "_Ginny_."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he swung her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Lying her on her back, he began kissing her in earnest, her mouth, face, neck, shoulder, breasts... Ginny's clung to Lupin, her fingers digging into his shoulders, as they undressed one another until they were both completely naked. She stroked his hardness admiringly and squirmed as he fingered her. "Remus, fuck me, _now_," she growled. Ten days of such close proximity and only one frantic tryst and she was in no mood to wait...

Obligingly, Lupin swung on top of her and pushed inside her. She gasped in pleasure when his manhood slid inside her. "Remus!" she cried out as he began pumping her.

He silenced her with a kiss and began thrusting hard. What was it about this girl that every time he meant to be gentle with her, and every time he was with her, he ended up screwing her brains out? It didn't help that the little minx actually _liked_ what he did to her.

They had worked themselves into such a frenzy that even he was panting when it was over. He curled up to her, sticky and sweaty. "You drive me crazy, I had to see you," he murmured.

"How did you get rid of Teddy?" Ginny asked, running her fingers through his damp hair.

"Neville's got him," he said absently.

"Alright... what did you tell _Neville_?" she asked.

"He knows about us," Lupin murmured absently. Ginny bolted up in bed. "Not like that, love. He knows I'm seeing someone. Apparently the whole staff do."

"Remus – John – Lupin!" Ginny cried indignantly. "How could you not tell me something major like this?"

"Gin, calm down, will you? I don't see much of you as it is, I'd rather we didn't spent the time with you being mad at me. They know I'm seeing someone, that's all," he said, refraining from using the more correct phrase _They know I've taken a mistress_. "It wasn't hard to work out. I'm still away for my non-custodial weekends but I'm not going to Diagon Alley. No-one cares, Gin... at least, no more than they did about me using prostitutes in the first place."

She wriggled in his arms. "They'd care if they knew it was me," she said, envisioning that they all assumed he was seeing someone like Sarah Callahan.

"I've no doubt," he agreed. "But... for the time being, they seem to understand. Neville, at least. Enough that he took Teddy off my hands for me." He turned to her and started kissing her. "I had to see you," he said huskily. "I was going crazy, being so close to you and not being able to touch you. And seeing Harry make eyes at you – I wanted to hit him," he admitted. "I wanted to get into an old-fashioned fistfight with him." And given that Lupin was far stronger than Harry, it would hardly make for a fair fight.

She squirmed against him. "Really?" she asked.

He laughed. "You sound pleased."

"I always wanted a boyfriend who'd go into jealous rages," she said.

"No, you don't. You only like me 'cos I'm civilised enough to restrain myself. You wouldn't like it if I _did_ actually hit Harry." And Lupin knew once he got started, once he allowed his jealousy to act out, he wouldn't stop at just hitting Harry.

Ginny didn't say anything, but settled into her lover's arms and allowed him to play with her hair and stroke her skin. After a few minutes, she realised that he was distant. "Is everything OK?" she asked him softly, even though she already knew that it wasn't – and she had a fair suspicion as to what was bothering him.

"I'm insanely jealous of Neville and Luna," he admitted.

"Because of the baby?" she asked rhetorically.

She felt Lupin's head shift against hers as he nodded. "I never wanted to be a dad," he admitted, as though it was a new confession. "But when I first held Teddy, it was like it was what I had been meant to do all my life. He's five now. He'll go to school in eighteen months and then I'll only see him on weekends. And – I want more kids," he admitted haltingly, feeling guilty even as he said the words because it was only reminding Ginny that while she was with him, she wouldn't have children either.

"You're a good dad," she said soothingly.

"I'm holding you back," he mumbled.

"I made a choice," she countered. "And I'm not sorry I did."

_Just you wait until the baby's born_, Lupin thought. He somehow doubted that Ginny would feel the same about being tied to a married man who she couldn't have children with once her best friend had a baby and the Longbottom marriage kicked into high gear of happiness.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for looking after him," Lupin said when Neville brought a fast-asleep Teddy over that evening.<p>

"That's fine," Neville said. Then, fumbling for something to say, he figured he may as well broach the awkwardness head-on. "Enjoy yourself?" he asked.

"I did... thankyou," Lupin said, tacking on the last word stupidly, because Neville had asked about his well-being and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say, given what they were talking about.

"It must have been tough, getting through Christmas."

"It was. I missed her."

Neville looked quizzically at Lupin. "You care about her?" he asked in surprise.

"I would hope so," Lupin said. "Sorry, but I would have thought that was obvious. I did have _some_ feelings for Sarah. You can't see as much as someone as I do – well, the _way_ I see her, without having feelings for them."

Neville digested this. It made sense, although it wasn't something he had given any thought to. It unsettled him somehow. He got the practicality of Lupin's one-night stands and use of prostitutes, but admitting that he was seeing someone, that he had feelings for them – "Please don't look at me like that," Lupin said beseechingly. "I wish I'd never said anything. She makes you happy. _I_ make _her_ happy."

Neville nodded, eager for this conversation to be over, sorry that he had said anything in the first place, wishing that he had just dropped Teddy off and been done with it. It made him uncomfortable to hear Lupin speak of his infidelities, however understandable they might be. "I should get going," he said, shifting awkwardly on his feet. "I don't like leaving Luna alone."

"Of course," Lupin said, glad to be rid of the colleague he had such a connection with, despite their ages.

Neville left. It was only later, when he thought about it, that he realised Lupin never referred to his mistress by her name.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_Six months later_

There was something oddly appealing about the cheap, run-down tavern in Knockturn Alley, that didn't try to disguise the clientele that it catered to; those who wanted to get drunk on the cheapest, nastiest thing available, and couples that rented rooms by the hour.

"You just like it 'cos it's novel," Lupin said dryly when Ginny pointed this out. "Get used to it, and I assure you the appeal will wear off. You'd miss your own bed."

Ginny made a face. She didn't like to think about how Lupin knew this. Instead, she curled up close to him. He'd had to make a trip into Knockturn Alley to get supplies for his class, and when he'd informed Ginny of this, she'd jumped at the chance to meet up with him for a few hours. A few hours between the sheets of a cheap, run-down tavern.

She was already wishing it was more.

"Did you find my wedding ring?" Lupin asked, reluctantly bringing up an awkward question. He had taken off his wedding ring the last time he'd been over, as he usually did, and at some point had misplaced it. To his shame when he thought about it, he was less concerned about _losing his wedding ring_ than the fact it had been his father's – or that someone else might stumble upon it before it was located again.

"Sorry, I didn't look," Ginny said apologetically. Her lover's missing wedding ring came under the category of 'Don't Want to Think About the Fact He's Married'.

"Could you, please? A basic locating spell should do it," Lupin said. "God forbid someone else should find it."

"It's not anywhere obvious, I would have found it by now," Ginny said. "But I'll find it tonight if it's that important to you."

"It is. Thankyou. Which reminds me – what time is Neville coming over?" It was Augusta's birthday, and since formal, pureblood things had never been something Luna was comfortable at – only now she had a damn good excuse in the form of a tiring pregnancy in its final month – so Ginny was always his date to them.

"Half past five."

Lupin looked at the clock. "That's fifteen minutes away."

"Half past five _Neville's_ time," Ginny corrected. "He's so late these days, he never wants to leave Luna."

"Can't exactly blame the guy," Lupin said; when Tonks had been nine months pregnant, he'd hovered around like an obsessive-compulsive hummingbird until Andromeda had threatened to kick him out. "And you don't want to be getting in after him."

"Remus, don't nag me," Ginny said shortly.

"Then don't question Neville's intelligence. You think his curiosity won't be piqued if he catches you wearing what you are?" He had given Ginny specific instructions to wear something dark and concealing, and quite frankly, she had looked like what she was – a kept woman. Even if Neville didn't make the somewhat long stretch between that and the fact that Ginny was his mistress, he would still be curious as to why she was dressed like someone who didn't want to be recognised. "I want you to go, Gin."

She pouted, although she recognised the tone in Lupin's voice; the I-know-better-about-these-things voice. "Fine," she said, a little sullenly.

"C'mon, Gin, don't be like this. I just don't want Neville asking questions that don't need to be asked. You knew we only had a few hours together."

She heard the beseeching tone in his voice, and softened. "I know. I just wish we had more time together."She bit her lip so she wouldn't say what was next on her mind: _I hate that I only got to see you for a few hours_. If she said it, Lupin would only remind her that that was the way things had to be, and that she was better off without him.

She most emphatically was _not_ better off without him.

She left the room via the Floo network and made it back to her flat before Neville. She wrote him a quick note in case he got here before she was finished getting ready and hopped into the shower.

* * *

><p>Gin, sorry I'm late," Neville called through the flat when he got there, late as usual. He wasn't very good at being punctual – not since he had found out about Luna's pregnancy and he'd wanted to spend every minute with her. She got tired easily and it didn't help but those pesky first years clamoured for her attention and she didn't have the heart to tell them she needed rest. What was <em>with<em> the youth of today, anyway? _He_ wouldn't have clamoured for the attention of his Professor's pregnant wife when _he_ had been in first year. He would have respected he need to rest and be nurtured and not be bombarded by pesky first years in need of attention –

Neville grinned to himself. He was overprotective of Luna, he knew, and he needed to snap out of it. He didn't know how much more slack McGonagall was willing to cut him – or Sprout, for that matter, given that she was grooming him to take over as sole Professor of Herbology. But it was _so hard_ when he was so in love with his wife and just as in love with the idea of being a dad. _Me, a dad!_

He heard the shower running and spotted the note left on the table. _Sorry, Neville, running late, _it read. (_Least I'm not the only one_, Neville thought.) _Help yourself to a drink. XXOO Ginny._

Neville was comfortable enough round Ginny to do just that, retrieving a butterbeer from her fridge. He sat down at the table and started to drink when out of the corner or his eye, something shiny caught his attention.

It was a small metallic object that had rolled under the counter in that small space where the bottom of the cupboards didn't quite meet the floor. She'd no doubt misplaced an earring at some point, although why she hadn't bothered with a basic locating spell to find it, he didn't know. He bent down to retrieve it, and his blood went cold to see what it was, because he had seen it enough times on his colleague's hand to know exactly what it was.

He turned it over between his thumb and forefinger to check the inscription, hoping that it might actually be _another_ wedding ring with a red-gold-and-black braided design to symbolise a union between a Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. _John & Sarah 1/4/1952. _The inscription faded into a second one; the ring was an heirloom that had been charmed to display both wedding dates. _RJL & NAT 6/7/1997_.

This was Lupin's wedding ring. In Ginny's flat. Which didn't make sense, because Lupin had been wearing his wedding ring as of at least this morning; was the one he had been wearing a fake, a hurried copy so as not to draw attention to the fact that he had lost his wedding ring? Why would he bother with a fake when he had lost his ring, unless he had lost it under circumstances that he didn't care to explain? Like being with his mistress.

His heart feeling very heavy all of a sudden, a physical weight in his chest, Neville did a quick tour of the flat, taking in all the things that had piqued his interest in the past nine months because they hadn't seemed like very Ginny things to have, but which he had dismissed because they had been easily explainable individually. The weekend editions of _The Bucharest Times_; books on dark, dangerous and magical creatures that Ginny would have no interest in.

And that time at Christmas when he had run into Ginny leaving Lupin's room. He had taken her excuse that she had been upset about Harry at face value at the time because it had been perfectly plausible (and the kind of lie that Lupin was perfectly capable of thinking up on the spot for her to pass on) but when you strung all those things together, she had far more of a connection with Lupin than she ought to given they were, what, siblings-in-law at best?

He heard the bedroom door open and he shoved the ring into his pocket and did his best to look perfectly natural, despite the earth-shattering news he had just discovered. "Sorry, Neville," Ginny said cheerfully. "I was out and lost track of time."

He tried his best not to look suspicious when he was in fact eying her suspiciously. It was one more thing that he would have accepted at face value a few minutes ago, but now... had she been out with Lupin? He knew that Lupin was in Knockturn Alley that afternoon – or at least, he had _said_ he would be in Knockturn Alley. Maybe he had, in fact, left this flat just before Neville had gotten here.

"Neville? You alright?" Ginny asked gaily when she saw the look of deep concentration on her friend's face.

Neville smiled as calmly as he could. "Fine," he said. "Just worried about Luna. I don't like leaving her alone this close to her delivery date."

Ginny smiled gaily at that. "She's not exactly alone," she pointed out. "She's surrounded by the biggest concentration of powerful witches and wizards outside the Ministry."

* * *

><p>At three in the morning, Luna Longbottom had finally had enough of her husband's obvious restlessness. "Neville, what's up?" she complained. "You're fidgeting worse than Alice."<p>

Once she had found out they were having a girl, Luna had taken to calling her Alice Penelope after their mothers. A combination of indulgence and pleasure had made Neville let her have it, and now he thought of his unborn daughter as Alice almost as thoroughly as Luna did.

"Nothing," Neville said, not wanting to worry Luna. He turned onto his side, away from Luna so his fidgeting wouldn't keep her awake.

Luna moved onto her side and awkwardly attempted to spoon him, her arms barely getting around her stomach _and_ him. Knowing that she wasn't going to let it go now – and he couldn't blame her, after he had kept her awake tossing and turning for three hours – he flipped onto his side. "I think Remus and Ginny are having an affair," he blurted out.

Luna's grey eyes went wide with disbelief. Neville had already shared the belief that Lupin was having an affair – a belief since confirmed by Lupin himself – but he'd never pressed for the woman's identity. _Ginny?_ she thought wildly. "Ginny?" she asked. "Ginny Weasley? My friend, my bridesmaid?"

"That's the one."

"But – how – why on earth – " for one of the few times in her life, she struggled to understand the situation. She liked both Ginny and Lupin and in different circumstances would have thought her dear friend of indefatigable love and loyalty was perfect for the lonely werewolf who was hung-up on his shortcomings, but... _Lupin was married_. Technically, maybe, but still married. "What, she just told you this?"

"I found his wedding ring at her flat," Neville said. He struggled into a sitting position and, waving his wand to turn on the lights, retrieved the ring. "See? The design is a combination of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff's colours. It was his dad's – you can see the two sets of wedding dates inside. Why would he leave something like that in her flat? Why would he _be_ in her flat in the first place? And why would be bother dummying up a fake, if he had lost it why didn't he just admit to it – unless he didn't want to admit to the circumstances that he lost it in? And it's not just that," he continued, his suspicions gaining momentum now that he had someone to confide in. "I've noticed a few times that she's got books and newspapers and stuff which I thought were a big too heavy-going for her tastes... but they're _exactly_ what Remus would read. And – I'm sorry I didn't tell you at the this, you were feeling so awful and I didn't like much of it, but I ran into her coming out of his room Christmas night. I didn't think much of it because she said she was upset about the attention Harry was paying her, but now, in light of everything else – "

Luna nodded, a frown of worry crossing her otherwise-serene face. "I shouldn't have told you," Neville said miserably, because he hated upsetting his wife even more than he hated to think of Ginny and Lupin having an affair.

"No, I'm glad you told me." She thought about it for a long time, then, "You should talk to McGonagall." She was still unable to break the habit of referring to her husband's boss by her last, rather than first name. "She has the authority to check his Floo. You can charm them into revealing when it was used and where to."

_Of course_, Neville thought; if he hadn't been so fretful, he would have come to that conclusion himself. But still, the idea of dobbing in his friend and colleague to their boss – and for indiscretion that was, at best, one hell of an indiscretion and not a crime _per se_ – made him feel sick to his stomach. He disliked disloyalty, which was exactly what dobbing in a mate felt like, regardless of the good intentions.

"You have to say something," Luna interrupted his thoughts, seeming to read them in that way that she did. "You may not have wanted to know, it might have been easier for everyone had you _not_ known, but now that you do, you have to say something."

* * *

><p>"Neville, you look sick. The last time you looked so sick you were trying to tell me about Harry, Ron and Hermione being out of bed."<p>

Neville flustered, because that was _exactly_ how he felt; like a man dobbing in a good friend, someone he greatly admired, over what felt life a life-or-death situation. Of course, a bunch of first years being out of bed was hardly in the same league as Lupin having an affair with a pureblood from a good family who was young enough to be his daughter, but it still brought on that stomach-wrenching anxiety, that feeling of guilt that literally felt like it was poisoning his blood. "Well, spit it out," McGonagall pressed. She wondered if Neville was about to ask for yet more time off regarding Luna's pregnancy. She was extremely happy for him, but it wasn't like she was without family and friends who could accommodate her, and getting so close to the end of the school year, she couldn't keep allowing him time off.

"I – I found this," Neville blurted out, fishing the ring out of his pocket and sliding it across McGonagall's desk. "In Ginny Weasley's flat."

McGonagall took the ring, although she already recognised the design and had a sinking feeling as to what it was – coupled with the fact that Neville wouldn't have come to see her, and looked so distressed about it, if it was about something _other_ than what she thought it was about. She thumbed the ring to check the inscription; there were those two dates. "Is there any way it could have gotten there by accident?" she asked, knowing the answer was _no_.

"He never takes it off," Neville said flatly. "At least not unless – " he fumbled, unable to bring himself to say _not unless he was about to commit infidelity_. "And – " he stopped abruptly.

"And?" McGonagall pressed. "Spit it out, Neville. You've come to me with a valid concern, you may as well tell me what you know."

Neville swallowed and looked McGonagall in the eye. May as well face this head-on. "She has stuff in her flat – books, newspapers – that didn't seem like the kind of thing she'd bother with – too heavy for her. And at Christmas I caught her coming out of his room. She had a perfectly good reason for it so I didn't think anything of it at the time, but..."

"Now you're rethinking everything you didn't think anything of at the time," McGonagall offered to a helpless Neville. "You did the right thing in coming to me, you needn't feel guilty about it."

"They're not doing anything illegal..." Neville said plaintively, knowing how weak his argument sounded even as he was making it. "You let him have Sarah Callahan."

"And I'm sorry I did, if he's allowed it to go this far," McGonagall said, aware that she had allowed Lupin a far greater indiscretion in his affair with Sarah Callahan than his current one with Ginny Weasley – _if_ he was involved with the girl – because Sarah was muggle-born, self-absorbed trash whereas Ginny was a pureblood from one of the magical community's most highly-esteemed families. Being involved with Sarah wouldn't hurt her reputation – her current employment was testimony to that – but if anyone found out that he was involved with Ginny... "I'll look into it," McGonagall promised. "As I said, you did the right thing by coming to me. Go back to that wife of yours, this isn't the time to be using your free time running around without her. I'll speak to Pomona and see if you can have some more time off," she said, desperate to offer him something that would wipe that anguished look off his face. "Merlin knows, we raised enough children, but you, Remus and Ted were the only ones I can remember who actually _had_ them."

A few days later, McGonagall knocked on Lupin's door late in the evening, after Teddy was asleep. "Something wrong?" he asked casually, because his rooms were hardly in close proximity to her offices – more like the other side of the castle – but he couldn't think of anything that would warrant a personal visit when she just as easily could have said something at dinner.

"There's something we need to discuss, and it's better we do it in private," McGonagall said, and Lupin tensed immediately.

"Sounds ominous," he said. "Do you want a drink?" The last time a woman he half-feared and half-admired needed to discuss something with him was Andromeda, and he had been grateful for the firewhisky he'd had before she'd told him about Frank and Alice.

"No, thankyou, but don't let me stop you," McGonagall said, and Lupin took that to mean he shouldn't.

"What's this about?" he asked, settling down at the table.

"Neville found this when he met Ginny Weasley at her flat," McGonagall said, retrieving the ring from a pocket of her robes and sliding it across the table. Lupin visibly paled, and McGonagall knew that to be the proof that they were, indeed, having an affair. Still, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. "You have any explanation as to how it got there?"

"I _told_ her to find it," Lupin said to himself.

McGonagall's eyebrows raised. "_That's_ your defence? You told her to find it? Remus, you shouldn't have been in a position to lose it in the first place! How long has it been going on for? And if I think you're lying, I'll go and interrogate Miss Weasley. She's far more susceptible to Legilimency than you are."

The threat of Legilimency was enough for Lupin to tell McGonagall everything she wanted to know; it wasn't a pleasant thing to go through, and _unpleasant experiences_ was something Lupin had plenty of person experience on. "Nine months," he admitted. "Well, since last summer, really. I ran into her in Paris and she was determined to go visiting places a girl like her shouldn't go alone and – well, that doesn't matter. I tried to call it off at the end of summer, but I saw her again at the wedding, and..." he shrugged helplessly. So easy to have gone along with it at the time; so hard to look McGonagall in the eyes as he was trying to explain it.

"Speaking of Mr. Longbottom, do you remember a bit of advice you gave him when he first started seeing Luna?" McGonagall asked. Lupin squirmed, because he _did_ remember, and he stood by it, because it was good advice... and he had damned himself with it. "Well?" McGonagall pressed, and it was clear that she expected him to repeat it.

"I told him that if he wanted to sleep with her, he should make sure he loved her, because if he got her pregnant, he'd be expected to marry her," Lupin said, drawing the words out reluctantly, because he knew they were about to bite him on the ass.

"You can't marry her," McGonagall said. "You can't even get an annulment if Nymphodora was in a position to consent to one. Merlin, Remus, what were you thinking? I understand that you need an outlet, but did you think about what this will do to her if it gets out? And it _will_ get out," she added. They may have been lucky in that Neville had been the first to find out, and discreet enough to go to McGonagall, but eventually, they wouldn't be that lucky. "You'll _ruin_ her. You _know_ why your wife went through – and she had the respectability of _being_ your wife. You'll _ruin_ Ginny if this gets out – no other man will be interested in her."

"I know that," Lupin said in a small voice.

"Then why – "

"Because she makes me happy!" Lupin yelled. "Because I have something with her than I had with Dora – God forbid, _better_ than I had with Dora – and I didn't want to give it up."

McGonagall felt a deep surge of pity for Lupin. She knew what a difficult position he was in, and how difficult it had been for him to find love – so much so that he had refused to let Tonks in for the longest time. She believed that he loved Ginny – held him and his principles in too high regard to think he would have gotten involved with her over casual feelings – but that didn't change the fact that he wasn't in a position to marry her, and that he would ruin her should their relationship become public knowledge. If Neville had managed to find out, then it was only a matter of time that someone less loyal and discreet did. After all, if they had been indiscreet enough to get together over Christmas with all her family and his mother-in-law meters away... "You have to end it," she said bluntly. Lupin looked anguished at this – even more anguished than Neville had when he had come to McGonagall with his suspicions. "If you don't end it, I'll fire you," she said, even more bluntly, and while she didn't doubt that Ginny meant more to him than teaching did, neither did she doubt that Teddy meant more to him than Ginny, therefor, his ability to provide for his son would be a serious factor.

He looked pale. "You wouldn't," he said, although he knew perfectly well that she could – and would. "You were fine with Sarah, and she was my _student_. "

"And I'm regretting that now," McGonagall said sternly. "I won't have such a blatant adulterer teaching here," she said firmly. "I'm sorry, Remus, I know she makes you happy and if there was a way you could be with her freely, you know you'd have my full support. But it has to end. Or you can find another job."

Lupin held McGonagall's eyes for a few seconds before realising that she meant every word. Not only was there the practicality of supporting Teddy, but she had forced all his guilty to the fore. He _would_ ruin Ginny. She _did_ deserve better. Their relationship couldn't go anywhere. "I'll break it off with her," he said resignedly.

"You couldn't keep your hands off her for ten days when you had all your family around," McGonagall scoffed. "_I_ will talk to her. _You_ can talk to your mother-in-law," she directed him.

Lupin paled at that. "I can't," he said.

"You have to. You know she has a way of finding out about these things. It will be far, far worse for you if she finds out from someone else."

* * *

><p>"Professor McGonagall," Ginny said in surprise.<p>

McGonagall smiled thinly. She was used to her former students inability to refer to her by her first name; Luna still hadn't managed it, and she had lived at Hogwarts and been married to one of its professors for nine months. "You were expecting someone else?" she asked. "Remus, perhaps?"

Ginny looked like a deer trapped in headlights. "I – I have no idea what you're talking about," she blustered, knowing that McGonagall wouldn't say something like that without incontrovertible belief that she was correct.

"While I disagree with him in many regards, Remus was right about one thing. You should have found his wedding ring before someone else did. You were just lucky that that someone was Neville."

_Neville_. She had thought he had acted funny that night of his grandmother's birthday; she had chalked it up to pre-fatherhood nerves. "We haven't done anything wrong," Ginny said with a bravado she didn't feel, because she had always been intimidated by the stern House Head – and then Headmistress – and deep down, she knew she _was_ doing something wrong. If nothing else, she was sleeping with another woman's wife... a woman who loved her husband deeply and had fought hard to get him to acknowledge their love, and would be devastated if she found out he was carrying on with someone else.

"No? I think his _wife_ would disagree," McGonagall said with such moral authority that Ginny stepped back as if she'd been struck. "I'm here to tell you that's it's over between you and Remus. You are not to try and contact him again."

"You can't keep us apart!" Ginny yelled louder than she had meant to, a shrill tone entering her voice as such an unexpected bombshell being dropped on her. She struggled to comprehend it; it was over, and she wasn't even hearing it from him.

"I'm not keeping anyone from anyone," McGonagall said. "But I won't have him on my staff if he continues to see you, and while he may not care much about himself, he _does_ care about supporting Teddy... and you," she added when she saw the anguish on Ginny's face, because it was doubly clear now that she had seen the reactions of both of them that they cared about each other greatly – maybe even loved one another. "Ginny, it won't go anywhere – it _can't_ go anywhere. If Nymphodora wakes up, he _will_ go back to her. And if she doesn't – well, you know how long Neville waited."

Ginny was crying now as the realisation sunk in that it was over and she couldn't even say goodbye to him. She understood _why_ – they hardly had a track record of being able to keep their hands off each other, even when it was vitally important that they do so – but that didn't make it hurt any less. "We love each other."

"He should never have allowed it to go this far," McGonagall said, not unsympathetically.

"He didn't! I insisted!"

_Now, why does that not surprise me?_ McGonagall wondered. Her brother's pursuit of Tess Green was well-known, as was the fact that he had persevered and ground her down until she had conceded their mutual attraction. It didn't seem much of a stretch that Ginny possessed the same perseverance – not to mention complete lack of concern about his disability. McGonagall felt another surge of pity for the pair. Lupin had been an idiot in allowing things to progress as far as they did, but she didn't doubt that Ginny had instigated the relationship. "I'm sorry, Ginny," she said, completely kindly this time."I wish there was an easier way, but there isn't. If I catch u two together again, I will fire him. If you love him like you say you do, you won't make him choose."

* * *

><p>"You bastard! You couldn't keep it in your pants, could you?" Andromeda jeered. "You just <em>had<em> to have another affair. You disgust me. You never deserved her. You're a lying, cheating piece of _shit_." She held her wand over his heart, her hand shaking with rage, her eyes spitting fury.

Lupin closed his eyes. "Kill me, then," he said flatly. The last two days he had felt like a zombie. He had no idea how he'd gotten through his classes. He had known deep down that things with Ginny couldn't continue, but now that it was over, there was this massive ache in his heart that he couldn't believe hurt so much, made him feel so empty. If it was possibly, he felt even worse than he had when Tonks had fallen. "I don't care. Just make it quick."

He opened his eyes a few seconds later when nothing happened. Andromeda still had the tip of her wand against his heart, but her eyes were huge in surprise. "What do you mean, you don't care?" she asked. She had expected him to be defensive or indignant like he had when she had found out about his affair with Sarah Callahan; instead he looked, well, like he didn't care if he lived or died... even that he'd _prefer_ death.

"I just gave up the best thing in my life after Teddy. I don't particularly _care_ if you kill me." Lupin's tone was flat, dead, and Andromeda could only stare at him. She had never seen her son-in-law like this, so lost, so bereft, so emotionally _drowning_. She had seen him in a funk when he felt sorry for himself over his lycanthropy, seen him in a fury, both lycanthropy-induced and human, she had seen him distraught over his wife, her daughter... but she had never seen him so at loss without someone.

Like she had been – still _was_, she felt sometimes – over Ted. Like he _hadn't_ been over Tonks.

For a moment, she was so startled by the realisation that he truly did love Ginny Weasley and he was completely at lost without her, to a point that he didn't particularly _care_ if he died. For the first time, she truly understood her son-in-law – more so than she had bothered to do even when they had been friends, before their relationship had been soured by his marriage and her daughter's vegetative state. She understood his grief and loss – because she knew it oh-too-well.

And as much as she empathised with him, she hated him because he had those feelings... over his mistress. He had never felt that way about his wife, but he could feel that way about the _child_ that he was cheating on her with.

Her hand shaking, she lowered her want. "Get out of my sight," she snarled, unable to strike out at a man whose grief so mirrored her own... and unable to feel anything but contempt for anyone who could fall in love with someone else while they were married... especially when that someone was married to her daughter.

* * *

><p>"I'm going out," Ginny declared rebelliously.<p>

"No, you're not," Bill said fiercely, the two Weasley tempers about to clash... and Bill was older and wiser. "I want you where I can see you." He had decided that for the time being, it was best for Ginny to stay at Shell Cottage where he could keep an eye on her. The funny thing was, he trusted completely that the relationship was over... because he trusted Lupin when he said it was over and to keep Ginny at arm's length. He didn't trust Ginny and her youthful passion one iota.

"You can't stop me."

"You leave my sight and Merlin help me, I'll make Andromeda's exile from her family look harmonious," Bill promised. There was a blazing flash of defiance in Ginny's eyes before it died, the threat of losing her family after losing Lupin too much for her and she sat down none-too-gracefully on the couch. "Thankyou," Bill said coolly, in no mood to mollycoddle his kid sister. "It's for the best," he said finally, at a loss with what to do with her. "He's too old for you," he started, and knew as soon as the words were out of his mouth that it was the wrong tack to take.

"You and Charlie are both married to women a lot younger than you," Ginny countered.

"Yes, _married_. Like Remus is. Merlin, Ginny, what the hell did you think would happen? You know there's no annulment when a child is involved, and that he wouldn't leave her for you even if he could. He gave you up to keep his job – to keep his means of supporting Teddy," Bill said. He could feel the cutting abruptness in his voice, and he hated hurting Ginny like this, but... Merlin, what had the girl been thinking? "You would have ruined yourself had this gotten out. You could have ruined _all_ of us."

"So touching to see you thinking so selflessly," Ginny said sarcastically. "You're just like Ron! You don't want to see me with anyone!"

Bill shot her a withering look. "You know I'd support you if he were free to marry you," he said, an uncertain tone in his voice, but he decided that while it would be hard, he could do it... _if_ Lupin were free to marry her. He supposed it made the decision easier knowing that the older man _wasn't_. "But his _mistress_? Merlin, Ginny, I thought you were raised better than that. Thankgod Minerva managed to make Remus see reason... though Merlin knows if we can ever do the same for you."

He wished Charlie were here; he could do with his oldest brother's advice right now.

* * *

><p>"Where are you going?" Charlie asked coolly, because he knew <em>exactly<em> where his wife was going.

"Hogwarts," Tess said, just as coolly. "Remus needs me. He's devastated."

"_He's... devastated_?" Charlie asked, flabbergasted. "You've _got_ to be kidding me. He _seduced_ my sister!"

"He fell in love with her," Tess fired back. "And if Ginny's anything like you, she pursued him until it was easier to give in than hold out."

"You cannot seriously be comparing us!" Charlie said indignantly, remembering how doggedly he had pursued Tess and knowing that his sister – that all six of them – possessed the same intense passion and determination to pursue what or whoever they were passionate about. Bill had sent him a short, terse note by owl; saying that Lupin and Ginny had been conducting an affair since the summer, with a brief separation between the beginning of the school year and the Longbottom wedding. He wasn't sure exactly how Ginny had found herself in the position to be keeping Lupin company over the summer, but he could sort of see how, once in that position, she would quickly become enamoured with such an intelligent, wise tutor.

This didn't excuse Lupin for acting on her advances, if she had indeed made them. Charlie still liked to think of it as _him_ making the advances. It didn't bear thinking that his kid sister had done something so reckless entirely of her own volition.

Which naturally caused a division between him and his wife.

"He needs me," Tess repeated stubbornly. He had been there for her when she had first been turned, keeping her on the path of humanity when every fibre of her werewolf being had cried out to bite, to kill; she had to be there for him when he was so devastated and alone. She had, of course, been disappointed to learn that he had been conducting an affair with a girl young enough to be his daughter. But that didn't make him any less her brother – it didn't make his devastation and loneliness any less significant.

"You're my _wife_, Tess. You're part of my family now," Charlie insisted. "Your place is with me. If you walk out on me – "

It was the wrong choice of words. Tess's eyes flared at the inference that he was issuing her an ultimatum; him or her brother. "Fine," she snapped. "Have it your way then."

"Tess, I didn't mean – " Charlie started, but it was too late. Tess was gone.

* * *

><p>"OK, so what did he actually say?" Lupin asked patiently, putting aside his own grief to work through Tess's relationship problems. It made him feel better, to distract himself from his own insurmountable relationship problems. Tess's, by comparison, seemed perfectly workable.<p>

"He said he'd leave me if I went to you, so I left him first," Tess sniffled.

"Tess..." Lupin said, good-naturedly chiding her. He didn't believe that Charlie had made such a threat, even in the heat of anger.

"OK, he said I was part of his family and that my place was with him," Tess admitted. "But it amounts to the same thing!" she said indignantly. "He said you seduced her – and I know you didn't," she added loyalty.

"Your faith in me in touching," Lupin said dryly, although he supposed he should be thankful – even touched – that so many people – McGonagall, Neville, the rest of the Weasleys – had enough faith in him to believe that it had been Ginny, with all her Weasley passion, who had instigated the affair... even if he ought to be hung out to dry for allowing it to happen.

"He can't exactly talk," Tess continued with a mix of loyalty and indignation. "He didn't give me a moment's peace until I agreed to go out with him."

From Lupin's memory, Charlie had actually been very considerate of Tess's need for space until she was emotionally strong enough to handle being alone with him. "Neither of you were married," he reminded her, his tone deceptively mild as he thought of Ginny. "And you're not young enough to be his daughter."

"Whose side are you on?"

"Yours, Tess. I don't want to see you walk out of your marriage out of some misguided sense of loyalty to me – and it _is_ misguided, love. I appreciate that you care – I really do – but the fact is, I've brought it upon myself. I should never have allowed her to accompany me. I should have read the signs as we became close. I fell in love with her knowing that I could never give her what she deserved, knowing that I would be dragging her down to the no better than a prostitute, and did it anyway. I was selfish."

"Selfish! Remus, you're the least selfish person I know! You can't help who you fall in love with."

"No... but I ought to be able to help what I do about it," he corrected. "She could be with anyone she wanted. It wasn't fair of me to ask her to take such much less... to even go along with it when _she_ wanted it. Don't you remember how you felt about Charlie? That you weren't good enough for him? Well, you're only seven years younger than him... _and_ you were both free to marry. I brought this upon myself, Tess, and I don't want to see you ruin your marriage out of some misguided loyalty to me."

Tess opened her mouth to argue with him, when there was a knock on the door. She bolted up, and Lupin's lips curved up in a smile of amusement at the fact that despite herself, she clearly hoped it was Charlie. "Go, get it," he encouraged her. It was charming to see how hopeful she was – and how badly she hid it.

It was Neville.

Tess's hopeful smile turned into a scowl and Neville blanched at the animal fury on her face, directed at the person she considered responsible for all this. "Go away," she spat.

"I – I – " Neville stammered. He'd always been a little intimidated by Tess's stunning beauty, and when she looked at him like that... he swallowed, and wondered if she was here to offer sympathy for her brother, or because her marriage was in trouble, or both.

"Go – " Tess started to say again, but hearing Neville's voice, Lupin interrupted her.

"Tess, let him in," Lupin directed. Tess grudgingly stepped aside – it was amazing how, like Andromeda, such a slight woman could have such an imposing presence – to let Neville in.

"I – I – I came to see how you were," Neville stammered.

"Fine, thankyou, given my heart's broken," Lupin snarled in a way that had made Tess's tone look positively friendly. He saw the way Neville blanched, and for one of the few times in his life, took malicious delight in seeing someone in distress – and by his own words, too. Intellectually, he knew Neville wasn't to blame, but he was too heartbroken and Neville to easy a target of blame for him to pass up the opportunity to lash out at _someone_.

"I – I – I didn't mean..." Neville said, trailing off helplessly.

"Yes, funny how pure-bloods never _mean_ to do anything but nonetheless someone still manage to ruin lives with their self-righteousness," Lupin snapped.

"Hey! I'm not the one who was having an affair with someone young enough to be my daughter!" Neville yelped in false bravado, terrified of the two werewolves and heartbroken himself that a friend he so admired had cut him off, but determined to say _something_ in defence.

Lupin stood up and slammed his palm down on the table hard enough to create a crack in the wood. "That's _exactly_ what I mean," he said, his voice icily cold and far more frightening than if he'd yelled. "The worst you ever experienced was trying to work out if Luna returned your feelings or not, which didn't exactly turn out badly for you. You have _no idea_ what it's been like to be me. That was the first time I've been happy since – since – " he faltered, and Neville flinched. There had been no denying that Lupin had been happy these last nine months. Neville squirmed to remember that he had been happy _for_ his friend and colleague... until he had found out who his mistress was.

"I'm sorry," he said weakly, because he didn't see what else he could have done. He couldn't have just let it die once he had found out about it. He wished he'd never found out about it. Lupin hated him, and he had no doubt that Ginny harboured similar feelings. He'd lost two people he held very dear... but he couldn't think of what else he could have done.

"Get out, Neville," Lupin said harshly. "I have to work with you. I don't have to be your friend." And he sent Neville such a hateful look that Neville felt as if his mortal life was in danger.

* * *

><p>"Neville..." Luna said, trying not to sound reproachful that her sleep was disrupted yet again.<p>

"Go back to sleep," Neville directed his wife hoarsely.

He was crying again, and trying to hide it from her, and doing a bad job. He'd taken Lupin's harsh and abrupt termination of their friendship badly. He referred to Neville only as 'Professor Longbottom' and refused to answer to anything but 'Professor Lupin' in turn. The whole student body was buzzing about it, although no-one could work out the cause for the termination of their friendship.

Luna knew how keenly Neville had taken the absence of his parents growing up, and that Lupin had perfectly fitted his need for a father figure – wise, supportive, encouraging. The two men had suited each other perfectly for that matter, because Lupin had never intended in having children and Neville had filled that void perfectly – intelligent, open-minded, loyal. They had been as close as father and son – closer, in fact, than most fathers and sons – which was testimony to how heartbroken Lupin had been over the end of his relationship with Ginny... and how tempting a target Neville had been for a scapegoat. Too tempting.

"He'll come to his senses eventually," Luna said loyally. "He's too smart to kid himself that you did anything wrong."

Neville flipped violently onto his back. "You didn't see the look on his face, sweetheart," he said. "He's devastated. He was so happy – and I took that away from him." Not to mention Tess and Charlie's strained marriage as a consequence of Neville's actions; just one more thing for Lupin to hold against him.

"You didn't take anything from him. It was his own fault for getting involved with her in the first place."

Neville kissed her forehead gently. He appreciated Luna's loyalty and comforting words, he truly did, but Lupin's words resonated with him. _The worst you ever experienced was trying to work out if Luna returned your feelings or not_. That wasn't exactly true, but Neville still felt an uncomfortable truth to them. For all his awkward childhood, he'd had a lot of privileges, too – his pure-bloodedness, his purebreed status. If it hadn't been Luna – and he thanked Merlin every day that it had been – someone else would have come along that he would have been compatible with, happy with.

Lupin didn't have those kinds of options. He was trapped between two worlds – that of the Dark Creatures like himself and the intelligent, civilised full-humans that he had been raised to be like. As a result, he didn't really fit in either place, and much of _both_ populations distrusted, even feared him. Tonks and Ginny had both fallen in love with him in spite of that – perhaps, even, _because_ of that, because overcoming his base nature had taken high courage and intelligence – but they had been very much the exception and not the rule. Luna might be the love of his life, but there could have been others... for Lupin, there wouldn't be.

He had taken away the only thing that made Lupin truly happy, other than Teddy.

He finally fell asleep feeling like the worst friend in the world.

* * *

><p>Charlie returned from a long walk along the beach to his older brother looking rather concerned. "What?" he asked, thinking things couldn't possibly get worse. Ginny alternated between tears and surliness. And Laya was returning all his parchments to Tess; in fact, the owl was starting to look mighty put out that she was expected to make all these returns to Hogwarts for no point.<p>

He missed her desperately. He was sorry he had tried to make Tess choose between him and Lupin – should have known that if it came down to it, her loyalty would always first be to the man who had fought so hard to keep her humanity in tact – but regrets didn't count for much when you were dealing with a werewolf's temperament.

"These came," Bill said, sliding official-looking Ministry documents in Charlie's direction. "She's filed for annulment."

Feeling numb, Charlie took the documents. "She can't," he said weakly, knowing full well that if there was a way, Tess had the intelligence and determination to find it – not to mention the sheer, wilful pride of beating him to the post. Not that he'd had any intention – any desire – for annulment, but it was just like Tess to be so quick to get things started rather than allow him the honour of getting in first. "You can't get an annulment without both people consenting," he said.

"You can in England," Bill reminded Charlie, reminding him as well that England's laws regarding Dark Creature were less favourable than those in almost every other country in Europe. A Dark Creature marriage was exempt from an annulment requiring both consents; intended to protect the human in the marriage should they decide they wanted out, Tess had used it to her advantage.

"She can't," Charlie said weakly. The thought of Tess not in his life – the way she smiled at him when they were alone – the feel of her weight in his lap, even that deceptive strength in such a petite body that had broken more than a few bones of his as she got used to her power – the sense of belonging that he got from being around her – for a second he forgot how to breathe as he contemplated the thought of Tess not in his life.

She couldn't do this. He wouldn't allow her to.

"Charlie?" Bill asked warily, because he recognised that look in his eyes – the look he saw in Ginny's eyes whenever Lupin came up – the look that must have been in his own when he had fought with his mum over Fleur – that Weasley passion, wilfulness, determination to have what they had set their hearts on... "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"Hogwarts."

"You can't seriously – " Bill started to object, but Charlie was already gone.

* * *

><p>"I'm coming, I'm coming," Tess said irritably, having been working from the fractured sleep she had just slipped into. She wasn't sleeping well – hadn't been sleeping well since she had left her husband. <em>Not sleeping well? Try not sleeping <em>at all. So she was extra irritable at being woken up. "Neville, I swear to God if this is you, again, I'll..." she threatened.

She stopped dead in her tracks, the threat dying on her lips when she saw her husband. _Estranged_ husband. Soon-to-be _ex_ husband. Or was that _former_ husband? Never-was husband? Tess didn't know exactly how these things worked, only that in the muggle world an annulment would have not been an option after five years of marriage... but it was in the magical community, at least England's, because she was a Dark Creature and therefor her husband was thought to have the right to end the marriage whenever he saw fit.

Well, she would walk away from the marriage before Charlie had a chance to.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she asked, trying to mimic her brother's icy tone that had made Neville flinch, hoping it would hide the way her heart lurched to see him.

She couldn't do it as well as Charlie wasn't as easily intimidated as Neville was. "What the fuck is this?" he demanded, pushing his way into the room, waving the parchment around furiously. "Is there someone else?" he demanded.

Her eyes flashed furiously. "How – dare – you!" she screamed at him. God, he looked gorgeous. He had never been conventionally attractive, but he had never seen him solely for his looks, not even in those first days when they had first met. And as the days, months and years passed, when she look at him she saw less his physical looks and more the way he smiled at her when they were alone, the strength in his arms around her that was both physical and emotional, the comfort, love and security she took from being around him and the way he made her feel like whatever she was getting from him, she was giving back just as much...

Damn him.

"How dare you!" she repeated.

"Well, your brother isn't exactly known for taking his marriage vows seriously, why should I expect any more of you?" Charlie jeered at her before he'd had time to think about what he was saying. When she was looking at him with such hate, he wanted to lash out at her, hurt her as much as she was hurting him.

Tess's reply was a wild swing at his face, which, while not particularly well-aimed, was well and truly compensated for in brute force. It had been a while since she had broken one of his bones, and in the past, it had always been by accident, as she had become more confident and adventurous in bed at the same time that she was discovering the bounds of her strength. This time, she had struck out to hurt him intentionally.

He backhanded her as hard as he could.

Tess reeled back; she was injured and hurt as easily as any human, she just healed fasted, and Charlie was strong and struck out powerfully. He'd never hurt her intentionally before in the past, and she was shocked to find that he was capable of it.

As shocked as she was to find out that she was capable of breaking her husband's nose as she lashed out in hurt at being accused of cheating on him.

As shocked as she was to find out how much it hurt to be accused of cheating on him. She _loved_ him, did that not mean anything to him? Apparently not. But then, he had already expected her to take his side over her brother's, so it really shouldn't come as any surprise that her love didn't mean anything to him, that she had been something dark and exotic for him to play with, like his dragons, but, unlike his dragons, obedience was expected of her...

Charlie saw something in her eyes that he didn't quite understand. Fury. Love. Fury that that love should be so easily discarded... or so she thought.

He kissed her. Their sex life had always had a rough element to it, but this was something else entirely. He felt a drive he had never known before, animal emotions of possession and lust that made him forget about everything else but his wife and his determination to have her...

He was kissing her passionately, forcefully, in a way that he'd never kissed her in five years of passionate marriage. She pushed him away. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. If she wanted him off her, she'd have to break every bone in his body. "I won't give you up," he growled. "You want out of this marriage, you'll have to kill me." There was a dark, desperate tone in his voice that made her believe he was serious, and she shivered in spite of herself.

Charlie responded by wrapping his arms tighter around her. To hell if he left bruises. His nose hurt, but the pain receded into something tolerable as Tess became the only thing that mattered. He dropped one hand to her right hip, where she kept a pure silver blade securely sheathed. Silver was generally too soft a metal to be used in fighting utensils - except in the case of those who had supernatural allergies to it – but Tess kept the blade sharp enough to do some serious damage. He unsheathed the blade and, swiftly unbuttoning his shirt, placed it against his chest. The blade truly was sharp; he could feel the edge of it piercing his skin ever-so-slightly. "You want out of this marriage?" he asked darkly.

She stared heatedly at him for a second, then kissed him. He dropped the knife and it fell to the floor with a clatter. Neither of them noticed; they were too busy with each other. Charlie crushed her into his embrace, his arm tightly around her waist. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and raking her fingers through his hair. "Charlie..." she moaned huskily.

He picked her up and instinctively knew where her bedroom was, dumping her on the bed with very little grace. He climbed on top of her, kissing her forcefully. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he could feel the pressure on his ribs, but he didn't care. He returned her force with as much force of his own as he could muster, tearing at her shirt, kissing her breasts. He worked his way back up to her neck, pulling hard on her hair to yank her head to one side, driven to leave a mark on her because _she was his_ _and he was hers _and he wouldn't let anything change that. "Tess," he growled. "Mine. _Mine_."

They pulled frantically at each other's clothes and he thrust his knee between her thighs when they were naked. "Tell me you want me," he grunted.

"I want you," she whispered. His fingers were inside her, probing her, having her at his mercy, shocked at the force of will Charlie was able to demonstrate.

"Louder," he grunted. He remembered how he had chased her in those early months, how for the longest time he had been far more upfront about his feelings, and that now he wanted her to admit that he meant everything to her, like she meant everything to him. He twisted his fingers around the way she liked and she groaned. "Say it!" he screamed.

"I want you!" she screamed back at him. "I want you – I love you – please, Charlie..." She dug her nails into his forearms desperately.

He felt a surge of perverse triumph at her admission – more so at the desperate way she dug her fingers into his skin. And at the fact she'd screamed that she loved him – without his urging. He kissed her hard and thrust deep inside her, shuddering as her warm, wet womanhood embraced him, feeling like he was a horny teenager and discovering sex for the first time, only on a more intense level... "Oh, sweet Merlin, Tess, I love you..." he grunted.

The sex was fierce, rough. He felt her nails in his flesh, her legs tangled up with his, fighting and embracing him at the same time. They were kissing each other hungrily, hands all over each other, grinding like animals, forgetting about everything and anyone else but each other...

Charlie shuddered and buried his head in Tess's shoulder as he climaxed. He felt her rake her nails down his back, then clench her fingers into his shoulder blades as she spasmed against him and orgasmed with a cry. He felt both bones crack and barely cared to feel her orgasm violently under him. _She loved him!_ He had already known that, but someone, the violent, possessive nature of their lovemaking had confirmed that in a way that six years of marriage hadn't...

"No more talk of annulment?" he asked her when he moved off her, marvelling at the fair beauty of his wife – made perversely all the more exciting by the scratches and bruises that were already marking her sleep.

Tess, who had barely slept since walking out on her husband, was sound asleep, a peaceful smile on her lips.

Charlie kissed her gently – as gently as he had possessed her roughly moments before. He knew that something had changed in those last few minutes – their marriage, bound by love, attraction and a need, both physical and emotional, for one another, had been confirmed in a way that words and laws never could... nor could they part them or deny that connection. Tess, who, while she had always been a little insecure over her half-breed status, was fundamentally honest about herself... she couldn't lie about what she and Charlie shared. Not now.

He slid out of bed, his body howling in complaint at every movement. He had broken bones before – more than one at a time – a hazard of being a champion Quidditch player as well as certified Dragon trainer – but not like that. She had broken his nose – fractured, if not broken, both shoulder blades – and done some damage to his ribs, too.

And he didn't particularly care; it didn't mean much next to the fact that Tess was crazy about him.

"I must admit, you've outdone yourself," Madam Poppy Pomfrey conceded a few minutes later when Charlie made his way to the Hospital wing of Hogwarts, a place Charlie still knew where it was, despite not having been to Hogwarts for over ten years. Given how many times he had fallen off his broomstick performing – and often choreographing – flying stunts, it was quite something that in the seven years he had been at Hogwarts, he had never presented with so many breaks. And _both_ shoulder blades! One of the strongest muscles in the body! It didn't take a genius to work out that he'd come to blows with his werewolf wife. "May I inquire as to what you look so happy about?"

"She loves me," Charlie said happily.

"I can see," Pomfrey said dryly. "You're lucky she didn't kill you."

"She wouldn't have," Charlie said calmly. _I gave her that option_, he added silently.

Pomfrey looked disbelieving but nonetheless healed Charlie's various breaks and fractures – no less than _eight_, not counting bruises and scratches. Well, he could keep those; the discomfort might remind him to think twice before he went charging in to confront his Dark Creature wife... at least for a day or two. "If it makes you feel better, I got in a few blows of my own," Charlie said cheerfully.

Pomfrey gave him a withering look. Trust Charlie Weasley to go and marry a Dark Creature... and then think it was funny when they beat each other up.

* * *

><p>"You look like you got in a fight with a werewolf," Lupin said dryly when he opened the door a few minutes later to see his brother-in-law, somewhat more beaten up than the last time he had seen him. He had returned to his room to find Tess's knife discarded on the floor – something that was highly irresponsible of her, both should Teddy come across it and should either of <em>them<em> come across it, pure silver in any form capable of burning them, let alone silver sharpened to a point that it could penetrate regularly human flesh – and Tess herself sound asleep after her singular inability to do so since she had sought refuge with him at Hogwarts. With bruises across her face and no doubt plenty of other places on her body. And Charlie returning looking somewhat worse for wear – and extremely happy about it – filled in the blanks. "Tell me you at least got in a few of your own. I'd hate to think you were _completely_ defenceless."

Charlie couldn't help but grin, despite the fact he was supposed to be disgusted by the way Lupin had behaved with his sister. "She didn't come out completely unscathed," he said. "And she loved it."

Lupin made a face. "That's more than I needed to know." The two men looked at each other for a few seconds, an awkward silence descending, before he said, "do you want a drink?"

"I'd love one."

Lupin fixed themselves both firewhisky; no point in going for the weak stuff at this point. There was a long silence before Charlie finally blurted out, "Do you love her? Ginny, I mean."

Lupin nodded slightly. "Yeah, I do." He started to say something about knowing how much that must disgust Charlie, but something stopped him, sensing that Charlie had already formed his thoughts and needed time to find the right words.

"Then you'll stay away from her?" Charlie asked. "At least until Tonks dies."

_At least until Tonks dies_. Lupin had always known that that was the only way he would be free to pursue a public relationship with Ginny, but hearing as much said out loud made him shudder with horror. "Yeah," he agreed softly, not so much because that was the only right thing to do but because the thought was so horrific that he didn't care to dwell on it.

"And you won't try to interfere if she meets someone else?" Charlie added.

"Charlie, I _tried_ to make her meet other people," Lupin protested. "It's what I _wanted_. I didn't _want_ her to be saddled with a married man old enough to be her father."

"Yeah, I know," Charlie said softly.

Lupin was surprised. "You do?" he asked.

"I've thought about nothing but Tess since she left," Charlie admitted. "About how, when I first met her, she held me at arm's length and protested til she was blue in the fact that I deserved someone older and whole and I didn't care – I only wanted her. And when I got the annulment papers, I stormed over here, determined to get her back or be killed in the process – because the alternative – living without her – was no alternative at all." He took a long swig of his firewhisky. "I think I've been crazy about her from the day I first met her. I didn't care about anything else – when I wasn't with her, she was all I thought about, and she was all I thought about when I _was_ with her – when I found out about the annulment – it's like there's this driving force _here_ – " he thumped his fist against his heart, " – that makes me feel the way I do about her and makes me willing to fight the world for my right to be with her. You know I came to blows with mum over her?" he asked.

Lupin's eyes went wide with surprise. The seven Weasleys had always been a little afraid of Molly, who could bring them into line with a withering glance or a Howler... but at the same time a part of him _wasn't_ surprised. He understood that driving force that Charlie was talking about. "You did?" he asked.

"Yeah. She was going on about Dark Creatures not being able to have children and me denying her being a grandmother. I called her a bigot, so she hit me, and I hit her back, I was so angry," he admitted. "And you know what? I'm not even sorry I did it. I mean, I'm sorry now that there was so much bad blood between us when she died, but I'm not sorry that I defended my right to be with Tess. I hit my mum over my wife and I'm not sorry I did," Charlie admitted frankly. "And when I was with her just then – she broke my nose and I didn't care because I was with her." He took another swig of firewhisky – a longer one this time – fortifying himself for what was on his mine. "We – the six of us – have this driving passion. We always have. Even Percy, though you don't see it much. Mum and dad were like that too. You saw it in the way mum was about all of us, the way dad was about muggle things..." Charlie trailed off wistfully, thinking about times gone by when the six of them had been the nine of them. Lupin waited until his brother-in-law was done with his trip down memory lane.

After a long pause, he started again. "My point is... I know what that driving force feels like. I know that when we want something, we go after it. I _knew_ Tess liked me and was attracted to me, so I pursued her until I ground her down and she couldn't be bothered arguing with me anymore. I offered her love and companionship until it was too tempting for her to turn down. And while it's easy to think of Gin as my kid sister, she's twenty-two and just as capable of that drive as any of us. Don't get me wrong, you shouldn't have put her in a situation where feeling developed, but I understand that, having developed... what I'm trying to say..." he fumbled. It wasn't easy to admit that he understood the driving passion that had possessed Ginny to pursue Lupin in the same way he had pursued Tess; it wasn't something he cared to think about when it came to his sister. "If you were free to marry her, I'd support it," he finally finished. "But you're not. So I want you to stay away from her. I want your word, Remus. Ginny has all the passion of a Weasley and romanticism of youth – I should know. She'd be here in a heartbeat if she thought there was any hope."

"You have it," Lupin said. "You're right. I should never have gotten involved with her – I should never have allowed us to become as close as we did for it to happen." He was lost in his thoughts for a moment, thinking about how much deeper his loneliness ran now, wore even than those first days when Tonks had first fallen before his sense of loss had dulled to a point he could muddle through with the rest of his life. _It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? _Who had ever invented such twaddle? He wished he'd never met Ginny, let alone gotten involved with her.

He wished he could be with her again.

Lupin's thoughts were so clear that he may as well have been projecting them straight onto Charlie using Legilimency. "Woah," he said. "You really love her."

"I thought we established that," Lupin said painfully. "She's... like you, I guess. Like the lot of you. She looks at me... the way you look at Tess. Like my age and lycanthropy matter about as much as if they didn't exist. We had this _thing_... when I was with her, nothing else mattered. I always felt guilty as sin afterwards, though," he added ruefully.

Charlie was silent for a few seconds; it was exactly how he felt about Tess... except minus the feeling-guilty-afterwards part. "What about Tonks?" Charlie asked.

"I have to go back to her," Lupin said simply. "There's no annulment, and even if there was... she's the mother of my son. I wouldn't leave her even if I could. But it wouldn't be the same between us. I didn't realise how incompatible we were until I was with Ginny," he admitted.

Charlie smiled ruefully at that. "I never understood why you guys were together," he admitted. "She never liked sex much."

_At least not the way I like it_, Lupin thought, but didn't say out loud, because by extension that meant _the way Ginny likes it. _"Which she didn't tell me until _after_ we were married," Lupin said. "It became this compromise between what she could tolerate and how far I could restrain myself. After I found that out, I couldn't fathom why she had been so obsessed with me... especially when I found out about _your_ reputation." Charlie had founded a reputation at Hogwarts – which he had no doubt cemented in the years between graduating and marrying – of being as enthusiastic and aggressive in bed as he was on the Quidditch pitch. Given Tonks hadn't much liked sex with Charlie for precisely that reason, her puppy-like devotion to a werewolf – who, as a breed, were _known_ for their high sex drives and aggressive sexuality – was, indeed strange. "It made me question even further what she saw in me."

"You always sell yourself so short – you and Tess both," Charlie said, remarkably supportive for someone who only days ago had been raging about Lupin as a child-molesting seducer of his baby sister. "I didn't get why she was so besotted with you because she never seemed very sexual, but I can see what she saw it you as a human being. Your students love you. Teddy loves you. You've always had this massive capacity for love and support. Who else but you would have gone to the lengths you did to help Tess?"

"That was after – "

Charlie waved his hand dismissively – and somewhat drunkenly. As hard-living as he was, he still couldn't keep up with the werewolf constitution of his brother-in-law. "I know Tess was bitten _after_ you married," he said. "But you still came charging to the rescue, determined to keep her from biting. People don't just wake up one morning, having had a complete personality change, and go do something like that. They do it because their ability to be compassionate and supportive was already there. Tonks would have seen that – you should give yourself more credit."

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "_You've_ changed your tune," he said dryly.

"Look, I doubt I'll ever be able to convince anyone else – " by that, he meant his brothers, "but... I trust you when you say it's over. And... I understand where you're coming from."

"I appreciate that," Lupin said quietly.

The two men talked long into the night. "Charlie?" Tess's voice came in the early hours of the morning. She walked out of her bedroom, a simple, earthly beauty about her in her dressing down, her long blond hair hanging loosely around her face. "Remus?"

"In here, babe," Charlie called.

Tess padded into the living room. Charlie held out his arm unsteadily, and Tess sat in his lap. "Don't you know by now not to try and out-drink Remus?" she asked, but it was affectionate teasing, Lupin noted pleasedly. While he had appreciated that Tess had come charging to his side, he'd been deeply aggrieved that it had caused such a rift between her and her husband.

"It's fine, babe," Charlie said, thinking that maybe he _shouldn't_ have had that last glass of firewhisky. It was just that it was so hard to refuse, a matter of pride really, when he had such a reputation for holding his liquor and yet he wasn't able to keep up with his weedy-looking brother-in-law.

"Not fighting anymore?"

"I was never fighting with _him_," Charlie pointed out. "I was fighting with _you_ – ouch!" he winced when Tess wrapped her arm around his chest and squeezed playfully.

"Careful, you broke a dozen bones," Lupin said. He couldn't help but grinning; only Charlie could have a dozen bones broken by his own wife and barely register.

Tess obligingly started to slide off Charlie's lap, but Charlie held her firm. "It's fine," he said. "It was worth it to have you with me."

"Are you right to get him into bed?" Lupin asked.

Tess nodded and helped a drunk, sore Charlie back to her bedroom. Momentarily, he turned back to his brother-in-law, a thought just occurring to him. "Remus?" he asked. "Please tell me that Ginny didn't let you get away with the crap that Tonks did."

Lupin chuckled, remembering. "God, no. She once almost took a chunk out of my neck for failing to forewarn her about the new wing at St. Mungo's." And he rubbed his neck where she'd bitten him, remembering that that had been the day he'd told her he loved her.

"Good," Charlie said approvingly, pleased that his kid sister showed far more spirit than Tonks ever had.

Tess led him into her room, lay him on his back and carefully moved to the other side of the bed to give him and his sore body time to recuperate. "Hey," Charlie said indignantly, drawing her awkwardly into his arms. "I'm not so sore that I can't hold my wife." _In my arms, where she belongs_.

Tess obligingly curled up to him, her face against his chest, and he was careful not to let the ache chow, because Tess would move away from him against if it did, and he'd rather have Tess in his arms than less strain on his sore body – although his wife might disagree. "I missed you," he murmured softly into her silky hair.

"I missed you, too," she admitted. "What did you and Remus talk about?" she asked.

"Tess, do you remember the first time we met?" he asked.

She frowned in confusion. "What's that got to do with anything?" she asked.

"Just go along with me, will you?"

"Shell cottage. Just after my first full moon," she said, and shuddered to remember those first few months when she was a new werewolf with all the cravings of her kind and Wolfsbane hadn't yet made leaps in effectiveness and quality control. Lupin had looked after her as best as he was capable of, but he'd sent her to Shell Cottage for the full moon, because Bill had some understanding of what it was like to be a werewolf without being out of commission for those pivotal nights.

Charlie hugged her to feel her shudder. While he'd been there for a lot of it, he couldn't imagine what it was like to go through what she did every month. "You looked so beautiful," he said softly. "Not just physically – although that's a given – but you had this _aura, _this _presence_... you were so battered and vulnerable but strong and determined at the same time, like you were determined to fight this thing or die trying, because you couldn't give into the dark side." She had actually reminded him a little of his mother, but he didn't dare say that to her. "I was so drawn to you, I had to be with you. Bill warned me that you'd turn me down flat and avoid me if I came onto you, so I settled for being your friend until you let me be alone with you, and then you let me hold you, until you were comfortable enough around me and I meant enough to you that you wouldn't cut off all ties with me for making a pass at you. I'd never felt that way about anyone until I met you." He grabbed her left hand and twisted her wedding ring around her finger. "I never saw myself being married until I met you. When I was apart from you, although I could think of was how to engineer another meeting with you."

Tess squirmed pleasantly in his arms, to know the effort Charlie had put in to be part of her life, to gradually chip away at her defences. How many men, having realised that a relationship was out of the question for the time being, would have patiently worked at being her friend until he could aim for something more? "That's all very nice, but – "

"Stop interrupting, I'm getting to that. I felt this _drive_, like I had to grind down your defences, or – well, I don't know what the alternative was, really, I just knew that all other women paled compared to you. And when I was with you earlier, I didn't care about my nose or anything else – and I've fallen off my broom enough times, I know how painful a broken bone is. Everything paled next to this need to be with you. And it forced me to think... I can't deny Ginny those feelings without belittling her. I know the effort I went to to get you – I know how much you meant to me that it was all worth it. And I know we all have that determination when we want something. I'm not excusing him for allowing things to get where they did that feelings developed – he should _never_ have spent that much time alone with a single woman – but... I don't think he seduced her. I think they do love each other. And I have his word that he won't contact her again."

She propped herself up on one elbow, scarcely believing what her husband was saying. "Really?" she asked. "What about the others?"

"I can't speak for anyone else," Charlie said. "Though I think I can get Bill around to be thinking. Mum didn't like Fleur, either."

Tess giggled. "Really? Did she like _anyone_?"

"Loved Hermione. And Harry. I suspect she would have adopted them if she could." He thought about how she would react to learn about Ginny and Lupin, and was glad that, for that at least, she was dead.

* * *

><p>"I have his word, Bill, and I trust him," Charlie said with quiet dignity, silently pleading with his brother not to push it, because, after all, Ginny had been an adult who had made an informed decision, and any friction within the family over it was affecting his marriage.<p>

"_Trust_ him?" Bill asked incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me. He seduced out kid sister."

"Oh, come off it, Bill," Charlie scoffed. "Did Fleur seduce you? Did Tess seduce me?" And both their wives were creatures known for their sexual prowess.

"That's different. We're – "

"Married, I know, and that _does_ make it different," Charlie said. "But that doesn't mean they love each other any less... or that Ginny was any less... er... enthusiastic in pursuing him than we were. He says he didn't mean for it to happen and I believe him. We both know how persistent she can be when she wants something. Hell, you saw how persistent I was with Tess. He gave me his word that he won't approach her, and I believe him."

"He shouldn't have started it in the first place," Bill said coolly. He wanted to say more, but checked himself, reminding himself of the position that Charlie was in. "He'll stay away from her?" he asked.

"Minerva threatened him with his job. No matter how much he loves Ginny, he loves Teddy more. He won't jeapordise his means of providing for him. And that's not even taking into account his basic human decency – and he has a lot of that, Bill, you can't deny that." It was just that they both felt better knowing that first and foremost, Lupin would take Teddy's welfare into account before his own desires.

Bill nodded slightly. He didn't like it, but it was the best of a bad situation.

* * *

><p>In his rooms, Lupin was surprised at just how quiet it was without Tess. He hadn't realised how good his sister was at distracting him from his loneliness – or maybe they had both been determined to distract each <em>other<em> from their heartache.

Except now that Tess and Charlie were reconciled, and the place seemed so empty. He hadn't realised how much she had taken his mind of Ginny.

It was funny. He hadn't thought he couldn't possibly feel any worse than he had when Tonks had fallen. The guilt, the loss, the loneliness, the sheer emotional exhaustion of being a single parent – it wasn't something he would have wished on anyone... well, maybe the aunt who was responsible for Tonks being in her situation, if Bellatrix was _capable_ of such human emotions as guilt and loneliness. Those first months had been horrendous on his soul.

But they were nothing on the guilt, the loss, the loneliness he was feeling now. Guilt – for cheating on his wife. Loss – that he was never going to be with Ginny again, never hold her, never see that smile that was just for him, in private, never wake up next to her. Loneliness – that deep sense of loneliness to know that he loved two women and couldn't be with either of them.

He'd never felt so lonely in his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Alice Penelope Longbottom was born shortly after the commencement of the summer holidays, something McGonagall was exceedingly grateful for. As it was, work at the castle had come to a grinding halt as teachers and the orphaned students who had nowhere else to go gravitated towards the Gryffindor rooms to marvel at the new baby. Alice would no doubt be huge for morale at the castle – it already did a lot of people good to watch Teddy toddle along and grow up in front of their eyes, but this was different, this was a child born to a practicing Professor who they – students and staff alike – would know from her first few days of life.

Not to mention, McGonagall said dryly as she presided over the skeleton staff at Hogwarts one dinner – a dinner that Neville was once more absent from – it had been difficult enough getting Neville to show up to classes as Luna progressed in her pregnancy; there wasn't a hope in hell of getting him to do anything but skip around the castle, never more than a few meters away from his wife and daughter, marvelling at the perfection of both his 'girls' as if he was the only man in the world who had ever married or fathered a child. At least, at the beginning of the three-month summer holidays, there was nothing pressing that needed to be done and hopefully by the time school went back, Neville would be a little more collected. In the meantime, staff and students alike were congregating in the Gryffindor Tower to offer their congratulations and well-wishes to the new parents.

All the staff and students, with one noticeable exception.

Neville returned to their rooms one afternoon to find Luna with Alice, a box on the floor. "Kreacher brought this," she said in an odd, funny voice. It was no doubt yet another gift for them or Alice – although it was unusual that the elf had brought it. Gifts were brought by owl if they were from someone outside the castle, in person if they were from staff or students.

Neville had a sinking feeling as to who would have gone to the effort of sending a gift – without actually having dropped it off. And he had a feeling Luna knew who it was, too.

It was a stunning baptism chalice, fashioned out of bronze with fine gold lines threading delicately through it. Rubies and sapphires decorated the rim. It was stunning and classy – exactly the kind of thing Lupin would think of. Not to mention rather costly. Not that money was much of an issue for him these days, but still, he had put such thought and money into it...

And yet, he hadn't even bothered to drop it off personally. He cared enough to get Alice a gift – and a very thoughtful one, at that – but couldn't get over his bitterness at being separated from Ginny – and the part Neville held in all of it. Neville had never been so aware of the breach between him and Lupin.

He suddenly burst into tears.

* * *

><p>Lupin wasn't exactly surprised to see Luna on his doorstep hours, Alice in tow, after he had sent the chalice to the Gryffindor tower. He hadn't been completely sure about sending the chalice, but in the end had decided that it wasn't fair to take his issues with Neville out on Alice... especially when he'd already organised the chalice for the little girl.<p>

He knew Neville was too restrained in his personality to confront Lupin; but the same couldn't be said for Luna. And if Neville had been upset enough, well, there was no telling how far Luna would go in defence of those she loved.

"You're breaking his heart," Luna said, her tone the closest to anger that Luna ever got to – anger that, given this was Luna, was so much more terrifying than the same tone coming from anyone else. "And you know his heart's too valuable to me broken."

"What, and mine isn't?" Lupin countered. "Or Ginny's?" He took sadistic delight in seeing Luna flinch; he knew Ginny had sent Neville a vicious letter that had sent the young man into a deep depression that not even the birth of his daughter had completely dislodged him out of.

"He did what he had to," Luna said. "You can't seriously have thought you could keep getting away with it. She deserves better than that!"

"Yes, I had thought of that," Lupin said. "I didn't make her do anything. We weren't doing anything illegal. Just because _you_ get to be with the one you love without any social repercussions – "

"Oh, that's crap, Remus, and you know it. You're _married_. I'm sorry that things have been so hard for you, but you can't take it out on Neville. He deserves better than that, he's only tried to be your friend. He wouldn't have done it if he didn't care about you and Ginny, and you damn well know it. Here," she said, shoving the chalice in his direction. "If you can't be his friend, then don't send him any gifts."

She started to go, and Lupin felt a prick of conscience. "Luna, wait," he called. "Come in. And bring Alice. It's droughty in the hall, it's no place for a baby."

Smiling triumphantly, Luna walked into the rooms. Lupin led them into the small living room, put the chalice on the table and held his arms out for Alice. "I have my own child, Luna, I know how to hold a baby," he said, remembering that he, too, had thought anyone but himself and Tonks incapable of holding Teddy. Luna reluctantly handed over Alice, and Lupin settled into one of the armchairs, the baby in his arms. "Hi, Alice," he cooed. Then, "She's going to have your eyes, you know."

Luna beamed, albeit in puzzlement. "How can you tell?" she asked. Like all babies, she had blue eyes.

"You can see the flecks of grey," Lupin said. "I have supernatural sight, I pick up things that most humans miss," he said. "I was pleased as anything that Teddy had green eyes. I was so pleased it was all he inherited from me."

"Other than your intelligence," Luna said.

Lupin laughed at that. "He could very well have gotten that from Dora. A lot of people don't realise this, because she got into so much trouble, but she was very smart. They don't let just anyone into the Aurors." Alice grabbed at his little finger and he allowed her to suck on it. "You come from very courageous stock, you know," he crooned. "I was in the original Order of the Phoenix with your grandparents, and your dad killed one of Voldemort's Horcruxes," he said, knowing full well that Alice couldn't comprehend what he was saying – but wanting to share with her the glory that was her family anyway. "And your mum – your mum faced a werewolf's anger for love of her husband and daughter. That takes a lot of guts. And love, and loyalty. We need that in this new world."

"We hoped for them to be friends," Luna said shyly. "When we found out it was a girl, he had these dreams of them getting married and living happily every after."

"I think we've already got Victorie earmarked for that," Lupin said with a grin. "But I did want them to be friends." He stroked Alice's cheek gently in a way that sent the baby cooing. "I was so jealous when I heard about the pregnancy," he admitted. "I'm pretty much resigned the fact I'm not going to have any more children. I think that's when I first really started to understand that things with Ginny couldn't go anywhere."

"Do you love her?" Luna asked.

Lupin nodded. "Yeah, I do. I know how selfish I was to go down that road, to let things progress as far as I did, but... I know this isn't an excuse, Luna, but I _am_ lonely." He twisted his wedding ring around on his finger. "I miss them both so much," he admitted. "I wish I'd never met either of them."

Luna nodded with that sympathetic understanding that only Luna seemed to possess. "If you weren't married – " she said uncertainly.

Lupin smiled ruefully. "I know, everyone's said that. I'm not sure if they mean it or not."

"I'm sure they do."

"I don't know, maybe. I know _I_ wouldn't want me for a brother-in-law."

"That's not true, Remus. _I_ would... if I had a brother," Luna amended. Lupin smiled at that; he had no doubt of Luna's sincerity... but Luna was a woman apart from most of the witches and wizards of the world. So it was probably for the best that he _was_ married and his relationship with Ginny _couldn't_ go anywhere.

He skilfully veered the topic of conversation away from Ginny, mostly focusing on Alice – and, adorable child as she was, it was an easy topic to settle on. Motherhood suited Luna, and Lupin had no doubt that fatherhood suited Neville, too.

It was later in the evening when Luna finally left. "Luna?" Lupin asked as the young witch started to go. "If he'd like, Neville's welcome to come over for a drink."

* * *

><p>The following day, a nervous Neville was at the front door of Lupin's rooms. "Sweet Merlin, Neville, did you leave anything in stock at Honeydukes?" Lupin asked. Neville was loaded down with slab upon slab of chocolate from the famous confectionary store.<p>

"I never took notice of what you liked," Neville said.

"You never felt the need to," Lupin pointed out. It wasn't something he was criticising Neville for; in fact, he felt oddly guilty that after all these years of friendship, Neville suddenly felt the need to appease Lupin with a small fortune in chocolate. "Come in. Do you want a drink?"

"I'd love one," Neville said eagerly, in a tone that left no doubt to the fact that Neville wanted the drink to be as strong as he could get. Lupin poured them both firewhiskeys.

There was a long pause between the two men, before Lupin said, "She's a beautiful girl. She's going to have Luna's eyes."

"She said."

"When I first heard about the pregnancy – aside from being insanely jealous, that is – I thought that she – or he – was going to be the closest Teddy would have to a brother or sister. And I couldn't think of anyone with better parents to be a sibling to Teddy. You're one of the most courageous, integral people that I know. You and Luna both. I – " he struggled with the next words. "I was wrong to treat you the way I did. I knew it couldn't last, but I was too selfish to give her up... and I blamed you for forcing the issue."

"I didn't want to," Neville said falteringly. "I wish I'd never found out about it."

"You did the right thing," Lupin said. "I think that's why I was so angry. It was easier to be angry than take responsibility for my actions. I was an idiot to think that anything could happen – anything good, at least."

"You miss her?" Neville asked.

"Of course I bloody miss her. I wouldn't have gotten involved with her if I didn't – never mind," he finished abruptly.

"If you didn't love her?" Neville pressed uncertainly, because he had been desolate over the loss of Lupin's friendship and didn't want to start pushing the boundaries now... though he _did_ want to know if Lupin's feelings for Ginny had been genuine.

"Yeah, OK, I loved her," Lupin admitted.

"Loved? Past tense?" Neville asked.

"Love," Lupin admitted. "Do we have to talk about this?" he asked.

"I know it must be painful for you," Neville said. "I thought a lot about what you said. About the hardest thing for me being trying to work out if Luna liked me back."

"Neville, I didn't mean that," Lupin said guiltily.

"Yes, you did. Because it's true. I never realised how easy I had it until I thought about what you were going through. I know how much happier you were for being with her and I know you've been unhappy since you ended it. When I first found out about it, I just couldn't understand it because I've never known you to be anything but highly principled... so you must have really loved her to get involved with her. I just wish it could have worked out better for you. You're always getting the short end of the stick, and you deserve so much better than that."

Lupin smiled sadly at that. "I always figured it was payback for the terrible way I treated Dora. I was never very good at telling people how I felt about them. And now I'm finally at a place where I feel secure about my place in society and I love two women and I'd do anything to be with them but I can't."

"Remus, I'm so – " Neville started to say.

Lupin waved him away. "Please, can we not talk about this?" he asked in a strained voice, and Neville knew he was on the verge of tears. His heart twisted guilty. If he was faced with the same situation, he would have reported it to McGonagall the same, but that didn't make it any easier to know he had taken away something that made his friend so happy, and a friend who had so little to be happy about... "Is it true that you told Augusta that Hades would freeze over before Alice went to Morganna's?" he asked, eager to change the subject.

Neville smiled at that. He had finally found the courage – and a big enough reason – to stand up to his domineering grandmother, and naturally, it had been blown all out of proportion. "I told her it was my decision and I had been miserable at Morganna's. If all else failed, I was going to blame it on Luna. She can be mighty determined when she wants to be."

"I noticed," Lupin said dryly.

* * *

><p>"A letter came for you," Bill said to Ginny the next day. "From Remus."<p>

It was a twist in his gut to see how happy Ginny looked to have heard from Lupin – it was the first time she had smiled since she had come to live at Shell Cottage.

Her happiness turned into a scowl when she saw it had been opened. "You read it?" she asked accusingly.

"Of course I read it. And judging by the contents, he expected me to read it," Bill said, refusing to feel guilty for opening his sister's mail. No doubt Lupin had expected him to do just that – he hadn't tried to deliver it to Ginny secretly, or placed any anti-tampering charms on the parchment. And the message was dry, almost non-incriminating. "Do you want it or not?"

"Yes," Ginny said grudgingly, snatching the parchment off the table.

_Ginny,_

_Alice Longbottom is a charming girl. You'll like her. Hating Neville isn't achieving anything, and the three of you are missing out on a beautiful friendship. I know they both miss you a lot. Don't blame him for what happened – I would have done the same thing in his shoes, and I think you would have, too. Please consider being friends with them again. They're too good people to cast aside because they were doing the right thing. You're only hurting yourself._

_Sincerely,_

_Remus Lupin. _

Ginny crumpled the parchment up in her fist, angry and disappointed. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting in those few seconds between learning Lupin had written to her and reading his words, but it hadn't been this. It was so – _final_. So _formal_. Like what had happened between them was nothing of consequence, nothing to be upset about now that it was over.

She knew she should be following his lead, not blaming Neville for the end of their relationship, but she couldn't find it in himself to be gracious and understanding about it. She tossed the parchment onto the table and fled to her room.

"I'll go," Charlie said. He followed Ginny into her room.

"Go away," Ginny said tearfully.

"He's right, you know," Charlie said sagely. "Taking it out on Neville won't make things better."

"You have no right to come in here and lecture me about what will and won't make things better," Ginny seethed. "You – and Bill – both of you think you can lecture me about what I can and can't do and who I can see and what I should do."

"We're not _lecturing_ you, Gin," Charlie said helplessly, because that _was_ kind of what they were doing. Even with good cause. "We're just saying you're only hurting yourself by hating Neville. And things were never going to work out between you and Remus, not while Tonks is still alive. Surely you knew that."

Ginny's face crumpled up in tears as she couldn't deny that. She _had_ known that things could only have ended the way they had... or with Tonks's death. "You've no idea what it's like to wish someone was dead," she cried.

_Wanna bet?_ Charlie thought, thinking about junior, although somehow, he knew that Ginny meant people who had every right to be alive. "I'm sorry," he said, sincerely upset at his sister's happiness. He took Ginny in his arms and let her cry, wishing there was something he could do about it. "But taking it out on Neville isn't going to achieve anything. Remus is right. You both would have done the same thing in his situation. Are you really going to punish him for doing the right thing?"

* * *

><p>"Neville, take a seat. I have a parchment for you. From Ginny Weasley." Neville eyed it gingerly. Why had it been sent to McGonagall, and did he really want to read it, after her last vicious parchment that had shameless recalled every little insecurity and hurt that he'd felt and confided in her? "You can relax, it's nothing nasty," McGonagall assured him. "And everything going between here and Shell Cottage is being run through Bill and I."<p>

"You don't trust them?" Neville asked.

"I trust Remus well enough," McGonagall said. "I trust Ginny about as much as I trust her brother not to charge in here and confront his wife. Here, at least read it."

Neville took the parchment.

_Neville,_

_Remus says not to blame you for what happened, and since there aren't many people whose judgement I trust more than his, I suppose I should at least try. Bill says I'm not to come to Hogwarts so you can come to Shell Cottage if you like._

_Ginny_.

"That's her idea of not blaming me?" Neville asked. It sounded like she was choking on her desire to print what she really wanted.

"You may deserve better, but since you helped break a Weasley's heart, it's all you're going to get," McGonagall said. "Do you _want_ to go? I can spare you for the rest of the day, if you'd like."

"What – _now_?" Neville asked.

"Why not? Before you start building up all the worst-case scenarios," McGonagall pointed out.

So Neville went after quickly letting Luna know what he was doing. He was nervous as all hell as he took the Floo to Shell Cottage, and understood what McGonagall had meant about going before he could start building up worst-case scenarios; he was _already_ building them up.

Bill knew he was coming, and met him at the grate. The two men had met several times over the years, and Neville had liked him. The Weasleys were good people... which was why he felt so bad about doing what he had to Ginny and Lupin. "How is she?" he asked.

"She gets it in her head that it wasn't your fault," Bill said. "I suppose I owe you a debt of gratitude for it."

"I didn't like doing it," Neville said, feeling like a fraud for having Bill indebted to him over something he felt so awful over. "Especially now that I know how unhappy Remus is without her. I'm glad I _didn't_ know what I was doing when I did it," he admitted; it would have been so much harder to go through with had he known.

Bill let that one go; there was a part of him that knew exactly what Neville was talking about. Easy enough to report immoral behaviour when you didn't know exactly how complicated things were; a lot harder when you realised how much good people were hurting for your actions. He, for one, was glad that it was Neville and not him who had been in the situation.

He directed Neville to Ginny's room. He was shocked to see how much she had changed since he had last seen her, at his grandmother's birthday. That Ginny had been vibrant, in love – even if it was a bad relationship. This one had had the ground whipped out from under her, without even the opportunity to say a proper goodbye. "I'm sorry," he blurted out, his words sounded hollow to his ears – how could you ever find the words to cover the guilt you felt for knowing you were responsible for this drastic – and negative – change in personality?

"Remus says you're not to blame," she said, and she sounded like she had memorised the words, clinging to his last communication.

"I hated doing it," Neville said. "I wish I'd never seen it."

"He told me to look for his ring," Ginny said blandly. "He _told_ me there'd be hell to pay if anyone but me found it. I didn't want to think about it. I was quite happy for it to stay missing."

"I can imagine you would be," Neville said dryly. Your married lover's missing wedding ring was hardly something you wanted to focus on, was it?

Ginny sat on the edge of her bed and vaguely motioned for Neville to join her. "I miss him so much," she admitted. "What everyone says is true – that it was going to have to end at some point – but that doesn't make it hurt any less. And I can't even bring myself to wish that it had never happened. I loved being with him, Neville. I can't imagine being with anyone else. You don't know how lucky you are that the first girl you ever loved, loved you back."

"Remus said some things that – were maybe needlessly cruel, but true," Neville said. "That the worst thing I ever had to deal with was working out if Luna loved me back, and that that didn't exactly work out badly for me. He's so aware of how badly he treated Tonks, and how much he misses you. It's hell to see him so unhappy, and I wish I could do something about it."

"I wish she were dead," Ginny admitted frankly. "I wish I was pregnant so he was forced to do something. I wish I'd tampered with his contraception when I'd had the chance and that miserable old bat would be forced to acknowledge me."

"That miserable old bat, as you so charmingly refer to my boss, would have fired him, and he'd have to support two children on no income, not to mention he'd still be married," Neville pointed out calmly. He had no doubt that Ginny was capable of tampering with Lupin's contraception if the thought had occurred to her at the time – certainly, she seemed desperate enough in retrospect – and was glad that the werewolf was hyper vigilant about his Wolfsbane, and therefor the contraception that was bound to it. "And as for her being dead – you don't _really_ wish that. You'd rather be apart from him than have a good woman dead for the sake of your happiness."

"Maybe," Ginny admitted in a small voice.

"Remus was right – you're a good person, Gin, and I think you would have done the same thing if you were in my shoes. How would you feel if it were Luna, and it was me playing around on her?" Ginny mumbled something about hating him and something even more unintelligible which Neville took to mean something she didn't care to fess up to. "He does love you, but it can't go anywhere. It can't. My parents lived twenty years after Bellatrix – and they were the same age as Tonks was. You could be forty if you waited for him – or older."

_Forty_. She was only twenty-two now. She couldn't imagine waiting another eighteen years... but she couldn't imagine living without him, either.

She burst into tears at the impossibility of the situation.

Neville tentatively patted her shoulder, and when she didn't push him away, he took her into his arms. He knew there was no point in telling her that it would be OK; it would take her a long time to get over Lupin, if she ever truly did. But the reminder of how long Tonks could still live for had seemed to finally sink the reality of the situation in.

* * *

><p>"I'm so lonely," Lupin said to his wife a few days later. He was glad to be on friendly terms with Neville again, but seeing the younger man so happy in marriage and fatherhood only served to remind Lupin of what he couldn't have. "I hate this, Dora – <em>hate it<em>. What did I ever do to deserve this? Was I that bad a husband to you?" He grabbed her hand and started twisting her fingers through his own. "I know I wasn't there when you needed me, I know I ran away when you needed my support. But I never did it maliciously, I honestly though – I know that doesn't change the fact that I abandoned you, but surely intention counts for something? Every time I look I Teddy, I think about how much he's missing out on because you're not around... how much we're both missing out on. And," he admitted, because when he was on a roll with being honest with his wife, he may as well go the whole hog, "I miss her, too. I know I did a lousy thing by you, but I hope you understand how hard it's been for me. I don't _like_ using prostitutes – and I never even knew that until I was with you – and then here was this amazing young woman who looked at me – well, like you used to look at me. I'm sorry I didn't realise just how valuable your love was at the time. I would have done a lot of things differently," he said, on a rambling path now, alternating between thinking about Tonks and thinking about Ginny. "I'm so sorry," he said again. "I wish I could change things." He kissed her hand. "I still wish you would wake up. I still want to make things work between us. Maybe it's selfish, but... I'm so lonely. I want to be loved. What ever did I do to love two women and not be able to be with either of them?"

* * *

><p><em>A knock on the door woke Lupin up in the early hours of the morning. Grumbling, he went to answer it. It was McGonagall, and he wondered what he had done wrong <em>this_ time._

_"Remus, I'm sorry to wake you up at this hour," McGonagall said, not sounding the least bit apologetic – in fact, she sounded euphoric. "It's your wife. She's awake."_

_... He arrived in her room, which, over the years, had been converted to more of a studio apartment than a hospital room, something Andromeda had justified since she spent so much time there, but now, he was happy for the hominess of the room. _

_She looked beautiful. Her hair had grown in the intervening years so it was waist-length now, although she hadn't fussed with the colour the way he hated. He smiled at that; no doubt it was because her natural colour was the way he liked things. He kissed her chastely on the cheek, not sure exactly what he was supposed to do. _

_She sat down first so he didn't have to work out what he was supposed to do, take her in his arms, his lap – instead, he sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders casually. _

_"How's Teddy?" was the first thing she asked._

_"He's great," Lupin said, and launched into a length description of his various landmark events and triumphs – all things he had already told Tonks, and all things he wanted to tell her again... and she wanted to hear again._

_She smiled indulgently when he finally took a breath. "I recall a time when you were terrified of being a dad," she said._

_He looked guilty at that. "I'm so sorry," he said. "I love him so much and when I think about how much I wanted you to get rid of him..." he shuddered at the thought, and he smiled again._

_"I knew you'd make a good dad, you just had to hold him for the first time," she said knowingly. "I wish I'd had what it took to convey that to you. I never seemed to be able to get inside your head. We weren't very compatible," she said. Her tone was reflective, but not sad, as if the tragic waste of their life together as a married couple was something that she was so far beyond that she could reflect on it analytically, without the tears and hysterics that had punctuated her desperate attempts to make him stay in that first year._

_"No, we weren't," he admitted, more sadder than she was over it, but at the same time, floored and impressed by her reflective, philosophical attitude. "That doesn't mean I didn't love you, though."_

_She smiled. "I know you loved me. You wouldn't have tried so hard to keep me at arm's length if you didn't. You would have just let me have my way with you until I got bored."_

_His eyes went wide at her wording; he had said that exact same thing, almost word-for-word, a year ago. "I said just that to – " he stopped abruptly. Was it not the height of tackiness to mention one's mistress in front of one's wife?_

_"To Ginny," Tonks finished. "I figured it would start like that. You run into each other and conversation falls upon your exes. I never saw her with Harry, you know. When you worship someone for the longest time, the reality hardly ever matches up with the fantasy – I should know," she added dryly. _

_"I'm sorry," he said guiltily._

_"Don't be, Remus. I understand, I do. I mean – I'm not a saint, I was hurt when you first told me, but... I do understand. And for all that you do your possessive-werewolf act, I think you would have understood if the situation had been reversed." He snorted at that; he knew how much it drove him crazy to see Harry pay Ginny attention, and how angered he had been when Ginny had needled him with the thought of Tonks with Charlie... "You _would_, Remus," Tonks insisted, smiling indulgently at her husband, who had always thought so little of himself. "And I think Ginny would be good for you. The Weasleys are all so... passionate. I bet she doesn't let you get away with much."_

_"She once nearly took a chunk out of my neck when I failed to let her know I would be late on account I had a St. Mungo's thing with your mum," Lupin said._

_Tonks laughed at that – genuine mirth. "I can just see it," she said, and if Lupin wasn't mistake, he heard something akin to _approval_ in her voice. "You know, I saw Charlie with Tess once – this would have been just after she'd been bitten and she was having a hard time of it. He'd managed to get her in his lap to comfort her. It was enchanting to watch. She'd try to hold him at arm's length but he still managed to get through her defences. He had this... exuberance, this insistence without being threatening about it. I was so jealous, I could never work out how to be that with you, never worked out how to make you let me be a comfort to you. I never had that fire that they all have. I hated it in Charlie when we were together but when I saw him with Tess I realised how perfect he was for her, and I can see that Ginny would be good for you."_

_"It doesn't matter, it's over," Lupin said, trying not to sound miserable about it in front of his wife._

_She stroked his hair comfortingly, and it was the first time he had allowed himself to take comfort out of her touch – he was usually pushing her away. When he was engaging in wild, animal sex with her that she didn't even like. "It doesn't have to be," she murmured soothingly. "I'm leaving you, Remus."_

_He twisted around abruptly to look her in the eye. "You're – what?" he repeated incredulously._

_"Leaving you," she repeated. "There's nothing for me here, anymore, Remus. Ours wasn't a happy marriage... we aren't suited to each other. I want you to be happy, and I think you're going to have that with Ginny."_

_"But – but – you can't. I don't want you to leave," he said, finding himself meaning the words, because although she was right – theirs hadn't been a happy marriage – he still loved and respected her, and they had had a good camaraderie when they had simply been friends. "What about Teddy?"_

_"He has the best dad a boy possibly could have... and I think he'll have a good step-mother... and if you're not, I trust my mum to keep you in line," she said with an affectionate smile._

_He looked at her intently. She was serious. She was leaving... and she was giving him her blessing. She was leaving _because_ she was giving him her blessing. "Please, Remus... you wanted me to understand about you and Ginny. _I_ need _you_ to understand that I can't stay here. I want you to promise me that you and Teddy will move on with your lives and be happy – please – I'll be so much happier knowing that."_

_"I promise," Lupin said thickly through tears, touched by his wife's understanding of the situation and mired in misery at his impending loss after such a brief reunion. "I love you," he whispered._

_"I know. And I know you always did. And I know you know I'll always love you," she replied, and when he went to kiss her, he realised that for the first time in their marriage, he was kissing her as someone he had an equal relationship with, someone he could relate to as another adult, one that he loved deeply and could say so..._

Lupin bolted upright at three in the morning, already crying. He'd had vivid dreams about Tonks when she had first fallen, but nothing like this, and not in a way, anyway. He missed her so much that there was a very real ache in his chest over it.

He stumbled out of bed and headed for the shower. The water shocked him out of the last vestiges of sleep, but did nothing to chase away the vivid reality of the dream. He could taste her on his mouth, feeling her on his fingertips, smell her in the air.

He was glad Teddy was with Andromeda as he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a large glass of firewhisky from the decanter he'd materialised. Then, realising he needed more than a glass and there was no-one around to witness him, he drank straight out of the decanter. The firewhisky burned his throat but did nothing to help dissipate the memory of the dream; if anything, it made it seem more real.

He had worked through most of the decanter before there was a knock on the door. Lupin was immediately on edge, ever supernatural fibre of his being kicking into overdrive. This felt like déjà vu...

It was McGonagall.

"Remus, I'm sorry to wake up at this hour," McGonagall started, but the scene was so different. She looked deeply troubled, on the verge of tears herself... perhaps only restraining herself out of respect for Lupin's own troubling news. "You need to go to t. Mungo's."

"Why?" Lupin asked, tensing.

"It's your wife," McGonagall said, as gently as she could. Funny how these things never got any easier – no much how bad news she had to break, no matter how old her students got... "I'm so sorry," she said, and for the first time since she had knocked on Lupin's door, bringing him such terrible news, she wondered what he was doing up, showered and dressed at not-quite-four in the morning, drinking heavily. Was this a normal occurrence for him... or had some sixth sense alerted him to incoming tragedy?

"No," Lupin whispered. "No, no, _no_."

"Remus, I'm sorry," McGonagall said again. She went to touch him comfortingly, and he jerked her off.

"_NO!_" he screamed. "No! It's not true! I won't believe it! I won't!" And he clapped his hands over his ears and looked remarkably like he had when he'd been younger and been told about his parent's death – except when his parents died, he hadn't been saddled with the guilt that he hadn't spoken to them for years, hadn't betrayed their memory by finding a replacement for them...


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Ginny came downstairs the next morning to see a very sombre Bill, Fleur, Charlie and Tess. "What the – " she asked, floored and a little unsettled by this gathering. "Someone die?" she asked flippantly – a choice of words she would long regret.

"Nymphadora Lupin," Bill said, almost choking on the formal name, and yet, it seemed disrespectful to refer to her nickname.

"Who?" Ginny asked. When it clicked who they were referring to, it felt like a knockout blow to her stomach. She groped for a chair; Charlie waved his wand and one materialised right under. "Oh, Merlin..." she breathed. She had known that the only way for her and Lupin to be together was for Tonks to die, had even wished it – although she hadn't meant it, and Neville had called her out on it – but it was one thing to know that in theory, and quite another for in to happen. She felt a stab of guilt, as if her wishing for Lupin to be free had caused Tonks's death. "When? How?" she asked.

"The night before last," Bill said. "And we don't know. She was there one lot of rounds and not the next."

_Like Neville's parents_, Ginny thought. She remembered how she had thought the circumstances surrounding their deaths had been spooky and kind of sweet – the vegetative parents who had waited twenty years for their son to fall in love and want to marry before they went. But now, in _these_ circumstances, there seemed something tragic and guilt-inducing about Tonks's death.

She knew he had told her about their affair. Had he said something to her following their breakup that had... she swallowed. She didn't want to think about it.

And if _she_ was feeling like this, how was _he_ feeling about it all? Probably guilty as hell.

She had to see him.

"Don't even think about it," Bill said flatly, trying not to sound unkind when it was obvious what his sister was thinking. "Remus and Andromeda have specifically requested you not be there."

Ginny felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. "_What?_" she asked.

"I'm not sure why you're so surprised," Charlie interjected. "She was his _wife_. You may not like to think about it, but he did love her. _Always_ did. Do you really think he's going to want you around to remind him of is infidelity? And even if he did, do you think Andromeda would tolerate you?" Merlin knew, smarter, more powerful witches than Ginny had made the mistake in believing that just because Andromeda was sane and on the good guy's side, didn't make her any less a dangerous witch as her sister Bellatrix when she chose to be. "Do you _really_ think charging in so soon after his wife has died is going to endear you to him? And _never_ underestimate what an influence Andromeda is on him. If she thinks you've tarnished her daughter's memory by moving in on him so soon – "

Ginny gulped visibly at that. She had never thought about how it would look to everyone else, should Lupin get involved with someone so soon after his wife's death, even given the circumstances. Or, for that matter, that he _would_ be grieving for his late wife, even if it had been five years, even if he _had_ fallen for someone else in the meantime. And Andromeda _could_ be fearsome when it came to thinks that were dear to her – like her grandson, or her daughter's memory.

She slumped in her chair, momentarily conceding that her brothers were right.

"I can't believe I'm advocating this tactic, but let him come to you," Charlie said, squeezing Tess's hand discreetly, because if he'd let her come to him, they'd never have gotten anywhere. "If he really loves you, he'll eventually come around. And if he doesn't, you don't want to confuse things under these circumstances."

* * *

><p>Lupin looked dully at the crowd that had gathered in the Tonks home. He supposed he should be grateful that so many people had come – every staff member of St. Mungo's that could get away, the same with his own colleagues at Hogwarts, dozens of friends of Tonks's had he had never met – he had never been that involved in her life – and the entirely Weasley family, sans Ginny.<p>

He was glad for that. He couldn't deal with Ginny right now. He couldn't deal with much right now. He couldn't focus on much beyond his guilt.

He had wished to be single enough times that he had managed to kill his wife. He remembered learning about Frank and Alice, and thinking it was romantic and sweet in a spooky way that they had held on long enough to see their son happy with someone, that they had somehow understood that now it was time to let go. And then he had gone and complained to his wife enough times that he wanted to be his mistress, and look what had happened. He'd killed her. He'd made her miserable in their first year of marriage, then hounded her to death in their last.

No, he couldn't face Ginny right now.

"Remus? How are you holding up?" Charlie asked. His brother-in-law looked awful, far beyond any reasonable expectation of someone grieving, even deeply so. This was a man who looked haunted by guilt. He knew Ginny herself was feeling guilty about the times she had wished Tonks would just die – a young woman's frustrated ranting, not meant in the least, but nonetheless a heavy weight for her to wear now that it had actually happened. And if Ginny felt like that, how did Lupin feel?

"Fine," Lupin grunted.

"You look like hell."

"My fucking _wife_ just died, Charlie, I wasn't aware I was supposed to be keeping up appearance," Lupin said sarcastically. "Sorry," he said contritely. He knew he was ne short with people who were only trying to show that they cared, but he was so _tired_ of their condolences. None of them – even those who had lost someone close to them – had a clue what he was going through. None of them could understand how guilty he felt. Not even Neville, who hadn't exactly wished his parents dead.

"It's fine," Charlie said. "No-one's saying you have to keep up appearances. We just don't want you to shut yourself off. A lot of people care about you, Remus."

Lupin smiled wanly. "Who's the old woman?" he asked, gesturing to yet another woman that he didn't recognise, but, unlike Tonks's friends, was elderly and dressed in prim muggle clothes.

"That's Audrey, Tonks's grandmother – Ted's mum," Charlie said, making a face.

"You don't like her?" Lupin asked; it was the nearest topic that wasn't directly about Tonks that he could find.

"She's... a little intolerant," Charlie said. "She blamed Andromeda for Ted staying in the magical community, and Andromeda retaliated by sending one photo of Teddy and then letting her stew. I'm surprised she was even invited. I'm surprised she even _knew_."

"Andy told her about me," Lupin said vaguely.

Charlie couldn't help but smile. "That sounds like her," he said.

"She always liked you," Lupin said flatly.

"No, she didn't – oh, you meant Andromeda," Charlie said, cause Audrey hadn't liked him much more that she had liked Andromeda. "We weren't good together," Charlie said awkwardly, because he was aware of just how much Andromeda had liked him as her daughter's boyfriend, and wasn't sure what he was meant to say to the son-in-law that Andromeda had, at best, a cordial relationship with.

"Neither were we," Lupin said in that same flat voice. Charlie fidgeted awkwardly; what the hell was he supposed to say to _that?_

From across the room, Audrey Tonks eyed Lupin through bitter eyes. It was easy enough to work out who he was; the mourners had been gravitating around him, and the little boy Teddy had drifted between him and Andromeda all day. _Her great-grandson who she had never met_. The Black bitch had sent her one photo, along with a note that his father was a werewolf, then nothing. If her son was still alive, she would have seen more of the boy – like she had seen _something_ of her granddaughter, because Ted had overridden Andromeda's objections – but because it was all down to Andromeda now... it was obvious from the way that Lupin was looking at her curiously that he had no idea who she was.

Her only son was dead. Her only grandchild was dead. Her daughter-in-law had kept her great-grandson – her only living relative – from her out of sheer spite. And allowed her granddaughter to marry a werewolf. None of this would ever have happened if Ted had just _listened_ to her, if the Black bitch hadn't gotten her claws into him.

Like most muggles, Audrey had no tolerance for firewhisky, and a little had gone straight to her head, making the bitterness manifest itself. She watched her great-grandson who didn't know who she was and her grandson-in-law who was more of a freak than her daughter-in-law – _and_ not much younger than her daughter-in-law, to boot – with increasing rage, until she finally thought it was a good idea to go confront Lupin.

"YOU!" she screamed at him, marching up to him, unsteady on her feet. "You – _freak!_"

"Audrey," Charlie said quietly, and Audrey recognised the stocky redhead who had been her granddaughter's high-school boyfriend. She remembered not thinking much of the wizard at the time, but he _had_ to be an improvement on Lupin.

"You _killed_ her!" she screamed, because it was nice to have someone to lash out at after she had lost so much. "You – perverted – freak – you _corrupted_ her!"

"I didn't – " Lupin said in a small voice, far too sober and guilt-ridden to be any match for Audrey's vehemence.

"_Shut up!_" Audrey screamed. "All of you – you make me sick!" she screamed, twirling around and facing the crowd of hostile friends and family. Andromeda was walking quickly towards her. "And you _especially_," she spat at her daughter-in-law.

"Get out of my house," Andromeda said coldly, reminding everyone there that she was Bellatrix's sister and making even Audrey quake. "I didn't want you here and I especially don't want you here now." Kingsley Shaklebolt had suggested it – suggested it in his strong, persuasive way that made it difficult to refuse the Ministry of Magic – since Audrey had lost her granddaughter – and Andromeda had thought it was best to grit her teeth than deny to what would seem to others as a reasonable request.

She now regretted it, and her right hand waved over her hip – discreetly but powerfully, the way she had a knack for doing. Audrey may not have known her sister, but she knew the look of a determined woman who possessed considerable magical power – and was backed up by a roomful of friends and family who weren't exactly without power of their own. A hateful look in her eyes, she backed away.

"I'll take you to the train station," Charlie offered. He could drive, after Tess had insisted it was a muggle skill that he should learn, and he was glad now, because he didn't trust Tess to drive the woman. She had broken half a dozen bones in a fit of passion for him – she would do more than that to the woman who had accused her brother of corrupting his wife.

"Remus, she didn't mean – " Andromeda started in a rare moment of sympathy for her brother-in-law.

"She meant every word," Lupin said flat. "Excuse me," he said, and he left the room – his own wife's wake.

* * *

><p><em>Lupin stirred in his sleep and woke up, horny as hell like he got this time as month. His wife was curled up on her side next to him, he slim arm flung across his chest. In her sleep, her hair had returned to its natural medium brown, a naturalness that he found insanely sexy. He wriggled out from her arm and flipped her into her stomach. He pulled down the tracksuit pants she was wearing, along with her underwear, and slipped his fingers inside her. She was still wet from their previous exertions. <em>

_She stirred in her sleep. "Remus, no," she protested. She _hated_ this position, and had told him so last month. She wished he could be gentle and undemanding the way he could be when she had first asked him to ease up. "You know I don't like it like this," she complained._

"_You know _I_ do," he countered. "Please, love..." He stroked her expertly, turning her on despite herself. She moaned in spite of herself and he took that for consent. He positioned himself beyond her and penetrated her. He grunted deeply when he pushed all the way inside her, his balls slamming against her backside. "Oh, sweet Merlin..."_

_He slumped onto his back when he was finished, having brought them both to orgasm. Tonks dressed quickly and turned on her side away from him. "Dora?" he asked quizzically, feeling the coldness radiating from her. He would have felt less alone in his own bed had she not been in it. "What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing," she said coolly._

"_Is it because of the sex?" he asked. "You came."_

"_You make your whores come, doesn't make them any less whores," Tonks countered._

"_Don't be so vulgar," he snapped, deeply troubled that she felt like that... and at a loss as what to do about it. She didn't like sex with him – or at least, in order for her to like it, he had to restrain himself to a point he lost a lot of enjoyment. It was like they couldn't be happy on the same sexual wavelength, and naturally, he hadn't found this out until _after_ they were married. "Did you _ever_ like it? Did you like it the first time?" he asked. He had agreed to start seeing her, mostly because he was lonely and he didn't have the energy to fight her in his loneliness, and partly out of genuine attraction and feelings for her. They had consummated their relationship in a storage closet at St. Mungo's. He'd had to clamp his mouth over hers to stop her from screaming. He'd thought she'd loved every second of it, and now it turned out and had merely tolerated it because she loved him and didn't want him to reject her on the very reasonable basis of sexual incompatibility. _

_Now it turned out to be a lie, and he was furious to be trapped in this marriage based on a lie._

"_You're my _wife_," he reminded her angrily. "You knew _exactly_ what you were marrying. If you don't like it, file for annulment."_

_She turned to face him, her eyes wide with panic at the suggestion. "Remus, no – I _love_ you."_

"_Then roll over."_

"_Remus, please – "_

"_Roll over or file for annulment," he snarled, determined to win this argument. She wanted to be his wife, she could goddamn satisfy him. He turned his head so he couldn't see her tears before she rolled her. "Good girl," he said, stressing the words with heavy condescension..._

Lupin woke up with a start. The dream had been so vivid, like his earlier dreams when Tonks had first fallen, except _those_ dreams had been full of holding hands and loving looks and shared moments of emotional intimacy when he had returned to her and accepted his responsibilities as a soon-to-be father. He had forgotten the power struggles between them when he had used her roughly in bed – or in the shower, or bent over the kitchen counter, wherever the desire struck him – and invariably won because she was madly in love with him and would put up with being treated like a whore if the alternative meant him leaving.

He felt sick, and conjured up a bin to throw up in. He had forgotten... or rather, he had _chosen_ to forget. Who wanted to remember treating your wife like a prostitute? And she had been so in love with him that she had just taken it... he felt wracked with guilt to remember how badly he had treated her.

He conjured up a decanter of firewhisky. He couldn't remember the last time he had bothered with a glass; he needed to much too send him into blackout where she wouldn't haunt his dreams to bother with a glass...

* * *

><p>Professor Horace Slughorn was strolling through the basement floors of Hogwarts the next morning when he came across Teddy Lupin, sitting on the floor outside the front door to the DADA rooms, crying forlornly. He thought quickly. Lupin had explained, apologetically but firmly, that Andromeda had made it clear that he was to have nothing to do with the boy. Slughorn had complied, partly out of genuine remorse for the way he had hurt his student all those years before and partly out of genuine fear for Andromeda should she find out that he'd disobeyed her instructions. But he was confident that ignoring a six-year-old locked out of his home and crying at the wrong side of the front door was outside the realm of a reasonable request.<p>

He crouched awkwardly; he wasn't used to being a child-level. "What's up?" he asked, as kindly as he could manage.

Teddy had been told that Professor Slughorn had been mean to his grandmother, but right now, all he cared about was that a kindly adult had stopped to relieve him of his predicament. "Daddy wouldn't wake up so I went to breakfast except there was no-one there and I couldn't get back in," he sobbed.

"Breakfast isn't served in the Great Hall during summer break," Slughorn said kindly. He suspected the reason Lupin wouldn't wake up was because he was out cold from too much firewhisky – something he had taken to consuming a _lot_ lately. "I can get you into the rooms." The charm on the front door was one easily performed by adult wizards and witches but beyond the abilities of students, let alone a six-year-old boy, even a precocious one like Teddy. He left Teddy in the front room, checked on Lupin – passed out from firewhisky, just as Slughorn had suspected – and returned to the little boy. "Tell you what, why don't you come and have breakfast with me?" he suggested.

Teddy looked doubtful. "Grandma says – "

"I know what your grandmother thinks of me, but I don't think she would mind if I made sure you had breakfast," Slughorn said. "We'll write your dad a note, and he can come and get you when he wakes up." Teddy thought about that seriously for a second, then decided Slughorn was making sense. He waited for the professor to write a note and followed him the short distance to the Potions rooms, to be greeted by –

"Doggies!" Teddy cried.

"That's right, I forgot, dogs don't like your dad," Slughorn recalled. At least of the regular domestic variety, they sensed the cursed canine that made up part of his physiology and got frightened of him; Slughorn's two English Toy Terriers – who seemed to take after their owner after some time, highly sociable but rather cowardly – tended to cower in fear whenever Lupin was around. Naturally, this had proved to be a huge disappointment to Teddy – what boy _didn't_ want a pet dog? – and just as naturally, he had never been in Slughorn's rooms to discover the two canines. "You can play with them, they're friendly. The one with the bow is Emerald and the other one is Blackie."

"Like Grandma's name," Teddy said. "Before she married Grandpa." He plonked himself down in the synthesized outdoor area that Slughorn had charmed for the dogs. Emerald and Blackie took to him as much as they feared his father.

Slughorn had known that Teddy was a precocious boy, but hadn't realised _how_ precocious. "That's right," he said. "I taught most of your family – I mean, they were in my house – and Heads aren't supposed to have favourites, but, well, they were mine," he admitted.

"Then how come Grandma hates you?" Teddy asked shrewdly.

"I didn't approve of her marriage," Slughorn admitted. Strange how you started talking to Teddy as if he were so much older than he was within minutes. "I was wrong, but she couldn't forgive me. It was my fault," he admitted. "I said some mean things that I shouldn't have."

"Like Audrey," Teddy said, and Slughorn took note of the fact that he called her by her Christian name, not be the title of great-grandma. "She said some mean things about daddy." Teddy's face screwed up in concentration as he tried to remember what Audrey had said. "What's pur-pur-" he attempted.

"It means she thinks your mum and dad shouldn't have married," Slughorn said delicately. "But she's wrong," he added sympathetically. "I taught your dad, you know – though he wasn't in my class. But he was very smart and a very good friend – he was a good husband and he's a very good dad. I know he loved your mum and she loved him."

"Really?" Teddy asked. People didn't like talking about his mum. Except Uncle Charlie, and he was in Romania all the time.

"Yeah. That's why he sleeps so much. He's very sad," Slughorn said, figuring it was kind of the truth. He was certainly _drinking_ heavily since Tonks's death, so that constituted grief-stricken actions, didn't it?

"I don't like it. He doesn't play with me anymore," Teddy said sadly.

"Oh, s-Teddy," Slughorn said, cutting himself off before he addressed the boy as _son_, knowing instinctively he wouldn't like it. "He'll play with you again soon. He loves you so much. He'll remember how much he loves to play with you."

Teddy digested this, and seemed to take cheer from it. He sat down to breakfast with Slughorn. "I can't believe how much sugar you eat," Slughorn remarked.

"That's what Uncle Neville says," Teddy replied. Slughorn was torn between disapproval – it was a bad habit for Teddy to be calling his future professors Uncle Neville and Aunty Pomona – and a longing to be Uncle Horace to this bright, enchanting boy. "It's what dad eats."

"Your dad burns energy faster than humans," Slughorn said. "Mind you, your mum burned through energy, too. She was always in trouble. Your Uncle Charlie had a spotless record except when it involved her." Slughorn had left Hogwarts by the time Charlie and Tonks had come through, but he had kept track of Andromeda and her daughter through the years.

"We don't talk about mum and Uncle Charlie," Teddy said seriously. "It makes dad and Aunty Tess jealous." But he said it in a way that sounded like he wanted to hear more about it.

Soon much of the hours of the day had past and there was a knock on the door. It was Lupin. "Sorry, Teddy," he mumbled. There was a haunted look in his eyes that Teddy wasn't _quite_ insightful enough to pick up on, and splotchiness in his skin that not even his healing abilities could rejuvenate fast enough. The man was drinking heavily, every night.

"Teddy, why don't you go and say goodbye to Emerald and Blackie," Slughorn suggested. "I'll stay in the hall with your dad so he doesn't scare them."

"Sissy dogs," Lupin mumbled under his breath.

"You want to talk?" Slughorn asked, ignoring the comment about his dogs.

"To you? No," Lupin said shortly.

"Your son was locked out of your rooms," Slughorn said. "I know you're in pain, Remus – "

"Don't," Lupin hissed. "Don't you _dare_ talk to me about pain. You don't know a thing about it." He looked as though he was going to say something else, but stopped himself before he insulted Slughorn anymore. "Teddy!" he yelled. "It's time to go!"

"You can come visit the dogs anytime you like," Slughorn promised, gritting his teeth and letting Lupin's comments slide. "Remus, if you ever need a friend – "

"I'll go knock on Neville's door," Lupin said shortly. He knew Slughorn meant well, but he didn't want the man's sympathy – or worse, his pity. And there was nothing Slughorn – or anyone, for that matter – could do to assuage his guilt.

* * *

><p>"<em>You couldn't keep it in your pants, could you?" Tonks's face was right in his, jeering him, accusing him of a betrayal that went far deeper than infidelity. Telling him that the sex was bad enough, but to go and fall in love with someone young enough to be his daughter – as if she hadn't been young enough for him. They were the words her mother had used, only made him feel so much worse.<em>

"_I tried..." he said weakly._

"_Oh, you _tried_," she scoffed. "I was so in love with you, and you repay me _how_ exactly? By screwing a _kid_."_

"_I'm sorry..."_

"_Don't!" she screamed at him. "Don't – try – apologising _now_. You _used_ me. You told me you loved me, you walked out on me, you made me do disgusting things, you cheated on me. You _bastard_, I wish I'd never met you."_

"_Dora – "_

_She struck him hard across the face. "I wish I'd never met you," she said again. "You made me miserable, and you'll only make her miserable."_

Lupin bolted awake again and automatically groped for his firewhisky. "You don't need that," Charlie said.

"Yes, I do."

"It puts you in blackout."

"I like blackout. I don't have nightmares. And what the hell are you doing here?"

"Minerva asked me to come by. The general opinion is that you're drinking far too much. Remus, you can't do this to yourself. You can't do it to Teddy. Horace said he was locked out of the rooms because he couldn't wake you and went out by himself for breakfast. _Please_ stop," he begged. It frightened him to see Lupin so quickly disintegrating into a drunken mess. "Do you want to talk?" he asked. "Tess and I are both worried about you."

"I was such a bad husband," Lupin blurted out. "I treated her like crap and walked out on her and generally made her miserable."

"She loved you, Remus," Charlie said. "I saw the way she looked at you. And you did the right thing by going back. That was all that mattered."

"I raped her," he blurted out.

"Ah. You raped her... or you guilted her into doing things she didn't want to?" Charlie asked. "Because that's not the same thing. I know, 'cos I did it to her a few times. She – I loved her, but she was so _conservative_ about some things – y'know, given her personality. I felt like I was always pushing her. Did you sleep with her before you were married?" Charlie asked bluntly. Lupin nodded slightly. "So she knew what you were like, and she married you anyway. She has to take at least half the blame for your incompatibility."

"That doesn't change the fact I killed her," Lupin said.

"No. Bellatrix killed her," Charlie said.

"I wanted to be free – "

"Remus, that had nothing to do with it. Even if you said something to her – and I know you saw her the night she died – she didn't up and die just because you wanted out of the marriage. She wouldn't have left Teddy if she had a way of coming back to him. Don't be so fucking arrogant as to think she'd put your happiness so far ahead of his. If she left because of something you said, it was because she knew she wasn't coming back." But Charlie could tell that his words weren't getting through to him.

* * *

><p>"Daddy, please don't drink that," Teddy pleaded. "It makes you mean." He wondered when his dad was going to start playing with him again like Slughorn had promised. All he did was drink the foul stuff that made him mean and sleep a lot. His world had been turned upside down. The mother he had never known had died without every speaking to him, ever holding him, and his dad was disintegrating in front of his eyes. He felt frightened and lost.<p>

"Go away," Lupin said thickly. "Go find Neville and Luna. Go play with those stupid fucking dogs of Horace's."

"Daddy - " Teddy said beseechingly. He went up to try and give his dad a hug.

Lupin responded by pushing Teddy away violently, and for a werewolf 'violently' meant halfway across the room. He was too drunk to realise what he'd done as his son went screaming across the room, and returned to his firewhisky and the oblivion that it promise.

Teddy picked himself up, his arm throbbing where he had landed on it. He knew better than to go to his father for help. He left the rooms with some difficulty, using one arm, and went running towards the teacher's lounge where he hoped he would find more sympathetic adults than his father.

"Uncle Neville!" he sobbed, throwing himself into Neville's arms. Neville hoisted him up onto his hip, careful of his arm that was clearly broken from the awkward angle it hung at. Teddy wrapped his good arm around Neville's neck and buried his face into the side of his neck, sobbing brokenly, more out of shock that his father could hurt him than the pain of the broken arm itself.

"It's OK, kiddo, I'll take you to the hospital wing," Neville said. He fluttered his fingers awkwardly at McGonagall without loosening his hold of Teddy, indicating he wanted the Headmistress to follow him to the hospital wing. "You're safe now."

He carried Teddy to the hospital wing and eased him onto a bed. "What happened?" he asked kindly. Teddy bit on his lip and his eyes darted wildly around the room, clearly torn for a longing for the paternal sympathy Neville was offering and getting his dad into trouble – which only confirmed what Neville and McGonagall already suspected. "It's OK, Teddy, we want to do the best for you and your dad," he said, choosing his words carefully so he wasn't lying. "Did he hit you?"

"Pushed me," Teddy corrected tearfully. "I wanted him to stop drinking that red stuff and he told me to go away. Then he pushed me." He started to cry in earnest. "He didn't mean to," he said plaintively. "He and Aunty Tess are super-strong."

"I know, kiddo, but Charlie's an adult and Tess wasn't exactly the first time he broke a bone, you've seen him fly," Neville said dryly. Teddy started to cry harder, weather in response to the truth of Neville's words – that Tess and Charlie pushing each other around in the heat of passion was a lot different to Lupin pushing his son hard enough to break a bone while drunk – or just because he was in pain and shock, but it distressed Neville almost as much as it distressed Teddy. "It's going to be OK. You can stay with me and Luna tonight and... " he trailed off, looking to McGonagall for support, both as his and Lupin's boss and the closest thing to a mother either of them had known. It felt good to push his concerns up the food chain of command.

"I'll see about your dad," McGonagall said soothingly, her tone completely masking the fury and concern that the adults in the room could pick up on. "He's a very sick man."

"He never gets sick," Teddy sniffled.

"Not in his body, no. But he's sick and sad in his spirit – his soul. He's taken your mum's death very badly."

"Is there a cure?"

"I hope so."

* * *

><p>"Remus Lupin, I have tolerated your behaviour since Nymphodora's death but it <em>stops now<em>. You are a danger when you're drunk and I don't think I've seen you sober since the funeral. You could have _killed_ Teddy, do you realise that?" Lupin mumbled a vague apology; by the looks of it, he hadn't yet sobered up from last night's bender. "Remus, I'm sending you to a retreat in Nepal." It was an isolated community that dealt with these kinds of problems, mostly applying muggle solution of detox and emotional and psychological therapy. Because Merlin knew, no amount of magic was going to ease the pain and guilt that was haunting Lupin's heart and mind.

He suddenly looked very sober as his eyes bulged out in surprise and then fury at what he considered to be McGonagall's meddling interference. "Nepal!" he yelled. "I'm – not – going – to – _Nepal_. And I'm not going to your stupid retreat, either. You can't make me."

"No, I can't," McGonagall said. She had expected this response to her offer – and offer that most would consider rather generous, consider he had given her more than enough evidence to fire him, and didn't seem particularly inclined to put a halt to his actions. "But I can fire you, and throw you out of this castle, and give Andromeda all the evidence and testimony she needs to sue for sole custody," McGonagall said pleasantly.

Lupin's eyes glittered dangerously. "You wouldn't dare," he hissed.

"I would dare a lot for the sake of my students," McGonagall said. "And I won't watch Teddy grow up terrified that his dad will hurt him when he's been drinking. You go on this retreat and you sort yourself out, or say goodbye to your son and get the hell out of my castle."

Lupin didn't need to challenge McGonagall further to know that she was perfectly serious... and deep down, he knew he would have done the same thing if he was in her shoes. He _was_ a danger to his students... and more importantly, his _son_. He shuddered to think that he had broken Teddy's arm and not even realised it. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I know you are," McGonagall said sympathetically; it was why she was trying to help him rather than simply firing him. "And I know you're in an immense amount of pain and loaded down with guilt. And you need to work through that... without the firewhisky and with people who know how to help you." She remembered that Ted Tonks, of all people, had espoused the uses of muggle sciences like psychotherapy, and the more she learnt about the treatment of the mind through non-invasive procedures, the more she was inclined to agree with him.

"What about Teddy?" Lupin asked, and McGonagall was relieved, because if he was making sure his son would be taken care of properly in his absence, it meant he wasn't fighting the idea. Then, almost as an afterthought, "What about my _job_?"

"Andromeda will cover your classes," McGonagall said. "Teddy will stay with her here in the castle once the school year resumes, and with her or with the Longbottoms, whichever he prefers, until then." The little boy was seriously distressed by the loss of his mother – even a mother he had never known beyond an unconscious figure in a hospital bed – and further so by his father's drunk and abusive behaviour since Tonks's death. McGonagall felt – and Andromeda had reluctantly agreed, even if it could mean Teddy choosing the Longbottoms over her – that the boy should be given as much stability as could be afforded, including the option of staying at Hogwarts rather than being uprooted the live fulltime with his grandmother.

"Andromeda!" Lupin said indignantly. He had never given much thought to who else was qualified to take DADA, but immediately decided that his mother-in-law was _not_ one of them. "Andromeda – "

"Is the Head Healer at St. Mungo's, and sees the consequences of Dark and Dangerous magic day in, day out," McGonagall said. "Everyone else remotely qualified is either too young or dead. And she loves her job too much to do yours as anything more than a favour to you. So you don't have to worry about your replacement not wanting to give the job back."

Lupin just stared into a random point on the wall for a long time, thinking, even though he knew he didn't have much say in the matter. As he'd sobered up, the realisation of what he'd done had chilled him to the bone. He knew he had been insulting and alienating his colleagues – largely because said colleagues were trying to help – but that wasn't nearly as bad as hurting his son. He was descending into alcohol-fuelled, guilt-and-grief-driven madness and he knew he needed _something_ beyond the kindly words of colleagues to stop the decent, to reverse it. "OK," he agreed in a small voice.

* * *

><p>"I'm sending your dad to a place where they specially deal in people who are sick in their spirits," McGonagall explained to Teddy. "Would you believe, thirty years ago, the magical community scoffed at such practices, but your grandad was a big believer in them?" she informed the little boy. Poor child, he looked torn between being pleased at such a thing and distraught that his father was leaving him.<p>

Distress won. "He's leaving me," Teddy said. "Like mum."

"No, not like your mum," Neville said. "He's not going to die. He's going somewhere where he can get better."

"Can I say goodbye to him?" Teddy asked.

"I don't think that's a good idea," McGonagall said. "You see, he loves you very much – that's why he's going, so he can get better and be a proper dad again – but if he sees you, he might not want to leave." Teddy nodded, understanding even if the truth upset him deeply. "But the place he's going, he's allowed to write to you, and Charlie's generously allowed your dad to use his owl – you know Laya – she flies between England and Romania all the time, so a little trip to Nepal won't bother her."

"Who's going to take care of me?" was the next obvious question.

"Well, your grandmother's going to take your dad's classes when they resume, so you'll stay with her in the castle when that happens. Until then, you can choose where you stay. With her, or here with Neville and Luna."

"Uncle Neville and Aunty Luna," Teddy said promptly. It was what they had all expected – even Andromeda. It wasn't that he didn't love his grandmother, he did, but Hogwarts was his home, the only one he had known, barring his alternate weekends and summers with his grandmother, and he was always going to take the option that kept him at Hogwarts. Besides, he was fascinated by Cousin Alice, and all the sick and traumatised people at St. Mungo's scared him at times.

"Good boy," McGonagall said. Then, "I'm proud of you, Teddy. You're intelligent and brave. I know you can't see it much right now, but you're so much like your parents."

* * *

><p>"Here, I got you some stuff for Teddy – just little token things for Diagon Alley, he's not going to know they're not from Nepal, or likely to care if he does," Neville said. "But I think it will mean the world to him if he gets things from you."<p>

"I – thankyou," Lupin said simply, knowing it fell far short of the gratitude he owed Neville. "I haven't been much of a friend to deserve this," he admitted. It had been two days since he'd had anything to drink – which was more like a week to a human liver detoxing – and as he sobered up, he became more and more aware of how atrociously he had acted since Tonks's death.

"I understand more than you think I do," Neville said. Lupin looked sharply at him, but actually seemed interested in his explanation, so he continued. "I never understood why my parents couldn't come back to me – couldn't fight it," he said. "Until Alice was born and I know that if it was me and there was any way of coming back – human, magical, anything – I'd have done it... and so would they have. They didn't come back because they couldn't. So whatever you think you said or did had no bearing on her death. She'd have come back for Teddy and how that inconvenienced you would have been a spec in the distance on the list of her priorities after him."

Lupin gave a small smile. "I appreciate the sentiment, Neville, but that doesn't impact on my dreams. I see her _all the time_ and it reminds me _over and over_ of how badly I treated her. I don't like who I become and what I do when I drink so much, but I don't much like the dreams I have when I'm not in blackout, either."

"I wish there was something I could do," Neville said. Lupin had been the one person he could really talk to about his parents death, and he couldn't return the favour.

"There is. I couldn't do this without knowing that Teddy was in safe hands," Lupin said. "I don't deserve such good friends."

"Stop it, Remus. You deserve far more than you think you do. You always did." _And maybe_, Neville thought to himself, because he knew his friend was in no mindset to believe him, _if you ever realise that, you mind get over this guilt and find happiness with Ginny_. He knew his friend was suffering her own guilt and loss, and thought it was in everyone's interest if they could get past that and find each other again.

* * *

><p>"Gone?" Ginny echoed dumbly. Where the hell was Nepal, anyway?<p>

"It's this little strip between India and China," Charlie offered. "And he's not so much gone as sent away under threat of his job and son. He hasn't been doing well, Gin. He feels so guilty."

"What does _he_ have to feel guilty about?" Ginny asked. "I was the one who wished her dead!"

"And how many times do you think he wished to be free of his marriage – which amounts to the same thing, as far as he's concerned? He didn't treat her that well, and he knows it," Charlie admitted. "They weren't very compatible, and now he's reliving every little thing he did wrong by her, no doubt exaggerated a thousand times in his head. You heard he broke Teddy's arm?"

"I thought that was just vicious gossip," she admitted.

"He's been drinking himself to blackout so he wouldn't dream about her," Charlie said. "It's why Minerva's sent him to some retreat in Nepal. Gin, I told you to let him come to you, and I meant it. But... I think – and Bill agrees, and I think Remus would agree – that you can't sit around all day, waiting for him to come back. He wouldn't want you to, and _we_ certainly don't want you to. _Please_ get out of the house, see other people."

"Will it get you off my case?" Ginny asked tiredly.

"Promise," Charlie said. No-one knew how long it would take for Lupin to return to something akin to normal – 'normalcy' being a subjective term post-war – and none of them wanted to see Ginny waiting for a day that might not come. If it happened, then it happened, but if she met someone else in the meantime, then all the better.

Ginny nodded. "Fine, if it means that much to you," she said flatly. All she could think about was that Lupin had left her once more. And she had no idea when he was coming back – if ever.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"I'm Professor Tonks, your Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher in Professor Lupin's absence," Andromeda said at the beginning of the school year. "I don't answer to my Christian name, my nickname that my cousin gave me that my son-in-law took up, or, contrary to certain people's beliefs, my maiden name." She said this last bit with heavy affectation. Her dislike of Professor Slughorn was well-known; already, the whole school knew she referred to him only as Professor Slughorn, and refused to answer to anything but Professor Tonks... indeed, she seemed to take a certain grim pleasure out of forcing him to address her by her husband's name. "For those of you who don't pay any attention to the school gossip vine – and I'd be surprised if that was any of you – Teddy Lupin is my grandson. Are there any questions?" There were none, which Andromeda was fully expecting; she had no intention of being friendly with her students the way her son-in-law was, and knew that they would talk amongst themselves in lieu of a more accommodating professor. She didn't much care; she knew the more professional you kept yourself, the more they liked to talk behind your back.

She hadn't known exactly what to expect teaching – except that it had to share the name basic principle of imparting knowledge – but was pleasantly surprised by how much she enjoyed it, even just one day in, and – more begrudgingly – how educated Lupin kept his students. She could see a huge difference in the knowledge and ability of his – _her_ – second year students compared to the first-years that hadn't had the benefit of a year of his tutelage.

She wasn't sure she _liked_ conceding that her son-in-law was indeed remarkably talented... at certain things. And she _definitely_ didn't like that, as much love and support as he got from her, Neville, Luna and the rest of the Hogwarts staff (minus Slughorn, Andromeda had seen to _that_) were falling over themselves to provide, Teddy missed his dad. You didn't miss someone like that if they hadn't been a damn good parent.

She joined the staff and students in the Great Hall for lunch; Teddy took her hand and climbed up into the chair on the outside that was his. "How was it?" Neville asked her.

"Fine."

"You mean you were surprised that Remus has his students so well educated?" Neville clarified. Andromeda took note of the fact that Neville was a lot more confident on his home turf. He had apparently felt so confident that he'd managed to tell Augusta that Hades would freeze over before Alice went to Morganna's. "He's an excellent teacher, Andromeda, and an excellent father," Neville said loyally.

"Who cheated on his wife."

"Who cheated on his wife," Neville agreed. "He's only human," he said dryly, because it was the non-human libido that had caused him to stray. "That doesn't make him any less of an excellent teacher and an excellent father. You and I can try all we like, we can't replace him in Teddy's mind – or his heart. Has he stopped going up to the owlery every day?"

"I told him there was no way Laya could get to Nepal and back in under a fortnight with rest and I would take him up personally every day after the fortnight was up," Andromeda admitted grudgingly, because if she hadn't, Teddy _would_ be up there every day, hoping for news. And, to his credit, Lupin never failed to send Laya back as soon as she was fit to fly again – sometimes with just a short note, but always with a parchment of something or other.

"Any indication of how he's doing?" Neville asked.

"He's sober enough to write legibly," was all Andromeda would say, which Neville took to mean he sounded as well as could be deciphered from a series of letters written to a six-year-old boy.

As the weeks wore on, she found herself drifting towards the abandoned Muggle Studies rooms – McGonagall had made a few half-hearted efforts to find a new teacher in the first few years following the war, then given up. It wasn't a position anyone was keen on so far – a fair point, given the last professor had been eaten by Voldemort's Horcrux snake – and McGonagall figured eventually the right person would come along, either under her administration or someone else's, so the rooms got left abandoned.

Andromeda used the justification that she wanted her own space that her son-in-law hadn't made his own over the last six years, and the Muggle Studies rooms had remained empty the longest, but the reality was, they had been her husband's rooms. For a single year, perhaps, but nonetheless her husband's rooms. His picture was up and everything. She felt a certain kinship with him here.

She got so lost in marking first assignments that she didn't realised she had company. "I didn't think these of all rooms would be of any interest to you," Andromeda said coolly. "As I recall, you thought Muggle Studies was a pointless subject. _No sense in wasting time and effort on inferiors_," she quoted him.

"As I recall, you always had a knack for remember what people said and reminding them forevermore," Slughorn responded. It was the nicest thing Andromeda had said to him in thirty years. Mostly she ignored him.

Was that self-depreciation in his voice? An admittance of being wrong, even? Whatever it was, Andromeda found herself granting Slughorn the tiniest of smiles before she realised what she was doing. It quickly disappeared from her face. "Ted used to quote it back to me all the time. He particularly liked doing it when he worked here."

"I wasn't very nice to him," Slughorn admitted. "I at least owed him professional respect."

"Yes, you did," Andromeda said coolly.

"I was sorry when I heard about his death. No-one deserves to lie like that, by bad people away from the ones he loves."

"What would you know?" Andromeda asked coolly. She had never forgiven his choice of words of her marriage, or his treatment of her husband when they had been colleagues, and she wasn't about to start now. "_You_ never married. Never found someone who met your standards?" she asked with venomous sweetness that actually managed to be worse than her coolness.

"No," he admitted. "You were my best student. You were a better witch than Bellatrix and made Narcissa look like a Squib. And you were the kindest student I ever had. I never understood why you chose to hang out with your cousin and his friends when Lucius was so eager to get your attention and you would have been damn good mentor for Severus, but I realise now that you didn't belong in Slytherin. I think if you'd possessed that rebelliousness and sense of righteousness a few years earlier, you would have been sorted into Gryffindor. Or Ravenclaw. Or Hufflepuff," he said wryly. Anywhere but Slytherin for someone who had the heart and sense of right that Andromeda did. "I don't mean it that way," he said hurriedly when Andromeda looked at him with the same look of disgust she must have when she found out that her son-in-law had been carrying on an affair with one of his students. "You just asked me about standards and that's part of why I never married. You're a difficult woman to live up to."

Andromeda was used to male attention; she always had been. When she was younger and highly respectable, she had been fourth in line to being the heir of the Noble House of Black. Even now that she was approaching fifty, she was an exceedingly wealthy, exceedingly respected woman who looked closer to forty of thirty-five than fifty. As a student, she'd created and perfected a discouragement charm, a wordless and wandless incantation that suddenly had boys who were after a date losing interest. As a widow, she wasn't beneath still using it. No, she was used to interest from men who saw a wealthy, esteemed, beautiful woman... but Slughorn's comments rattled her. This wasn't interest for shallow reasons – her standing in the community, her money. This was deep respect, and regret that he had let stupid prejudices blind him to that. "If you don't mind, I have work to do," she said, shuffling her papers to illustrate.

"Of course, of course." Andromeda was glad when Slughorn turned to go – his presence was unnerving her more than it angered her, which was a comfortable place for her – and gritted her teeth when he stopped. "I almost forgot the reason I came here. Don't let what happened between us affect Teddy. He loves those dogs and I'm happy to have him around."

Andromeda waved dismissively. "Fine, fine, I'll send him by this evening," she said. She made it clear that if that wasn't convenient, he was to _make_ it convenient or quit using Teddy's best interest as an excuse to talk to her.

She'd always had a knack of getting her own way.

* * *

><p><em>Tess was attempting a crossword but her hands were shaking badly and she kept jolting to pen across the page. She it across the room with a growl of frustration and wanted to burst into tears.<em>

"_Here, I made you some hot chocolate. OK. Fleur made it," Charlie concedes. His French sister-in-law's knack for cooking with chocolate was surpassed only by Lupin's. _Try and get her to have half_, Bill had suggested. _It'll be good for her stomach_. _

_Tess went to take it, but her hands were shaking too badly and the cup shook in her hands, slopping the beverage violently in the cup. He saw Tess's face scrunch up in pain and impotent anger. "Hey, it's OK," Charlie said soothingly. He slipped his hands over hers, steadying her hold, and pushed the cup up to her mouth. "Try and drink it all, Bill reckons it will be good for your stomach." Tess obediently drank the whole thing. "How are you feeling?" he asked solicitously. She gave him a filthy glare for his troubles. "It's OK to admit you're hurting," he said softly. "It's OK to be angry at what's been done to you." She looked exhausted, and he didn't blame her. It was the day after the full moon, and she knew what was to come that night._

"_Every joint in my body aches," she admitted dully. "And I feel – I can't explain it. I feel like my body's not mine anymore. I have this _craving_ that I _hate_," she said, and he knew she meant an insane craving for flesh – the kind so fresh it had been ripped off a still-breathing animal, preferably human – that was as ingrained a part of her werewolf physiology as it was abhorrent to her humanity. Lupin had said it got better over the years, but that would be cold comfort to her now. _

_She was crying now, from exhaustion and hunger and self-loathing. "Tess..." Charlie felt his own brand of impotent anger, at a loss as how to help her. He pulled Tess into his arms and ignored her when she resisted him, her attempts to push him away weak given how strong she was. He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She wrapped his arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder; he felt her tears seep through his shirt and onto his skin. Perversely, because of her distress and the reason for it, he was immensely pleased that she had finally allowed him to comfort her. And he knew that it was because she wanted _his_ comfort, not just comfort from anyone – well, maybe her pack-brother, but that hardly counted. He _knew_ they had something and loved the feel of her in his arms, the fact she needed him enough to let him in. He held her gently, not offering words of assurance that weren't his to offer. And she seemed to know that such words would be hollow, and just took comfort from his presence and the fact he cared about her. _

_He lost track of time as he let Tess cry in his arms, rocking her gently and stroking her hair, until something possessed him to snap his head up. His ex-girlfriend was looking at them with a look of unmasked jealousy on her face._

"_What the hell was that about?" he asked Tonks later in the day after he had settled Tess enough for her to take a nap. She was staying with them for a while after her mother's 'suggestions' that she terminate her pregnancy had been too much for her. He hadn't thought anything of it until he remembered that werewolves were notoriously jealous and territorial, and that in Tess's case, she was likely to push him away even more than before if she thought there was something going on between him and his Hogwarts girlfriend. "I busted my _gut_ trying to make our relationship work, Tonks, you can't just come in seven years later and decide you want me back. You can't start behaving like a jealous girlfriend _now_. Not like _this_."Not when she was married and pregnant and he was in love with someone else and trying to get her to return his feelings – not, not even that, trying to make her _not scared_ of him _before_ he could start of her returning his feelings._

_Tonks, despite her obvious unhappiness at the state of her marriage, still managed to give him a withering looking worthy of the daughter of Andromeda Black. "You always were full of yourself, Charlie," she scoffed. "I'm not jealous of _her_. I'm jealous of _you_."_

"Me_?" he asked incredulously. "_Why?_" He wondered if _that_ was the reason her marriage was so unhappy – that their own relationship had done nowhere except under the steam of his strong-willed determination – she was into girls. _

"_How do you do it?" she asked, her voice a tortured whisper. "How do you make her lower her guard like that? How do you make her let you comfort her?"_

_All irritation at her belated jealousy or amusement at her interest in girls dissipated into deep sympathy – _pity_, even. He knew _exactly_ what she was talking about. Tess didn't exactly let people in, and she was Aloof Werewolf Lite when compared to Lupin. "I don't know," he said. "I just – she needed comfort and I knew what to do." He knew such words were useless to Tonks; what she was asking was _how do I get my husband to let me in?_ Which actually came after _how do I make him come back?

_Tonks's face scrunched up into tears. "I'd give _anything_ to be able to be there for him," she cried. "He's in so much pain and he never lets me in. I – I guess I knew that before I married him, but I had hoped..." she trailed off. Hoping that a person would change after marriage seemed like such a stupid thing, especially after the fact when it hadn't happened. _

"_Oh, Tonks. I'm sorry. I wish I could help. If it's worth anything to you, I think he'll come back – he's always fulfilled his obligations to a fault."_

"_I don't want him to fulfil his obligations. I want him to _love_ me."_

"_He does love you, Tonks. He wouldn't have married you if he didn't. He would have – well, never mind," Charlie said tactfully. He knew Lupin well enough to know that if what passed between him and Tonks was merely physical, he would have screwed it out of their systems. That he had instead held her at arm's lengths spoke about his feelings for her, even if Tonks couldn't see that. "He does love you," he repeated._

"_I wish he would let me in like Tess does with you," Tonks said sadly._

Charlie was curled up next to the fire, his legs folded against his chest and his arms wrapped around them. "You OK?" Tess asked him softly, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He took her hand, threaded his fingers through hers, and brought the back of her hand up to kiss it.

"Just thinking," he said vaguely.

"About Dora?" she asked. He squirmed guiltily. "You have a right to think about her," Tess assured him. "I don't mind."

"Do you remember when we first met?" Charlie asked. "After you'd first been bitten?" Tess gave a small murmur that he knew to be acknowledgement of that particular memory. "It was the first time you let me hold you – you were so upset, and you cried into my shoulder for about an hour."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I loved every minute of it. I was just thinking about that, because she saw us, and she looked so jealous, and I thought she was jealous of _you_, but she was jealous of _me_. Because I knew how to be a comfort to you. Don't ask me how – I just did. Maybe it's a Weasley thing," he said self-depreciatively. They didn't whine when they didn't get what they wanted; they either cut their losses or tried harder. "I was thinking about you and me and her and Remus and Ginny. He feels so guilty for how he treated her. I wish he could understand that they just weren't right for each other."

"Why don't we go see him?" Tess suggested.

"Why don't _I_ go see him?" Charlie counter-suggested. "There's a reason Minerva didn't want him and Teddy saying goodbye to each other, and it's the same reason I don't think it's a good idea to have you seeing him. He might miss you so much that he thinks it's a good idea to come home, even if he's not better yet."

* * *

><p>"Charlie? What are you doing here? You don't like <em>English<em> weather," Lupin kidded as best he could, although he was more concerned than pleased to see his brother-in-law. "Is everyone OK? Tess? Teddy? _Ginny?"_

"They're all fine – Ginny too," Charlie said. "Tess wanted to see you, but I didn't think that was a good idea. I thought it was best if I came and saw how you were for myself."

"I'm OK."

He _did_ look OK – at least, better than he had a few weeks ago. He still looked sad, but he was sober, and the guilt didn't seem to be weighing him down quite so much. "I'm trying to accept that it wasn't my fault – her death, I mean. I'm not doing so well forgiving myself for how miserable I made her."

"No-one can ever make you believe that you were both responsible for your marriage," Charlie said.

"I was so lonely, and I let her convince me that it was nothing we couldn't work through."

"Ah, I was wondering how it happened. But that's actually part of why I'm here. I was thinking of something Tonks said to me. It was after she found out about Teddy," Charlie said tactfully, because what he actually meant was _in was in those months when you'd walked out on your wife_. "It was Tess's early months and she was having a hell of a time." Lupin remembered his own first months all too well; except he had been six years old with no-one to talk him through it, small comfort though it might have been. "I know this sounds horrible, but I was terribly pleased because she let me hold her, cried into my shoulder for an hour. It was – wonderful, being that close to her, physically, emotionally, knowing she needed me enough to let me in... Tonks walked in on us and had this look of sheer envy on her face. I thought she'd chosen the worst time possible to want to get back with me, but... it was _me_ she was jealous of. That I could get Tess to let me in like that. And you know what? I've no idea how I managed to do it. It's just something I _did_ without thinking about it and I knew what she needed and wanted..." Charlie shrugged; he knew he was going off on a tangent. "I was thinking about it, and you and Ginny. Whatever issues you had in your marriage, she was just as responsible as you were, if not more. She knew who you were and didn't have whatever it is that I have and Ginny has to fight with you about it. She just... went along with things because she loved you too much to object. And that wasn't your fault."

Charlie had run on for a while, and hadn't realised the way Lupin was looking at him. "What?" he asked.

"It was real," Lupin said breathlessly, and there was a strange look in his eyes that Charlie didn't understand.

"What was?" Charlie asked.

"Never mind." Whatever it was, Lupin had decided that he didn't want to share it. "You've come such a long way, why don't you stay the night at least? There's no alcohol here, but I can find you pumpkin juice or hot chocolate..."

* * *

><p>"<em>Neville was right, you know," Tonks said. "That no good parent would leave their child behind, not if there was any other way. If there had been any way for me to come back to Teddy, I would have, and to hell with whatever inconvenience it would have been to you."<em>

"_I know," Lupin said calmly._

"_And Charlie was right. We were so incompatible... and I didn't have the courage to fight with you when you _desperately_ needed someone to fight with you." She looked pointedly at his neck, and he couldn't help but laugh, remembering the vicious and well-deserved bite Ginny had delivered when he'd dared to try and without information from her. "Don't blame yourself, Remus, please don't blame yourself. I want you and Teddy to be happy, you both deserve so much to be happy..."_

Lupin drifted from a dream into a happy kind of half-sleep. He didn't believe Tonks would ever be a ghost, knew that whatever presence had visited him the night of her death had been the last he had ever see of her, and that that dream had been his own self-consciousness... but what sweet peace his self-consciousness had delivered him. It had been _real_. Tonks never would have told him something like that for him to weave into his dreams – she had known how intolerant he was of any mention of Charlie – so it had to have been real, her telling him in what last moments she had that she understood, didn't blame him for their marriage and wanted him to be happy and forgave him for his infidelities. He rolled over and drifted back to sleep...

_He was sitting on the couch, a heavy book balance on his crossed legs and some essays on top of the book that he was only half-heartedly marking. Ginny was curled up next to him, her head against his thigh, and he stroked her long hair with his free hand. She purred contentedly at his ministrations; she was a very accommodating wife when it came to his work. She was content to sit beside him as he marked papers, and on the rare time she got bored, she went to see Luna. Marriage and motherhood had only strengthened to two womens' bond..._

"_Daddy!" Teddy called, running through the door. Lupin's reflexes were just quick enough to dislodge the book and papers before Teddy jumped into his lap, wrapping his arms around his father's neck and hugging him fiercely in the way that only a son can. Lupin rubbed his son's back affectionately the way Teddy loved._

_Seeing the pretence at marking papers was over, Ginny wriggled up to a sitting position, resting her head on his shoulder. Lupin wrapped his free arm around her back. "Mummy," Teddy said, plonking himself down on his father's lap and stretching his legs out so he was on both their laps. He had taken to Ginny as if she had been his _real_ mum all his life. He smiled at both his parents, revelling in the joy of being part of a whole family, and Lupin manoeuvred himself so he could kiss his wife while still holding his son..._

Charlie woke up early and checked on his brother-in-law. Lupin was sound asleep and in the midst of a happy dream. "Gin," he mumbled in his dream, and Charlie couldn't help but grin at that. It was clear that it was a happy dream – but not an erotic one. That meant he cared about her, respected her. That meant a lot to Charlie.

He closed the door and let Lupin continue on with his dream.

* * *

><p>"Can you give this to Ginny?" Lupin asked, looked a little embarrassed. It was a parchment, folded in half, unsealed. Lupin didn't have to say that he had left it unsealed for a reason.<p>

"Sure." Charlie slipped the parchment into his back pocket. He'd talk to Bill first.

"And give Teddy a big hug from me."

"You'll have to wait until you see him again – any hugs he gets from me are from _me_. But I know he loves receiving your letters. And Andromeda's a good teacher, but your students all miss you."

"I'll be back soon," Lupin said, and Charlie believed him. Whatever his memory about Tonks had triggered in Lupin, it could only be a good thing. He seemed to have finally accepted that he couldn't shoulder all the guilt for his unhappy marriage and drink himself to death over it.

* * *

><p>Ginny and Harry were out with Neville and Luna; they had left Alice with Professor Sprout. She had promised Charlie she would get out more, date other people, and Harry had only been too happy to oblige both of them there. He was over the moon when Ginny had accepted his invitation to drinks with their old friends.<p>

Not to mention, Luna was quite happy to be out. Few women were more suited to motherhood, but even she looked forward to a night out with friends outside the castle walls. She was enjoying himself too much to think deeply about things. Though it was quite obvious to Neville that Ginny was distracted, perhaps even here only at the request of her brothers.

He waited until he could speak to her alone. "You don't have to do this, you know," he said. "You don't have to go out with him just because he's there."

"And Remus isn't, you mean?" Ginny concluded. "He left me, Neville. _Twice_. I know he was hurting, but he could have said _something_. He could have written a note. He writes to Teddy every week – why can't he write to _me_? He told me he loved me and left me _twice_ without saying goodbye."

"And you don't think if you feel that strongly about it, you should be dealing with your feelings rather than going out with Harry?" Neville asked.

Ginny tossed her long red hair back defiantly. "I told my brother I was going to move on with my life, and I am, and if you don't like it – well, you can always do what you do best and go blabbing to Harry," she said pointedly. Neville blanched; Ginny was still very good at throwing his 'betrayal' back in his face.

He let it go.

Harry took Ginny back to Shell Cottage at the end of the evening. Bill had delegated him his own room way back from when Ron was still living here, but Harry hoped he wouldn't be using it tonight. He followed Ginny into her room, and she made no protests. "Wasn't tonight great?" he asked, his eyes shining. "I've missed being with you," he said, and swooped in to kiss her.

She kissed him back, going through the motions of passion. She was sure she'd had more fun with Harry way back when she'd been seventeen... that had only been five years ago. It felt like so much longer. So much had happened... and in just a year, too. Had it really been only a year since she had met Lupin last summer?

Harry, if a little disappointed by the lack of enthusiastic response – he remembered when Ginny had been devoted to him in a way that only teenage girls can be – took her _lack_ of refusal as a good sign, and pushed her towards the bed. She obediently lay down and he climbed on top of her. They started making out – if it could be called making out. Ginny didn't participate much. "Ginny," he crooned, delighting that things were going so far. "I've missed you so much."

"Mmm-hmmm," Ginny said, which Harry took to be concurrence. She lay there, almost still, putting in the minimum effort to return his embrace without being a stone, waiting for something to happen inside her. She had known even way back when she had been seventeen that there was something magical missing between her and Harry – that _thing_ that Lupin had talked about, that thing that she had had in abundance with him – but now, after all she had been through this past year, there was even less chemistry between her and Harry then there had been before.

She wondered how Lupin was doing.

She felt Harry undoing the buttons of her shirt and returned the favour half-heartedly. She _willed_ herself to be turned on, waiting for Harry to do something to send her into a frenzy. "Harder, Harry," she urged him when he kissed her skin along the swell of her breasts above her bra. "_Harder!_" she said more urgently, remembering how Lupin would grope and bite and one of their frenzied bedroom sessions wasn't worth doing if they weren't heavily marked by the end of it.

She dug her nails into the back of her neck the way Lupin loved. "Ouch!" Harry yelped. He raised his head, temporarily forgetting how pleased he was to be in bed with Ginny. "What's gotten into you?" he asked. "You're acting... weird."

"I am not," she said huffily.

"You never wanted it... _harder_," he said, making it sound like she was acting like – like a Dark Creature's whore. She wondered how much he knew. Bill and Charlie were the only ones who were supposed to know – plus their wives, Neville and Luna, McGonagall, Andromeda... Ginny squirmed. That was a _lot_ of people to be keeping a secret, and that wasn't even allowing for any other Hogwarts staff who might know.

She shrugged. "I'm not a seventeen-year-old virgin anymore," she said. "Surely _you're_ tastes aren't as simple as they used to be."

"They're not so complex that I like pain," Harry retorted. He peered at her intently. He had heard the rumours, of course. Lupin had been linked to almost every pretty female student he'd had in the last six years, particularly after it became common knowledge that his relationship with Sarah Callahan had been a fact. But he had never given the rumours about Lupin and Ginny any serious thought.

Until now.

"Is it true?" he demanded. "About you and Remus?" he wanted a denying, even a half-hearted one, something that he could take at face value... but the look on her face said it all. "Ginny!" he said, disgusted... and hurt. "What the – he's old enough to be your father! He was my dad's best friend! He's _married_."

"Was," Ginny corrected him.

"Was married when you were fooling around with him," Harry countered. "Jesus, Gin – that's – what were you _thinking_?" He made a face, making it obvious that he thought Ginny had lost her mind... and that her relationship with Lupin was disgusting... and traitorous.

"I love him," Ginny said quietly. Harry flinched at the certainty in her voice; he didn't think she had ever spoken about _him_ like that. Certainly, she had never spoken _to_ him like that. "Believe me, if I could switch it off, I could."

Harry believed her... and it broke his heart to hear it. No-one would _choose_ to love a married man nearly twice their age, and a Dark Creature to boot. So she had to love him an awful lot – far more than she had ever loved him.

"Harry, I'm sorry," Ginny said when she saw how much it hurt him. "If – "

"Don't," Harry said, pushing her away when she tried to place a comforting arm on him. He knew what she was about to say. _If I could love you, I would. I love you as a _friend_. _All of that crap; nothing he cared to hear. "Just – leave me the hell alone. Go play your stupid games with your married werewolf... if you know where to find him," he jeered. Everyone knew that Lupin had been so grief-stricken – or was that _guilt_-stricken? – that he'd been sent to Merlin-knew-where to get over it.

Harry stormed out of Shell Cottage, just about running into Charlie on the way. "Harry!" Charlie said, pleased because it had been so long since Harry had been there, and concerned because the look on Harry's face said the younger man wasn't happy – no doubt because of Ginny. "Where are you going?"

"Home," Harry mumbled.

"It's nearly midnight!" Charlie said. "Why don't you crash here for the night?"

"I'm fine," Harry said, and Charlie could see that he was too angry – or was that too upset? - to bother arguing with.

"What was that about?" Charlie asked Bill.

Bill shrugged. "Beats me. They looked really happy when they came in maybe fifteen minutes ago, and now..." He shrugged again.

"Do you think it has something to do with Remus?" Charlie asked. The look on Bill's face was affirmative. "I have a letter from him." He dug into his pocket and withdrew the parchment.

"What's it say?"

"I don't know, I didn't read it. I take it from the fact he didn't seal it that he _meant_ for us to read it – or at least he doesn't mind – but..." Shrugging seemed to be the norm for them lately, when faced for difficult – or impossible – positions. "But I'm not sure I should. We both agree if he was free to marry her – "

"I know what we agreed, Charlie."

"And whatever happens now, there'll be less aggro between us and her if we give her the same space and respect that we would have given anyone else."

"You sound like you approve."

"Approval's not the word... I think we need to make the best of a bad situation. If what they have is real, then they'll get together eventually, and do we want to be the big brothers that went out of our way to keep them apart?" Bill nodded slightly, reluctantly, to say that he agreed with Charlie.

Charlie knocked of Ginny's door. "Things with Harry not go too well?" he asked. "He didn't look to happy when he left here."

Ginny looked pained. "I tried, Charlie – I really did. I'd love for things to work between me and Harry. But they don't – I _can't help_ that. I _can't help_ the way I feel about Remus. Merlin knows, I wish I did. He left me twice without bothering to say goodbye, and I can't stop feeling the way I do about him."

"He gave me this to give to you," Charlie said, glad now that they hadn't read it. "We haven't read it. He expected us to, I think, why he didn't seal it, but we didn't, so I've got no idea what it says. But... I said something about Tonks that seemed to switch something on inside him. It was like a load had just been wiped off like that." He clicked his fingers. "Whatever it meant, I think he let go of a lot of what he's been feeling since she died, and I think he's started thinking about you without feeling like scum at the same time."

Ginny had wanted to harden her heart towards Lupin, but Charlie's words made it soar instead. She reached for the parchment, almost snatching it out of his hands, and Charlie beat a swift exit so she could read the letter in private.

_My darling Ginny,_

it read. Ginny's heart soared even higher at the _Darling Ginny_ address.

_I did you a huge wrong in leaving without saying goodbye to you – and that's not even taking into account the way I treated you in the last year. I felt responsible for Dora's death, I spoke to her shortly before she died about how lonely I was. I'm beginning to understand that there was no coming back for her – even if she would have left me, she would never have left Teddy if she could help it – and that I wasn't responsible for her death, Bellatrix was. _

_I've given you every cause to walk away from our relationship and part of me still hopes that you find happiness with someone more acceptable for you. _Ginny noted the way he'd said _acceptable_, rather that _suitable_. Acceptable, as in accepting by society... not suitable, because there was no-one more suitable for her. _But I'm selfish and I love you and if there's any hope for us, I plan on winning you back once I return to England._

_I love you,_

_Remus_.

Ginny felt a sob rising in her throat. She had never in her wildest dreams expected to hear such news from him – such hope for the future. He loved her, he wanted to make things right with her, wanted to make things work for them.

_Dear Remus_,

she wrote back

_I will wait for you. _

_Ginny_.

There didn't seem to be anything else to be said.

* * *

><p>"Uncle Charlie!" Teddy cried happily, running up to his uncle and jumping into his arms.<p>

Charlie hoisted him up onto his hip. "Hey, kiddo," he said. "Have you missed me?"

"Can we go flying?" Teddy asked.

Charlie laughed; trust his nephew to be more focused on flying than seeing his uncle for the first time in weeks. But maybe he missed his dad too much to care much for the company of anyone else. "Professor McGonagall doesn't like me taking you flying here at Hogwarts," he said. Taking a child flying dinky bordered on illegal, one of those things that was best done in the spacious backyard of Shell Cottage and _not_ on the grounds of one of the world's leading magic schools. "But the next time you come to Shell Cottage, I'll be sure to make some time for you. Is your grandmother here? I want to speak to her."

"Right here, Charlie. I'm not sure what kind of guardian you think I am that I wouldn't be far away – especially given what Dora was capable of doing if I let her out of my sight. Teddy, why don't you go and bring Charlie your pictures?" she suggested, sensing Charlie wanted to speak to her alone. "He's becoming quite the artist," Andromeda said proudly. "He loves drawing Hogwarts. He's always pestering me to take him somewhere new."

"I could help you out there," Charlie said. He explained briefly about seeing Lupin, and his letter to Ginny, which had made her very happy. "I was thinking he could stay at Shell Cottage from time to time," he suggested. "I know what you're thinking, and you have every right to disapprove of her. But I think they love each other, and I think eventually they're going to get together – if he can ever let go of his guilt, and I think even _you_ would rather see him happy with someone else then acting the way he was." Andromeda nodded so slightly that if you didn't know her, you would have missed it completely. "She's a good kid, Andromeda. More than a kid. I might not be happy with her choice, but at the end of the day, I have to respect it... and so will you, eventually. I think it's in everyone's best interest to support that, encourage Ginny and Teddy to have a good relationship."

Andromeda blanched. The idea of approving of Ginny's position in her son-in-law's life, after she had been his mistress for so long, after she had been fooling around with her daughter's husband... and yet, she knew Charlie was onto something. Lupin had been involved with the girl for almost a year; that wasn't some flight of fancy. And as much as she despised his infidelities, she _would_ rather see him happy – and happy with someone else – than miserable like he had been before he had left England. But the idea of letting that girl influence her grandson, of potentially being his new mother... "Let me think about it," she said coolly.

* * *

><p>"I don't like the idea of her spending time with him," Andromeda admitted. "She cheated on my daughter."<p>

"And you've already got Gryffindor numbers stacked against you, that can't help," Slughorn said; he was under no illusions as to why Andromeda was asking his opinion. Not that he wasn't flattered that she had asked for his opinion, and they had been getting along extremely well lately, but he wasn't arrogant enough to believe that she had sought his company for its own sake. Still, he wasn't about to say no to her when she'd casually invited him along one of her extensive evening walks through the grounds, almost as if she was putting herself out to do him a huge favour. "And you wanted my opinion?"

"I rather _like_ my solitude, Horace," Andromeda said loftily.

"And the fact I'm the only other Slytherin on staff has nothing to do with it," Slughorn suggested gently, smiling in spite of himself. Once upon a time, he would have been insulted to be used so, and by a woman who made it sound like she was doing him a huge favour, but teaching had mellowed him hugely, and Andromeda Tonks was just as enchanting as she always had been. "Will I be forfeiting any future walks if I say I agree with young Mister Weasley? What they did was wrong, Andromeda, but I'm not sure what else you expected him to do. Am I right in assuming it was more the emotional than physical affair that bothered you?"

"There was never anyone but Ted," Andromeda said primly, making it clear that she meant both before their marriage and since his death.

"But there's never been anyone like you," Slughorn said. "As I was saying – what they did was wrong, but can you really blame anyone for grabbing what happiness they can? And... he needs a mum. No-one denies that you're a fantastic grandmother – every student of mine _wishes_ you were their grandmother – but that's not the same as being his mum. You and Tess can bend over backwards and work miracles and you still can't fill that void. Have you ever noticed the way he looks when he's with Neville, Luna and Alice? Like if he could wish a whole family into existence, he would. And I think there are far worse potential step-mothers in the world than Ginny Weasley. I've heard stories about _your_ mother-in-law," he added.

"My mum was no prize, either," Andromeda said. She laughed dryly. "So that's John, Sarah and Ted dead, and Molly and Arthur, too. We're not doing too well for extended family."

"The way Teddy's taken to calling the staff 'Uncle' and 'Aunty', I don't think you have to worry about that," Slughorn said dryly.

Andromeda laughed at that – really laughed, which was rare for her, let alone over something Slughorn had said. "That is entirely Remus's fault," she said.

"You know, if I hadn't raised you better, I would have sworn you turned a blind eye to certain things so you can blame him for the means when the ends suited you perfectly."

She laughed again. "It is good for Teddy to have people he considers family and Remus to blame for encouraging such unprofessional behaviour with people who will be his Professors in a few years – his Headmistress next year."

"You still sore about Lady of the Lake?"

Andromeda shrugged. "I knew he was never going there," she admitted; maybe Slughorn was onto something when he thought she found it rather handy for having Lupin to blame for the means when the ends were exactly what she had wanted. "I liked it but I know Dora was miserable, and I wouldn't want Teddy going there, not with pureblood snobs still convinced that his breed-status is questionable."

"I would have liked to have had kids," Slughorn said wistfully. "I always found it odd how so few professors ever married and had children. It's a tough job to share with a spouse and children, but not impossible."

"Luna is singularly suited to be a – I'm not sure what we'd call her," Andromeda said. But there was no denying that Neville's wife was good for the younger students of Hogwarts.

"I think Ginny would be, too," Slughorn said. "And I think Charlie's right. If what they feel for each other is genuine, then they will eventually get together. Do you want to be the bad guy who disapproved of his new mum and did everything she could to keep them apart... or do you want to demonstrate some kind of acceptance? Whatever you might feel about the situation, I think you have to think about what's best for Teddy."

"When did you get so open-minded?" Andromeda asked. "I recall a time when you wouldn't have acknowledged me, let alone given thought to what was best for my half-blood grandson with questionable breed status."

"Not exactly Slytherin characteristics, I know," Slughorn admitted with a rueful laugh. "Sometimes I think I'm not the role model I should be. I doubt old Salazar would have approved of me. At least not now."

"Screw Salazar, he started all this pureblood garbage that had caused so much trouble," Andromeda said vehemently. "I hear you're good with them. You're certainly not as traditionalist as you used to be."

Slughorn laughed at that. "I never thought I'd hear that, and take it as a compliment."

"You've changed," she admitted with grudging honesty in a way that was clear it was – perhaps a not-so-grudging – compliment.

"We all have, I think," Slughorn said. "By the end of the war, no-one could sit on the fence anymore. We all had to pick a side. It made people like Dolores Umbridge who basically a vicious tyrant to show their true colours rather than hedging their bets, and forced me to stop being a coward and fight for basic human decency. I never realised just where pureblood values could lead us until I saw where Voldemort took them."

It was on the tip of Andromeda's tongue to say that he should have been paying more attention, but there was something in Slughorn's tone that made her check herself. This was a man who had truly reflected on his past actions and found himself lacking – a sense of self-reflection and self-honesty that few people possessed. Her nephew, for one, was singularly incapable of working out why his life had worked out so badly. She laughed out loud at the thought.

"What's so funny?"

"Thinking about Draco. He doesn't like getting by on fifty galleons a month, but he's incapable of doing anything other living off inherited wealth and exploited labour." Andromeda paid him a small allowance, both to keep him out of her hair and because it amused her to think that he was forced to rely on the aunt that he loathed for such a small amount. "He'll spend the rest of his life wondering where it went wrong and never once thinking that maybe he should look in the mirror for an answer."

"I loathed that little brat," Slughorn admitted. "And he wasn't particularly talented, either. Buoyed up entirely by his belief in his family's worth. Still, it's kind of sad that he – that anyone – is so helpless now."

"It takes courage to recognise the things you did wrong, that the beliefs you held were wrong." There was a tone in Andromeda's voice that was almost addressing Slughorn as an equal in their journeys of reflecting on themselves and their beliefs. She was calling him courageous, in her own way. He reached for her hand. "Don't!" she yelped, yanking it violently across her body so it was almost touching her right hand, and Slughorn immediately realised what the problem was. "You can hold my other hand," she said in that same begrudging tone that she did so well (Slughorn had long come to the conclusion that she spoke to _everyone_ that way, except maybe Ted, who had been more inclined to accept such address from muggle royalty than the informal nobility of the magical community) that made it sound like she was doing him a huge favour when actually she was inviting him to hold her hand, just so long as it was the hand that _didn't_ sport her wedding ring.

* * *

><p>Ginny woke to the sounds of a young boy squealing with delight. She went to her bedroom window, which overlooked the backyard. Charlie had Teddy on the back of his broomstick and was zooming around with the little boy as fast as he dared.<p>

She quickly slipped on her dressing gown and stuffed her feet into her slippers and Appirated directly into the backyard. Charlie waved at her briefly before returning his concentration fully on flying. She grinned at that. He wouldn't be so cautious if it was just him up there.

After another fifteen minutes, he brought them down safely. "Can't we stay up for longer?" Teddy pleaded.

"It's breakfast time, kiddo," Charlie said. "Maybe later on in the day. Teddy, you remember my sister Ginny, don't you?"

"I met you last Christmas. You were my dad's student when I was a baby," Teddy replied promptly. "You ice-skated with me, dad and Aunty Tess – you were good. Can we go skating again?" he asked, figuring that if Charlie wouldn't take him flying again, then skating was the next-best thing.

"If you want, but we need to have breakfast first. A growing boy like you needs energy – _I_ need energy," she said, laughing gaily.

"Uncle Charlie says you were a Quidditch star," Teddy said admiringly.

"Uncle Charlie exaggerates. I played a little professionally, but I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would. It's fun playing at school and at home with my brothers but when you're playing for your country, it's so much tougher and meaner. Now I just do a little work for the papers."

"Ginny's a lady of leisure, she doesn't actually need to work," Charlie said with a grin. Ginny poked her tongue out at him, although it was true enough; she had inherited the bulk of her parent's assets as well as those confiscated from the Malfoys, she didn't need to work. She picked and chose her writing assignments because she enjoyed it.

"What's a lady of leisure?"

"It means I don't have to work."

"Thanks to your great-aunt Narcissa," Charlie said with a grin. "Never mind," he said hurriedly when Teddy looked like he was about to ask about the Malfoys.

"Grandma says we're not to talk about her sisters," Teddy said. Then, the inevitable question – "How come?"

"They weren't very nice people," Charlie said. "They didn't like your grandpa. They thought your grandma could have done a lot better than him. But she couldn't," he added. "He was one of the nicest men I ever met. My dad loved him – he was fascinated by muggle things..."

Teddy wolfed down a huge breakfast before dragging Ginny off to the lake. She had considered herself to be energetic and athletic, but Teddy was something else entirely. "You seem to be placing more importance on the fact he's human than on the fact he's Remus's son," Charlie said.

Ginny spent the day with Teddy and found him to be a charming, intelligent, energetic boy. She had already known that, but actually spending hour after hour with him one-on-one was an experience far beyond what she knew of him. "Happy?" she asked him at the end of the day. She was charmed by the flushed, excited look on his face. She loved that he had taken to her so well, even if Teddy was the sort to take to anyone well, and he would have been particularly predisposed to Uncle Charlie's kid sister. But she honestly believed there was a connection there – maybe she _wanted_ there to be, but surely you couldn't _entirely_ imagine something, could you?

"Yes," Teddy said promptly.

"But...?" Ginny prompted. There had been a definite _but_ in his affirmation.

"I miss my dad," Teddy admitted.

"I miss my mum and dad," Ginny said frankly. "They died over five years ago. I still miss them. I don't think we'd be human if we didn't always miss our parents, no matter how much or how little time we got with them," she said sagely.

"So it's OK to miss my mum, even though I never knew her?" Teddy asked.

"Of course it is, sweetie. Did no-one ever tell you that?" Teddy shook his head slightly. "I guess that's because they all thought it was so obvious that it didn't need to be said. But you're allowed to miss her. I know Neville always missed his mum and dad. Still does."

Teddy took this information in seriously; it was exactly what he needed to hear. And so the ice was broken.

At the end of the week, Ginny took Teddy back to Hogwarts. Andromeda wasn't there yet, so Ginny stayed with the boy until his grandmother arrived. She knew at some point she would have to confront the woman.

She wasn't waiting long before she could hear the older woman's voice in the hall – and was that _Slughorn_ accompanying her? Ginny had heard that they hated each other... or at least, that Andromeda couldn't stand Slughorn.

If Andromeda was surprised to see Ginny, she didn't say anything. She smiled when Teddy ran up to her and hugged her exuberantly; Ginny was surprised to find that she felt _jealous_ of the boy's love and devotion for his grandmother. "I thought perhaps I should stay with him until you returned," she stammered.

"I'll leave you to it," Slughorn said. "Teddy, I know Blackie and Emerald missed you. Why don't you go say hello to them?" he suggested, recognising that the two women needed to hash things out.

"Did he enjoy himself?" Andromeda asked when Slughorn took Teddy away, and she was grateful for his tact.

"Yeah. He really loves Charlie, and I think he likes me. I wouldn't be disappointed to have such a son."

"Yes, dear, but you're not _old_ enough to be his mother," Andromeda said coolly. "You are, however, young enough to be Remus's daughter."

Ginny flinched at that. It was true enough; she was younger that James Potter's son. "You can't stop us from loving each other," she said desperately, because if there was anyone in the world who could, the indomitable Andromeda could surely take a crack at it. If she could make a convincing argument that it was in Teddy's best interest that Lupin remain single, well, Lupin might just listen to her.

Andromeda pursed her lips. "No, I can't," she said grimly, making it sound like she wasn't sure who was demonstrating the biggest lack of class – Ginny or Lupin. "But your brother seems to think you'd make a good step-mother. So does Horace," she added, and it took all Ginny's willpower not to grin at that. It was clear that, despite the history between Andromeda and Slughorn, she still held his opinion higher than that of a Weasley. Her eyes narrowed. "You'd better do better than just a step-mother," she said. "If he ever feels in any way less of a son to you than any of your other children, so help me Merlin, Ginny, I'll make sure you regret it."

Ginny felt her heart catch in her throat. It sounded like Andromeda was giving – well, if not her approval exactly, than her acceptance of the situation. Instead of outright opposing the match, she was negotiating the best possible deal for Teddy – that he never be made to feel that he was merely a step-son. And since Ginny had been perfectly sincere when she'd said that she'd be proud to have such a son, that wasn't exactly a difficult task. "I won't – " she started.

Andromeda waved her hand dismissively; she had seen enough to believe Ginny, or at least believe her intentions. Weather or not that stayed the same once her own children were born remained to be seen, but Andromeda had been perfectly serious in upholding her end of the bargain; her acceptance of the situation was conditional on Teddy feeling like a son to her. "You may go," she said. Then, a little more kindly, "Why don't you go and see Neville? Luna's visiting her father for the weekend and I don't believe you've met Alice yet." Because Luna and Neville were loathe to have Alice leave Hogwarts and Ginny had been banned from the school because of Lupin, all she had seen so far were photos.

Neville was sitting on the bed when Ginny entered, and he smiled warmly to see his old friend. "Hey, come sit," he said, waving clumsily at the chair near the dresser; his arms were full of Alice. "This is my daughter, Alice Penelope Longbottom," he said proudly, pronouncing each syllable with grandeur in much the same way people used to announce Dumbledore's full name. "Say hello to Aunty Ginny, Alice," he cooed.

"Hi, Alice," Ginny said. She reached out and Alice grabbed at her hand. She longed to hold the baby, but if Neville was anything the protective father than Lupin had been, he would be loathe to hand her over to someone who didn't have children of her own. "She's beautiful," Ginny gushed, settling for a bright smile and flashing of grey-specked blue eyes. "Sorry I haven't been to see her yet."

"That's OK, given the circumstances," Neville said. "How did things go with Andromeda?"

"OK, I think, all things considering," Ginny said carefully. "She basically threatened to rip my heart out in the most painful manner she could find if I didn't make Teddy feel like he was my son instead just my step-son, which was better than I expected."

"Never forget that she's Bellatrix's sister," Neville said sagely. "She's just as capable of treating viciously anyone who betrays her principles – her principles are just a little more humane, but that doesn't negate the fact she's a very powerful witch with a strong knowledge of Dark Arts. Minerva was right – she surpasses even Remus in what she knows. He should be grateful she wants to go back to St. Mungo's else there might be a fight on their hands. But anyway – she will hurt you if she feels you've betrayed something she believes in deeply. I think she might have already gone after you, or Remus, if it hadn't been for Teddy."

"It's that important to her?" Ginny asked, floored but grateful for this turn of events.

"You can thank, of all people, Horace," Neville said. "He's mellowed _so much_, by his own admission, he wouldn't have been sorted into Slytherin if he'd gone in knowing then what he knows now. And whatever's going on with them, she listens to him – sometimes. Particularly about Teddy. So when he says Teddy needs a mum, she listens to him, even if part of her will always hate you for cheating on her daughter."

At the word _daughter_ Neville focused his attention on Alice. She cried a little, which he seemed to understand was her particular noise for hunger. He conjured up her bottle and started feeding her. "I'm so jealous of Luna," he admitted. "I wish I could breast-feed. I was kind of glad that she went to her dad's so I could have Alice all to myself." He cooed softly to her and rocked gently. He was a sight, a grown man acting so gaga of his daughter, and yet, he had never looked so confident, so at ease sitting cross-legged and barefoot on the bed with his daughter in his arms. If marriage had made him happier and more settled, then fatherhood had done so even more, blowing away all his fears of abandonment like a wispy cloud in a strong wind.

She remembered Lupin talking about Teddy in that way, how he had been terrified of fatherhood until he'd held his son in his arms and suddenly everything had fallen into place and so many insurmountable problems were suddenly perfectly dealable. She looked at how happy and calm Neville was with Alice and she realised something.

"He would never have left Teddy."

"Pardon?" Neville asked distractedly. Even one of his oldest friends had difficulty competing for his interest when it came to Alice.

"He never would have left Teddy," Ginny repeated. "Remus. He never would have left Teddy, unless he couldn't help it. I never saw him with him, except at Christmas, and then barely, I never understood how much he means to him."

"I could have told you that," Neville said softly. "He just went crazy over Tonks's death. I think he felt guilty. He wanted so much to be with you, Gin, he would have wished he was single again, even though he knew the only way that would happen was if she died. I can't imagine what a burden that would be, to have that happen."

"I felt so guilty after she died," Ginny said. "Because I'd wished her dead. I – I had no idea that he might be feeling guilty, too."

"He didn't handle it well," Neville admitted slowly, loathe to say anything critical about the man he worshipped. "In the end, Minerva made him leave – threatened to fire him and side with Andromeda in a custody battle if he didn't get help. You're right about that – he wouldn't have left Teddy unless he could help it. And if it's worth anything, when he gets better, I think he'll remember how much he loves you... and he'll be able to love you without feeling guilty about it."

Ginny remembered what Lupin had said in his note. _I love you and if there's any hope for us, I plan on winning you back once I return to England. _He would come back to Teddy, and he would come back to her. She just had to be patient.

* * *

><p>Andromeda held a tired-but-still-alert Teddy in her lap that evening as she combed out his hair the way he liked. He was content to sit in her lap long after she had worked out all the knots, and she wondered where along the line had Lupin become so tactile that he had raised his son to love hugs and kisses and having his hair combed for hours on end. "That's pretty," Teddy said, spying the bracelet on his grandmother's wrist. "It's Slytherin colours."<p>

"Yes, it is," Andromeda said. It was a slim silver bracelet with a thin line of emerald snaking through it. "Horace gave it to me a lot time ago – before your mum was born, when I was still a student here." Whatever she had thought of the man over the years, she had never been able to fault his taste in jewellery.

"Wow, that was _ages_ ago," Teddy gushed, and Andromeda laughed, because sometimes it felt like only days ago to her. "I thought you didn't like him."

"I didn't," Andromeda admitted, using the past tense instead of saying _I don't_.

"How come?" Teddy asked. "Do you like him now?"

"One question at a time, sweetheart. He didn't approve of your grandfather – he didn't approve of my marriage. A lot of people didn't, but he was my favourite Professor and I think I was his favourite student, so he said some things that I couldn't ignore – really mean, cruel things. I think he was sorry a long time ago but he couldn't say so. And he sided against Voldemort in the war – a lot of people didn't want to take sides. They wanted to keep quiet in case Voldemort won and they could say they never sided against him... it took courage to come out against him. Courage I didn't think he had. So yes, I guess that means I like him now."

"Good," Teddy said, satisfied, because he loved his grandmother and liked Slughorn and didn't like them being enemies. "Was daddy courageous? Uncle Neville says he was."

"He was," Andromeda said, a little begrudgingly, but she could neither talking badly about Teddy's father to him, or lie. "He helped defend this castle, he killed his sire – that's the werewolf who bit him – to protect you and Tess, and another werewolf to protect you and Tess, too. He was a part of this really important organisation, the Order of the Phoenix, and he was a good friend of Dumbledore's."

"So how come you don't like him?"

_Damn_. Trapped by her own words. She forgot sometimes how intelligent Teddy was. "Horace said you and daddy used to be friends. He said you used to sneak down to hang out with him and his friends."

Andromeda laughed at that; Slughorn still believed that all those absent afternoons and evenings had been spent with Sirius and his friends, whose company she had infinitely preferred over her Slytherin classmates her own age. "He was my cousin's friend. I guess that made us friends," she said, lying through her teeth because they _had_ been friends. She'd had no problem with him being a werewolf until he had gone and married her daughter.

"So how come you don't like him now?"

"I – I don't know," she admitted, knowing that she could never admit to her grandson that she despised him for putting her daughter in her weakened state, despised him for encouraging Bellatrix's wrath by having her marry a half-breed. She had pursued Lupin, not the other way around, she had known what she was getting into... but it was easier to blame him than her. And she couldn't bring herself to tell him about Lupin's infidelity, even if he _did_ understand. "I guess I thought she deserved better. Because he was so much older, and he couldn't provide for her the way she was used to."

"But they loved each other..." Teddy said slowly, more for confirmation than anything else.

"Yes, they did, sweetheart. It was very complicated... but maybe I could have been nicer to him." She stopped combing his hair and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissing his head. "They both loved you very much, sweetheart. And so do I. No matter what, never doubt that."

She wondered if it was time to talk to her son-in-law – talk to him, as opposed to jeering at him for all his failings as a husband.

* * *

><p>What was it about Andromeda, Lupin thought, which she seemed to age at half the rate everyone else did? He wouldn't put it past her to have perfected an anti-aging charm or potion that she was keeping to herself. Whatever it was, at fifty she looked thirty-five, perhaps younger – young enough to pass for Tonks's barely-older (and much more striking) sister.<p>

When she got closer, he realised she wasn't wearing her usual all-black but what he supposed was her idea of semi-mourning – a full black skirt with a dark green overlay – a colour like emeralds seen in shadows, rich but barely discernable from their black backdrop – and a silk blouse that was only a few shades lighter than the overlay. And a silver bracelet. He backed away from her instinctively. Even the smooth edges of fine jewellery raised his hackles.

"Remus, if I was going to kill you with silver, I'd do it properly and get one of those knives that you and Tess tote around," Andromeda said when she saw the look on his face. "It's just an old piece of jewellery that I found again."

_Old piece of jewellery? _That sounded like – he peered closely at it, just making it the thin emerald engraving. "Didn't Horace give that to you years ago?" he asked. He remembered how much she had loved the striking piece of jewellery from her favourite Professor, even as she had been sneaking down to hang out with him, Sirius, James and Peter... when she wasn't sneaking out to hang out with Ted.

"So?" she asked, daring him to call her on it.

"Teddy says you've been seeing a lot of him lately," Lupin said laconically. "You might have screened all _my_ letters, but I guess you didn't screen _his_. So you don't hate him anymore, then?" he asked. "He's a good guy, Andy, he always was – just a bit cowardly at times. And I think he's growing out of that."

"He's old enough to be my father, he should have 'grown out of that' fifty years ago," Andromeda said icily. "And I didn't come here to talk about my friends, Remus. I came here to ask you and your marriage to my daughter."

Lupin looked suddenly tired. "Andromeda, I don't want to be attacked by you again," he said. "I know you despise me for the way I treated her, but calling me names isn't going to achieve anything, so if that's what you came for, then go home." And as much as she might despite him for the way he had treated Tonks, he was surprised that she was so obsessed with it that she had come all this way...

"I didn't come to attack you, Remus, I came to talk to you," Andromeda said in a funny, stiff voice that sounded almost as if she was trying to be friendly. "I want to understand your marriage. Teddy wanted to know why I didn't like you, and I didn't have any good reason except for ones which sounded very much like the reasons I didn't like Horace."

Lupin raised his eyebrows. That sounded very much like an apology in Andromeda-speak. And it was the first time since he had married Tonks that she had spoken to him like a human, as least when it came to references to his marriage, so he supposed he could humour her. "I tried to make her understand," he said. "But I did love her and I was lonely and it was easy to believe her when she said it was nothing that we couldn't work through. But it wasn't _nothing_. We were so incompatible in – er – certain ways – "

"Sexually, you mean," Andromeda offered dryly. "I never took her to be the storage-closet type."

Lupin blushed, remembering that first time when Andromeda had caught them. "She went to so much effort to make me believe we wanted the same things, and when I found out, I was so disappointed... and angry that I was stuck in this marriage with a woman who hated it when I was anything but utterly gentle with her. And _I_ hated being gentle. It's not in my nature."

"She never knew," Andromeda said softly.

"Pardon?"

"She never knew how much you hated it. And I think_ hated_ isn't the word you're looking for. Frustrated, perhaps?" she offered. "You're perfectly capable of being gentle, Remus. Perhaps not in the way you mean, but I've seen you with Teddy. But she never knew. I sensed it myself, but she never knew. She was _so happy_ in those last months. She wouldn't have been that happy – _couldn't_ have been that happy – if she had suspected your true feelings. You loved her enough to make that effort for her."

Lupin looked at her with surprise. "Why are you telling me this?" he asked, meaning _why are you being so nice to me?_

"It was easy to blame you," Andromeda admitted. "Easier to blame you than acknowledge that she flung herself into a relationship with a man she should have known she was so incompatible with. Easier to hate you for not being strong enough to say no to her than admit that she was just as determined as I was when it came to love, but it ended so badly for her."

"I wish I'd been strong enough to say no to her," Lupin said. "Or strong enough to stay with her. Or – there are so many things I wish I'd done differently. I wish I'd known then what I know now. I wish I'd let her comfort me. I wish she'd fought with me."

"You wish she had been more like Ginny," Andromeda offered. "I want to make one thing clear, Remus. I will never understand why you let yourself fall in love with someone else. The sex, I get, but not the love. But... I understand what you see in her. The Weasleys are certainly something else. And Teddy adores her, which is the most important thing."

"You sound like you approve," Lupin said dryly.

"Approve? Never. Accept," she corrected. "I wanted to understand your marriage first, and I think I do, a little better. And... understand my own feelings. It... wasn't fair of me to blame you for everything that went wrong in your marriage when Dora was at least half to blame."

"Sweet Merlin, Andy, who have you been talking to?" Lupin asked incredulously. "Not Horace? This doesn't sound like him."

"Horace thinks non-Slytherins are intellectually beneath him, you all the more so since you were so bad at Potions," Andromeda teased.

"I wasn't _bad_ at Potions, I just wasn't his favourite," Lupin protested. "What's the story there, anyway?" he asked, trying to sound casual when he was dying of curiosity. Was Andromeda softening, just a little?

"I guess this is something you just can't relate to, but when I was younger, I couldn't stop attention from men. I was beautiful, intelligent – I know that sounds arrogant, Remus, but it was true, and it was more of a burden than you think – and fourth in line to the Noble House of Black. Men would look right through me, Andromeda, and only see what a trophy I was. Ted didn't. That wasn't the only reason I loved him, but it was so liberating to be with someone who wanted me for myself. For twenty-seven years I was with this man who wanted me for myself and no-one bothered me because I was _persona not grata_. Then he died – and more importantly, _Bella_ died – and I was the heir to the Noble House of Black, fabulously wealthy and single." She twisted her wedding ring around the finger. To her, there was a chasm of difference between being single and being widowed. "It's like I'm sixteen again, maybe worse. Being fourth was so much easier than possessing the lot. And men look at me the same – the beautiful, talented, _wealthy_ pureblood. But Horace doesn't. And I like that."

It wasn't much of an answer; they had once shared the same kind of companionship. But he sort of understood what she was getting at, and it helped him understand her a little more.

Besides, if she found happiness again, that could only work out well for him. And Horace Slughorn – though who would ever have thought? – seemed to be as much of a mellowing influence on her and teaching had been on him. Was it possible that Andromeda Tonks was mellowing, becoming more understanding, maybe beginning to forgive him for all the mistakes he had made that had hurt her so much through her daughter?


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! Sorry for the delay in updating. Hope you enjoy! XXOO HPFG**

"I hate these clothes you wear," Charlie complained early in the morning. "It's so... obstructing."

"So sorry," Tess said sarcastically. "You know I don't like wearing nothing with all your family around."

"Prude," he teased. He moved on top of her and kissed her deeply, moving his hands under her shirt. "Baby," he crooned, nuzzling her neck and feeling her nipples harden against his fingers. They'd been married five years and he was still as hot for her as he had been the first day he'd seen her, the first time he had convinced her to have sex with him... he grinned at the memory...

"Uncle Charlie! Aunty Tess!"

"Ahhh!" Charlie rolled off Tess, glad that she _was_ wearing something. "Teddy! Haven't you heard of knocking!" he asked irritably. Teddy, his sense of belonging already precarious, scrunched up his face and ran out the door. "_Shit,_" Charlie said. "Where the hell did he get the idea he could just burst into people's bedrooms?" he complained.

"Probably Remus," Tess said dryly. "He wouldn't have much cared if Teddy did it," she reminded her husband. She curled up next to him, hugging him for a few seconds. "Go explain it to him. He looked bereft. He doesn't need to wonder where he stands with another family member."

Charlie and Tess dressed properly. They walked out to the breakfast table, where Teddy was sitting, looking forlorn. It was too early for anyone else to be up – not even Fleur, who believed in an early breakfast – but given that he was Lupin's son, he had energy to burn and was up looking to burn it. Hence why he had been up so early to interrupt Charlie and Tess in their early lovemaking session. "Hey, Kiddo," he said. "I'm sorry I yelled at you." He knelt so he was looking Teddy in the eye. "The thing is, when people are married, they need private time. You should never go into someone's bedroom unless they've invited you."

"Daddy never said I couldn't."

"Yes, but... your dad's marriage was very unusual. When he was married, I'm sure he and your mum were like me and Tess."

"Did you see them like that?" Teddy asked. "You and Aunty Tess are _always_ hugging and kissing."

"I'm sorry, Kiddo, I didn't. But your dad was kind of a private man, he liked to do those things in private," Charlie said, figuring that he was kind of telling the truth. After all, he _hadn't_ ever seen Lupin and Tonks being affectionate in public, but if they'd had Teddy, surely something must have happened in private. "But my point is – you can't barge in on people when they're in their bedrooms. Bedrooms are for privacy, you have to ask to come in," he said.

Teddy nodded. "I don't like it when Victorie plays with my things," he said. "The things my dad gives me."

Charlie made a mental note to talk to Bill about that. Victorie _did_ tend to like playing with the bits and pieces Lupin had sent Teddy, things that he prized highly. The boy was starting to need his own space. In the meantime... "Why don't we get Fleur's pots and pans out for her," he suggested. Fleur couldn't stand anyone cooking with her, but she tolerated her utensils being put out for her.

She was kind of like Andromeda in that way.

He came back to Teddy a few days later. "Kiddo, there's no space to create a new room right now, but Ginny offered to share hers," he said. "She said she will be highly respectful of your things."

"Ginny can play with them," Teddy said magnanimously. "She knows how to treat them. And I like her." He bit her lip, suddenly confused.

"Everything OK, kiddo?" Charlie asked.

"Uncle Charlie – is it OK – is it OK – I mean – I like Ginny an _awful_ lot, but – "

"You know, when Ginny was Head Girl, she was like a mum to a lot of the first years," Charlie said diplomatically. "A lot of them had lost their mothers and Ginny was a kind of replacement for them. She's very good at being a second mum to boys and girls who don't have one. Kind of like Luna. That doesn't mean they loved their mums any less."

Teddy nodded, seeming to understand that it was OK to like Ginny – love her, even – as a kind of mother without being disloyal to his mum.

* * *

><p>"He wants Ginny for a mum, Bill, or at least he's starting to think like that. And I think she's good for him." He glanced out the window where Ginny and Tess were playing an energetic game of tag with Teddy – it took a werewolf and a former professional Quidditch player to run around with Teddy – "I loved her, I did," he said, speaking of Tonks. "But she wasn't suited to me, she wasn't suited to Remus, and when I see Teddy with Ginny – "<p>

"I know, he's so alive and loving with her. It makes me think she brings out the best in them. She – "

"Fights with Remus and makes Teddy feel loved – makes them both feel loved. I never understood why my relationship with Tonks never worked with Tonks until I was Tess. I never understood how much werewolves and Weasleys need fire – Blacks may be good at love, even passion, but not at fire," Charlie said sagely. "And something tells me that Ginny and Remus together could set the world on fire, and the world would enjoy the warmth," he finished.

"Speaking of warmth – do you have any idea what's going on between Horace and Andromeda?" Bill asked.

"Nothing beyond what Teddy says," Charlie said, just as dying of curiosity, but he knew that Andromeda only ever revealed what she wanted to.

* * *

><p>"I got you a present, Teddy, to say welcome," Ginny said, presenting Teddy with a wrapped present. He unwrapped it, a Paddington bear. He squealed with delight. "His name's Paddington, and he's very English," Ginny said solemnly. "And he's special. If you hug him, you'll be hugging me, no matter where you are."<p>

"I'll call him Paddy," Teddy said, just as solemnly. "Like you. And like Daddy." He hugged the bear.

Ginny made a show of hugging herself. "See? He hugged me," she said. Then Teddy ran at her, Paddy in his arms, and hugged them both. "I love you," he whispered, barely audible, and Ginny didn't know if he was talking to her or Paddy. But she didn't care.

"I love you, too" she said to the little boy.

* * *

><p>A barking at the door woke Teddy, followed by Andromeda, early Monday morning. Teddy rushed to the door, thinking Slughorn had arrived with Blackie and Emerald.<p>

Standing in front of the door was a beautiful black dog with big brown eyes and a shining fur coat. There was a note attached to his collar – emerald green, no less.

_Hi!_

_I'm an Australian Kelpie. I'm good with children. I'm energetic and intelligent, so I need lots of exercise and games. Please give me a good home_.

"Ooooh," Teddy gushed, and dropped to the floor so he could hug the puppy. The dog responded by licking his face enthusiastically, and Teddy laughed joyfully. "Doggy! You're even better than Paddy! But don't tell Paddy that," he added hurriedly. "Or Ginny, either."

"Teddy, what's – oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me," Andromeda said when she saw her grandson with his arms full of puppy.

"Please can we keep him, grandma?" Teddy asked beseechingly. "I know he can't stay here when Daddy gets home, but he could stay with _you_ and I could see him when I come and stay with you. _Please..._" And he buried his face in the dog's sleek coat.

Well, how was she supposed to say no to that? Teddy had longed for a dog for the longest time, despite knowing that dogs didn't like his father. (She supposed it spoke highly of Teddy that he had accepted that graciously, rather than raging at his father for having a condition that made dogs frightened of him.) And she had fond memories of her own childhood dog, which Horace Slughorn damn well knew.

Damn that man. He knew how to endear Teddy to him in a way that made it impossible for her to turn him down.

* * *

><p>"Horace Slughorn! How <em>dare<em> you!" Andromeda fumed later. "You _knew_ how much he wants a dog. How am I supposed to tell him no?"

"All boys should have a dog if they want one," Slughorn said sagely. "All girls, too. I remember how much you loved _your_ dog. I'm surprised you never got another one."

"Yeah – well – Dora could trip over her own shadow, let alone a dog, it was never practical. You should have asked me," Andromeda said huffily.

"And give you the chance to say no?" Slughorn asked. "Better to ask forgiveness than permission."

"I'm not forgiving you," Andromeda warned, though there was no heat in her voice. "What do you want from me?" she asked suspiciously. The Horace Slughorn who had been her Head of House only granted favours to see a greater one returned – either immediately or some point in the future. "Fine, you can kiss me, then," she said. She closed her eyes tightly.

She opened them a few seconds later to see him watching her intently. "Andromeda, if I'm going to kiss you, it will be when you're not acting so hoity-toity. You didn't act like that with Ted, so I'm not interested if you're going to act like that with me. I deserve at _least_ the same respect as a muggle-born," he added, and Andromeda couldn't help but smile at that, because he was making fun of himself and the pureblood values that he had once vigorously held. "Why don't you bring Teddy and the dog over for dinner. Blackie and Emerald with love a pup to boss around and we can teach Teddy how to play chess."

"Remus already taught him."

"_That_ Potions-failing Gryffindor?" Slughorn scoffed good-naturedly. "There may be not hope in me ever having him, but damned if I'm going to stand back and watch while he plays chess like a Gryffindor."

* * *

><p>Ginny was making Teddy's bed – she was floored that he could be Lupin's son and Andromeda's grandson and still be such a slob – when she came across a piece of paper hidden in the pillow slip. It was from Fleur's stationary pad, which she had given him to write out his Christmas wishlist. She had assumed that he was staying with them for Christmas – it was, after all, a season for family.<p>

_My dad home_, it read.

_Ginny to be my mum_

_Yellow wellingtons_

_A Weasley jumper_

Her heart broke a little to read such a humble, sentimental list. Two and three particularly cried out to her; he clearly loved her, and Paddy because she had given him to him, hence the yellow wellingtons. (No doubt he would be more disappointed if they were the wrong colour than if they didn't appear at all.) And the fact he had hidden it meant that he felt it was too much to ask, didn't want to ask for the impossible.

_Poor boy_, she thought. It was heartbreaking that he wanted such simple things – this was a boy who longed for a family and all the trappings that came with it.

There were footsteps in the hall, and Ginny quickly stuffed the list back in the slip and made his bed as if nothing had happened. "Hey, Teddy," she greeted him. "I was just making your bed, I hope you don't mind. I didn't touch your dad's things."

"You can touch them, if you like," Teddy said shyly, which was his way of inviting her. "I just didn't like it when Victorie did because she didn't know how to take care of them."

Ginny sat on the bed and held her arms out. Teddy ran and jumped into her lap, and Ginny used her wand to bring each item to them, one by one, and they poured over them in detail. Owls and dragons that had been enchanted to fly, shimmering squares of silk that changed colours as you moved them, pictures on parchment that told Nepalese folk stories. Ginny didn't find it difficult to demonstrate great interest in them; she missed Lupin as much as Teddy did, though as an adult that knew all things passed, no matter how permanent they seemed to be at the time, and she loving pored over news from him.

"That feels nice," Teddy purred when Ginny stroked his hair idly in much the same way Lupin used to do to her. "My dad combed my hair like that."

_I know_, Ginny thought. "He changed so much after he had you," Ginny said, as much to herself as to Teddy. "He was my Professor in second year as well as seventh, and he was so secretive, so ashamed of what he was. And then he had you and he felt so much more complete, so happier with his place in the world. You know, when I went to see Neville a few weeks ago – it was the first time I'd seen him with Alice, and he was so much happier. I think that must have been what it was like with your dad when he had you. He was my favourite Professor, you know. He was so good at teaching, he knows so much and he doesn't treat his students like they're little kids."

Teddy leaned back into her, and she wrapped her arms around his waist; he responded by winding his arms under hers, between her arms and his body, and threaded his fingers through hers. "I love you, Ginny," he said.

"I love you too, darling boy."

That night, Ginny was woken up by Teddy's crying. She flipped on the nightlight and went over to his bed. "What's the matter, sweetie?" she asked.

"I miss my daddy _so much_," he cried, throwing himself into her arms. "I love grandma and you and Aunty Tess and Uncle Charlie, but that's not the same as having daddy here. I miss him."

"I know you do, sweetie. Here, why don't you sleep in my bed for the night. It's not the same as your dad but, well, maybe it's a bit better than being alone."

Teddy sniffled. "Can Paddy come?" he asked.

"Of course Paddy can come." She picked Teddy up – Paddy securely in his arms – and carried him to her own bed. Teddy curled up to her in much the same way she had seen Victorie do with Bill and Fleur, albeit a lot bigger. "Try and get some sleep, sweetie. You'll feel better in the morning."

But despite that, she couldn't get to sleep herself. _Remus, _she thought. _Please come home. Teddy needs you. _I_ need you._

* * *

><p>Lupin took in the spectacular view of Nepalese mountains after the first snow of the season. They normally had such a soothing affect on him, but today, he was distracted. And in a good way. All he could think about was Teddy. Something told him that it was time to return to his son.<p>

Mack Edwards, the Head Healer – or at least, what passed for it, because his brand of Healing was so different to Andromeda's – approached him. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically. "But you don't seem to appreciate it."

"It's beautiful, it is," Lupin said. "I was just thinking about Teddy. I think it's time for me to go home. I want to spend Christmas with him."

Mack nodded. "I could have told you that weeks ago," he said. "I thought you should come to your own conclusion. What about the girl? Ginny?"

"She said she'll wait," Lupin said. "We'll see how it goes. I've put her through a lot."

"You've been through a lot yourself," Mack said. He didn't elaborate on that. Lupin had come to Nepal wracked with guilt and remorse, and it had taken months of counselling for him to find peace. He seemed to accept now that he wasn't responsible for his wife's death, and that she had been at least as responsible for their unhappy marriage... and that he owed it to her, and to Teddy, to be a good dad, and that in order to be a good dad, he had to be happy. Weather or not that was with Ginny remained to be seen. "Go in peace, Remus. You deserve to be happy."

* * *

><p>McGonagall spotted Lupin the second she stepped foot in the Three Broomsticks. He'd always had a quality of powerful stillness that was borne of his lycanthropy, but what he possessed now was a <em>serenity<em>. He looked like a man who had faced down the worst possible scenario, and knew he could deal with it. He looked sad, but calm. Hopeful, even. "Minerva," Lupin said standing up to greet his – former, current? – employer.

"You look well," McGonagall said. "Nepal was good for you, I take it?"

"I thought a lot, rested even more," he said. "Minerva – I behaved atrociously. All I could think about was that I'd wished to be single for so long that she'd obliged me and died – and all the horrible ways I treated her – I felt like I was drowning in guilt and firewhisky was the only thing that could keep the nightmares away. I was a lousy teacher and an appalling father. I wouldn't blame Teddy if he wanted to stay with Andromeda."

McGonagall recognised the sincerity in Lupin's voice – not to mention the sobriety, not only in his voice, but his body language, his entire presence. "He misses you like crazy," she said. "He gets Andromeda to take him to the Owlery every fortnight. Charlie says he loves all the things you sent him, pores over them like they were Merlin's jewels and not – "

"Trinkets Neville got me from Knockturn Alley to pass onto him?" Lupin suggested with a smile. "I got him some things, too."

"He misses you so much," McGonagall said. "All he ever waited for were letters from you. If anything came out of this mess, I think it made Andromeda understand that you're a good dad. When you're not breaking his arm, that is," she added pointedly.

A look of shame and anguish crossed Lupin's face. "I never wanted to hurt him," he said in a small voice. "He was the best thing in my life – it was my job to protect him – he must have been so scared after Dora died and I just made it worse. But I'm going to make it up to him, if I can."

"How do you plan on supporting yourself?" McGonagall asked.

"I thought about that. I inherited enough from Dora and saved over the years. I don't need to work, if you're not going to give me my job back. And it'll give me time to spend with Teddy."

It was a face-saving announcement, McGonagall knew; while he might have been well-off enough to not _need_ to work, he loved teaching. It was what made him such a _good_ teacher. Which was a good thing, because he had been the best DADA Professor Hogwarts had had in the last decade. "Of course I'm going to give you your job back, Remus," McGonagall said. "On the proviso you keep it together and don't take your issues out on your son – or my staff – or the students."

Lupin looked visibly relieved. "I told you, I've had a lot of time to think," he reiterated. "I wasn't thinking straight. My priority now is making Teddy happy. That's the most important job I've got."

"And would I be wrong in thinking that you can make Teddy happy by making yourself happy?" McGonagall asked. "He adores Ginny, and you're free to be with her now."

"I seem to recall you threatening to fire me over it," Lupin said dryly.

"That was when you were married. And drowning in guilt over it. You're going to cop a lot of flak for being involved with her, whether it be now or ten years from now. Now..." she shrugged delicately. She couldn't outright approve of their relationship, given the age gap and the circumstances that it had been borne under, but she no longer had to outright disapprove, even forbid it. And if Ginny made them happy, who was she to tell them no? "Have you spoken to her yet?"

"No. I wanted to make arrangements with you and Andromeda first. I'm going to Shell Cottage after this, and then..." he shrugged. He had no idea what he was supposed to do after Shell Cottage. He was nervous as hell, perhaps even more so than he was about Teddy. At least with Teddy he had a legal right to take the boy and try and make him love him again... but Ginny was an adult who he had given her every cause to hate him.

* * *

><p>Bill, Fleur, Tess, Charlie and Ginny were sitting around the kitchen table with cups full of hot chocolate. It was snowing outside, which made Ginny think about how cosy it would be to curl up in front of the fire with someone you loved...<p>

But she supposed being surrounded by family as the Christmas season approached wasn't a bad way to go, either. She adored her two oldest brothers and their wives, and their companionship made it easier for her to deal with missing Lupin so much...

Her eyes were drawn to movement at the door. "Remus!" she cried, wondering if she was hallucinating. She had missed him so much and for so long that she had dreamed him into existence.

"I knocked," he said hesitantly. "No-one answered. I guess you were having too good a time," he said, hungrily eyeing the scene of companionship and hot chocolate. "I –" he started, before he was interrupted by Ginny throwing herself into his arms and kissing him passionately. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and kissing her back, flicking his tongue into her mouth and inhaling deeply to get her scent. He whimpered in an aborted attempt to say her name while his mouth was fused to hers and rubbed his arms up and down her back before picking her up and twirling her around. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he tightened his hold on her. He restrained himself from sliding his hands down to grab at that delectable backside of hers... "Gin, get down," he whispered urgently. "Before I make an ass of myself."

She slid down to her feet. "Are you really here?" she asked. She reached out to touch him. He rubbed his cheek against her hand, his rough stubble intoxicating against her soft skin.

"I'm really here," he said huskily. "I've missed you." He leaned in to kiss her again.

Bill coughed loudly from the table. Lupin let her go. "Hello," he said to the table in general, as if he was popping in for a casual visit instead of not having been seen for the better part of six months. To his sister, "Hey, Tess."

"You're back?" Tess asked eagerly. "For good?"

"For good," Lupin confirmed. "Teddy's coming tomorrow as usual, and we'll take it from there." He laced his fingers through Ginny's and ignored Bill's look of disapproval; all that mattered was that Ginny squeezed his hand back. "Gin, can we go for a walk?" he asked.

"I'll come with you," Bill said hurriedly.

Ginny started to growl, but Lupin interrupted her. "No, you won't," Lupin said easily. "What I have to say is none of your business."

"It is my business when that's my kid sister your feeling up in my kitchen," Bill countered. He wasn't sure he _liked_ this new Lupin who looked so much calmer and more assured. The old Lupin could be reasoned with to stay away; this one saw nothing wrong with feeling up his kid sister in his kitchen.

"Bill, I promised your brother I would stay away from her while I was married. It's not my fault if you expected that to buy you twenty years. No-one was more distressed than me that it didn't happen that way, but what's done is done. If Ginny will have me, I intend to marry her, and we don't need you approval."

In front of him, Ginny gasped at these words. "Remus, do you mean – "

"When we're alone, love," Lupin directed her gently. He looked pointedly at Bill; he'd done nothing but think and rest for the last six months, and he was in a fighting mood, especially now that he'd decided he wanted to be with Ginny and wouldn't let anything stop him – so long as she wanted him, that was, which she seemed to – and if Bill wanted to argue with him, well, he was bigger and stronger and willing to do whatever it took to be with her...

Bill seemed to understand that, and he nodded slightly. "Love, get your coat," Lupin directed her. "It's cold out."

Ginny fetched her coat, buttoning herself up hurriedly. Lupin directed her out the back door, his hand on the small of her back. "Thanks a lot, Charlie," Bill said. "Before we had a chance of making him leave her alone. Now he's all over her in public because _you_ told him to wait until Tonks died."

"Oh, come off it, Bill," Charlie scoffed. "When was the last time you saw him looking so calm? Or Ginny so happy? You may not like it, Bill, but I don't think anyone's going to make her happy the way he does, and at the end of the day, we have to respect that if we really love her. Besides," he added dryly. "Ten bucks says he's making a last-ditch effort to discourage her. He may be free to marry her, but that doesn't change the fact he's old enough to be her father... or a Dark Creature," he added, almost as an afterthought, because being madly in love with a Dark Creature hadn't exactly done _him_ any harm.

* * *

><p>"When did you get back?" Ginny asked Lupin breathlessly as she struggled with her gloves. He took her hand and slipped it inside his coat pocket, his fingers curled around hers. She was thrilled at the touch.<p>

"This morning. I saw Minerva before I came here. Teddy will be by tomorrow morning, as usual." It had turned out to be a very beneficial arrangement for the Weasleys to have Teddy Monday morning to Friday afternoon – when Andromeda was teaching – and to focus her attention on him on the weekends. Plus, Lupin thought with an inward smile, it freed her evenings to spend with Slughorn.

"You came to see me before you saw him?" she asked.

"I wanted to sort things out with you before I promised him anything," Lupin said gravely.

That made sense; the boy was already so insecure about where the people in his life stood that to promise him a stepmother and then have it fall through... "He wants me to be his mum," Ginny said. "I found his Christmas wishlist, that's what he wanted – for you to come home and me to be his mum. He loves me, Remus – and I love him. I'd want him for my son even if I didn't love you," she added, almost defiantly, as if she was waiting for Lupin to deny that he loved her.

"I love you too, Gin, but I need to talk to you. I have to be honest with you – about my marriage." He felt Ginny's hand tense inside his and he knew what she was thinking: that Tonks was once again coming between us.

"OK," she finally said in a small voice.

"I treated her terribly," Lupin admitted. "I – I know this isn't easy for you to hear, Gin, but I have to tell you. I couldn't get married again in all good conscience without being honest about my marriage." They walked in silence for a minute, Ginny giving him the time he needed to discuss something that was clearly distressing for him. "We – weren't – compatible," he admitted. "Sexually, I mean," he admitted baldly. "She – she lied to me. When people say sex doesn't matters, they're lying, or they've never been in a relationship where you feel so _frustrated – _our whole sex life was either her feeling like a whore or me feeling bored and frustrated. And I forced the issue with her. I forced her to do things, threatened her with an annulment if she didn't. She was only happy in those final months because I tried so hard to give her what she wanted... Andy says she never knew, so I guess I should be thankful for that. But I have to live with how miserable I made her. That's why I went so crazy – all I could think about was the way she looked at me after I forced the issue with her. I felt like I'd raped her," he admitted. He _felt_ rather than just _heard _Ginny's sharp intake of breath when he said that. "I thought I was entitled to treat her like that at the time 'cos she was my wife and she had lied to me, but now I have to live with that. I – I want you to know that about me. I want you to know what you're getting yourself into. I'm bigger and stronger and get carried away easily when I'm horny. You won't stand a chance if I'm determined to do something, and I want you to know that. I don't want to hurt you like I hurt Dora."

"Oh, Remus," Ginny said, full of empathy for him. He had recognised too late how bad a match he and Tonks had been, and would no doubt spend the rest of his life feeling bad for unhappy he had made her, when he was supposed to be the one to make her the _most_ happy. "How did she lie to you?" she asked, knowing she didn't want to hear about his relations with his wife... and knowing that she _had_ to hear it.

"Our first time was in a supply closet at St. Mungo's. I thought she was really into it, and it turned out she was just acting so I'd _think_ she was into it... she knew if I'd known the truth, I would never have married her. I let her convince me that there was nothing so bad that we couldn't work through it."

"You seem... calm about it," Ginny said. "Sad, but calmer. Like you know it wasn't your fault."

Lupin laughed dryly at that. "It was your brother that helped me understand," he said. "And I think _he_ understood himself for being with Tess. I loved Dora – we both did – but we weren't suited to her. Me especially... there was something there – something emotional – but the sex kept getting in the way and I was so cowardly... and she wasn't strong enough to call me on it. As I said, I've done a lot of thinking since I've been away. It's not my fault that she's dead and the state of our marriage wasn't entirely my fault, either. But, Gin, I'm rambling. I hurt Dora and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life. I don't want to hurt you."

"Remus..." she struggled for words. "Do you remember that first time we got together? In Bulgaria, after Junior?" She shivered briefly to remember the unpleasant attack, and what else he would have done to her had he been given the chance... Then she steeled herself by remembering what had come _after_, and she smiled at that. "I told you that you could never frighten me... or make me feel ashamed... no matter what people think I _ought_ to feel for wanting to be with you. You just spoke about sexual compatibility – did it ever occour to you that the reason we kept drawing back to each other was because of how compatible _we_ were? That I was good for you because I yelled at you when you deserved it? That you desperately need someone to fight with you and call you on your crap?" she squeezed his hand in his coat pocket. "I never felt so alive when I was with you, and I think you feel the same about me. You could never hurt me. Give yourself more credit than that."

"Ah, Gin, I wish I'd met you twenty years ago. I wish I'd known then what I know now."

"Were you serious? Before, when you said you wanted to marry me if I'd have you?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah," he said shyly. "But I need Teddy's approval – from him, I mean. Not that I don't doubt that he loves you, but it's one thing for him to say it and another for him to mean it when he's faced with the reality. I don't want to come back into his life and stick another surprise on him. I want him to love you as much as I do."

"I understand," Ginny said. She knew he was right – it could backfire badly if he breezed back into Teddy's life with the announcement that he was remarrying just six months after his wife – Teddy's mother – had died, almost as if he had come back for Ginny and not Teddy – but it seemed like one more thing that she had to wait for.

"And there's another thing... he's going to work out eventually that I didn't exactly conveniently fall in love with you at first sight after I come back... he's going to work out that I was cheating on Dora... I want him to feel he can ask me about it – ask _us_ about it, rather than hearing it from someone else... even if it means he hates us for a while."

"Remus, is this you trying to convince me not to be with you again?" Ginny said. "Because it's not working. I trust you and your judgement. If you think it's best for Teddy to be honest with him, then that's what we'll do."

"And I want you to love him like he's your own," Lupin added.

Ginny laughed. "I already said that I want him for my own son," she said. "Please, can you just kiss me?" she asked. "I _know_ you want to, you wouldn't have kissed me the way you did before if you didn't."

Lupin turned to her, sliding his arms around her waist, burying his hands under her shirt, feeling her bare skin. "I've thought a lot about kissing you again," he admitted huskily, and lowered his mouth to hers. He kissed her as gently as he could, given that it wasn't in his nature and it had been so long that part of him was longing to push her to the ground and have his way with her, but he wanted to savour it... he sucked gently on her bottom lip, breathing in heavily, taking in her scent, her taste. "Beautiful," he murmured. "I've missed you so much."

Ginny shuddered with desire to feel Lupin's arms around her, his tongue in her mouth, exploring with delicious, agonising slowness... Their kisses had never been so slow, so careful before, as if they were meeting for the first time, but better than that, with all their history.

He was wrong. He could never hurt her.

Reluctantly, he drew away. "If I don't stop I'm going to take you in the snow," he admitted huskily. "And if I do that, I'm going to go back on my word of getting Teddy's approval first." Ginny nodded slightly, although she wouldn't exactly have been upset if that happened... but he was right. He needed Teddy's approval before he allowed himself to fall so deeply that he couldn't put the brakes on if he needed. It was frustrating, but it spoke volume about him and how much his son meant to him.

* * *

><p>Lupin paced the living room restlessly. It was one minute past eight. Teddy was late. "Remus, relax," Ginny said beseechingly. "Sometimes he's not here until just before classes start. Andromeda hasn't kidnapped him."<p>

"She might," Lupin said miserably. "I gave her enough reason to."

Ginny sat next to him and placed a comforting hand on his thigh. "She wouldn't have," she reassured him. "He's going to be here any second and he'll run into your arms and you'll forget about ever worrying."

He squeezed her hand. "Thanks," he said. "You're too good to me." And he leaned in to kiss her.

Kissing Ginny was a welcome distraction – more than a distraction – and he lost track of the time, barely registered the _boom_ of the Floo going off, signalling someone departing – or someone arriving...

... Teddy arrived, Paddy in hand, to see his father – _his father!_ – kissing Ginny – the way Uncle Charlie and Uncle Tess were always kissing – something he had fantasised about a thousand times. And now here it was, right in front of him, and he was too frightened to believe it was true.

He panicked. He dropped Paddy and fled.

"Teddy!" Lupin yelled when he realised that Teddy had come at the worst possible time. And he had wanted to get his approval _before_ he saw them together. He hadn't wanted to bring Ginny into their lives like this... "I'm sorry, love, I have to go," he said, racing after his son.

He caught up with the boy easily. He had bolted outside and promptly fallen into a snow drift. "It's OK, I've got you," he said soothingly to his son, picking him up and hoisting him into his hip like he had done thousands of times before. To his paranoid, overprotective parental sense, Teddy seemed far too cold, as if he had spent hours in the snow and not just seconds. "Wrap your arms around me if you can." Teddy did so obediently, and his cold arms felt especially so against Lupin's superhumanly warm skin.

He carried Teddy back into the house and headed for what last year had been delegated his room. "Fleur, can I get some hot chocolate please?" he asked, sounding like an order despite being phrased as a question. Fleur just nodded and set to work.

He carried Teddy into the room and placed him on the bed, kneeling on the floor next to him and quickly stripping him of his shirt, rubbing his body vigorously, using friction and his own body heat to warm his son up. "Not so hard, daddy," Teddy complained. _Daddy_, Lupin thought. It was wonderful to be addressed that way again, and smiling encouragingly, he slowed down.

"Warmer?" he asked.

Teddy nodded. "Are you really here?" he whispered.

"I'm really here. And I'm never going away again," Lupin promised. "I'm so, so sorry for how I acted when your mum died. I was – well, I was really sad, but that doesn't excuse the way I behaved. It was my job to take care of you and I failed miserably. I can't ever take it back, though I wish I could," he said, feeling tears come to his eyes to remember how badly he had hurt his son, both physically and emotionally.

"Don't cry, daddy," Teddy said. "I don't want you to be sad anymore. I want you to be happy and play with me."

Lupin wiped his tears away hurriedly. "I'm crying because I'm happy," he said. "I'm so happy to see you again. I'm never going to leave you again." He waved his wand over Teddy's clothes, drying them, and dressed him again. He eased up onto the bed and pulled Teddy onto his lap.

There was a knock on the door, and Ginny came in with a tray of hot chocolate – and Paddy. "You dropped him," she said, placing the tray and the bear on the dresser and standing tentatively a little away from Lupin and Teddy, no idea what she was supposed to do now.

"Do you want Ginny to go?" Lupin asked Teddy, it sounded like an open question even to the six-year-old. Did Teddy want her to go immediately... or permanently? What Lupin had intended to ease Teddy into had instead been thrown in his face, and the shock could very well poison him against the woman.

"No!" Teddy yelled, demonstrating a possessiveness that Ginny had always thought was a werewolf thing and not a Lupin thing. "I want her to stay with us! Forever! I love her, daddy! I want her to be my mum! And she can be your wife, and you won't be sad or lonely," he added, almost as if this was an afterthought, though he had actually given it a _lot_ of thought. It had seemed like the perfect solution – he and his dad _both_ got someone to love and to love them, and when his dad was happier, he was a better dad. It was the perfect solution in his eyes. "Please, daddy, I'll never ask for anything again."

It was such a plaintive request that they would have been hard-pressed to say no even if they hadn't had any feelings for each other. Lupin reached for Ginny's hand. "I'd like that very much," he said. "I'd like – " he felt himself start to choke up. "I just want you to be happy with it," he finished lamely. "I want us to be a family, and – I mean – "

"What your dad is trying to say is that some step-families don't get along well," Ginny offered. She gripped Lupin's hand tightly as if to let it go would somehow make this all seem less real. Lupin was back, and Teddy approved. This was what she had been longing for for eighteen months. "Sometimes step-mums and dad are jealous of their step-children. But I don't want you to just be my step-son. I want you to be my son as if you were my real flesh-and-dad like you are your dad and grandmother's."

"Oh – _oh_," Teddy said, comprehending. He knew about _other_ boys and girls who had step-parents who didn't like them, but he knew Ginny didn't have an uncaring bone in her body like that. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too."

"Can I call you mummy?" he asked.

"I'd like that," she said. "But can we wait until _after_ the wedding? When it's proper?" she asked. She figured then Andromeda couldn't do much with her disapproval.

* * *

><p>Luna left Alice with Sprout and ran through the Hogwarts ground yelling for her husband, blond hair flying behind her. "Neville! Neville!" she called through the grounds.<p>

Needless to say, since Luna wasn't much for running through the grounds yelling, Neville was surprised to say the least. And a little frightened. "What is it?" he asked, all but forgetting that he was in the middle of teaching. He reached for Luna with both arms. "Is something wrong? Is Alice OK?"

Luna shook her head, hair flowing from side to side. She was smiling; glowing in fact. "Remus is back and he and Ginny are engaged!" she squealed with delight.

Neville's first reaction was to sigh with relief. He hugged his wife tightly. "Thankgod," he breathed. "I thought something had happened to you or Alice." Then he realised the news Luna was delivering; in fact, on further thought, it made him grin. Luna declaring the information in this way, making it public knowledge like this, would make it nigh on impossible for Lupin to wriggle out of it gracefully should he panic and change his mind. But then, that may have been the exact reason Luna had been the first to know. (He'd heard, unofficially of course, that Lupin had returned, but nothing formal about his reinstatement or relationship with Ginny.) She could be relied on to do exactly as she had done; be so happy for her friend that she ran across the school grounds calling for her husband to tell him the good news in the middle of class. "That's terrific," he gushed, meaning it. He had witnessed both Lupin and Ginny's misery over their break-up, known his own guilt for being the cause of it... and knew they would have enough disapproval without him adding to it. Impulsively, he leaned in to kiss his wife...

... It was broken up a few seconds later by the wolf-whistles of his seventh-years. "Oh, class dismissed," he said, waving them away. His students looked incredulous. "I'm sorry, do you not know what _dismissed_ means? _Go away_." He crossed his arms resolutely over his chest and looked as authoritative and disapproving as he could manage, making it clear that he was not discussing it anymore until they dispersed. They could do exactly what Ginny had expected and gossip amongst themselves.

They finally _did_ clear out and Neville led Luna to the small office at the back of Greenhouse One. "I've never come here," she said excitedly.

He smiled indulgently. Luna got excited over the oddest things... and yet, she wasn't nearly as flighty as people thought her to be. "It's nothing special," he said. Mostly duplicates of various bits of paperwork so he didn't keep having to go between here and his rooms in the Gryffindor tower. He had the furtherest distance between his private rooms and his work rooms of any Professor; he had checked.

"Yes, but it's _yours_," she gushed.

He pulled her into his lap. She had this way of making everything he did, everything he had, sound like something of such importance. "I love you," he said quietly. Returning to the reason Luna had come flying across the grounds, he said, "I'm glad for them."

"Really?" Her brow furrowed. "A lot of people won't be."

"We're not a lot of people," he said. He knew how Luna's mind worked; Ginny was the closest thing she had to a sister; Lupin was the closest he had to a dad. As far as she was concerned, that made them all but family, and a marriage would only cement that. Come to think of it, _he_ was inclined to think that way. "They were miserable without each other. _I_ was miserable knowing I'd caused it. They shouldn't be miserable for doing something that's not hurting anyone but small-minded gossips who've been fortunate enough not to lose loved ones of their own."

She kissed his nose. "You're such a wise man," she said sagely. "I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be married to you."

"I'm pretty lucky myself."

"Neville," she said, having forgotten her other news in the excitement of hearing from Ginny. "I have some other news..."

* * *

><p>Lupin knew Ginny's brothers didn't exactly approve, but neither did they exactly <em>dis<em>approve either, so he couldn't complain too much – especially not after what he had put Ginny and Teddy through... and how much he would put Ginny though in the future. She seemed to understand what she was getting herself into, and he tried not to feel bad about that. He was trying to be through with feeling bad about the consequences of a choice made fully-informed.

He loved Ginny. He was prepared to face the disapproval of society for her. If she was willing – and everything about her seemed willing. And every time he saw that look on Teddy's face – that look of sheer joy at having his father back and Ginny as his mother in the not-too-distant future – he forgot all about what he and Ginny faced.

Besides, a passive lack of approval was still a vast improvement on active disapproval... and he was pretty sure that there were at least two people in the world who would be delighted for them; one with a whimsical idea of how romantic it would be.

"You can't wait?" Bill asked, his objections to the quick ceremony Lupin and Ginny (and Teddy) had unanimously agreed on: it would look terrible for him to be remarrying within six months of his wife's death.

"How long would you like me to wait, Bill?" Lupin said, his voice deceptively casual, that keen intelligence showing through that had a way of proving his point with reason. "She will _always_ be young enough to be my daughter. People will always – " he stopped himself there, not wishing to explain to Teddy just yet that people would always be aware that they had been seeing each other while he'd still been married. "They might disapprove a little less given enough time, but they'll always disapprove. And given enough time, no-one will care anymore. At least, no-one _I_ care about. Though personally, I am _itching_ to see the reaction on Dora's cousin's face when he finds out," Lupin added, referring to Draco Malfoy. He was pissed off enough that half his family fortune – what he felt should have come to him through Bellatrix – would end up going to Teddy; now Teddy would have as a new mother the woman who had scooped up much of the _other_ half – the Malfoy money – concentrating most of what he considered his rightful inheritance on three people that he despised.

Ginny hadn't thought of that; she grinned maliciously at the thought of Draco finding out about her and Lupin. While _hate_ was perhaps too strong a word – hate had gone them in this bigoted, pureblood mess in the first place – she figured she couldn't be faulted for taking malicious delight in and misfortune that happened to the boy of the woman who had killed her mother. "I heard he's been hocking his mother's jewellery," she informed the group gleefully. "That Slytherin bracelet thingy that Slughorn was so fond of handing out to his favourites found its way to Borgin and Burkes," she said. "I thought that place was for unusual wizarding artefacts."

"Slughorn on ever gave about half a dozen out," Lupin explained. "He managed to put some kind of charm on the design so it was only his to give. I think Narcissa only ever got one because Andy and Bellatrix did, and she had a tantie over it. I don't think he thought that much of her, beyond her being a Black and having two talented sisters. They were for his ultimate favourites – his pet students who were Slytherins. Few enough were given that I guess they kind of count as unusual." He snickered. "And Andy says it's just some 'old piece of jewellery' that she found."

"I _thought_ that was his bracelet she was wearing," Charlie said. "Do you know what's going on between them? She seems to have really mellowed for being at Hogwarts. And she's wearing what I think is her idea of colour."

"What, green so dark that as may as well be black?" Lupin asked. "I don't know exactly what's going on between them. But I do know that at one time, his approval meant everything to her. I think that's largely why she was so bitter about his _dis_approval. She never got on with her parents so there was this – er – _mentor_ figure for her to look up to. And for all Horace's flaws, he does have a knack of seeing people for their talent as much as for anything else. She told me once that he and Ted were the only two men in her life she felt saw her for herself and not her money and prestige. And she's always had something a Slytherin mentality. It doesn't surprise me that she gravitated to him, even somewhat grudgingly, and it went from there. I always thought her grudge against him was completely out of proportion for his comments."

"What _did_ he say?" Charlie asked. He had spent the most time with Andromeda through his relationship with Tonks, and was aware of her intense dislike of Slughorn. He knew it stemmed from his disapproval of her marriage, but not exactly what words had been exchanged.

Lupin shrugged. "I don't know, only that it was hurtful. But I know he's regretted it for a long time. I think if she was less – well, _Andy_ – she would have forgiven him a long time ago. I'm glad they're getting along. Happy Andy can't possibly be a bad thing for me, and I felt awful banning Horace from being alone with Teddy. But that's all I know." He ran his fingers through Ginny's hair absently, and the movement of his arms caused Teddy to stir in his sleep. "OK, mate, time for you to go to bed. I'll put you in with Victorie, OK?"

"No," Teddy said sleepily, but remarkably obstinate for his sleepiness. "Wanna stay with Ginny. And you." He tightened his grip around his father's neck, as if daring him to dislodge him.

"You can't stay with us," Lupin said as gently as he could. "I need some time alone with Ginny."

"You know, that private time I talked to you about," Charlie spoke up with a cheeky grin.

Lupin looked blank for a second, then realised what Charlie must be talking about. He had never created boundaries with Teddy where his bedroom was involved, so naturally the boy had never realised that it wasn't appropriate for him to run into people's boyfriends. "I'm so sorry," he said. "It's never been an issue with us so I never explained it to him."

"I sort of gathered that, Remus," Charlie said with a dry smile. "Teddy, remember how you asked me if your mum and dad – your first mum, I mean – were like me and Tess? Well, you need to give them time to themselves," he said.

"I'm not going anywhere," Lupin promised, trying not to squirm that Charlie was attempting to help him out by alluding to the fact he wanted to spend the night with his sister. "If you really need me, I'll be in Ginny's room." Teddy gave a small nod against Lupin's shoulder in grudging consent. "Gin?" Lupin asked, holding out his free hand for his new fiancée. Ginny got up and rushed to him, taking his hand in hers, grateful to leave this room and her brother's allusions.

They took Teddy up to the nursery, where Victorie was already asleep. "We'll stay with you til you fall asleep," Lupin promised.

"Teddy, I need to ask you a huge favour," Ginny said. "I want to go into London with your dad tomorrow. Just the two of us. We need to look for wedding rings." Teddy started to protest, but Ginny's plan needed to be done without Teddy. "Please? We'll be home in time for dinner. We can't get married without it," she lied. _Trust me, please_, when she felt Lupin giving her an odd look.

"OK," Teddy said in a small voice. "If you'll be home for dinner. Read me a story, please?" Lupin obliged, holding the book open with one hand and using his free hand to wrap around Ginny's waist; Ginny leaned into Lupin, her head against his shoulder, her long red hair falling over his chest. As Lupin started to read, it was Teddy's last image as he fell asleep to see his dad and his new mum, looking very much like a couple in love, exactly what he had wanted since he had been old enough to know what a mother was and that he didn't have one, not really...

* * *

><p>Lupin pushed Ginny roughly against the wall and kissed her hard, his tongue pushing deep into her mouth, seeking out her own. She responded eagerly, raking her fingers through his hair. "Fuck me, Remus," she cried gutturally. "Fuck me senseless."<p>

"My pleasure," he grunted. "I've had six months to want you."

"Really?" she asked, longing to ask the obvious question but not sure how to raise the issue of fidelity that she couldn't expect given they had broken up... if broken up was even the right word.

"There hasn't been anyone else, if that's what you're after," he grunted. "I don't think I could get it up if I tried."

"Really?" she asked pleasedly.

"Don't distract me," he grunted. He slid his hands down her back and grabbed her buttocks, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. His erection was immediately obvious. He carried her to her bed and distractedly threw an Imperturbable spell against the door before dumping her on the bed and climbing on top of her. Kissing her frantically, he tried unbuttoning her shirt then gave up and ripped it clean through so her top half was clad only in a lacy bra from which her breast swelled enticingly. He kissed her flesh where it escaped from the lacy material as he fumbled with the clasp and freed them. He sucked on one nipple as he kneaded her other breast with his hand with the tough passion that she had become so familiar with... and had loved every moment of. "_REMUS!_" she cried, arching her back, thrusting the attended breast deeper into his mouth. She hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and bushed her bare breasts against his bare chest and entwined her legs with his, rubbing her groin provocatively against his erection, feeling it swell against her touch.

"Ginny, please," he said, knowing that he wasn't going to last long if she kept doing that; knowing that he wasn't going last long, fullstop...

"Fuck me," she ordered. "_FUCK... ME... NOW!_"

They divested each other of the last of their clothes and he plunged hurriedly into her, groaning as he did, feeling like a fire had been extinguished inside him and yet still feeling so warm... He began pumping her hard, grinding into her. "Ginny – Ginny – Ginny!" he cried her name over and over and he screwed her senselessly, just as she had asked. He stroked her with increasing speed and pressure so their climaxed happened simultaneously.

Afterwards he curled up in her arms, his head nestled between her breasts, momentarily sated, though he knew it would only be a matter of minutes before he was ready to go again. "Missed you," he murmured quietly.

She stroked his hair, damp from their exertions. "I worried that you were never coming back," she said. "And yet – I knew you would. I knew you couldn't just walk away from what we have. And whoever disagrees – well, fuck them. Besides, Luna will be happy enough for everyone."

"Was _that_ who you sent the owl to?" Lupin asked. Ginny nodded, grinning mischievously. "Merlin – Ginny – you know by now that the whole _school_ will know?" But her mischievous smile told her she had known exactly that... which was why she had done it. "I wouldn't have tried to wriggled out of it, you know. You didn't have to engineer for the whole school to know the same day." But his voice was gentle, easygoing.

"I know. But now you _really_ can't." She nestled in his arms a little longer, than stirred. "I saw something a while ago and got it for you," she said, getting up and retrieving something from her dresser drawer. "It's white gold, not silver," she offered. It was a ring made from white, red and rose gold braided together – three shades of gold and the two Gryffindor colours. "I thought you'd like it, and... I don't know, I guess something inside me thought it would make a nice wedding ring. Maybe it just reminded me a little of mum's wedding ring. Bill has dad's and mum's ended up being promised to me," she said.

Lupin handled the ring, entranced by its simple beauty and touched by the thoughtfulness and far-sightedness of the gift. Then his browed furrowed in confusion. "Hang on – I thought we were going into London tomorrow for rings?" he said.

"I told Teddy that because there's something I want to take a look at... and I don't want him disappointed if it doesn't work out."

"Ah. Clever minx. Anything you didn't think of?"

"Nope, think I've got everything covered," she said saucily, reaching for his crotch expertly...

* * *

><p>Andromeda opened the door, knowing before she did that it was Slughorn – with his finest mead in tow, something he didn't easily share. "I heard about Remus and Ginny," he said simply, which didn't exactly surprised Andromeda – <em>everyone<em> had heard. Neville's students had done a fine job of repeating the little they had heard, in an excellent spirit of Chinese whispers. "You must be angry."

She let him in. "I thought I would be," she admitted. "But I'm just... sad. For myself – I miss Dora – and for Dora, because she would have been miserable if she had lived. She and Remus were _so_ incompatible, one could only be happy if the other was utterly compromising what they wanted. Perhaps she's better off... where she is. Perhaps that's why she went. I – did you ever see Charlie and Tess together?" she asked.

"At the wedding. They have a certain – intensity," Slughorn said diplomatically.

"You mean Charlie finally found someone as passionate and overtly sexual as he is?" Andromeda said with a smile. "Dora wasn't good with him. It was funny, because they were such good friends, I think that was the reason they got together – everyone just expected them to. But I saw how frustrated she was by how enthusiastic he was about things – not just sex – and yes, I knew about that, though I think to this day he thinks I didn't – just – the Weasleys are all _so_ intense. I was the first to admit that Charlie and Tess are perfect for each other, far perfect that Charlie was for Dora, but I was so closed to the idea that Ginny might be perfect for Remus for similar reasons."

"That sounds like an apology of sorts," Slughorn commented.

"I was wrong to hold him to my own standards. Don't misunderstand me – I still thing he was wrong the way he went about things, and I think I always will, but I could have tried harder to understand what he was going through. It was so easy for me to judge when the line of marriage and widowhood was so clear-cut for me. I didn't give him any credit for how guilty he felt He said something to me once – years ago – that we had been friends once – and was I was one those so-called liberals who's fine with Dark Creatures so long as they're not dating their daughters... and he was right. I _miss_ our friendship and I wish I had tried harder to keep that... to understand him better. I wish I had recognised that Dora was at least as guilty for their marriage being as bad as it was. She went out of her way to pretend she was something she wasn't to please him – he didn't know til _after_ they were married – so maybe she was even more to blame than he was. Sorry," she said. "I'm rambling."

"I think it takes a lot of reflection to realise our own child's faults," Slughorn said sagely. "Maybe it's even harder than realising our own faults. I wouldn't know," he said dryly. He frowned when Andromeda chuckled at that. "What's so funny?" he asked. He wasn't sure if he _liked_ her laughing at him or not. Was she sharing a joke, a camaraderie... or just having a laugh at his expense?

"Word has it you're considered the most paternalistic Professor after Remus and Neville. Given they're both prone to panic if they don't know exactly where Teddy and Alice are at any given moment, I think you should take that as quite a compliment."

He smiled. "When you put it that way..."

Andromeda noticed an open book on his coffee table that had been systematically highlighted. "They disappear in a few days, I just wanted to go back to some things that I didn't understand," he explained.

"You can do what you like with it, Horace, I gave it to you to do with as you like. You could have thrown it out if you were bored."

"On the contrary – it was fascinating. I didn't realise how much muggle sciences could contribute to our understanding if things," Horace said sincerely. "I wish I'd talked to him about it when he was alive. I wish I'd been open-minded enough to realise how interesting and worthwhile it was when he was alive. How much of it is his work?" he asked.

"Most of it," Andromeda said. "Hermione did maybe ten percent... just covering the advances in technology and science the last fifteen years or so." Which Slughorn meant to meant was closer to a quarter, but still, Ted Tonks's pet project had been a fascinating read, an in-depth look into how muggle society – culture and technology – could contribute to the magical community's understanding of the world. He had never meant it to be much more than his thoughts, though the professor in him had turned it into a quasi-professional work, and Andromeda's sense of order had naturally insisted that if he were going to do it at all, he should present it properly. Over the years, it had naturally come up with Hermione, who had expressed a keen interest and then started tweaking it in accordance with changing technology and culture. But overall, it had been a fascinating read. "What didn't you understand? Though Hermione is probably the better one to ask than me," she admitted. Though she liked to think she was far more open-minded than her mother-in-law, she was willing to concede she could often be just as _ignorant_ of the muggle world as Audrey was of the magical one.

"The bit about genetics, mostly."

Andromeda laughed. "I have to give Hermione credit for that. It's been her pet project since Teddy was born. She was determined to prove that Remus _can't_ have anything other than human children. It's really complicated but it has to do with the way we're made and that he essentially is made up of two species which are incompatible with the other. As far as having children goes, he's effectively only operating on half his being. Tess is different, because the trauma of turning – they still _turn_, you just don't see it – means she'll effectively miscarry every month, but short of mating with another werewolf at full moon, it's nigh on impossible for Remus to have anything but a human child."

"Wow." Slughorn was genuinely impressed, especially given that for all its spells and potions, the magical community had never grasped such a concept. "He must have been a brilliant man."

"He was, but not in the way you mean. Genetics and human biology is just like Potions of DADA, some people excel at it but most have at least a rudimentary grasp of it. His genius lay in his belief of how much greater a society we could be if we embraced the best of what both worlds have to offer."

Slughorn nodded sagely. "Something you believe in, too," he said needlessly. "St. Mungo's hasn't been managed so well in living memory."

"Please, if I had a Galleon for everyone who said that, the wealth I inherited from Bellatrix would look like a pittance," Andromeda scoffed.

"Come, now, I never knew you to be one for false modesty. You manage it well because you recognise how much knowledge is lost by refusing to hire muggle-borns, Dark Creatures, recognise what muggle science can offer. I've known a _lot_ of administrators and Head Healers in my time, Andromeda – heck, I taught a lot of them – but you exceed all of them combined." There was a quiet sincerity in his voice that warmed Andromeda far more than any superlative. It was only what she had been told hundreds of times before – and something, because she wasn't big of false modesty, she knew to be true – but somehow, coming from Slughorn, it meant so much more...

There was a companionable silence between the two, until Slughorn leaned towards her and brought his hands around his neck. Sensing what he was going for, Andromeda jerked back, though not as swiftly as she may have done in the past...

... He handed her the chain she had threaded her wedding ring onto, something she had taken to doing when she expected to see Slughorn socially – something that seemed to be happening more and more frequently of late. "I'm sorry, that's been bugging me all night. You don't have to hide it away for my sake. I know you still care about him. I wouldn't feel the way I do about you if you didn't."

"And how _do_ you feel?" Andromeda asked.

"That depends... how do you feel about him?" Slughorn asked cautiously.

It was a fair question; she wouldn't risk her heart to someone whose emotions were conflicted either. "You're right, I still love him," Andromeda said honestly. "I always will. But if it was him, I wouldn't want him to be alone if there was someone who could make him happy, damn convention. And I think he'd want the same for me. You know, it always distressed him at we were estranged. He'd be happy to know we're friends now. I think he'd be happy if it was more than that."

It was what he'd been hoping to hear – or close enough. He had always known that she would always love Ted, and it didn't bother him... at least, not as much as it once would have. He felt the way he did about her precisely because of her capacity to love... he couldn't expect her to switch that off for anyone but him.

His kiss, when it came, wasn't entirely unexpected... or exactly unpleasant. His lips were gentle on hers, yet just a little insistent. For someone who had such a physical appearance of – well, _sluggishness_ – he was talented kisser. She opened her mouth to let his tongue in...

He pulled away after a few seconds, intentionally wanting to keep it brief. "That wasn't too bad, was it?" he asked. Andromeda shook her head wordlessly, suddenly feeling very shy. She was fifty years old but felt as nervous – infatuated, even – as she had been at seventeen with Ted. Slughorn leaned in to kiss her again, his tongue more probing this time, his fingers in her hair, a pleasant sensation, particularly for someone so long deprived of affection. Whimpering slightly, she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Dromeda," he whispered. It had been his pet name for her, something Ted had taken a shine to, an origin that she herself that forgotten.

She pulled away, her husband's pet name for her jarring her. She was suddenly reminded that she had been married for almost thirty years and had loved him deeply. Despite her earlier words, she suddenly felt guilty, as if she was betraying Ted somehow. "I think you should go," she said quietly.

He realised his mistake and swallowed his hurt that she was blaming him for using the name that he had given her in the first place. "I'm sorry, I won't call you that if you don't want me to."

He went to touch her arm, but she deflected the embrace by moving away and standing up. "I think you should go," she repeated. "I need to think."

"Andromeda – "

"Horace, _please_," Andromeda snapped. "I can't do this. I need to go into London when school lets out for Christmas." He knew that by 'London' she meant her home where Ted was buried. "Please leave."

Slughorn knew that this was the end of it, at least for the time being, and went to leave. "You can't push me away forever," he said with quiet dignity. "But I won't wait forever, either. I won't come second to a ghost." And with that he left, leaving Andromeda alone with her thoughts – and her memories.


End file.
